OH MY FUCK LIVEJOURNAL COME ON MAN

Well they finally redid the Livejournal user interface and needless to say it's fucking shit.
The news post about this says a lot of shit that, to me, basically boils down like this: "WE MADE IT A LOT EASIER TO ORDER SHIT FROM OUR SHOP BUT SCALED THE USABILITY BACK ON EVERYTHING ELSE."Holy shit. You idiots do realize usability isn't a finite resource and you can make everything convenient, right?
Anyway I managed to analyze, adapt and overcome or whatever that series of actions is.
So here we go for our blog today: Love Keiko. I wonder if that's her signing a letter or an imperative sentence. LOVE KEIKO, NOW!
Either way not happening, but we'll see how this goes.

whoever said art school is easy, well screw them. it's HARD and damn expensive.

And won't get me a job in anything. Oh, and if I'm really good at it I don't really need a degree in it in the first place.
... Wait, why am I majoring in art again?

which totally sucks cause in most universities, the arts school gets the lowest end of the budget. but i'm adjusting.

Don't want to hear it from you fags. Litfags, sociologyfags and nursefags all share one building at my university while you art idiots get to stretch out in three cushy buildings.
I mean I guess I can see sociology and literature sharing a building (it's virtually the same thing when you think about it) but at least give the people who are going to be giving people shots and other important shit their own space to think.

met some totally awesome people. which is SO weird how much easier it is to make friends in college than in high school.

Let's see. High school, where you are forced to attend and everyone is raging jackass versus college where it's optional and most people are there by choice. Yeah, real surprising it's easier to make friends in college.

i guess cause here i have a clean slate so it's not like anyone can hold 6th grade drama against me. that's a good thing, ne?

>ne
>her name is Keiko
not sure if I should be angry at this.All right I'm going to cut you some slack here but I'm watching you. Scum.

i feel like shit right now. and here's why:

so i was crossing the street out of a development into another lane (try to picture it). i guess my turn was a little too wide---either way the guy next to me was DEFINATELY speeding and our cars brushed each other. BRUSHED!

No you have it backwards. Your turn wasn't too wide, he was too far into your lane. His fault, don't know what to tell him.

i started waving and apologizing but he started cursing and pulled over so i did too. i apologized and said it was an accident but he started cursing and yelling at me!

Keep driving. Don't look back.

but desperate times called for desperate measure so i started begging him not to call.

Go ahead and call, asshole. All the cops are going to do is confirm you're in the wrong. But go ahead and make a jackass of yourself.Man girls are dumb.

my class was lazy as hell so many are going to community colleges. I SURE AS HELL am getting the hell up out my house (thank GOD!)

>community college
>lazy
Yeah have fun paying thousands to take English 101.

it's amazing how the ppl who were your BFF in middle school---how now you hate their guts--and the ppl you never knew before are now your BFF--and with growing up with so many diff. ppl, how many you really didn't get to know.

... DEEEEEEEP. Putz.

and even THAT isn't enough because i have relatives from nigeria LIVING down here!Relatives from Nigeria.

So this is a black girl I guess?
Weeaboo implies white, so-- WHAT'S THE TERM FOR THIS OH JESUS CHRIST HELP.
Also now I can officially rage at you throwing Japanese words into your English, even though you haven't done it since.
You're a crafty one.

then like very classic ghetto wannabe black girl she got loud with me and i got loud back.

Oh, classy.

i mean, it wasn't even that serious. i wasn't mad because i didn't take it to heart.

Ain't even mad, etc.
Oh, joke's on me: all these posts are from 2007. Fucking new Livejournal, I tell you.
Anyway none of this is important. What is important is check this shit out:You mean I can drink from my official FFXIV cup while playing FFXIV while watching the official FFXIV commentary while reading my official FFXIV map all while my character wears this:I'll take 15!
Also look at that fucking cover, goddamn. They finally got the people who know how to make video games back.
Oh looks like it's coming out on the PC first. Glad I got 4500~ on the benchmark, woooooo--

Decisions

Which blog do I pick? The one with the self-indulgent cunt, or the one with the self-indulgent cunt? At times like this I like to throw my fate to the wind and let dice decide what I do. So, let's say odds is cunt 1 and evens is cunt 2. Cunt two it is.
Perhaps this is for the best because I don't really know what cunt 1 was on about. Some sort of life coach nonsense who even can tell what goes on?
I'm skipping the first entry because it's so incredibly boring and stupid I can't read three words without my eyes crossing.

I belong to the natural living community. One of the topics recently was alternatives to deodorant, which I am always interested in.

My life has been reduced to this. Sitting here on a Monday afternoon reading about people talk about alternatives to deodorant.

One person suggested a vinegar rinse, followed by baking soda.

... Let's see, acid + base =WHAT IS WRONG WITH REGULAR DEODORANT?

I've been meaning to post this for a few weeks, and a conversation I had with Ed yesterday just reminded me.

I'm finally comfortable enough in my own skin to say that I don't believe in Christianity as such. Or as practiced, I suppose.

WOOOOW.

I do believe in something greater than myself, and if you want to call it God, by all means, I'm okay with that.

HEAR THAT, RELIGIOUS PEOPLE OF THE WORLD? SHE'S OKAY WITH THAT.
YOU HAVE HER APPROVAL.

Now, one thing I adore is worship music. I don't know why, but I do. I've been spoiled in that I've gone to churches with amazing choirs. I consider the sermon to be sort of the admission price to be able to hear the music. Now, I DO try to glean what I can out of the service...but I mostly enjoy the music.

It is almost unreal how uninteresting you are.

I think back to my grandfather, and his "walk out if it's not right" message. And sadly, walking out seems to be infinitely easier when you're a teen, and not when you're a grown woman brought up to be pleasing. I couldn't do it. Or, I DIDN'T do it. I let myself down.

Holy shit, what is happening?
Oh, oh that's right. I'm reading a blog to review, apparently.
If there is an afterlife this is what it's like for all eternity. "Oh, oh apparently I'm dead. I'm just kind of sitting here, not really sure what's happening and not really all that interested~"

Rhys and I are on a bland diet. Mostly white rice.

No way. You, bland?

One of my sisters hurt my feelings, and then an uncle hurt hers, so I forgot about my feelings to take care of her. I'll have to come back to that. BUT, it makes me realize that I don't know if facebook is worth it. Too much drama. And viruses.

Viruses on Facebook.
What the fuck.

Yesterday I had to go shopping. I've looked everywhere for kombu, a type of seaweed.

Go to your local Korean market you putz.
Try not to make being white a stigma for the rest of us.

Everywhere except the obvious place, the Asian market that I always forget is here because I can't ever find it. So I say, "Children, we are going to the Asian market, and then the health food store." My children LOVE the health food store. They enjoy the bulk bins.

I don't even know what
What is wrong with these people?

Abbey says, "Mama, why are we going to the Asian market?"

"Because I need kombu."
"But Mama, we aren't Asian!"

It's not like you need a membership. It's America I'm pretty sure you're free to shop wherever you want.

All of the sudden, Abbey starts FREAKING OUT and she is nearly crying.

"What's wrong, Crab?" I ask, as you do in this situation.

"MAMA, THEY'RE SELLING COOKED HANDS HERE!!!"

What?

... It's just ginger you fucking idiot.

She's pointing frantically at the produce. I'm trying to calm her down and figure out what she's talking about. Suddenly, I see.
"Ooooooh. Abbey, that's called ginger root. It's not cooked hands." I am lazy and buy ginger in a jar.

So that's why all three times I've gone to the Korean market I've gotten weird looks. Makes sense now. People before me acting like COMPLETE IDIOTS. Also note the last sentence has no connection to any of the previous thoughts. That's the way it's written, too. There is no editing on my part. Yeah.

Do you give your vehicles names? If so, what are they?

Yeah. I call my car "Brain Wounder" WATCH THE FUCK OUT, PEDESTRIAN.

I am so stressed out right now, I don't want to do anything.

I've entered rage mode since I started reading your blog. I AM MAD AS FUCK, STAND BACK.

This morning the font size on my computer was really tiny. So I asked Shane to come fix it. He came over, looked at it,and said it was a problem with the internet and he couldn't do anything about it.

Christ, dumb leading the stupid. Ctrl+0, idiots.

Whenever something is wrong with me, I like to assume I have the Worst Case Scenario.

Currently I'm pretending I had my inner ear replaced with the shit space marines have in their ears so they don't get dizzy and can't hear white noise.
That explains the splitting pain I get when I sneeze, I'm sure.

The thing about Abbey is, during her language development/learning to speak/important formative years, she lived in Louisiana.

NO EXCUSE.

So Abbey has this...accent, that sometimes makes it hard for friends and family to understand her. Last night she combined her big accent with her bad grammar and incorrect word choice and came out with a sentence that I couldn't get.

YOUR CHILD IS STUPID. SHE IS NOT SPECIAL. SHE IS BELOW AVERAGE.

We were on our way to the movie and she said, "Tomorrow, can you run me a fever and go online? I have a Barbie Pink Party code."

... Favor?

"I'm sorry?"
"Tomorrow, can you run me a fever?"
"What? I don't understand."
"You know, when you do something for someone? I think it's called a fever."
"Oh! DO you a FAVOR! Oh!"

Spend less time sassing off on the internet and more time teaching your children how to speak properly. How is it I've met people who speak English as a second (or third, or even fourth) language and manage better than you idiots?
Well that's it I'm done with this fuck.
Also: happy 300th post to me about 3 posts ago~

It has finally come full circle

What the fuck is LoudTwitter? Well, it's apparently a program that automatically uploads your twats (err, tweets) to Livejournal. Great. Don't have anything to say? Post your bullshit nonsense everywhere!
Twitter is already pretty loud so faced with the idea of an even louder Twitter is pretty embarrassing for everyone involved, actually. Fortunately for everyone reading this, though, I have found the one person who has yet to discover LoudTwitter. Behold: Jack the pussy.
First thing he wants to do is talk about his feelings and I can already see an "all guys with blogs are gay" tag going in the tags.

I've thought about taking a class in filmmaking, but my friends tell me it's not what I'll like. One of them said that he dropped out of one because it didn't go in depth on what makes good film,

If you need to take a class to tell you what makes a good movie I don't think you're looking at a future in film making.
There's this thing-- and after reading Livejournal you might be forgiven for thinking this doesn't exist-- called creativity, and you can use this to make things from your brain reality, and you don't even need a college to tell you what to do.
Sometimes, very rarely, an individual will have what they call "genius" and his or her ideas are especially good or inspired.

One of my guy friends had the nerve to say, "Oh come on, it's not that bad. If dudes had periods we wouldn't be complaining."

I don't know if I had blood pouring out of my dick I might be complaining.
I mean, it has never happened (and I hope it never does) but if it did I'd at least be a little concerned.

"YOU KNOW WHAT MOTHERFUCKER? IF MEN HAD PERIODS THE SUICIDE RATE WOULD SKYROCKET OUT OF YOUR ASSES BECAUSE NONE OF YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT DIPFUCKS

All right settle down, Christ.
Are you sure you're not a girl?

Speaking of mothers mine mentioned to someone in the family, someone who suddenly seems to give a shit about my mom enough to go over her house and talk to her, that I liked girls.

Well I think after reading this we all know she is horrifically mistaken.

Now, I've made no effort to conceal my sexuality from anyone. Be it family or friends. I don't feel I owe anyone a "coming out" speech.

Nor should anyone require one to figure you out. It's like asking if that four-legged animal over there licking his balls is a dog. You just kind of understand what it is intrinsically.

I have inhaled Twilight. I have consumed New Moon. I have absorbed Eclipse. And now, I have tamed the ravenous beast known only as....Breaking Dawn.

All right, bro. You're gay, not a 16 year old girl.

The question is not did you read, but did you convert?

Convert to what, Twilight cult?
I remember back in the good old days when vampires were creepy leeches who needed killing.

Has Dawn really broken? Yes, Dawn broke. Dawn broke so hard that Chuck Norris is somewhere in Texas

Chuck Norris joke avert your gaze!
Whew. Here's how Chuck Norris jokes work, you unfunny cunts: they're like Medusa. Anyone who reads one immediately has their sense of humor turned to stone and they can never laugh at another joke again because the weight of the unfunny, internet meme-generated bullshit will always be there.

The Dream: To become a published Author. How's it looking? With the current trend in the Young Adult market, I feel like my trilogy has no place in it. Despite technically being YA. A lot of my writer friends feel the same way about their stories.

I can't imagine reading an entire book written by you. I'm only three entries into your blog and I almost have a headache already.

Are they YA? Yes. Is it urban fantasy? Yes. Is it in a high school setting? Yes. Is there romance? Yes. Is it between a really really super hot guy and a beautiful but plain girl who's the quiet outcast? Um...no.

And therein lies the rub.

Remember when books could be about things and when you read them you didn't want to die?
I miss that.
Oh apparently this is a girl. She's a lesbian.
Jack the lesbian.
Man the internet is hard to figure out.
Well I guess all guys with blogs aren't gay when they're actually women.

I would like to take a moment to talk about a writer's constant companion: The Muse.

Oh fuck me.

Every writer has a muse, they have one form or another.

Oh is that right?

Each are unique to different people.

How the fuck is it Homer, Virgil, Dante, John Milton and Dan Brown all invoke the same muse and yet all of you assholes need your own muse now?

They're the only employee we have that will work when they want to, constantly argue about which story to write first, and will frequently walk off the job when we really need them the most.

Most of the writers I just mentioned considered themselves employees of the muse, no the other way around.
I think if I were to read what they said in a psychoanalytic way I might say they understood their idea was unusual and it was probably the best one they had in them so they better spend it wisely and not be a raving jackass on Livejournal about it.
Just a thought for you twits.

My Muse, takes the form of some kind of Meerkat/Mutated Rabbit. I don't know, he came to me when I was 14, and he hasn't left me alone since. His name is Buddy.

What.

This is a typical work day for us.....


"I need you to start working over time, it's NaNo month."

"No."

"Fine! Then I'll find someone else!"

"Oh really? You're gonna find someone who'll put up with your shitty writing, overuse of verbs, and bad characterization?

She's hearing voices.

BY THE WAY GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND SOME THIRD-WORLD ILLITERATE RETARD WILLING TO READ THAT BOWEL-SYNDROME YOU CALL A MANUSCRIPT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!"

*cries*

So, my fellow writers, what are your Muses like?

Well here's how it typically goes for me and writing:
"hey there's an idea, I'm going to use that!"
There it is.
Sometimes after a lot of thought here's what will happen, though:
"maybe this isn't so good after all. I'll try something else."
Wiiiiild.
Anyway Jacquelin I'm starting to get fucking pissed at your blog so I'm going to go do something else now.
You take care.