Very nearly very nice

I had another entry almost completely done but I keep losing interest in it and it has been like this off and on for about seven hours. If I were an average idiot blogger I'd post it, but I think my inability to finish it is my brain telling me something about it, so I'll just keep it to myself.
SEE, IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD, OTHER PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET?
Speaking of people with no content filter: "yr nasty"
It's basically what you'd expect.

I wish the thought of having sex with someone didn't make me want to puke.

Which is oddly appropriate because I'm fairly certain no one can think of having sex with you without wanting to puke, so the feeling is mutual.

I also wish I didn't want to kiss this boy so much. Don't you just ever want to kiss someone with every fiber of your being.

No I can't say that I do.

Kiss someone for so long it seems like days, till both of our lips are chapped. With someone who doesn't try to stick his hands in my pants.

Oh well now I definitely know the answer to that question is no.

Do straight up make out sessions even happen anymore? Or am I the only one who longs for kissing the way most people want sex? Sex is dumb and uncomfortable and I'm pretty sure I wont change my mind until it's with the perfect guy.

I've taken up sketching while I do these updates. I figure it's more constructive than playing Pokemon or FFXI, because for some reason "Edie Finds a Corpse" time tends to turn into "FFXI time".
I guess I could just power through it but quite frankly even my superhuman metabolism couldn't handle that much raw bullshit.

I'm really not a fan of casual dating. I don't think it's meant for the socially akward. Any time I've ever been on a date I end up talking about how awesome my grandmother is or how much time I spend with my dogs and the funny names I give them. I never seem to be able to make it to the second date.

So winning personality so far, I wonder why she can't get a date?

On a different note, I'm doing a detox. I've always been overweight but I'm getting rediculously fat.

Oh, what's up, complete package?

god damnit i am so stupid.
i am not in love with every boy i see why is my brain telling me that.

I HAVE A GAT DAMN CRUSH ON EVERYONE WHO TALKS TO ME.

Must be tough having such-- I'm pretty good at this sketching thing, actually.
I don't know what your problem is, Deviantardlets.

FIRST THINGS FIRST
I'm dressing as beyonce for holloween.

That's appropriate because Beyonce does have a fat ass.
Although I suspect you're just fat.
Also Beyonce is a model. I'm sure you're nowhere close to model material.
So...
Not really sure what my point was, come to think of it.

onto more sexy things.

sexier things than a fat girl in skimpy clothing?

two boys with the same name want to date me.
BUT, I have a crush on a blonde boy. Which is wierd because I normally am not attracted to blondes.

Sounds like a zany sitcom if I've ever heard one!

I really am acting like such a fucking chick lately. It's lame but it's also kind of fun.
boysboysboysboysboysboysboysboysboys
BOYS.
I want to go dress shopping, I need more dresses.
Something to accentuate my flawless rack.

Oh that's not the picture I wanted. Actually it can stay because it's the most awesome thing to come from this entry today, I suspect.

I miss having a libido.....

Miss having libido? By my advanced statistical analysis, five out of six (or 83.333333333333333333333333333333333repeating percent) of your posts are directly related to sexual activities.

sometimes i just really wanna kiss boys.

This summer has been life changing, just not in the way I wanted it to be.
I feel like I've gone against everything I believe in like I'm somehow less of a person.
I recently (actually a month ago to this day) had sex for the first time.

sugoi monogatari, aneki.
(translator's note: "sugoi monogatari, aneki" means "cool story, sis" in Japanese)
Christ it's 20 entries later and this bitch still isn't done eating cock (and Twinkies)

i read all your discustingly disgustingly bittersweet romantic blogs and i I pretend that i'm I'm the girl your you're writing about.

....
lol

Glad to be of service.

when i get to england im going to be a kareoke bar godess.

I was going to correct you on "karaoke" but you're barely literate in English, so forget it.

tonight im going to drink coolers and be girly as fuck.
i found a boy who will listen to bad 90's music with me.
we're going to get married.

Hey listening to bad music is one of my major hobbies.
No way I'd do it with you, though. I only listen to bad music with people who have character.
Sorry~
And there's a picture of you.
Good grief are you obese. I'm going to be especially generous and even pretend the camera adds 20 pounds.
You weren't kidding earlier. There's no way you can brush this off as "I gained a little weight I need to lose it~ <3". You didn't just gain that weight. It has been a project between you and Chester Cheetah for a while.
Ugh that's it. I'm so bored with her nonsense now my eyes are getting all blurry from the yawning.

Don't tease the octopus, kids

Yeah baby, samurai level 27 to 30, warrior level 36 to 39 (!), dark knight level 1 to 10, dragoon level 4 to 10. This weekend was a very productive weekend in every category that matters.
Oh right, the real world. Well, unsurprisingly, there's still douchebaggery afoot. I confirmed this the moment I stepped into class today. Here we have Mistressdeath (groan).
First thing you'll likely notice about this blog is that it's crazy randum xD, the highest form of humor, at least according to Socrates. Plato. Whoever.

Brian: If there are any rewrites of the KJV it should be like The Bible and Ninjas, like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
me: YES! Really, Vampire Jesus sort of makes sense. Rising from the dead, all that. And now they can make a film version where he sparkles.
Brian: Well that's what's so special about Jesus, he's both a zombie and a vampire.
me: I wonder if he ate Judas' brains. That would be a sweet plot twist for the movie version.
Brian: bible REMIX
me: ::record scratching sounds::

So randum xD

I am concerned because I put my last name in a friends-only post, and obviously I don't want that post to become public. Smart people of the internets, I humbly request your help.

Yeah someone is totally e-stalking you.
Ha, ha people treating the internet like it's real life. Don't post your last name on the internet, people, come on.

In fact, I think the more integrated minorities (sexual or otherwise) are into the world at large, the more everybody else is forced to see real people instead of stereotypes.

Oh hi class I thought I just left (went home to get away from, in fact) I see we're still having this conversation.
Yeah apparently people look and think differently than I do.

It's pretty sad that one of the few places in the suburbs that facilitated that is now discriminating against a segment of its patrons.


Now, back to the previously-scheduled program: trying not to puke my guts out all over the place.

Whatevs.

During a convoluted discussion about BJ Novak from "The Office," Jon decided that my new nickname is "Hand Job." I don't think he's really thought this through. Giving your wife a nickname like "Hand Job" sends a certain message to the world, one that maybe he doesn't want to send. Hmm. Maybe I should nickname him "Donkey Punch."

Your nickname is really the measure of your worth as a person. While you have nicknames like "Hand job" and ""cumdumpster" or whatever, people like Frank Nitti have nicknames like "The Enforcer", the title of a fine Clint Eastwood movie.
I know Frank Nitti was dead before Clint Eastwood ever made a movie, but it still gives me pause for thought.

The camera and the computer finally decided to work together and allow me to upload images.

Computers are sentient and this is how it works.

For our cotton anniversary, I had these shirts made into a quilt.

Excuse me?

Even though two years of marriage doesn't sound like very long,

No there is no "even though". Two years isn't that long.

it's still a milestone. The fact that two people as stubborn as we are haven't killed or maimed each other by this point attests to our deep and abiding love.

I predict a long, healthy marriage.

On a day like today, when the temperature is more or less perfect for enjoying a cool breeze off the lake, there's no good reason to be inside anyways.

ANYWAYS
ANYWAYS
ANYWAYS GUYS
ANYWAYS
Also, au contraire, there's never a good reason to be outdoors.

Jon was able to meet me for lunch today at Nine Muses, before I went to the museum, and we ate quickly enough that we had time to walk in the park by Old St. Pat's.

The name of a pretentious restaurant where pretentious people eat.
Still though, correct. There are only nine muses.
FINAL JEOPARDY NAME ALL OF THEM GO GO GO

We held hands on the path while I crunched mustard seeds that were stuck in my teeth and he told me about patching servers, and while I don't really know what that is, I was happy to listen.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, GUYS. Look it up, son of a fuck.
Now there's a post about having wisdom teeth out. Heh, enjoy that, primitives. I get to keep mine.

Hello, people who talk about "The Mexicans."

I have news.

You know "the Mexicans" you talk about all the time? As if they're all going to connect together like Transformers and form one Giant Mexican?

I'm detecting butthurt.
Also before you proceed: in my world, any comparison to Transformers, no matter how obtuse or supposedly negative, is a compliment.
Proceed.
Oh, unless, of course, it's in reference to Michael Bay.
Proceed.

Go look at a map of Mexico. No, really. Go look.

O--okay, what am I doing, exactly?
I know this doesn't actually apply to me because frankly I could give a shit about Mexicans or any other sort of immigrant, but I'm piqued.

Do you see how big Mexico is? I know you like to think the USA is OMG BIGGEST COUNTRY EVAR!!1!

>EVAR!!1!
:|
Also: the US is a lot bigger than Mexico, so I'm not really seeing your point.

because bigger always equals better. Mexico is really big, though.

According to that fountain of knowledge that is Wikipedia, Mexico isn't even in the top ten largest countries (by land mass) but do continue. I'm riveted. (that's definitely sarcasm in case you couldn't tell)

Take a few moments to find, on the map, the cities Oaxaca, Cozumel, Juarez, and La Paz. You'll notice that these places aren't very close to one another. Yet, they are all full of...Mexicans!

Okay. Not getting too technical, are you?

If you are one of those people who bristle at being lumped in with New Yorkers, LA residents, or Southerners when you say that you're American, you should understand this.

I'm okay with this. Except Texans. They don't count.

I therefore do not want to hear you loitering around campus and talking about "the Mexicans." You know, some of them are even actually Americans, as in, they were born here and may speak English as a first language. Brown does not equal foreign.

Christ can I not get away from Foundations of Education today? Apparently not.

Coming soon in this series: No, That Romanian Woman Is Not Polish.

Wow you're giving people a lot of credit if you think anyone knows the critical differences between Romanian and Polish.

When we moved in, we noticed right away the loud calling of two Cooper's Hawks. They're not usually very vocal, so it wa

Holy shit I saw a hawk swoop down and grab a rabbit today while I was driving. Sorry to interrupt your really boring story with something totally awesome, do continue. Man, I saw all sorts of shit today. I saw a real transvestite, too. Always an adventure.

s no surprise that they turned out to be nesting in a nearby tree.

Yeah whatever.
Man speaking of hawks, is anyone else fucking pumped for Assassin's Creed 2? I cannot wait. November 17, wooooooooooo--
I know the symbolism in Assassin's Creed figured more around eagles than hawks, but still same shit. Birds of prey.

We haven't been able to buy Mario Karts for Wii since the stores seem to know we're coming and hide all their copies. We rented it instead, and quickly I'm learning some things.

1)I'm still not very good at this game.

girlsplayingvideogames.jpg
Now there's a video of what I thought was some woman attempting to perfect robotic leg movement but it turns out to be just some sort of furfag contraption. This is why we'll never have Gundams in real life, people.
All right that's it I have to study for some really douchey test.