THE DEMON WAS DESTROYED.

So here we go, yet another exercise in butthurt and illness. "Illness" since I always suspect most bloggers are lying about their conditions. Anyway here's Sarah. Hi Sarah :3
Her first post is a story which quite frankly I'm not reading.
Then she posts about "guerrilla knitting" which is evidently knitting crap and then leaving it for other people to throw away. Err, I mean find and enjoy. She left some for "extra karma" which is extra silly because as we all know we are judged in life by the evil we destroy.

Yesterday I went for (another) checkup with my neurosurgeon. First off I got a call the day before and the time they gave me was later than the one I had listed. So I showed up at the earlier time. Sense I had to fill out a whole bunch of paperwork AGAIN I guess it's fine I showed up early.

Get used to this, incidentally. "Since" is always "sense" and there are quite a few other homophones (heh, homo) I'm forgetting.

You'd think by now they'd know WHY I was there and my medical history.

You'd think by the time you're an adult you'd know the difference between "since" and "sense" (hint: there's a pretty huge difference). Evidently there's a lot of shit people should know but don't for whatever reason.

She was much more forthcoming on extra info than Dr. Cohen was. She actually said the words "Degenerative Disc Decease",

Disease. This is what we call a "malapropism" because "decease" and "disease" sound similar but aren't actually pronounced the same and again have wildly different meanings. Although one often leads to the other, hmm.

Interesting info sense I have NO idea your bones could swell.

Since*

Of course slightly better means, still worse than it was when we were thinking about doing disk replacement. I could list all the issues.... but it's just depressing and not worth the noting.

As opposed to the rest of this which is worth noting.

I even left out a guerrilla knit... but I figured I should post about this.

As some of you know I had surgery again Monday. Basically I'd managed to blow out the next two discs in my back.

YOUR DISCS HAVE FAILED. REPLACE THEM WITH METAL THAT WILL NOT FAIL.

For those of you who might not know, post mortem photography was a relatively common practice as photography slowly got more common and portable.

Even if I didn't know what this was (and I do) I'd be able to figure it out by the, I don't know, words in the title? post- (after) -mortem (death) photography (pictures)?

People who lost a loved one (very often children) would find or send for the nearest photographer to take pictures. This might seem a tad morbid now

Everyone is pretty fucking pussified now.
Let me look at this fucking picture, motherfucker.
... Yeah those are some dead kids, all right. You can tell by the fish eyes.

A couple months ago or so I left a little hippo outside one of my favorite antique stores. He was the exact same color as the store.

Let me guess, someone from the store found the hippo and decided to turn around and sell it? You're not allowed to be butthurt about this. You left something for anyone to find and do anything they want with it.

Then about a week ago Kenton and I went into that same store. We wondered around for about 2 hours,

Wandered*. Goddamn you suck.

I don't always head down that way sense most of the toys aren't so much antiques as a few years old.

You're just doing it to piss me off now.

nestled inside was something very familiar. My hippo. Still with his tag, although now on the back was written a number code and price.

Oh ho ho ho can I call it or what?

Then the more I started thinking about it the more I started to get annoyed. The point of this was not for someone else to sell my animals. At least not so soon after leaving them. I had many different reactions from the friends I told and I came up with many different plans. I thought about stealing him, sense I knew the seller didn't pay for it in anyway.

This just in: it's okay to steal as long as who you are stealing from did not pay money to get the item in question.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.

:|
"You see, fear had an effect on him."
Most interesting thing to come out of your blog, I think.

Warning... this is an awful post.... don't read it if you are sensitive.

Well I am delicate like a snowflake but I think I'll brave it anyway.
Oh it's a really long story about a road kill moose. Anyway.
Oh there's you. Maybe if you lost some weight you wouldn't have so many back problems, good grief.

As most of you know by now I collect skulls.

Collecting the skulls of your foes is a pretty awesome hobby I must admit.

Today Kenton and I went to the firing range so he could use dad's rifles before the hunting trip.

Need a rifle to down a defenseless deer. What cowardice is this?
Anyway this is so boring I forgot to pay attention for about an hour so I guess it's go time, motherfucker.

A what

Birthday cake. Sounds good? Well settle your ass down.
This cake is a two layer dutch chocolate cake. Still sounds good? Wait for it--
Homemade pineapple glaze and cream cheese frosting.
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Anyway here we go. I found this blog through a baking group in case you couldn't tell.

As I sit here with chicken cooking in the oven (Oh, I know, right? A brilliant idea -- heating up the oven just to cook some chicken when it's currently 106 degrees Farenheit outside!)

Air conditioning? What's that?

Aside from the stress I get from work, I still manage to put myself up to receiving verbal abuse from my ex-boyfriend. To keep the story short, he hurt my feelings again over what I chose to study in college.

Seeing as how I skipped about five paragraphs of you bitching about the deli you work at, I'm guessing you chose not to major in anything marketable. Also why are you taking shit or, I don't know, talking to your ex-boyfriend at all? Is there a hidden meaning in "ex" I wasn't hitherto aware of?

Quite frankly, photography, which he has chosen to learn, is just as hard to work with as traditional art is.

Wait he majored in photography and he's giving you shit?
What a world~

Sorry. Photography takes the same basic principles as traditional art to build oneself some kind of foundation to stand on. Compared to my artwork, I take horrible pictures.

I'm really confused. You're butthurt he made fun of you and then you defend his decision by backing up his major? What's going on here, did I forget how arguing works or am I going crazy? (I seem to be asking that a lot lately).

I feel useless; however, when I walk into my work place.

SEMICOLONS~
Let's take a brief pause and deconstruct these little shits. So you've got a semicolon. What's it look like? Oh my goodness, it's a period stacked on top of a comma! I wonder if that's any indication of what it does?
Well fuck me, can a semicolon be used here? No, it can't. Why's that? Well let's figure it out!
"I feel useless." You can put a period after that, you can, so that must be an independent clause because it's a full motherfucking thought. It's got your subject, your verb and for shits and giggles it even has a direct-fucking-object.
"however, when I walk into my work place" is not an independent clause. I think. I'm not sure; it's not really a coherent thought (see how semicolons work you idiots?) We're about to get into some technical shit now so keep your eyes open.
So we have a preposition. "When". When something, something. So "when she walks into her work place". You now need something else because this is the motherfucking subject of your sentence. The entire thing. "When" is subordinating your clause. If you ditch "when" it becomes "I walk into my workplace" and you have a complete thought again. "When" she walks into her work place, what?
Let's take this into real speech:
"When I walk into my workplace," said the girl.
"... What?" said the other girl.
Holy shit, see how that works?
Let's revise her sentence, this time using only commas.
"I feel useless, however, when I walk into my workplace."
HOLY FUCK ME SUDDENLY A COHERENT THOUGHT OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE MAGIC!

Part of my personality demands I assert my independence and do everything in my power to get things done.

I hate it when people say "assert my independence". What the fuck does that even mean? "No, I'm just doing what I always do," would be my response. Why must you turn everything into some sort of last stand scenario?

Unfortunately, the people that work in the Service Deli were there before me and I am the newcomer. The low-life, the runt, the little up-start.

You're working at a service deli, calm down. You're not upstarting anything.

I must sarcastically apologize to the few customers that walked away from the counter due to my slowness.

You should apologize. I came here to buy some goddamn food and look how fucking long you're taking, then you're going to give me shit about it while I'm just waiting here?

The icing on the cake came around when I got settled at home after work. My father made some coleslaw and that's a food I cannot stand. I have never liked it. If I want bits of cabbage and carrots stuck in my teeth, I would eat a salad.

Well fuck your shit too.
Zoinks, here's a post I must be 18+ to view!
Well, fortunately--
Oh she drew a picture of her fucking someone. You're not very good at this anatomy thing for someone who majored in art. Oh man everyone has a thorax in this situation. Half bug people. This is disturbing me.

I'm a mess right now and I wish I had more time to actually talk about my feelings.

That's your problem. You talk about your feelings too much. Seriously name an emotion I've mentioned in this blog outside of "hate" or "pissed off at your shit"?

This was one of the first charchoal drawings done in the class. I'm always being told to mind my edges, to sharpend them so everything comes out a bit clear-er. Well, I was told all the time in ART101 to "omit the line. You've gotta omit the line!"

YOU GOTTA LEARN TO SPELL would be my advice.
Also this is why you're a bad artist. You don't want clear lines? Tell clear lines to go fuck themselves. If your art teacher (har har) tells you it's important, tell him he's a fucking hack and doesn't know shit about it.
Shit you do need to work on your colors. I've never seen an apple made of metal before.
Less white, more red.

Oftentimes, I log onto LiveJournal and stare at the empty post box, wanting to type out some angsty sob story so I can have some lame person come over and pat me on the back.

Sometimes I have to pause for a minute before I start to muster enough piss.

As I watch further into 花より団子

Whoa, what
Hana yori dango.
Flowers over dumplings--
I don't even know what the fuck

Last night, I finished watching the Japanese drama ぜったいかれし

"Zettai Kareshi" which means something like "Absolute Boyfriend" I'm guessing.
I just don't want her to think there's some language endeavor she's better at than me is all.

• おはよう、みんあ。元気？そうならいいですね～
• これは最初のentryだ。
• よろしく、ね。83

Oh my God.
Nope, not doing this.
Somehow she's even more annoying in Japanese than she is in English. I didn't think that was humanly possible and yet here we are.
Oh shit, that's it. I'm actually done! I read her whole fucking blog, fantastic.

日本に行きましょうか

"Learning a new language can be difficult. This active community offers friendly advice and support for those looking to improve their Nihongo," says the community "Japanese". Yeah, I got a tip for you: study a lot, asshole. (translator's note: "nihongo" means "Japanese language" in Japanese)
Thanks to this excellent community filled with fascinating people I managed to find this blog.
I'm in for it now.

For those of you who don't watch unholy amounts of anime speak Japanese, my entry title means "I'm saved!" and I really am.

:|

I just found out that I owe my school $2300. I don't have that money. At all.

Yeah amazing how prompt and clear schools are when it comes to money but how secretive and unclear they are when it comes to "can I take these classes at the same time?" STILL WAITING TO HEAR BACK, SPEAKING OF. How utterly arbitrary this entire thing is. CAN'T TAKE THESE TWO CLASSES AT ONCE, HURRR.
Why not? BECAUSE PREREQUISITES. But why is one a prerequisite to the other? They're the same class, practically.
IT'S A PREREQUISITE.
Fuuuuuuck me for asking.

Yesterday, I had math class in the morning. I've had this class for the last 3-4 weeks and my teacher was unexpectedly caucasian when I expected someone asian.

Because Asians are good at math I guess. White people never are good at math except a lot of the theories are named after the white guys that discovered them.
Wait--

Anyways, I want to watch episodes 2 and 3, which I hear are out, but YouTube is CRIMPING MAH STYLE!

What the fuck, man?

Usually, the fact the the future is a big fat question mark, that I, and the world as a whole, can go any of 20 directions I can think of and another 40 million I -can't- think of, scares me. Well, to be more accurate, it scares the shit out of me so badly that it frequently leaves me cowering in a metaphorical corner, tearing my hair out with terror.

Yeah I know what you mean.
(man who has been quoted saying "the future is trivia" and "the future is immaterial")

But this isn't about that.

Hey, yeah, speaking of something irrelevant.

This is about that one-in-a-million time when that big question mark delights me to the point of bouncing in place and squealing.

Wow you're really annoying. Oh, dare I click on the link that says "squealing" so I can read more of this wonderful post? A lesser man might recoil in horror but I am trained for this kind of situation. I'm going to do some editing here because quite frankly who gives a shit:

Today, my school did one of its many cheesy little events, but since I'm here and they offer free food, I decided to stop by. It's a diversity fair, but not about what you'd think it'd be about. Because this was about AGE diversity--how awesome is that?!

Not really.

Anyway, people were divided by when they were born, from as far back as WWI, WWII and the Depression, all the way up to 2000 and they fell into four overall groups: Veterans, Baby Boomers, Generation X and Generation Y.

So cool people, assholes who ruined the world, faggots and pussies respectively.
Fantastic.

They had little sheet thingers detailing general personality traits for each generation

Wait let me visually represent this. So in order from veteran to "Gen-Y" (my generation is so uncreative we can't even come up with our own name):Wooooooooooow, it's fucking nothing!

THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO, YET!! NOONE DOES!!

Peter Noone guide us.

How exciting is that? Our future is wide open.

Dark age up and coming, calling it now.

In the next 20 years, the whole world is going to learn how this generation of globally-conscious, hyper-connected, instantly-gratified people make decisions, how we lead, how we inspire the people who follow us.

The age of Twatter, Livejournal and DeviantArt. Glad to be here.

I thought about it, then realized that I first met a computer when I was 10, in 1999, and I first got to know one when I was 12, in 2001, so I believe that factlet.

First memory of a computer: playing Wishbone's "The Odyssey" on my Acer. Fuck yeah I just played that game recently, even.
Beat it in like 15 minutes because I've practically memorized The Odyssey in the interim 11 years, too.

It is possible to find God without finding a church.

Let me tell you about a really cool god, kids: his name is Zeus, and he doesn't require money from you like the Christian God does.
I plan on teaching at a Christian school. How long do you think I'll last before I'm fired (from the job or literally)?

I like pissing people off. Not people I like, obviously, but everyone else in the world, I kinda wanna piss them off. I ENJOY defying normality and taboo.

Considering this post is called her "Rant O Doom" (so randum xD) I'd now like to mention a recent phenomenon I've discovered. Everyone claims to be so randum xD and unique but they all do it in exactly the same way with the same vocabulary and everything, so their uniqueness and randum xD-ness is now a pattern you can track.
... Am I going crazy here or does anyone else spot the contradiction?

Anything I am told not to do, I want to do.

Wow so cool-- college-going white girl. You sure are zany and unique!

Of course, this defiant streak means I DO NOT want to do anything I'm told to do, either explicitly or implicitly. Do your homework? DNW. Lose weight? NOPE! Hate your squishy bits? FUCK YOU! See where this is going? Yeah.

So you're another fuck up asshole who's overweight and burdening our laboring health care system, and yet somehow you're proud of this, err, achievement.
Wow you sure are a unique snowflake.

Anyway, I can take direction when I need to. I finish my homework just in time to turn it in.

So-- you're special and unique because you don't do what you're told (including homework) and yet you do your homework and turn it in on time-- am I going crazy?

Now, I'm not gonna harass people about their opinions, even when it's WRONG, so long as they can explain WHY they think it.

>opinion
>wrong
It's like my brain is collapsing in on itself!

So, I haven't been complaining to you guys about my computer, because I probably deserve most of my computer woes. I watch free porn and hentai, download yaoi from semi-suspicious sources and visit mangafox.

>download porn from suspicious sources
>has computer troubles
You're just trying to get up on my tits, aren't you?

AVG is not only free, the newest version is so awesome it won't even let you open stuff that could kill you system, which it quickly proved, because I am an idiot. =.=

Wow the only AVG warnings I ever get are "you need to restart your computer to finish your updates" but then again I am smart enough to not open "childporn.jpg.pdf.exe.jar" so whatever.

I'm fat. This isn't a surprise. I want to be known as being pretty. I want someone to think I'm beautiful.

Even if you lose weight it still will not fix the unfortunate arrangement of your facial features~

So....I've started the summer semester. It's pretty much what I expected: a weird combination of too much work and too much free time.

SITTIN' IN CLASS FOR FOURS HOURS, TALKING ON MSN
GETTING AN A WITHOUT EVEN TRYING
SEMESTER OF THE YEAR ALL YEARS

I also finished watching Twelve Kingdoms. If you have never seen this anime, you DESPERATELY need to watch it.

No that's okay, really.

Ok, I'm taking IS 220. It's an international studies class focusing on Japanese history. My teacher is a 70 year-old white woman. Already makes you wanna go HUNH?

It does?
You can know stuff about cultures not your own, you know.
Anyway the rest of this blog is the same shit and zzzzzzzz so I'm going to go do something with my life.