Hail Caesar

I guess--
Maybe I dunno.
Get ready for frank discussions of brown girls' vaginas.
I was excited for a minute but it only lead to disappointment.
Can nothing remain good and decent on Livejournal?

Good news, ladies! Society has discovered another new thing that's wrong with you, which means another opportunity for you to make yourself more attractive for your man. Score!

HURRAY!

Turns out, the color of your vagina is gross and everyone hates it. So bleach that motherfucker. Bleach it right now!

I'm going to need some citation on this.

In this commercial for an Indian product called Clean and Dry Intimate Wash, a (very light-skinned) couple sits down for what would have been a peaceful cup of morning coffee—if the woman's disgusting brown vagina hadn't ruined everything! 

India, the country well-known for throwing acid in the face of women for adultery.
Yeah not going to buy this bullshit.
Come at me with a first world problem and we'll talk.

The dude can't even bring himself look at her. He can't look at his coffee either, because it only reminds him of his wife's dripping, coffee-brown hole! Fortunately, the quick-thinking woman takes a shower, scrubbing her swarthy snatch with Clean and Dry Intimate Wash ("Freshness + Fairness"). And poof!

That is a good point, though. No one wants to fuck a fish hole.
I don't see any products for cheese dick, either, so I'm calling into question your ability to clean yourselves properly, women.

Needless to say, certain citizens are troubled by this product—which, in addition to just being fucking insane, brings up painful issues about the hierarchy of skin tone within the Indian community. As if it isn't bad enough that darker-skinned people are encouraged to stay out of the sun and invest in skin-bleaching products like Fair & Lovely, and that white actresses are being imported to play Indian people in Bollywood movies, now everyone has to be insecure about the fact that their vaginas happen to be the color that vaginas are??? Splendid! 

Did you guys read about the Agni-VI rocket?
I think we have more problems with India than fucking cunt bleach.
They have a rocket capable of reaching basically anywhere not America and they're clearly mentally unstable.
Now ordinarily I wouldn't care about devious foreigners but thanks to the fucking internet and video games I find myself with friends in the Czech Republic and Finland so hopefully they won't be nuked.
Although their women will have fantastically white vaginas so maybe they'll be safe.
I don't even care about this so I'm just spinning my wheels. I doubt seriously India would employ their stupid rocket for anything other than Pakistan so who the fuck cares?

Well, I haver finally succeeded. I managed to order a CD for myself online on Yesasia^^
My mother paid.

HAHA BUYING MUSIC
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

Shame I couldn't get anything else. Money is WAAAAAAAAY too tight and buying something GACKT would have been waaaaaaay tooooo much, especially with the RIDICULOUS shipping fees we have to pay just because we are on the African continent.....

On the African continent?
HOW ARE YOU TYPING THIS?
Post on why piracy is okay--
Don't care about this--

the issues of not having a real choice in where you study is that you have to put up with whatever shit your varsity throws at you, including them not having stamps to certify your forms. 

South Africa is where she is.
I get it now.
I thought South Africa lost its entire infrastructure.
A post about how she got mugged--
South Africa sounds like a cool country if you're fucking Kenshiro, though.

first i got pick pocketed and my favourite phone ever is lost for good,

then i hear that Selena of SHE was in a horrible accident and suffered third degree burns to her body which will require skin grafts and a over a year of rehab and she might not walk properly again and now to make things worse.

Man.
South Africa sounds like the coolest fucking place ever.
Who lives here?
Apparently thieves and morons.
And I'm up to the beginning of this blog.
So to summarize:
whining
whining
JAPAN
whining
stealing
stealing
stealing
stealing
SOUTH AFRICA.

Oh Man

This blog is shit but I don't even care because for once in about 3 months I don't have to agree I'm 14 or older to read. I guess I had forgotten how awesomely annoying that is but it is nice to be treated like a human being for once.
Of course that said why you'd want to read this ghastly abomination begging for the release of death I have no idea but I've long since given up trying to explain this crap.
Don't let the purple background fool you (or the endless whining) I'm pretty sure this is a man.
I'm not sure why I think that, come to think of it.
... Let's find out, then.

Which comic book character would you like to see on the silver screen? Who would you cast to play the role?

Why all the comic book questions lately?
Oh well. Let me see if I can pull some more obscure comic book heroes from my ass like last time:
Hawk and Dove
Booster Gold
Blue Beetle
Green Arrow
I'm out.

I would love to see Nightwing or Booster Gold on the silver screen.

Oh Nightwing. Good one.
Hadn't thought of that one.
Oh I thought of three more:
Atom Man
The Shining Knight
Red Tornado
Seriously please help me I don't know how I know all this.
I also seem to recall that Nightwing was kind of the Kryptonian answer to Batman.
So he was supposed to be a mix of Superman and Batman which actually sounds like a really bad idea to me.

As for who should be cast as them, I am too unfamiliar with actors to even suggest one.

Booster Gold should definitely be played by a gay porn actor.

I'm selling doujinshi over at my sales journal, here.

Fandoms are as follows: Prince of Tennis, D.Gray-man, Tales of the Abyss, and Gundam Wing.

This is actually where my knowledge of all things begins to fall apart.
I know a doujinshi is a fan comic (which they sell. Somehow. Apparently copyright laws don't exist in Japan) and I was always under the impression they were pornographic in nature but maybe they aren't.
Quite why you'd admit to owning one if they are pornographic I don't know but if there's one thing I've learned it's that people have no shame.

What's the point? Why am I even trying?

The whole job thing's probably not going to work out even if I want it to. My dad clearly doesn't approve of my attempt to get said job, too. Mom just smiles and nods when I talk about trying to get that job, but that really doesn't mean much anymore. She rarely actually pays attention to what I say these days. I just feel like a freeloader when I'm at home.

Isn't it grand?

I put in over fifty job apps last summer, and I didn't receive a single callback. This is the first job offer I've ever had. It's the first time anyone's ever come up to me and asked, "Have you ever considered getting a job here? I need an assistant. You should submit a resume." I just want to help. Is that so bad?

I'm not even going to do the "what are you talking about?" thing. Start explaining yourself when you want to.
I mean I guess the implication is his (?) family is having financial troubles so he wants to help by getting a job but whenever I guess the sensible thing based on evidence presented I'm always dead wrong so I'm completely withholding my guess.

The "get straight As" thing is not going to work out, either, but not because of biology class; it's not going to work out because of my writing class. My writing class. I don't understand why I keep getting such horrible grades on my papers. All I can think of is that it's the assistant grading them, rather than the teacher who seemingly loves my writing style.

Oh yes it must be the assistant's fault and not that you suck at writing.

I just--I'm so upset about this because I have scholarships that fucking depend on straight As. They aren't worth much, but I do like receiving them. Every little bit of funding helps.

Try explaining that to them. I've seen Bs turn into As magically.

I feel sick because of my antibiotics--or maybe because of the three other new medicines they put me on when I went to the doctor earlier this week.

Did I tell you I've been leveling conjurer lately in FFXIV?
What a miserable job that is, Jesus Christ.
You'd think shooting lightning out of your hands like the fucking Emperor from Star Wars would be slightly more effective than punching things in the face but you'd also be dead fucking wrong.
I know Edie is only rank 17 conjurer and 47 pugilist so it's unfair to compare two radically different things but I'm pretty sure rank 17 pugilist is more efficient than rank 17 conjurer.
Fuck I might bet on rank 12 pugilist before rank 17 conjurer.

God, I don't even care. I'm just so tired all the time. I'm not happy unless I see Sarah or Lisa because they're really the only ones I ever see anymore, and they don't even live around here. I want to visit people, but I don't have the gas money. Hell, I'll probably shut my new cell phone off near the end of May just because I really can't afford it if I don't get a job soon.

I mean what do you have to do to damage shit as conjurer?
Cast a spell, wait until it casts, run the risk of it being resisted, rinse and repeat?
And I know you can miss as a melee, I mean, I'm not stupid-- but in the time you cast thunder (yeah the lightning spell is called thunder even though thunder is the sound) and have it resisted you can punch upwards of four times, each of which contain two to three punches, so even if three miss you've still hit nine times.
And the incredible thing is I know several madmen who have conjurer at rank 50.
There are exactly two mage jobs and somehow conjurer is the third best.
I guess thaumaturge stole conjurer's effectiveness because thaumaturge is so awesome it's basically as effective as two jobs.

Seriously, why do I even bother with life? I really just wonder what it would be like if I didn't exist at times. Would my parents be happier? Would my siblings and friends be happier? There would be more food to go around, one less person to take care of.

And the part that slays me is I said I'd take the remaining jobs to rank 20 so that means I have such award winners as conjurer, fisher and marauder to level back to back.
Maybe marauder won't be so bad if I invest in an axe with more than 70 accuracy.
Oh now here's a cut that says "maybe not for the squeamish" and maybe finally something interesting.

My shunt disagrees with Oklahoma's recent weather. Each time a front moves in and brings along the ever-dreaded concoction called snow, I can feel the building pressure in my head, and the busted blood vessels in my eyes and the erratic throb of my heartbeat in my ears are testaments to it. Not to mention that I've had pressure headaches like woah recently. Dislike.

Cool.

All of this constant pressure-relief crap going on with my head has been making me sleep more than I should. It has also caused me to put off all of my homework because I cannot stand to read for long periods of time, even with my reading glasses.

Oh man I wish I had that excuse when I was in college.
"Can't read, head may explode."
Instead it was "this is shit, not reading."
Graduating with honors.

My eyes just ache, and if I concentrate too hard on anything in my field of vision, blood vessels pop. I mean, I can clear that shit up with eye drops, but that effing stings.

I'm sorry did you just say you have a fix but you don't want to use the fix because it stings a little bit?
What are you, six?

Also, even if I suffered the constant abuse of fixing my horribly bloody-looking eyes, I don't think it's good for me to be constantly using eye drops. I'm fairly certain there are warnings against that. D:

Better not check in case this excuse doesn't hold up.

Aside from that, the pressure in my head is causing my neck muscles to retaliate around the shunt tube, tensing and knotting up until I literally cannot bend my neck. Mom had to give me a forty-five minute neck rub the other day just so that I could move my head.

Hey I've offered to rule before and in my rule we'd have vastly superior technology than we do now (including medical technology) it's just most people are way too squeamish to handle the steps we'd have to take to get there.

That is some massive BS. I hate winter, and I hate this shunt, even though it's technically the thing that is keeping me alive.

Because my vast knowledge and apparent precognition includes medicine I'll explain.
I'm guessing she's describing a peritoneovenous shunt which drains peritoneal fluid into the veins.

Regardless, that shunt causes me all sorts of problems, and oh god, when my muscles lock up around the tube, I can feel it slide against them under my skin. I can handle the sensation of nails on a chalkboard with no problem, but this sensation is something else entirely. It's like...

It's like a really long tube in your body.

Well, imagine that someone has a long, thin plastic tube. Now imagine that said plastic tube has been inserted into your skull, just under your scalp; it leaves a large lump on your head, too.

As long as it's used to plug into a neural interface this really doesn't bother me.

Imagine that it runs underneath your scalp, just a few mere inches back behind your temple, winding its way down back behind your ear where it slinks just under the skin of your neck, and think about how it is forced down and wound through your ribcage, and then inserted into your stomach.

OH I'M GOOD.

Now, imagine that if you tilt your head to the left, you feel the tubing under the skin of your neck tighten before releasing enough that you can, in fact, complete that action.

Sounds like faulty bionics to me.

I realize this sounds super melodramatic, but I'm not exaggerating. I pride myself on my tolerance for pain; it is very high. I can put up a front all I want, but when I am alone, I can shake and shiver, bite my lip, and cry while holding a position to get that damned tubing to loosen or contract.

Admittedly I've never had a shunt before but I somehow imagine I'd handle it a lot better than you.

Also, I made a deviantART account earlier this week. I've only uploaded my current favorites from my stock of art, but I have several pictures in the works. Dissidia seems to be my new fandom of choice for the art realm; Onion Knight is a particular favorite, it seems. I think it's because I enjoy drawing his hair. >_>

>_>
<_<
FUCK.

At any rate, if anyone is interested in seeing my doodles, you can look through them here.

Bet they suck~
let's see.
Eeeeeeeeh.
Here's his (her, its, whatever) drawing of Terra Branford of Final Fantasy VI fame.

Same subject from someone with talent.

Incidentally, Terra features in my favorite painting of all time, also by the same artist.

Also, it is one of the few anime series I have ever watched that is not afraid to kill off characters. That is one of the few things that really irks me about a lot of the mecha series I try to watch; everyone miraculously survives horrible ordeals that should take out a normal human.

Apparently you've never seen Gundam.
Which is funny because you said earlier you were a fan.
Oh but you did only mention Gundam Wing and Gundam SEED which are for 14 year old girls.

What's the point of me going off to school when I'm not even sure I will have a home to come back to?

My dad is really sick. My mom is always crying. My sister is as crazy as a loon. My brother barely talks to us anymore.

My foot is asleep.
I'd feel sympathy or whatever but frankly we've had this entry five times now.

I'm just tired of life. I feel like I've reached a dead end. Even with a degree in English Education,

Well that's why you feel hopeless. You majored in English education.
What are you, stupid?

Science Fiction by Women are my favorite classes

Women I know of who write science fiction:
1.
I guess Ursula Le Guin?
So Ursula Le Guin and--
Uhh--

Christmas is about warm feelings and happiness, not anger and angst and retarded-ness.

I'll inform Livejournal immediately.

I've been trying so hard to find gifts that everyone will like, despite my lack of funding. I've been drawing and sketching and coloring to the point where I've gained blisters on my hands at times; I'm fretting over people's reactions to what I'm drawing them, which is inadequate at best for such wonderful people; and no matter how hard I try, I can't coax a single, truly happy smile out of any of my family members.

Sounds like everyone is dying or hideously twisted by the crude bionics we have in 2011 so I'm not sure there's much to be happy about.

I am really tired, and I want to quit reading Puritan literature and visit a dreamland far, far away for just a small while.

God I love Puritan literature. The first and only time in my American Lit class I knew what the fuck was happening.
My extensive history of Warhammer gave me sufficient background for SINNERS IN THE HAND OF AN ANGRY GOD.
Children's literature (seriously).

Why do people even bother to ask for advice--or ask to talk, for that matter--when they are fully aware that what I will say will make them unhappy.

I suppose I am too blunt about certain things, yes,

So while she (he?) goes off about dumb boring bullshit I had the extreme misfortune of watching the new Lady Gaga video yesterday and while it was assuredly bad I couldn't help but notice she dressed exactly like my FFXIV character.
I'm not sure what to do with this information currently besides the obvious "time for an armor upgrade".
I was going to include pictures for comparison's sake but I don't want to admit to watching that video more than once so deal with it.

but I hate when people throw themselves pity parties. I do it at times, too, but then I just want to smack myself upside the head when I realize it. I HATE people that will not do something about their sadness, and I HATE people that ask for advice then plug their ears to what is given.

One thing I know is that Zeus hates two things more than anything: hubris and hypocrisy.
So I think I've put it off long enough. Time to grind some conjurer and upgrade some armor.
Only three more ranks until R20.
Fuck.

The Emperor knows, the Emperor is watching.

Spent the better part of the evening assassinating Guardians in RIFT. Truly, a waste of mankind's potential.
Anyway I think we have some kind of blog here today.
oh great new version of Blogger. So now instead of just having a handy box pop up it grays out my entire window and a different box pops up.
Makes sense to me~
Here's our WB for the day:

What's the worst thing you ever did to a partner during the course of a relationship? Did you ever move beyond it?

Cut her eyes out.

I've punched my boyfriend in the face a few times. I'm not proud of it. Yes, we've moved past it.

Sorry I just stole your thunder with my insanity.

I'm drinking some warm-ish grapefruit juice and it's not tasing so good. Tastes like there's a hint of alcohol in it and that's a disgusting taste to me right now.

... So stop drinking it?

Funny, because I used to drink grapefruit juice and gin a lot.

I have a memory in high school one night before school I mixed lots of gin and some grapefruit juice in a large dasani bottle and I put it in the freezer. I started drinking it on my way to school the next morning. The memory gets a little blurry here because this is not the only time I've been drunk at school and the episodes are getting mixed up.

Yeah I had a kid who claimed he had vodka mixed with his orange juice.
I called him a dumbass.
No actually I just pretended like I didn't hear it because I didn't want to wrest the drink from him and investigate further.
Fine, get drunk at 9 in the morning as a 9th grader.

The drunkest I've ever been at school all happened before lunch time. Was drinking and had a lot of fun in my first class. Then I get drunker during my second class and I'm unable to do work. I put my head down on the desk and idk If I'm sleep or not but I get that feeling in my stomach and jump up and run to the bathroom to puke, of course. I'm told I passed out in the bathroom. I Remember waking up in the nurses office with the school nurse all in my face asking me shit. My best friend and a couple of other people came to visit me in the nurses office. Then my stepmom came to get me and I left early.

Why are you telling me this story? You should be so ashamed of this episode that it goes to the grave.

One of my suite mates is indirectly interfering with my sex life.

She has an issue with my boyfriend being here a lot. She... seems lonely.

Threesome.
Uh-huh.

I mean, she's here a lot with no visitors. I want to get it in with my boyfriend. However when we have sex, it's not exactly quiet lol I'm a screamer lol (tmi?)

Great thanks for th-- WAIT NOW YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT TOO MUCH INFORMATION?
WHAT THE FUCK, LADY?

I'd rather do it when she's gone but she doesn't really leave. I don't want her to hear because I don't want to make her uncomfortable but geez... I guess I should just learn to keep it quiet, huh. lol

Ha-- ugh.

I'm going to ask my dad if Jeremy can come home with me for these few days. I'm sure he will say no because it may make the other people (non-family) in the house feel awkward since we are not married and they have 2 daughters that are young and ah, It's a complicated situation but mostly Jeremy just wouldn't have a place to sleep.

This is one of those rare blogs where I just let the words wash over me in grim satisfaction that the hits will keep on rolling.

The living room would not really work since it is a public area in the house and he can't stay in my room because my dad don't play that. LOL. I am pregnant, daddy.

SEE?
Holy shit, I didn't even read ahead. I just sat back and said "let this one ride" and bam.
Didn't she also imply she was drinking a few posts ago?
What's up, burden on the state?
How's that FAS monstrosity percolating in the alcohol swill you call amniotic fluid doing?

I also want to get some professional pictures taken with Jeremy, while I'm pregnant. I don't have money to spend like that BUT I was looking through that old coupon booklet I got during my McDonald's days and I get get 40% off a 5-pose picture packet. I'm so excited because Jeremy and I have no pictures together and I'm pregnant! I want to document it so I can give pictures to my family and whatnot. But, mostly I just want them for me.

>no money
>babies tend to cost a lot of money
>pissing away what money you do have on sentimentality
I can't believe my solution of taking babies like this and raising them in a monastery setting as elite soldiers was met with universal disgust.
OH WHAT, THE OTHER OPTION IS THIS?
We're always going to need soldiers. War is never going out of style.
My system ensures a new class of warrior for these blurring battle lines. The era of the uniform and the tank is passing us by and yet we cling to a bygone era.

Also... shit, I forgot what I was going to say.

No, I remember. Baby Shower.

Present your male children to the chapter at birth. Some are selected and removed, the rest remain.

I'm typing with one hand cuz the other hand is on my belly cuz the baby is moving! feels like it's thumping around inside, awww.

Sounds like fighting spirit to me.

Ughhh. My Sprint bill is like $300, I'm not trying to pay that. I want to switch to the local phone service (Cricket), it's only $45 a month! But... the phones are so ugly. I don't want to buy a new crappy phone that I don't like. I like my Android with sprint.

I've been reading this new Warhammer book called Sons of Dorn. It's pretty awesome. It's about these three bitter rivals who were all inducted into the Imperial Fists right before they were about to kill each other and how they handle having to be squadmates and enemies at the same time.
I prefer reading about the Imperial Fists and their progeny more than any other legion, I think.
Raven Guard are pretty cool, though.

How would you describe your ideal romantic partner in six words?

I already did it in five words you cunts.

Mature, Understanding, handsome, loving, well-endowed, rich

Well good luck with that, pregnant trash.
I can't even believe this. Try aiming in the stratosphere, Christ all mighty.

So, I'm pregnant.

It's been a while since I posted, lots has happened, obviously. Most important: I found a boyfriend that I love & that loves me. Now I'm 5 weeks pregnant.

Let's rush into something life altering.
I understand they sell these things called contraceptives. A little late now, I understand, but keep it in mind the next time you want to add to the already overburdened welfare system.

I... like drugs. I love them. I'm high on hydrocodone cough syrup right now and I want to take more and more and I want to lay down. I want to get more from the health center but, in addition to getting me high, it's also doing it's job and it's curing me of that god-awful cough. so what am I doing today? I'm gonna head back to the room, take a swig of syrup and sleep until ol dude calls me about smoking some weed. then I'm gonna smoke it, and I'm gonna enjoy it and...

I just want to point out this same person is now four months pregnant.
And it's not like "oh, this was six years ago and now she's grown up" NO THIS WAS FUCKING FIVE MONTHS AGO.

From Dr. Polidori's Lord Ruthven to Stephenie Meyer's Edward Cullen, the annals of vampire lore are filled with attractive, charming bloodsuckers. Which one would you most want to be bitten by?

All of them are sick aberrations begging for the release of death.
Wooo anyway it is bedtime.
Night my good faggots.

A what

Birthday cake. Sounds good? Well settle your ass down.
This cake is a two layer dutch chocolate cake. Still sounds good? Wait for it--
Homemade pineapple glaze and cream cheese frosting.
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Anyway here we go. I found this blog through a baking group in case you couldn't tell.

As I sit here with chicken cooking in the oven (Oh, I know, right? A brilliant idea -- heating up the oven just to cook some chicken when it's currently 106 degrees Farenheit outside!)

Air conditioning? What's that?

Aside from the stress I get from work, I still manage to put myself up to receiving verbal abuse from my ex-boyfriend. To keep the story short, he hurt my feelings again over what I chose to study in college.

Seeing as how I skipped about five paragraphs of you bitching about the deli you work at, I'm guessing you chose not to major in anything marketable. Also why are you taking shit or, I don't know, talking to your ex-boyfriend at all? Is there a hidden meaning in "ex" I wasn't hitherto aware of?

Quite frankly, photography, which he has chosen to learn, is just as hard to work with as traditional art is.

Wait he majored in photography and he's giving you shit?
What a world~

Sorry. Photography takes the same basic principles as traditional art to build oneself some kind of foundation to stand on. Compared to my artwork, I take horrible pictures.

I'm really confused. You're butthurt he made fun of you and then you defend his decision by backing up his major? What's going on here, did I forget how arguing works or am I going crazy? (I seem to be asking that a lot lately).

I feel useless; however, when I walk into my work place.

SEMICOLONS~
Let's take a brief pause and deconstruct these little shits. So you've got a semicolon. What's it look like? Oh my goodness, it's a period stacked on top of a comma! I wonder if that's any indication of what it does?
Well fuck me, can a semicolon be used here? No, it can't. Why's that? Well let's figure it out!
"I feel useless." You can put a period after that, you can, so that must be an independent clause because it's a full motherfucking thought. It's got your subject, your verb and for shits and giggles it even has a direct-fucking-object.
"however, when I walk into my work place" is not an independent clause. I think. I'm not sure; it's not really a coherent thought (see how semicolons work you idiots?) We're about to get into some technical shit now so keep your eyes open.
So we have a preposition. "When". When something, something. So "when she walks into her work place". You now need something else because this is the motherfucking subject of your sentence. The entire thing. "When" is subordinating your clause. If you ditch "when" it becomes "I walk into my workplace" and you have a complete thought again. "When" she walks into her work place, what?
Let's take this into real speech:
"When I walk into my workplace," said the girl.
"... What?" said the other girl.
Holy shit, see how that works?
Let's revise her sentence, this time using only commas.
"I feel useless, however, when I walk into my workplace."
HOLY FUCK ME SUDDENLY A COHERENT THOUGHT OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE MAGIC!

Part of my personality demands I assert my independence and do everything in my power to get things done.

I hate it when people say "assert my independence". What the fuck does that even mean? "No, I'm just doing what I always do," would be my response. Why must you turn everything into some sort of last stand scenario?

Unfortunately, the people that work in the Service Deli were there before me and I am the newcomer. The low-life, the runt, the little up-start.

You're working at a service deli, calm down. You're not upstarting anything.

I must sarcastically apologize to the few customers that walked away from the counter due to my slowness.

You should apologize. I came here to buy some goddamn food and look how fucking long you're taking, then you're going to give me shit about it while I'm just waiting here?

The icing on the cake came around when I got settled at home after work. My father made some coleslaw and that's a food I cannot stand. I have never liked it. If I want bits of cabbage and carrots stuck in my teeth, I would eat a salad.

Well fuck your shit too.
Zoinks, here's a post I must be 18+ to view!
Well, fortunately--
Oh she drew a picture of her fucking someone. You're not very good at this anatomy thing for someone who majored in art. Oh man everyone has a thorax in this situation. Half bug people. This is disturbing me.

I'm a mess right now and I wish I had more time to actually talk about my feelings.

That's your problem. You talk about your feelings too much. Seriously name an emotion I've mentioned in this blog outside of "hate" or "pissed off at your shit"?

This was one of the first charchoal drawings done in the class. I'm always being told to mind my edges, to sharpend them so everything comes out a bit clear-er. Well, I was told all the time in ART101 to "omit the line. You've gotta omit the line!"

YOU GOTTA LEARN TO SPELL would be my advice.
Also this is why you're a bad artist. You don't want clear lines? Tell clear lines to go fuck themselves. If your art teacher (har har) tells you it's important, tell him he's a fucking hack and doesn't know shit about it.
Shit you do need to work on your colors. I've never seen an apple made of metal before.
Less white, more red.

Oftentimes, I log onto LiveJournal and stare at the empty post box, wanting to type out some angsty sob story so I can have some lame person come over and pat me on the back.

Sometimes I have to pause for a minute before I start to muster enough piss.

As I watch further into 花より団子

Whoa, what
Hana yori dango.
Flowers over dumplings--
I don't even know what the fuck

Last night, I finished watching the Japanese drama ぜったいかれし

"Zettai Kareshi" which means something like "Absolute Boyfriend" I'm guessing.
I just don't want her to think there's some language endeavor she's better at than me is all.

• おはよう、みんあ。元気？そうならいいですね～
• これは最初のentryだ。
• よろしく、ね。83

Oh my God.
Nope, not doing this.
Somehow she's even more annoying in Japanese than she is in English. I didn't think that was humanly possible and yet here we are.
Oh shit, that's it. I'm actually done! I read her whole fucking blog, fantastic.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Holy fuck what a whiner.
So let's run through the list first: he watches Asian dramas (soap operas) he enjoys FFXIII, he uses emotes like this: ^.^ and there's probably more I'm just forgetting. I'm not entirely sure, in light of this mounting evidence, that he's even a guy but he did just break up with his girlfriend, so--
I don't know, though, so many girls break up with their girlfriends and whine about it on Livejournal I'm not sure why I take such a huge leap of logic.
I guess my main complaint here is for once I'd like to be clear on something so I can find something specific to pick on instead of just picking on HOW MUCH NOTHING MAKES SENSE.

Aries and Libra love compatibility
There is a powerful initial attraction between these two opposites, for in certain areas each supplies what the other lacks. Both are fond of of sexual pleasures, but the Aries probably will try to go too far too quickly.

Shit, he reads horoscopes. This has to be a broad, right?

Still can't play Persona 3 or 4 for an extended amount of time because it constantly makes me think of her.

Still can't play good games.

Also have a small pang at times when I think about playing FFXIII, also because of her, though I've been slowly losing interest in the game since summer's started :/

No, that's because the game is boring and doesn't make sense for hours at a time.
Also you can tape the analog stick forward and the X button down and beat the game basically without even playing it.

Got out of Pokemon pretty much since I learned that Black and White would be featuring even more Pokemon. 500+ Pokemon is too damn much in my opinion.

This is the only game I've ever seen this complaint used. THERE ARE TOO MANY CHARACTERS IN THIS GAME I HATE IT.
... So don't use the new ones? What, you don't hear people saying "I HATE THIS NEW STREET FIGHTER IT ADDED TWO NEW CHARACTERS!"

I dislike war and don't particularly care for non-fictional war games.

I'm always amazed at people who use this as a reason to not watch war movies or read books about war or play games featuring war. What, everyone playing war games love war? No, most people don't like war it's just an interesting game.
The real reason you don't play games featuring guns is because you're a pussy and would get smoked in an instant.

I'm dully interested in Dragon Quest IX. It sold incredibly well in Japan so I may try it out next month.

Dragon Quest sold well in Japan? That's never happened before.
Seriously that's like saying Madden sold well in the US.
Here we have a poem. Get read for this:

Death, takes.
Words, they break.
Your actions, fake.
Love, away it wastes.

So we have a, what, ABBA (takes and wastes don't rhyme but I'm cutting him a ton of slack) rhyme scheme about-- death, I guess. Death and love.
How original.

Females are so difficult. I'm beginning to wonder why I still bother with them at all.

Icky giiiirls!

I suppose I am annoying and troublesome.

*sigh*


In other news, Jessica still hates me. After two+ years.

女の人はむりだよ。

:|
The Japanese, because this guy is so pro at foreign languages is basically fluent and I can't read it, his grammar is that advanced.
Just kidding it says "females are unreasonable." Pot calls kettle black but okay.

I'll continue to try my hardest not to pursue Esther, and to stop caring about Jessica.

Stupid emotions.

Bitches and whores, man.

To Jessica,

I am still terribly sorry and wish there was some way for me to make it up to you.

Man you are whipped. Bitch even broke up with you and you're still apologizing to her. Fuck her shit.

And last night, I actually had a dream about playing WoW... That doesn't say anything, do it? ^_^;;;;;

I currently have Earl Grey tea in front of me... but no biscuits. This must be remedied later ><

Oh my God dude, come on.
Next thing you know he'll be talking about how he sucked a dick in the bathroom but it's okay because "he was drunk so he's not gay." I seriously expect this to happen any minute. You cannot post like this and be totally hetero.

On a more emotional level, I've been in contact with my ex via email. Main goal with this: First philosophy of the Buddhist Eight-fold Path: Right View.

Seeing reality as it is.

Seeing situations and people as they are and not as I want them to be. I.e., seeing her as a person, an individual and not as an ex, nor as a potential girlfriend.

Ah, pretty sure that's not how it works but whatever.

In other news, I got FFXIII last Friday and am LOVING it. I won't say it's my favourite of the series quite yet (that title still belongs to the tried and true FFIX) but it definitely has my favourite battle system and love-plot *squeel*

:|
Am I the only person who liked Final Fantasy before the central focus were these ham-fisted romance plots? I mean sure romance was usually part of the plot but it wasn't the focus and consequently much more believable and better written.

No seriously, at the end of disc 1, I was flailing my hands and making girly noises >_<;; And Serah is currently my desktop background.

What.

I am looking for my Serah.

Looking for your girl who gets turned into crystal because she was marked by those alien things and then she fulfilled her vision quest and then some idiot who goes to a gun fight with his BARE HANDS (there's a badass) who is, what, her fiance or something tries to dig her out with some junk he found then this girl with really huge boobs shows up and he just walks off with her.
"I'LL PROTECT YOU FOREVER SERAH OR AT LEAST UNTIL SOMEONE BETTER SHOWS UP."
Then we cut back to Lightning whose primary mission in life now seems to be escape the other idiots in her company (a goal to which I could relate: I wanted to escape them, too) but for some reason she lets Hope, the most annoying member of the party hang with her.
Why?
Actually no, this brings up a good point: our boy here kind of reminds me of Hope. Annoying, whiny, cowardly, feminine and needs an older female figure to dominate his life. He's the only character who refuses to fight even though every single character in your party has a good justification for fighting (survival).
No, man, you're not looking for Serah. You're looking for Lightning.
Psychology through Final Fantasy.

Me: Yeah, my favourite Pokemon is Ampharos.

Her: Me too!

Ampharos is dumb. The best Pokemon is Gengar. Anyway I have other shit I'd rather be doing than read about this idiot.

Time to focus~

Holy shit you people are so incredibly boring today I just realized I spent 15 minutes with my eyes unfocused pretending I was reading. That's pretty dire since this is a tactic typically reserved for such classics as "Culturally Relevant Lesson Plans" and "Glas" by Jacques Derrida.
Speaking of that asshole Derrida: I'm glad he fucking died.
Deconstruct that, asshole.
Anyway here we have something-or-other.

I don't have long to say what needs to be said to free myself of anxiety and anger.

You have exactly the time you need.

In fact, I only have ten or so minutes.

So little time, so little to say.

But I hate needing money to stay in a place to write and feel safe and so on.

This does sound like a problem maybe I don't really care to hear about it though-- zzzzz.

I am not even really at that point itself. Instead I feel fearful of losing everything so quickly.

If you were a good writer you could just sell your writings and live like a king~
Oooooor become a hopeless alcoholic like all the good writers.

I love writing so much that I know it will be the death of me. I will follow the words until someone follows me into a darkness as rich as her hair and I will be murdered there.

Yeah I don't know what any of that means but I wrote a really good short story last night I think I'll let it go cheap though~

I really like being able to sit here and type about these thoughts they can't imagine even more.

But if you can type it can't it, by definition, be imagined?

I wish that I could do what Jack Kerouac did and sit there for days and days just writing until I was finsihed with everything I wanted to say and then sleep for awhile.

"finsihed" indeed. What's that old saying? "Art through adversity"?
Hmm.

I am definite that I will start making more videos on Youtube with this sort of place where I am isolated as if it is for videos.

Speaking of I had an awesome Pokemon battle that I'm thinking of uploading.
It had a late game Arcanine sweep and everything.
Aggron head smashes a bitch: it's great.
Hitmonlee takes a Nasty Plot boosted shadow ball from Mismagius only to survive with 13 HP and stone edge for the KO and I think I just ruined the big tweeeest.

But I really need to get somewhere with my writing. There is nothing I can do with the publishers who are looking for money just to read my work

I'm as certain as I can be about a subject on this. You should never pay a publisher to read your shit.
I mean what kind of sense does that make? That's like paying someone for a job or paying someone to hold on to your money. I mean unless this is some kind of vanity press because you're too low talent to consult a real publisher, in which case I don't know what to tell you, dude.

But I don't care, they need to be paid through other means so that the poor writers like me can put there stuff out there to be rejected much easier.

Wow still butthurt about rejections?

I hope I get word from some other publisher sooner or later and I don't know if the earlier I hear from them the better my work must have been or the shittier it must have been since they must have just thrown it out on the first sighting of it.

Hey man at least they bother to reject you. I remember I entered a Warhammer fiction contest and they said they wouldn't write rejection letters but I got one in my email anyway.
At least it said enough one way or another that they thought they had to dissuade me.
That letter, incidentally, read thus:
"Decent but not what we're looking for."
Indeed.

All I know is that I no longer care about the way that I am writing so much and it is all about the entertainment it delivers to me.

Yeah you'll never get published. Keep it as a fun hobby, man.

So, I am alone in my room, in Lockwood. Nothing new is happening besides my inability to sleep coming back with a vengence. Last night there was no way I was going to get any sleep.

No way I was going to sleep what with the demon in the corner of my room glaring at me all night.
No nothing that interesting will ever happen in a blog, sorry.

Now there is to be consequences and Clinton wants an international response to go against North Korea.

According to my clock the date is 6/7/2010, and Clinton hasn't been president for a couple of years.

So if you are reading this, look up some more things about this country's actions globally.

Sorry I'm really busy.

Tell me or everyone else you know without offending them and see what they think and debate or discuss the reality in the manner of spreading the word.

What am I, your secretary? Look your own shit up. Asshole.

I would prefer no more war, no more mindless killing. Because that is what I feel it is.

Oh my fuck you suck at writing.
I always love it when these pseudo-intellectuals say shit like this. I WOULD PREFER NO MORE WAR.
WHO THE FUCK PREFERS MORE WAR?
Outside of weapons dealers and the like NO ONE WANTS WAR.

The last thing I will say is, the world is overfilling, spilling over the brim of its glass.

What does that even mean?

The truth is I can't stop thinking about life, and my placement in it.

Commas do not work that way~

I can't stop dreaming to be the writer I am, in the eye of the world.

Commas still do not work that way~
Also: "I can't stop dreaming to be"? "Dreaming to be"? What kind of verb tense is that?

Sure. I'm lazy. What of it?

Hey man I don't give a shit what you are. You're alive and it's bothering me, fuck.

I am alone. So utterly alone because she loves me, but can't handle me.

I barely know you and I can already tell you are a lot to handle.
Anyway I got shit to do and this is starting to give me a headache.

NOT A WEEABOO GUYS

>not a weeaboo
>has a Pokemon avatar
Sooooo I think we have some catching up to do.
Hold on for just a moment as I adjust my eyes to "zoom" and "color desaturation" just so I can get through this and-- OH FUCK EYES DON'T WORK THAT WAY.

I'm excited, cause I'm good at saving up money and I have like.. $40 in the bank now.. >_>;; when I get over $200 I'mma start buying some lucky deviants subscriptions again! :D

Good at saving money but you sure are not good at spending money.

You know what I hate? It's a website. You know what I hate on this specific website? The users. Why? They're consisted of dumbasses, 10 year old girls, weeabos, and retarded fans of some retarded child-star. ANYWAY, I CANNOT stand when people don't even BOTHER reading the descriptions of Youtube videos. I really hate it. Your answer is right there, your opinion is fucking rude and makes you look stupid.

Oh shit where are your videos? You're easy to troll.

I get really annoyed when people say my singing sucks. I'm really REALLY easily pissed off about that because I'm a GREAT singer, alright?

I WANT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM
NO I AM GOOD AT SINGING I ONLY WANT POSITIVE CRITICISM
All right, whatever.

That's the ONLY FUCKING THING I have self-esteem for! My art sucks, why can't you tell me that? You have to DISS MY SINGING??

>post shit on the internet
>amazed when people comment on the shit you posted for people to see
HMMM.
I CAN SING ASSHOLE.
But if you read the description you would find out that:

OH I DON'T OWN A FUCKING MUSIC STUDIO
I USE CHEAP ASS TECHNOLOGY TO RECORD THE SHIT I DO.
MY MICROPHONE IS $6-7. MY CAMERA ISN'T A GREAT BUY EITHER!

IT IS A POOR SHEPHERD WHO BLAMES HIS FLOCK, APOSTLE. THIS FAILURE IS YOURS AND YOURS ALONE.
Holy shit I love Dawn of War.

ALSO, You would've learned I WAS SICK WHEN I WAS DOING THAT.

Although come to think of it, "it is a poor craftsman who blames his tools, apostle" would have probably been a closer fit for this bint but that's not what was said, so oh well.
Now here's a post where she is "so sick of looking at herself" and the easy solution there would be to stop doing that, but THIS IS LIVEJOURNAL LOGIC HAS NO BUSINESS HERE.

I just can't draw. I haven't been able to draw anything remotely good in ages (Have I ever?)

After looking at your Deviantart account: no. No you have not.
Sorry I just completely unfocused my eyes for about 10 minutes. Uhh-- all I see are words, now.

Oh god thanks for giving me a fucking heartattack computer.

I'm fucking pissed.

I got this blue screen of I don't even know
when trying to turn my computer off

Crashes when rebooting SSSSSOUNDS LIKE VISTA

it doesn't turn off it comes back up after doing some system check and it's all "Oh srs error holy shit" ERGH.

Heh, 15 year old girls and technology.

It could've been that mini power-outage that happened during dinner when that one guy was barbecuing rubber..

Power outages don't cause blue screens but okay, whatever.
Blue screens are software related, typically.
Of course bad RAM can cause more blue screens but whatever we're starting to get technical now.

Vent. I'm sick of online school. I get bitched at every time I'm having a mental breakdown. Pushing me to do something when I'm fucking stressed out as it is DOESN'T FUCKING HELP no matter HOW MUCH YOU REPEAT YOURSELF.

SHE'S STRESSED GUYS.

Religion is.. almost a damn cult if you push it too far.

Heard it here first, folks.

[Feel free to ignore I just feel like venting.]

Okay, will do.
All right so I didn't and I have no fucking idea what she's on about. It seems like her mother got teen pregnant and then the grandmother raised her but it's kind of hard to say for certain with her syntax.
Why do people lie? Why do people butthurt so easily?
Indeed, Mrs. "DON'T-CRITICIZE-MY-SINGING-EVER!".

Haha, when I turn 16 this year I can drop out of school because I think school affects my mental health in a bad way. You know? Too much stress. Don't get me started on that.

Uh-huh.

Also, I can focus more on my career this way.

>career
>no high school diploma
Oh look I found you singing.
You're really good at this singing thing, kid.
BA, HA, HA, HA.

AND FINALLY WE HAD THE INMATES TELL US SHIT ABOUT JAIL AND HOW AWFUL IT IS.. THEN WE HAD QUESTIONS "What did you learn?"

Best day of sociology ever.
Wannabe gangsters talk shit to the inmates, inmate says in prison he'd be a bitch, guy looks really downtrodden.
Awesome.
Anyway I have other things to do than stare at this purple abomination and maybe get a headache, so later fags.

Oh hey what's going on in here

OH SHIT
Anyone know where I can get a skull fossil in Pokemans, incidentally? No one on Earth seems to have one and it's really troublesome because I need a Cranidos for egg moves on Aggron.
It's critical.I'd get one myself but due to the fucked up way they handled Cranidos/Shieldon in Platinum I'm kind of stuck with shitty old Shieldon.
Speaking of giant dinosaurs with ridiculously armored noggins, I defeated Barroth in Monster Hunter, too. It has been a very dinosaur week.

So I have this poem that I wrote about Helen and John. It's basically John's thoughts as he asks Helen to marry him. I've put it up on various sites but I don't think it's specifically on this journal. Anyway, it'll follow.

COULD WE BE SO FORTUNATE? SO FORTUNATE AS TO GET TO READ THIS GREAT POEM?

BUt the improtatnt thing is I submitted it to my school's literary magazine and .....

THEY PUBLISHED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm pretty sure if you submit something it gets published, I don't know.

Angel's Light

Angel's night, Angels bright

Angel bathed in golden light

Never stray far from my sight

Angel show me what is right

>AAAA BBBB CCCC rhyming scheme

This is a review that was just left on the part of my Dragon Series:

Incoming bottomsore.

Okay, the story is fun but I have one problem. Despite TV shows, people do not get shot and then walk around later in the day.

John Wayne disagrees.

If you want the story to be unrealistic, put a comment in your write up that its going to be "cinematic" so people know not to expect any reality. Okay?

Gee sorry for not mentioning a story called "Dragon Series" might be a tad unrealistic.

Seriously? The fact that people are turning into Dragons didn't clue you in that this was going to be less than realistic?

Yeah, fuck you, reviewer. You know you have fucked up when I'm taking a blogger's side on an issue.

Side note: Squee needs to be one of the moods on here.

All right I took your side on one small issue, don't press your luck.

I have realized something about all my favorite couples recently.

Great, don't give a shit. Why are you telling me all this?

God, I'm so mad I'm either going to cry or scream or both. Feel free to skip over this post if you don't want to deal with a whiny college student venting.

Ha, ha, that poem got published in a college literary magazine?
Can't say I'm entirely surprised but goddamn, that's high school shit.

I was so excited for this day because I had a presentation so I wanted to break in my new green corset. I bought this thing months ago and have just been waiting for a chance to wear it. I made my own choker to go with it, put my hair in a high ponytail, added a ribbon, I was feeling great.

English majors.
Incidentally I have seen soooooome shit in my college career. Furries, people dressed like that, people dressed like it's 1700, a guy that always carried an umbrella-- people are strange.
My favorite was the guy that always dressed like Napoleon, though.

I got to my class and got several more compliments. One girl teased me and asked if I could breath.

Breathe*

The only thing that could have made this day any better was if Adam, my crush who is into corsets, had been able to see me.

Uh-huh.
Somehow when you say he's "into corsets" I don't think that applies to the morbidly obese.

I sit down in the car and do not even have my seatbelt on before my mom starts in with teh questions. She wants to know how my presentation went, what grade did I get, have i talked to my advisor yet?

It went well. I don't know my grade yet. No, my adviser is a useless cunt so I'll get around to it.

Remember the corset I told you about? I put up a facebook status about it and promised pictures to my one friend.
I was told by my father that I should not even think about writing such things let alone posting picture of them. Because apparently posting a picture of myself in a corset means I will never in my life get hired. Despite the fact that the only people who can see my Facebook are my friends.

Give me five minutes and I can be into your Facebook.

Now I know my father wants what's best for me and that if someone really wanted to tehy could hack my facebook. But what employer is going to dig that deep?

It's so hard to do I'm sure no one has such employees.

There's nothing like sitting on the lap of a hot, shirtless guy whom you have a crush on. Except when said hot guy asks you to sit on his lap and then does things like play with your hair.

Good lord, it's been a long time. School is winding up so I've been super busy with that. Plus My computer caught a really icky virus and it still hasn't let go yet. Oh, and Word isn't working on there anymore so I have to use school computers to write.

I always wonder about people like this. MY COMPUTER HAS A VIRUS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! Never mind that Googling "my computer has a virus and I don't know what to do" links you to a comprehensive list of instructions to follow and holds your stupid ass hand through the entire process.
It's un-fucking-canny, is what it is.

The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request that I write a drabble of any pairing/character of their choosing.

OH WOW, CAN I BE SO HONORED?
>20 comments for this dreck
>my own blog struggles to get one comment despite AWESOME COMMENTARY FOR YEARS

I had to talk for just two minutes today.

OH FUCK ME TWO MINUTES. You're right, college is totally unreasonable!

And normally that wouldn't be a problem, even with knowing very little information like I did. I talked for about thirty seconds before my nervousness got me and I choked.

Oh shit I have to talk for ten entire minutes Tuesday, what should I do?

I had to pass on the presentation. I really hate public speaking. I hate being the center of attention in general. It really sucks, I have to say.

This is funny in light of your "I wore a corset today and everyone was talking about how cute I looked." If you hate being the center of attention why do you dress like a goddamn freak?

And I don't even have new Criminal MInds or CSI New York episodes to make me feel better. This day could not get worse, it honestly couldn't.

At least you came out with all your digits.
Oh and here's her very first entry. Well congratulations, me: I made it through her entire blog.
Now let us drink~

Who is Justin Bieber

Why do I hear the name "Justin Bieber" everywhere like he's someone I should know? Well you know the routine by now, I should think. It's as Dante said in his Inferno:

Before me was nothing but things eternal,
and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Here must all cowardice be slain.

My friends and I finally got around to launching out website, Primary Ignition. It's pretty much a site full of written reviews and odd stories so far.

Well let me go right to that!

and I have my review of FFXIII up! Check it out! Tell your friends!

What is this "FFXIII"? Last I checked Square Enix was doing something incredibly strange. They went right from 12 to 14 with no 13 in the middle. Maybe it's because it's unlucky?

Having said that, Final Fantasy XIII gave me hope. Like a crack of light glimmering in deep darkness, it is my belief that FFXIII could be a dawn of a new era in the series.

Har, har, har.
All right million words I'm not reading, cut to the chase please--
>rating: 7.5/10
Wow someone is mighty generous.

FFXIII is a step in the right direction.

Endless tunnels and corridors, melodrama at every turn, nonsensical plot, a plot that indeed doesn't unfold unless you read the requisite journal (not good storytelling, SE), a soundtrack that is as uninspired as it is unmemorable, a battle system that outright rewards mashing buttons over any sort of thought process or strategy, a level system so linear and redundant they might as well just give you stat bonuses every level instead of jerking me around pretending like I actually have a say in how I customize my characters--
yeah you're right, this is a step in the right direction. Who needs all that pesky thought and interesting characters and shit when I can send my achievements STRAIGHT TO FACEBOOK YO

It's 2003 all over again. Except I'm uglier and listen to more music.

Funny I said the exact same thing last night, only "I sure do talk to more Koreans on MSN than I did in 2003." Followed briefly by "why do I have so much harspichord music in my iPod?"

I think that it's time I come to terms that my day in the sun is over, and I will never be in another relationship again, no matter how positive of piss poor my attitude is.

Sunny days seemed far away-- woooooo Sunny Day team.

People these days are shallow, and I just don't have the looks anymore to attract any girl that I would want to enter a relationship with.

Oh, oh what's up, blaming the girl for your lack of personality?

Part of the reason I feel this way is because of the fact that I am balding (from the back of the head WAY more so than the front).

Shave head, learn kung fu
get bitches

This may make me sound like an asshole, but I find myself strongly resenting my mother's side of the family because the baldness gene is from there.

Oh so much hair, so much hair how can I possibly comb these glorious locks?

And then it hit me. Again. I'm not cut out for this crap. Not that it matters if I was seriously looking anyway because I am fucking hideous.

Speaking of getting hit again, there's this weird tree outside one of the buildings I have to go to on campus and again today one of its creepy spine fruits fell down and bumped me right on the noggin.
That tree has it out for me.
ONE DAY, TREE THIS DANCE OF OURS WILL END

Don't fucking give me eating and exercise tips. I'm fucking exaggerating because I am frustrated about that right now. If I stick to eating better and cut back drinking like I have been doing, exercising should get me results faster. There, I said something positive. Are you happy?

I hate it when people say THERE, HAPPY? No, actually, I couldn't give a shit.
Exercise or don't, I don't give a fuck. Meanwhile in me world it feels good being slightly underweight and having a FULL HEAD OF FLOWING HAIR~

I figured if I died, seriously injured myself, or any other negative possibility happen I would have got what I deserved. While she wasn't exactly the easiest person to get along with, it's not like I'm a fucking prize either. I would love to change my attitude toward women in relationships, but it's very hard for me to.

Oh let me back up the WAAAAAAAAmbulance.
Here's the secret, brosef: when you think you're being totally awesome and a really nice guy to them you're being slightly less of an asshole than you usually are. It's the way people are hardwired, I dunno. They're programmed to see the flaws in others and ignore their own.
I think it has to do with Adam and Eve's disobedience to God-- no I'm just fucking with you.

Again, not like I even have that problem right now because no woman would want to be with me right now.

Not with that attitude they sure aren't.

Many people have suggested my negative attitude is my problem with meeting women.

Or you can't meet women because of your negative attitude, eh? How about that shit? Reverse that logic and it still stands to reason, so you have a vicious cycle of douchebaggery.
There's another sentence I'd like to quote but I can't actually get all the way through it without my brain running into what I can only assume is the human equivalent of a RAM address error.
Here's his relationship history and I'm sparing you, the reader, the details of this but rest assured I read every goddamn word of it.
Though there is this nugget:

Karma came back to haunt me since she ended up cheating on me while at college. Said it happened because of how I was acting. I wasn't supportive enough.

IT HAPPENED NOT BECAUSE I'M A WHORE WHO CAN'T KEEP HER LEGS CLOSED BUT BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T SUPPORTIVE ENOUGH~
Cool, way to pin the blame. Enjoy your venereal disease.

I should drink myself to death one of these days. I'm talking about in one sitting.

I agree.

The more I think about it, the more I think that I really, really don't want to get into a relationship again.

Hey man, you don't need to keep telling me. All you have to do is convince yourself that you're perfectly happy alone and miserable~

No, I am not pissed off.

I'M NOT CRAZY
I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE

Fuck, I thought I was scared THEN. I was only, what? 20? I will be 28 in 2010.

Zzzzzzz.

I swear to god, we run into a man in a Luigi suit, and some teenage sluts were trying to get our attention. I high five the Luigi, and ignore the girl teenyboppers asking if they could have our alcohol. Fuck them.

This is why you're still alone, man.
Holy shit you made a v-log. New level of personal, this blog. You look and sound exactly as I imagined.
Jesus Christ. Asshole: script. Now.
Also: cool video game audio upstaging your shitty story no one cares about.
What is that, Final Fantasy VII soundtrack?
The least you could do is put some classy shit so you wouldn't look like a complete fucking loser, but ah well.
That's how you get bitches via music, by the way. Show them you're a fan of Al Green so they know you're a smooth motherfucker then whip out the Bach. That's right, complete package. Smooth and classy.
Oh here's your online dating profile--
Ah, you're looking at the camera and smiling.
I read a study recently that suggested men who look away from the camera and don't smile (exact opposite of what you did) averaged 50% more responses than men who did.
SCIENCE!

I am an anomaly. I am not designed or pattered to be in a normal relationship.

OH MY GOD DUDE KNOCK THIS OFF.

The funny thing about love is this: It's like a snake.

Calling up Whitesnake for this awesome new song idea I just got thanks to this.
Well whatever asshole, I have shit to do. I have a script to punch up for Japanese class.
It took years of study and practice to get this funny in English and now I have to do it in a foreign language.
I welcome the challenge?