Very nearly very nice

I had another entry almost completely done but I keep losing interest in it and it has been like this off and on for about seven hours. If I were an average idiot blogger I'd post it, but I think my inability to finish it is my brain telling me something about it, so I'll just keep it to myself.
SEE, IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD, OTHER PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET?
Speaking of people with no content filter: "yr nasty"
It's basically what you'd expect.

I wish the thought of having sex with someone didn't make me want to puke.

Which is oddly appropriate because I'm fairly certain no one can think of having sex with you without wanting to puke, so the feeling is mutual.

I also wish I didn't want to kiss this boy so much. Don't you just ever want to kiss someone with every fiber of your being.

No I can't say that I do.

Kiss someone for so long it seems like days, till both of our lips are chapped. With someone who doesn't try to stick his hands in my pants.

Oh well now I definitely know the answer to that question is no.

Do straight up make out sessions even happen anymore? Or am I the only one who longs for kissing the way most people want sex? Sex is dumb and uncomfortable and I'm pretty sure I wont change my mind until it's with the perfect guy.

I've taken up sketching while I do these updates. I figure it's more constructive than playing Pokemon or FFXI, because for some reason "Edie Finds a Corpse" time tends to turn into "FFXI time".
I guess I could just power through it but quite frankly even my superhuman metabolism couldn't handle that much raw bullshit.

I'm really not a fan of casual dating. I don't think it's meant for the socially akward. Any time I've ever been on a date I end up talking about how awesome my grandmother is or how much time I spend with my dogs and the funny names I give them. I never seem to be able to make it to the second date.

So winning personality so far, I wonder why she can't get a date?

On a different note, I'm doing a detox. I've always been overweight but I'm getting rediculously fat.

Oh, what's up, complete package?

god damnit i am so stupid.
i am not in love with every boy i see why is my brain telling me that.

I HAVE A GAT DAMN CRUSH ON EVERYONE WHO TALKS TO ME.

Must be tough having such-- I'm pretty good at this sketching thing, actually.
I don't know what your problem is, Deviantardlets.

FIRST THINGS FIRST
I'm dressing as beyonce for holloween.

That's appropriate because Beyonce does have a fat ass.
Although I suspect you're just fat.
Also Beyonce is a model. I'm sure you're nowhere close to model material.
So...
Not really sure what my point was, come to think of it.

onto more sexy things.

sexier things than a fat girl in skimpy clothing?

two boys with the same name want to date me.
BUT, I have a crush on a blonde boy. Which is wierd because I normally am not attracted to blondes.

Sounds like a zany sitcom if I've ever heard one!

I really am acting like such a fucking chick lately. It's lame but it's also kind of fun.
boysboysboysboysboysboysboysboysboys
BOYS.
I want to go dress shopping, I need more dresses.
Something to accentuate my flawless rack.

Oh that's not the picture I wanted. Actually it can stay because it's the most awesome thing to come from this entry today, I suspect.

I miss having a libido.....

Miss having libido? By my advanced statistical analysis, five out of six (or 83.333333333333333333333333333333333repeating percent) of your posts are directly related to sexual activities.

sometimes i just really wanna kiss boys.

This summer has been life changing, just not in the way I wanted it to be.
I feel like I've gone against everything I believe in like I'm somehow less of a person.
I recently (actually a month ago to this day) had sex for the first time.

sugoi monogatari, aneki.
(translator's note: "sugoi monogatari, aneki" means "cool story, sis" in Japanese)
Christ it's 20 entries later and this bitch still isn't done eating cock (and Twinkies)

i read all your discustingly disgustingly bittersweet romantic blogs and i I pretend that i'm I'm the girl your you're writing about.

....
lol

Glad to be of service.

when i get to england im going to be a kareoke bar godess.

I was going to correct you on "karaoke" but you're barely literate in English, so forget it.

tonight im going to drink coolers and be girly as fuck.
i found a boy who will listen to bad 90's music with me.
we're going to get married.

Hey listening to bad music is one of my major hobbies.
No way I'd do it with you, though. I only listen to bad music with people who have character.
Sorry~
And there's a picture of you.
Good grief are you obese. I'm going to be especially generous and even pretend the camera adds 20 pounds.
You weren't kidding earlier. There's no way you can brush this off as "I gained a little weight I need to lose it~ <3". You didn't just gain that weight. It has been a project between you and Chester Cheetah for a while.
Ugh that's it. I'm so bored with her nonsense now my eyes are getting all blurry from the yawning.

Uh-huh

Click image to go to blog.

My entire life I have been looking for love in all the wrong places. I have just about done anything and everything to just feel love from somone, anyone.

Oh look it's this shit again.
I'm not trying to find the same shit over and over, too. This is literally the first blog I clicked on again.
The only conclusion I can come to is that there is a sentient AI within the internet planting all of these blogs to fuck with me specifically.
Either that or people really are that similar and douchey.

I have used my body, my natural sweetness, my money, my time, my faith, my sexual skills...just anything I had, and when I didn't have it I would create it somehow.

Great. Mind if I multitask while you try to justify yourself to yourself?
I'd be the worst shrink ever, holy shit. YEAH YOUR PROBLEMS ARE SHIT BUT MEANWHILE I'M HAVING A HELL OF A TIME WITH MY GAMEBOY, HERE.

I looked for love in boys as a teen, men as an adult and even women.

Woo what a sexual dynamo she i-- holy shit, sorry. Huge yawn.

I married a man that in the beginning gave me love, who made me feel special and who I thought would protect me. However, he didn't do anything of those things shortly after we were married and so I began committing a adultrey to find it.

Super cool story.

Chris, Tom, Jesse, Kern....

Yep, yep-- wait, Kern? Is that a name?
Kern. Sounds like a truck driver.
Oh fuck I just clicked on my other tab (which happened to be school work) and I was assaulted by different, yet similar douchebaggery. It's an assault on all sides!
Holy shit. Emerson on my left, "Kat's Life" on my right.

I struggle so hard, I fight myself and my thoughts and I fail misrabley at it. I am not good at this being Christian thing. I love Jesus, I really really do and I WANT to please him.

Wow that was an unexpected turn.
I don't know what I mean by "unexpected" because quite frankly 90% of all blogs end with something like that, but given the build up-- I don't know.

I want to honor him, I want to be a Godly Woman but it just seems like no matter how hard I try, I still end up failing in my attempts. I just don't know what to do anymore, mistake after mistake. Making more mistakes even now and I haven't even dealt with the consequences of the previous mistake fully yet.

Of course this runs contrary to the Christian message, which teaches that all have fallen short of the glory of God. That's kind of where the whole "accepting Jesus and repenting" bit comes in. Special emphasis on "repent" in this case, which at its root means to "turn away". Effectively "turning away" from your sins. The assumption is that you won't stop sinning, because Christfags have that so figured out you basically can't be human and not sin (literally, you've sinned the second you're born simply by the virtue that you popped out of your mother's vag).

I just don't know how to become who God wants me to be when I have damaged myself so badly. Will God still accept such a damaged heart? Will God forgive me for damaging my own heart?

Yeah all that shit I just said.
Holy shit how is it I know more about Christfagging than you and I don't even believe in this bullshit?

The sun rises and the sun sets, the wind blows, and the seasons change and I awake and I return to sleep. Its just the motions of this life, this empty life with Kern.

But I thought Kern was THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.

R and I were talking this morning and I realized that Kern gave me everything I have ever wanted out of a man. HE filled and met every need I had, he naturally just met my needs. His love for me even if it was fake, was real to me it MEANT something to me.

Me me me me me~

I have gone through the last six months feeling so empty, so alone, so sad. I feel like I will never be able to love again, I will never be able to trust again. Kern has changed me as a peson from the inside out, he has made me loose all hope and trust in so many things.

I accidentally loosed once. Hurts the bowels.

When Kern left, he took with him so much of myself. He broke my ability to believe in so many things such as unconditional love. It makes me sad not because he couldn't love me uncondtionally as he said he did, but that it was because of him I had begun to truly exprience God's unconditional love.

>I can't believe in unconditional love
>I believe in unconditional love
You really have no idea what you're writing, do you?

It just seems like all I ever have are words, lots of words that get written into the world of cyberspace, they go out and just get lost.

Yeah it sure does seem that way. Imagine my luck. All this vast desert that is the internet and I had to find the one patch that was concealing the dog turd of a blog that is "Kat's Life". What can I say?

Sometimes when the pain seems so deep. When it feels like it will never ever go away.

These are not fucking sentences but okay, I'll go with it. You are very clearly mentally deranged, so I'm cutting you some slack on your rather dubious grasp of how English works.

Sometimes the loss of something so important, so vital to your hapiness and living comes crashing down on you like a Tsnamui.

Like a tsnamui.

For the first time in all the weeks I've been getting sonograms....I saw only my precious child, my beautiful perfect son who was sent to me by God.

Wait shut up a good song just came on.
Fuck yes, that piano followed by that guitar riff.
Roger Hodgson, you are the motherfucker.
That's what I'd say right now if I were reviewing his blog instead of this.

Have you ever cut so deeply you needed 28 stiches but not even that pain seems to come close to the pain you feel inside everyday every moment you breathe?

No but I did step on a roofing nail once. That hurt a lot.

I don't ever cuss and I don't ever hate but I am going to today... KERN DAVID KIMBLETON IS THE MOST HORRIBLE MAN ON THIS PLANET!!!!!!!
I hate him, I simply hate him with every fiber of my being. I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM!!!!!
That man has hurt me more deeply then any other man in my life, he hurt me more then than my rapist!

Sorry you're spilling your guts out or whatever and I'm fixing your grammar. I know there's more wrong with this than that one part but that one part was bothering me especially. What are you on about, woman?

I am going to keep on going as I am and face the pain of loosing Kern each day.

Christ I thought he was an asshole.
You know what your problem is?
You're stone cold, batsqueak nuts.
You're so nuts I wish Barbara Stanwyck was still alive just so she could slap some sense into you. (obscure reference)
In fact, you're so nuts I'm left with only one thing to say to you:

Ha ha

It's one of those days, man. Everyone on Livejournal is just extra boring and DICK is happening. I found a blog, I guess, but before I begin I want bellatragedia (that's quite the name) to know that under normal circumstances her blog would be passed right over. That's pretty bad, Bella. When I'm looking for a bad blog your blog is rejected for being too bad. That's a feat.

I now work at Cuban Crafter Cigar Shop at the register. I actually rather like my job; I can sit where I could not at my last job; I can read and write in peace without being annoyed or harassed by anyone, so long as its downtime; I can smoke freely; I am a perfect little goddess there, surrounded constantly by men who all find me stunning.

Yeah right.
Perfect little goddess of... Fat?
I'm not very good at the joke construction today.

I stayed the hell away from males for a while, using them only to cruelly [sic] amuse myself more or less and then I found someone for whom I have no words. We fit.

Oh look, it's this shit again. Further, I'm not sure why "cruelly" got a [sic], because (for once) it's spelled and used correctly.
Sure it's not exactly a modern definition of cruel, but it works.
Also, people, time to check your definition of "a while". In light of what she has just said (in a post made January 25th) how long do you think it'll be since she broke up with her last boyfriend?
Well it's hard to say what transpired between December 3rd and January 25th, but she was still with her previous idiot on the 3rd of December, so apparently "a while" is "less than a month" in relationship terminology.

How can I expect you to be better than what you are if you're nothing to begin with and have no desire to raise yourself up from your ridiculous ignorance?

Oh please.
That's an awesome excuse, by the way. MY RELATIONSHIP FAILED BUT THAT'S OKAY I'M TOO AWESOME FOR RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!! (!!!)

The other day, as I catalogued, was one of the most morbidly miserable days I can remember, but as is the nature of my life things did indeed change dramatically.

Let's diagram this sentence.
On second thought let's not.

But there is a reason they call me Shivzik. I went home and stayed home for two days with the Mister Robert Capone. Needless to say he is mine and I am am one step closer to attaining that name.
But in all honesty I am going to fall for that man hard.

Ten days later he's an idiot and doesn't appreciate her. I guess Bella's favor is fickle.
That's what I really do not understand about these bints. They go from I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE WE GET MARRIED :3 to FUCK MEN GODDAMN THAT GUY WAS A HUGE FUCKING PRICK in less than ten days.
As I understand it, if you sit back and properly gauge the situation you can probably tell this shit before even having sex with someone.
I know that's hard to imagine, but it's true.

Robert treats me wonderfully and for once I don't feel like I need to worry about his motives; I took bars and basically passed out the moment my head hit the pillow. When I arose this morning, there he is in bed beside me, not have distrubed me once.

You guess. It sounds like you blacked out, so you really don't know what happened.

I was paid more attention this weekend than just about any other weekend of my life and for once I saw it. I seriously caught so many glances made at me both meant for seeing and for not. Jason was twice if not thrice as cheeky and honestly made cracks just to get me to look at him and smile, which I did of course.

And from here on in it gets really bad.

Ever ready. Ever loyal. Ever strengthened. I am a warrior.

Yeah probably a shitty sword warrior because "that's what SE gives warriors at the start and if they intended for warriors to use axes they'd start with one."
Or my personal favorite "I'm going to be a paladin so I'm getting practice in now" because leveling a weapon from 1-50 is so scary difficult and can't possibly be soloed in half an hour.

I know this even though I am not suffering but I know that regardless of how a day goes, everyone is in a battle. The day could seem the most perfect and idyllic of days, but we all must fight for our lives. I don't see this to be rough, pessimistic or negative in any light; such is life for humanity and the faster one realizes it the better off they will be, if not in the world at least with themselves.

I love these little paragraphs that are these bizarre "deep" thoughts about life. It reminds me of an opium-induced aside written by someone in my American Romanticism class (fuck American Romanticism).

Are you male or female:
Girl

Describe yourself:
Her Majesty

I think I had a point to make in quoting this but I can't honestly remember what I was going to say because it's just so incredibly douchey I can barely wrap my mind around how awe-inspiringly bad this is.

I wish to inform all you fellow readers, and random motherfuckers who end up on this page because you're nosy, that I, Anezka, will be sticking with Erik,
for better or worse, forever and ever.


I came to this epiphany sometime after I lost count of how many orgasms I was having in our two hour session after number... 15?

Ho ho ho oh no.
Wait, I have the perfect reaction image for this:
That's the topper, incidentally. Nothing is getting worse than "fat girl having 15 orgasms (oh God the smell)" so I'm just going to duck out here and gouge my eyes out like our boy Oedipus, here.