Fanfiction and Fat Fucks

Fanfiction is 18 levels of disturbing I don't even want to get into. Why are all these women writing violent sex fanfics? Sounds like you all need a sound fucking to me. That's the only rational excuse for this bullshit I can come up with.
Of course, woman writing violent domination and humiliation fanfiction starring two men.
King Arthur and Merlin, naturally.
I mean can you think of any two better candidates for this treatment than the King of the Bretons and the wily mage?
I certainly can't.
I suspect this has less to do with ancient Breton mythology and more to do with there's a TV show about it.
Also this layout, despite being incredibly douchey, is definitely readable.
So there's that, I suppose.

What other foreign languages do you know? Which one(s) do you want to learn?

The amount of honesty to this question surprised me. I was expecting three major answers: Russian shit no one can read, LOL JAPANESE ^_^ and the snooty faggot "French and Italian because I'm high class" and yet most people were willing to admit they barely passed high school Spanish.

American English, Japanese, Spanish, & Mandarin Chinese. Enough Latin, Italian, Korean, Egyptian and Modern Arabic to get around, and can read French, and Portuguese.

I'm trying on the German, I really am!

And then we come to this answer.
There's a part of me, and it's a large part, that's calling bullshit on this. You've managed to learn Japanese, Mandarin to fluency (apparently) and "enough to get around" of Arabic and Korean and yet you're struggling with German?
I'm not buying it.
Also, take me to the part of the world where you need Latin to get around.

Hey everyone.

I want to let everyone know I am doing fine. I am recovering. : ) Thank you all for your kind wishes.

Awwww what happened to my special buttercup?

I been able to write a few paragraphs, and draw a little, but nothing too big.

But, I do seem to be able to make small minor art at the moment, which means i can do shit, which means im a little happier and can get my mind off the funeral sunday. Maybe I can get back to full writing and drawing mode soon. How odd...

So, shimeji merlin it is then.

Must be something major to tame this amount of creativity!
Oh, funeral.
Somehow you've made the death of another about you.
Unsurprising but still.

hey everyone.

One of my good friends just recently died, so I'm putting this up while I'm still lucid and too numb. I wont be able to update anything for an unknown amount of time.

Should I post this on my main wip fills on kinkme as well?

My friend died
Should I post to Kinkme?
"Only you can answer that" would be my response.
What-- how do these thoughts even become related in your mind?
Friend died--
What is Kinkme?
I can guess but let's find out.
Seller of fine adult toys-- ah, an account she has for fanfiction of the kinky nature.
THIS EXISTS.
And here's some fanfiction.

Warnings: noncon, dubcon, bonds.

Uhhh--
Have you ever seen that episode of Spongebob where he has to go to the bathroom and the only labels on the door are a question mark and an upside down question mark and he's not sure which to use so he waits until someone goes in and it's just a series of sea monsters coming in and out?
I suddenly know how he feels.
There are warnings but I have no way of heeding them. This reminds me of my bottles of paint that are entirely in Spanish but then quite emphatically there's a skull, an exclamation point and a stick figure man on fire.
Oh boy.

Summary: Now, she is the only thing he misses, looks forward to, and he hates himself for it.


Merlin lies in the darkness.

He has lain there for such a long time. He doesn’t know how many hours or days, he’s been here. The minutes stretch by uncounted. He could have been lying here for years and not have known it, as his mind grows duller, breaking down, succumbing to the madness.

I think you'd know if you were lying there for years.
Also I'd like to point out Merlin is one of three figures in Breton mythology who can raise the dead.
Another is Christ so that's pretty fucking powerful.
And the other is some witch but let's not dwell on that.
Merlin's sorcerous power approaches that of Christ himself.
Obviously he wants to be tied up because there's little physically stopping him, I'm guessing.

He has begun looking forward to Morgause’s visits.

Almost.

It is the warmth, he misses. He is sure that is what he desires. The warm fire from the torch, the witch brings with her.

I'd like to point out Merlin doesn't really fear her in any story I've ever read, he just lets her troll Arthur so he'd learn some lesson about chivalry or something.
So this goes on and on like this and then it just ends.
Great.

Only my art muse is awake today. That being said, anyone want some art for their fic? : )

I wish I had an image to encompass how douchey these two sentences but I don't.
I don't blame myself, though. I don't think such a beast exists.

I came out to my grandparents today. We were sitting in the living room, watching those old westerns, when I told them " I like men...a little."

THIS IS A MAN?
HA.

My grandfather leaned over, and told me in the deepest southern accent " you're now just fucking figuring this out?"

Well, needless to say I received enough hugs to last a lifetime, and I was the only one who cried(a little!)

Seriously, Christ all mighty. I was never so confident this was a woman.
You'd think I'd fucking learn, though. Never, ever commit to a statement of gender until you've seen then naked. You just cannot tell.

So, all I wanted to say to everyone out there was, thank you for your wonderful fanfictions, and simply being awesome people. : ) I think I may write a 'coming out' story for Merlin now.

Maybe it's because I'm such a mythologyfag but writing coming out stories for Merlin seems especially tacky to me.

I'll be right back, I need to go have a good cry.(I never actually stopped. All well, fuck it!)

Yes, congratulations.
Can we, for once, not make this a self-indulgent production?
Of course not, I was just being rhetorical.
Or "ironic" if I'm feeling hipster.
Oh boy, another fanfiction entry.

Summary: “How dare you talk to me like that, I am the King!” Arthur spat, brandishing his sword. He didn’t know the strange naked youth, nor did he care.

BRANDISHING HIS SWORD, EH?
NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO DRAW PHALLIC CONNECTIONS TO A SWORD, HAR.

The heavens mourned as the almighty sat within the council of gods. He wept, they all wept, as they watched one of their mortal children, destroy all he saw. Like a plague his forces swept the land, leaving nothing but death in its passing.

They sent the ruler visions, pleading him to stop the wars.

‘King Arthur, of the house of Pendragon, the son of Uther, and the godson of the Almighty god Constantine,’ they plead,

>God
>Constantine
Errr--
I think we have some confused mythology, here.
Although it was popular opinion at the time that England descended from the line of Troy after the sac of Troy at the hands of the Achaeans--
So in a way--
no fuck it this is stupid.
So the gods command you to not conquer the land but instead fuck other men.
That's some theology.
Can I do neither or do I have to do one or the other?
I can't believe this is a man.
Speaking of:

Jissai has come to the realization that he may be just slightly...very slightly...what's the word here?

Ah, yes, slightly,little, pinch of gay.

Speaking in the third person, are you?
Also what point did you realize this? When you were writing masturbatory material prominently featuring gay sex?
Christ on a cross.
Picture he drew of two men in bed together--

Well, since I am still waiting on my fanfic muse to return, I have been drawing like there is no tomorrow on the merlin fancomic.

Fanfiction muse.
Gag.
That's the retarded half sister of the other muses.
She's missing an eye and half her jaw and has a club foot-- we don't talk about her.
Another fanfic with the warning "future violence" which sounds more up my alley. Let's see.

You can do this



You chant the words over and over again, in your mind.



Like a prayer, a frail hope that you cannot but predict will break and fall as its wings shatter and eyes go still.

Nope fuck it.
Also have you skipped enough spaces between sentences? Maybe I should start doing that so it looks like I've written more than I have.

Magic is evil. Unnatural. It corrupts and twists a man until nothing but a monster is left, greedy eyes wide, scanning the horizon in search for its next conquest.

Except all those good wizards.
Or burn the witch--
What stance do I take so I can disagree with this toolbag?
I feel like I have to disagree with him.
I mean before he's practically sucking Merlin's magic dick and now this.
Uuuuuh fuck it.
CALL THE POLICE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

Are you fucking serious?

I'd like to apologize to the last blogger. There are worse things than your layout.
Namely this layout.
I had to check with my eyes and monitor and PC and the cosmos itself about ten times to affirm I wasn't going blind so if you're doing the same thing, rest assured: what you see before you is happening.
It's .5 gray font on a light gray background.
FUCK YOU, READER!
I like how her blog is "friends only" (already established there's no such thing). Some friend. "You can't read this if you're not my friend but if you are my friend you get to eat shit" is how her "friends only" tag reads to me.
Also last blog was tapped out upon further study. Oh well~
Someone hipped me to the fact that it's probably a girl writing it who has a crush on another girl and after rereading my entry, the blog itself and going further back than I had in the previous entry I'm still not convinced.

What fictional television show would you want to live in? What character would you play?

So today's writer's block confirmed two things: Dr. Who is apparently the greatest television show ever if I'm going by popular opinion and no one knows how to spell the word "definitely" (hint: there's no 'a' in it).

oh my god, definitely Doctor Who!

I would seriously love to go for a spin or two or two thousand in the TARDIS.

like seriously, it has been a fantasy of mine to be spirited away in a whimsical flying contraption by a quirky alien since I was four.

It has been my dream to the prattling of some cunt while pretending I'm Stevie Wonder.
Thank God for this blog.

What are your best and worst personality traits? Do you think your friends would agree?

My best personality trait is I'm blind and my worst is I'm blind please help.

I think my best personality trait is probably that I'm a little crazy... in a good way. I take friendship really seriously, there are few things that I wouldn't do for a friend in need, even if they're asking me to do something insane, I'm usually game.

LULZ I'M INSANE xP
There is nothing worse than a person who thinks like this.

On the flip side of that, I can be a little sly and I'm an amazing liar, which is advantageous sometimes, but it isn't really a "good" personality trait, especially not in a friend. Though I'm not pathological, I can fib through my teeth if I need to.

I think the general consensus is that I'm missing a few marbles... although, it might come as a surprise as to how cunning I can be, since truly being cunning means fooling people into believing that I am always being truthful.

YOU SAID THIS BEFORE YOU STUPID CUNT.
LET ME GO ON IN DETAIL ABOUT HOW COMPLETELY CRAZY I AM.
I write fanfiction and I play video games (don't hit on my silly boys XD) and I loooooove anime and manga and furry conventions and I'm totally into BEING COMPLETELY UNSURPRISING.

Sorry I've been dead for a few weeks, I've been really busy.

As soon as February is over I'll be able to breathe again. I re-applied to university in January because I'm not too happy with York, and if all goes well come September I will be living in downtown Toronto. I'm so over suburbia it isn't funny. And I'm not just saying that because I miss my fourteen-year-old Green Day fangirl days, but because I think this is a change that I really need.

Let me guess you want to do all the crazy and zany things a totally free spirited girl like you does like take drawing and acting classes, shop at Goodwill and knit and stitch because you are totally rocking it old school like that! Did I teeeeeeeeeell you guys about my fanfiction?

I want to live in a tiny apartment and play good music and bake and study and take acting classes, and that isn't really working for me right now.

Bake--
acting--
I said stitch instead of bake and art in addition to acting but I'm still going to award myself full points.

Since I'm applying for graphic design though, I need to create a portfolio, and that on top of regular school work and rehearsals and my job has left me little time to actually talk to anyone.

YES THANK YOU.
BOW BEFORE MY PSYCHIC MIGHT.

If you could wake up and spend 24 hours in an online game with any weapons/powers, would you do it? If so, what type of game would you choose, and why?

FFXIV. Get money, fuck bitches.
Seems mundane but I know what goes into adventuring in that world and it involves getting shot by the Empire or eaten by a dragon or getting yelled at by twats so not worth the time.
24 HOURS ONLY COMPRESS IT INTO THE IMPORTANT ASPECTS.

Do you think Web sites containing "adult content" should be legally required to post warnings? How would you personally define the rating scale? Do you fear this would place a chill on free/creative expression?

I missed this question when it first came around.
Absolutely and if you're caught misusing the warnings you should be shot.
Goodbye, Livejournal.

Most certainly. And as long as there's still accessible to those who wish to view them, nobody needs to wave their "freedom of expression" flag in anyone's face.

The rating scale seems simple enough to me... anything with violent or sexual content should be clearly labelled.

14+
GUYS I'M SOOOOOO SAD MY iPOD BROKE :(

Do you think society puts too much pressure on people to be in relationships and/or have children? Do you think this ostracizes people who would be perfectly content to remain single and/or child-free? Is this pressure worse around the holidays?

Oh shut up you fucking pussies.
WAAAAAAAAH SOCIETY OSTRACIZED ME BECAUSE THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND I'M A SQUIRREL TRAPPED IN A WOMAN'S BODY TRAPPED IN A MAN'S BODY AND ALSO I'M A VAMPIRE AND PSYCHICALLY MARRIED TO THAT FAGGOT FROM TWILIGHT BECAUSE HE EXISTS IN AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION :(
Yeah, no one gets it because you're fucking crazy.

Almost everything in the media alienates single people. But yes, the holidays do have a way of warping the word "happiness" so that it can only come from a tall, good looking person in a business suit with a $10 000 ring in their pocket.

Yes, happy people are rich and attractive.
Back to the fields, peasants.

As for pressure on women having babies... actually no, not so much. I think babies have become the new taboo. Like homosexuality used to be. People today get their heads ripped off by the feminists of the world for even suggesting that they would like to have children.

They do?
Have I completely not been paying attention my entire life?
I've never once felt alienated watching TV because I was single and I've never once heard someone get scoffed at for wanting to have children.

It's treated as the most unnatural thing in the world. As though now, every woman needs to be 100% focused on their career and their social life, and not worry about having kids until age 32 rolls around and they start having regrets, which can lead to dangerous pregnancies.

You guys should live in a country run by me.
Your problems would seem insignificant by comparison.
For a while, I should add. Then things would be much better.
I'm sorry she kept going on about shit that I'm convinced isn't even real and I couldn't read it because my optic nerves leapt out of my head and started strangling me.

If your best friend forgave his or her partner for cheating and lying, would you try to forgive him or her too? Would you find it difficult to spend time with them as a couple?

...
Am I reading this question correctly? Why do I care who my best friend is fucking?
Except when friends get into relationships with insufferable twats, I should say, but that's only because you lose them as a friend or they gain an annoying appendage that's always with them when you're hanging out.

I wish I could say that I'd want to respect my friend's wishes, but the truth is if I'm going to have to pick up the pieces every time this happens, I'm not so sure I'd encourage the relationship in the first place.

That and I have zero respect for any kind of infidelity, and I don't believe in second-chances.

Sorry bro I know we've been bros forever practically but something that doesn't even affect has now caused me to reconsider our status as friends.

Are you an oldest, youngest, middle, or only child? How do you think it has influenced your personality?

Only and I don't know because I only have a sample size of one.
Maybe if I could talk to the interdimensional mes we might be able to come to consensus on what being an only child has done to me.

Only child. And I have quite a bit to say about this.

This is why my blog is good and all other blogs are shit. Everyone else has sooooo much to say on the subject of themselves and my response was "I don't know" bordering on "I don't give a shit" which is always the preferable state in which to find yourself.

I think that family and faith are the two things that impact a person the most. My mom said she always wanted to grow up and have lots of kids, but she and my father separated after I was born, and she... how do I explain this... doesn't "believe" in being married more than once. She says it does not conform with her morals and values. Fine, whatever.

A highly respectable position.
You yourself said you don't believe in second chances. Well your mother gave marriage her one and only chance.

I don't know how to write families. I can write friendship, and I daresay, realistic relationships. Maybe that comes from not having have father or siblings, and a mom that worked really hard to support me growing up, but as a result was not around very much. I'm not trying to turn this into a I'm-a-teenager-my-life-sucks moment, but I think one of my biggest regrets is not having siblings.

I guess literally "regret" is a sense of loss or disappointment but I usually think of a regret as something you have control over. Like you were going to do something and didn't so you regret it (or, indeed, did something and regret it). I don't think something outside of your control is something you can really feel regret over.
But then again I feel regret for not being a space marine so maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.

Do you think it's okay to tell little lies about small things to avoid hurting someone's feelings? Or is there no such thing as a harmless lie?

Yes.
Lie constantly.
There is never a good reason to tell the truth.

Honesty is the best policy.
It just isn't always the easiest.

A lot of people claim that they "can handle the truth" even if it hurts them, but I think that in itself is a lie.

People are cowardly and weak. Only the strong deserve the truth.

No matter what language you speak, you've probably come across words or phrases in another language that sound better than their equivalents in your native tongue. What's your favorite word or phrase in a foreign language?

On a similar but not stupid note the phrase "you are already dead" (of Fist of the North Star fame) sounds awesome in every language I can think of.
Actually if you look it up on Youtube the US got screwed out of Fist of the North Star dub. Japanese version is awesome (mostly because of the voice of Kenshiro) but the Spanish and especially the Italian dub are almost as good.
The English dub is fucking weak, man.
I guess it's because it's a hotblooded show and Spanish and Italian cultures are hotblooded so they'd kind of understand the psychology of Fist of the North Star better than English or something.
I don't know I'm just rambling to have to avoid looking at this blog and risk going blind and dying.

I'm so sleepy right now, but for some reason I have Celine Dion playing over and over in my head and I can't get to sleep.

I'm sorry to hear that.
I can't say I know a Celine Dion song which I consider the best policy in life.

Thrilling updates about my life:

1. Yesterday I ate chocolate ice cream (as opposed to vanilla) for the first time in 10 years, and it was very refreshing.

2. I've had Subway for dinner for two nights in a row and it's not doing my self-esteem any good.

3. York University is hot for me.

The year is 1943. You are a scientist working on the top secret Colossus project, an immense undertaking never before dreamed of by man. Its one goal: to decipher the Enigma code.
Flash forward 20 years: you are a scientist working in a hot Berkley University basement. your goal? To network two computers together to instantly(ish) send information from one computer to another. You are laying down the foundations for technology that doesn't even exist yet.
This is the dawn of a new era and the beginning of something that will revolutionize the way humanity understands information forever.
Flash forward another 10 years and you are IBM, positing that processors are now complex enough to handle graphical user interfaces, an idea Bill Gates takes and turns into his immensely successful Windows OS. For the first time computers might be within the grasp of the average person.
Flash forward a mere 35 years:
HAD ICE CREAM FOR DINNER xP is the summation of your collective efforts.
Shoulda gone into law, gentlemen.

I was lying in bed afterward and I had this great huge epiphany about the 1947 Greek Crisis which literally saved my soul IA.

No idea what this means but I have to assume it's the 1948 Greek-Turkish "Crisis" where President Truman set a policy where the US would send aid (money, weapons, training, etc.) to prevent Greece and Turkey from falling into the hands of the Soviets.
Well I think I've finally gone blind.
Goodbye.

Why, What

I mean come on, are you fucking serious?
Are you serious?
Let's discuss this layout briefly, shall we?
I don't have the largest monitor in the world, I'll admit, but my resolution is currently 1920 x 1080. That is about three times larger than the 1990s CRT monitors.
And yet somehow I can't shake the feeling that fully half of my screen real estate is devoted to a picture of some anime girl, and another 45% is devoted to absolutely nothing at all, leaving the text itself on a narrow strip about as wide as an iPod screen.
I counted the number of words on each line for two posts and the highest number was six.
SIX FUCKING WORDS ON A LINE.
THAT WOULD BE LIKE IF EVERY SINGLE LINE IN THIS BLOG WAS THE LENGTH OF THE LINE ABOVE.
But that's okay you might argue (if you have brain damage) as long as the content is good.
... I actually haven't read the content but with a presentation like this I'm prepared to be so not surprised I'm almost surprised again.

Where is your happiest place on earth?

After looking at this blog the concept of happiness is so far beyond me I can't even remember what that emotion feels like anymore.
Oh let's guess what his answer will be. I'm guessing it's going to be some sort of Dragonball Z/Sailor Moon-esque thing about FIGHTING FOR MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY but whereas Dragonball Z will at least promise violence or some sort of resolution to the plot this'll just be boring.

Anywhere with close friends and family. I also love being under the blue skies. Blue skies, with or without clouds (as long as they're white and puffy, not rain clouds) is good too.

I really feel so empowered by the sky. Unlimited possibilities, infinite realities.

Thank you.
AND THIS IS A SUPER SAIYAN.
Jesus Christ.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten (and want to share with other LJ users)?

I don't remember the advice I gave last time but I have new advice: pick a layout that doesn't make me want to vomit blood.

Best advice is. To remember who you are. And when you've forgotten or lost your way, your friends are there to bring you back to reality.

I keep looking at the anime girl to the right after every sentence and I can't shake the feeling she's preaching at me in some video game (possibly Final Fantasy). This is the most cliche, trite bullshit I've ever read this makes Final Fantasy XIII (that game which shall go unnamed) look good by comparison.

And your friends are awesome, but you must've done something amazing to earn those awesome friends. People don't just become your friends for no reason. YOU did something awesome.

I'd like to point out this sentence in his blog was seven lines. It's only three in mine after block quoting. This is ridiculous and this guy should probably be drawn and quartered for it.
Also you'll notice how I say "this guy" because despite tons of evidence to the contrary I'm guessing this is a man.

In short, friends are awesome.

Oh that's the advice you're giving me? It's good to have friends?
Yeah, well, Goku taught me that it doesn't matter how strong I am as long as I have a lot of internal strength. Strength of character will let me beat Freeza.

What is your biggest regret? Did you learn from it or does it still plague you?

Spore, why?
Was that my answer last time? I don't really remember.

You know, everyone always said I would regret not going to prom. But honestly, I don't regret it at all.

Let me start responding to this question by talking about the exact opposite of what I'm supposed to be answering.
Let me tell you some more things I don't regret: putting an anime girl's picture HUGE ON THE SIDE OF MY BLOG.
Making the maximum number of words that can fit on a line six.
Writing dumb boring bullshit.
Being an enormous cunt.
All of these things I have no regret from.

I do have a few regrets, and I am not sure what I regret the most.

I'd like to change my regret: your mother didn't have you aborted.
That is the greatest tragedy in my life.

I regret not asking out this girl who was in my summer PE class 2-3 years ago.

Hmm. Wasn't that the last guy's regret, too?
Except his was like 10 years ago so you are only 20-30% as pathetic.

Heck. I don't even remember her name, because I had given her a nickname ("Dandelion").

Didn't know her name.
So that begs the question: did you talk to her or did you just stare at her longingly in a way that made her uncomfortable?
We may never know or care.

I regret not trying harder in High School as well. Some of that was being naive, other was being scared. I regret being so scared. I wish I was stronger then, more command, more confident and more assertive.

Well if you remember back to DBZ again, Gohan--
he was a scared little boy, but then he learned to fight for things he believed in I guess.
Seriously all the lessons I should be learning from this blog read like DBZ episodes.
So here's an log of a conversation he had over AIM or Skype and I it basically confirms my suspicions that he's a man.
As you may know I usually have a ban on all IM logs for being a waste of time but this also reads like it's from a romantic comedy to the point where I suspect I'm not actually dealing with a human being in this blog but a super computer that generates blog responses based on an aggregate of all other media.
Here's the preface:

She's definitely interested in someone else. Going to visit him at Disney World for a week or two.

AWWWWW.
Also apparently this guy missed the writing on the wall hard enough to not realize this girl has a relationship SERIOUS ENOUGH FOR HIM TO TAKE HER TO DISNEY WORLD.
Either that or fucking bitches is way harder now that it used to be, good grief.

[11:03:32 PM] Nice Girl: I really hope that we can stay friends, I enjoy being with you and doing things with you.

Translation: you are really creepy and I never want to see you again but I'm afraid telling you this outright would cause you to go into a jealous, berserker rage.

[11:03:41 PM] Nice Girl: That was never the issue.

This is literally the next line after the one previous which leads me to believe there's a missing line that might cast our boy in a less-than-flattering light.
Bro: asking her to dress up in the fursuit you made her so you can have an ungreased backdoor slam session = bad move for a first date.

[11:03:57 PM] Nice Girl: Hopefully the same thing that applied with her, can work with me..if you'd like.

Translation: all girls are basically the same in that most don't want to dress up in fursuits.

[11:04:16 PM] Me: Wait, what was the issue =p
[11:05:06 PM] Nice Girl: Things just got too serious, too quickly. It felt like you expected more of me than what I was and it just felt..I don't know how to explain it.

See above.

[11:05:20 PM] Nice Girl: It's nothing wrong with you, so don't think that.
[11:05:40 PM] Nice Girl: You were nothing but good and sweet and caring. I attribute no fault to you.

Translation: this is entirely your fault and you were incredibly overbearing and creepy for a girl you didn't know that well, all things considered. I'm letting you down gently before I discover you have hair samples and photographs of me on the toilet.

[11:09:43 PM] Nice Girl: And so are you..obviously since you're being so kind and good about this.
[11:09:59 PM] Nice Girl: I never wanted to hurt you, and I know you'll find someone who is right and perfect for you.

Again I get the impression this document has been heavily censored for our (his) protection.
What prompted the "and so are you..." comment? I don't know because according to the information provided that line follows after her previous comment of "I attribute no fault to you."
Which is an awkward grammatical construct if I'm being perfectly honest. It sounds like a legal document which leads me to believe she's choosing her words with greater care than she wants to let on.

[11:11:16 PM] Me: Already did, I was just too average. =)

Oh, gag.
She's giving you your walking papers, bro. Get angry. Bitches don't like a pushover.

I don't know if it is fact or not, but it's my feeling the girl I've been talking about is interested in someone else.

Gee, I wonder.
You know a trip to Disney World (unless you happen to live nearby which considering it's a two week vacation I'm guessing no) usually takes a lot of planning and forethought and I'm guessing this guy didn't just happen to buy two tickets in case the girlfriend thing happened to work out--
I think she's been playing you for a chump, man.

Anyways. I know what I must do. But there is just this empty feeling in me. The feeling of a vast void. That is what I don't know how to deal with. How do I overcome this void? How do I stop feeling empty? How do I forget about her? How will I replace the emptiness/her?

MASTER ROSHI? HOW DO I DEAL WITH THE PAIN?

To top it off, I feel sad and depressed. And I genuinely don't know what I like or what to do to make me happy.

I don't know what I like.
HELP.
You know having a little spine and conviction will help prevent this feeling.

I realized, I really don't know what makes me happy.

Over the past few weeks, it was the girl who made me happy.

Shut up.
IT WAS A FEW WEEKS AGO. WHAT DID YOU DO WHEN YOU WERE HAPPY A FEW WEEKS AGO?
He's talking like an old man in his 90s who just lost his wife of 65 years. "I don't remember what it was like without her. We met during The War--" then he dies a few weeks later and a nice human interest story is written in the paper and you say "awww they really loved each other" but THIS JUST READS LIKE SOME CHUCKLEFUCK BEING CREEPY.

But that's unhealthy. I should not have relied on her so much to begin with. But she literally did sweep me off of my feet.

FUCK.
MEN DON'T GET SWEPT OFF THEIR FEET. THEY DO THE SWEEPING.
HAVEN'T YOU SEEN DRAGONBALL Z?
I THINK IF YOU HAD YOU'D KNOW MORE ABOUT ACTING LIKE A MAN THAN THIS.
Seriously there's even an entire filler arc where loser gets girlfriend, realizes she's a cunt and ditches her only to hook up with a better chick later.
All significant life's lessons that you should have learned from your parents can, in fact, be learned from a children's TV show.
You're clearly an anime fan, there's no reason you shouldn't know this shit.
In fact, strong argument for being a loser comes from DBZ.
Goku, uncontested strongest being in the entire universe totally pussy wiped by his banshee wife. Why? Married her when he was 17.
Loser waits and hooks up with a robot chick who can cook.
FAGGOT: WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE OLDER.
Speaking of: there's this video game called Catherine (I don't own it, long story about how I know this) and there's a series of polls it asks you throughout the game (apparently) and then it keeps tally against your friends (not that you have friends because you bought an Atlus game but you get my meaning) and against all other people that own the game.
One of the questions is "would you marry the perfect girl if she were a robot?" and more people said no than yes.
This is entirely baffling to me on numerous levels but I have to assume when they said "robot" people think Gundam robot and not a robot made to look like a hot chick which suggests you people have a clinical lack of imagination.
I'd even go so far as to say were it possible being a robot would be preferential to her being human.
OH YEAH.

And so after four weeks, it appears our relationship has ended.

Things just moved too fast and spun too out of control for both of us. I want to write about this, but I don't know where to start.

I feel a song coming on for some reason.

With her sweeping my off my feet and going through my guards and walls? Or with us basically going so fast and ending up crashing and burning.

Let the bitch disarm you?
I'm pretty sure that was grounds for decimation in the Roman Legions.
Oh yeah, you've never heard of decimation in the proper Roman sense?
So a group of dudes fucks up and they have to draw lots. It's set up so 1 lot in 10 is a loser (deci-) and that person gets stoned to death (-mation). Leadership executed separately.
THE PRICE FOR COWARDICE IS HIGH IN THE ROMAN LEGIONS.
I feel like this entry has been even more off topic than usual what with me talking about Dragonball Z and a video game I don't even own and the Roman Legions-- basically anything except this boring, vaguely creepy nonsense.
You know how sometimes I advocate going outside and interacting with people as a solution to these losers' problems (ironic advice coming from me I assure you)? This is the first time I think the guy should probably stay inside and be alone for a while.
Oh, and now I've come to the entry where this whole business starts. Let's get some closure to this and then I'm promptly never speaking to another human again.

So, for some four weeks or so I've been crushing on this girl. I mean I've really fallen for her. We use to talk constantly. She use to want to talk constantly and I allowed her.

All right fellow grammarians: what verb tense is "we use to talk"?

Sure others might have thought it was clingy behavior, but I liked it and reciprocated it.

When the term "clingy behavior" and "I liked it and reciprocated it" there should have been an air raid siren going off in your head, that's how loud this warning was.

Of course, while it's understandable, it makes me sad. And I am torn. I am torn between being understanding and being sad. I really, really like this girl, and there are a lot of amazing qualities between us. She just drives me crazy with all these thoughts and my desires to want to be with her, to hear her voice, to be with her presence.

Hopefully your driving desire isn't to make a girl suit out of her.
Unfortunately I suspect that is your driving desire and when she says she's going to Disney World with her new boyfriend she really means she's working closely with the FBI to capture a serial killer and is promptly joining the witness protection program.

I think she's absolutely glowing, radiating and stunning. She's definitely motivated me like no one else ever has. I love being around her.

I don't know why but suddenly I'm reminded of Dawn of War II when you teleport a tactical squad in sometimes their line is "WE WALK WITH DEATH."
Just a weird thing I think about sometimes.
Hoooo boy. This guy. The hits keep rolling. Next up: WORLD OF WARCRAFT DRAMA OH NO!
But because this entry has already banged on long enough I think I might return to this loser Wednesday.
Or maybe not, I'll have to see if this blog is tapped out.
But hey, returning to him Wednesday would prove I've shown more loyalty than his girlfriend.
HAW HAW HAW.