Them blogs, man

Them blogs.
What do you, dear reader, consider the greatest piece of literature ever composed? Your answer doesn't actually matter, even if its drivel like Twilight because what is for certain is that it is not Whisper in the Darkness.
First thing I have to mention: holy Christ I've been struck blind (and stupid) by the shitty layout.
So first she poses a simple (deceptively so) question to herself:

What change have you made in your life that you're most proud of?

Okay, to which she responds:

To become a lesbian. And not cutting myself. That I'm most proud of.

When your "most proud" change is defined by that which you haven't done I think you've fucked up somewhere.
Also "to become a lesbian" doesn't really seem like an answer to the question. I'm sure what she tried to articulate with her tiny, tiny mind was "I became a lesbian" (see, present tense) but whatever.

Well I called Tim to wish him a happy easter and he didn't stop calling me the other day. I don't know what is up with him. I just wanted to wish him a happy easter and nothing more.

As I understand it some people enjoy talking to people they like, and try to do so frequently and sometimes share their thoughts and emotions with this person. Also they frequent social events together. This relationship isn't romantic. I think you might call this relationship "friendship" but I don't know.

If he wants to talk to me talk to me online don't call me.

If he wants to talk to me, (comma) talk to me online. (period) D(upper case)on't call me.

Anyways I have a girlfriend and she is the love of my life.

I know you said "anyways (sic)" but you should still probably qualify sudden shifts in thought with a paragraph break or some kind of connective thought (or even an admission that these thoughts are unrelated).

I think I'm going to move in with her. Yes that is what I will do. We are getting this big fucking place in suffield and I'm going to move in with her.

When I entered the 6th grade I was encouraged to vary my sentence structure to keep it interesting for my readers.

I hope that it is the right thing to do I think it is.

No punctuation mark is not the correct option here. There are many, many choices, rest assured. Indeed, each offers a slightly different shade of meaning while all are correct. You could have broken this into two sentences, added a comma, added a dash-- anything, really. You're clearly a special case so I'm going to be unusually merciful and give you half credit for things I would typically regard as incorrect (colon, semicolon).

Kathy doesn't but I do because god loves everyone and he who is without sin cast the first stone I always say.

Again I need you to bridge your thoughts better. Also: God loves everyone, eh?
That is true about casting stones and shit, though.

Mary mag was a prostitute I think that is even worse than gay.

Oh-- didn't you just say not to judge and shit?
Also by your wording, homosexuality is implicitly bad, prostitution is just "worse". Personally I'm okay with both but I guess we can't all be Christ-like like me~

Jesus loved her. So I say he loves gays too. I mean the world has changed I mean the male gene will not exist in another 2000 years if we manage to not blow our selves up and find a way to produce clean things for the environment.

I see your understanding of biology, genetics and the environment is as startlingly vast as your knowledge of the Bible.

They say the male chromosome is getting smaller and smaller it said on the discovery channel and all that will exist is female.

Well if the Discovery channel says it, hey. Who am I to judge?

We will be a planet that is totally asexual.

No-- you'd still be female. Asexual would be without gender. Not requiring coitus to reproduce.

We won't need to have sex to procreate.

So because all men die women will magically be able to reproduce asexually? How might that be? Spontaneous evolution?

The female gender is the dominant one out of them all.

I'm going to ignore for the moment that the male chromosome is surprisingly resilient and far, far more adaptive than this stupid cunt thinks.

Although we would probably be like we couldn't live without men but you know what we would find a way to preserve the male chromosome if that was happening so I think we would always have men just they would be toys. There would be discrimination towards them. ha ha ha. Just like fucking slavery only there to pleasure us and then be thrown away.

"Subject displays sadomasochistic tendencies" is what I'd be writing down on my notepad if I had to analyze her psyche.

I would love to see the female as a dominant species because man has reigned far too long.

Say what you will about every ruler ever (male or female), at least they're not you.

I just feel my life has been such a wasteful one. I'm now 26 and I'm not even married not like gay people can get married but hey at least I could get domestic partnership to her.

Wow. You're now 26. Your entire life up until now has been a waste-- and it's now over. You cannot possibly recover from this. Your life is over.

I will take it slow but not being cocky or anything she will eventually have to say that she is married to me.

Ironic that you say you won't be "COCKy" as if you could be-- ha, ha, ha.

Take my name at least instead of her name Missy White.

Sounds like you're hoping to marry a stripper or perhaps a porn actress.

I'm going to bank of america tomorrow to get the remaining 50 bucks that I owe him.

Wouldn't you be giving instead of getting? Whatever. Suddenly I'm reminded of that Rolling Stones song.

I want us to lead a non dramatic life and I eventually want to move in with her. I hope Tim approves of it.

Making a note of this in my psychological pad, too. "Expressed deep hatred of men but still seeks the approval of an unrelated male acquaintance." Then beside that I'd write "issues with father?" Or perhaps "Electra complex?" to remind my note pad that I have a fucking psychology degree.

I just hope this autoimmune disease if I have one doesn't bring me down because I'll be devestated.

Devastated*
Also now I'm thinking of that song by ELO.

Which day of the week do you least look forward to? And which one do you most anticipate?

No one gives a fuck, next entry--

Well I told tim her friend that see he is gay so I'm not worried about anything.

W-- What? This is like when a CD skips and five lines play over each other at once.
I'm going to take this slow, word by word, and see if I can get some sort of sense out of this.
Well I told Tim, her (girlfriend, presumably) friend that-- and here is where I'm confused. Is this an aside? If so, shouldn't this be its own sentence? Also what would you be worried about? That Tim is suddenly going to swoop in and turn your girlfriend (who is a lesbian I assume) heterosexual? Well I only know one Tim (me) and he is absolutely capable of such raw feats of masculine conquest, so perhaps you are wrong in not worrying.
Let's continue. Perhaps this will all make sense in due time.

I don't have any doubts about this relationship. I loved her from the moment I met her. I know now I'm a lesbian and i will never ever be with another man.

This isn't going to make sense, is it? Also I like how you say you have "no doubts" about your relationship but then go on to say "I love her"... Five times, by my count, in one entry. Trying to convince yourself, I see.

I would probably commit suicide knowing I couldn't be with her.

"Subject is clingy, melodramatic and has attachment issues."

Well one that made me really angry is that muslim woman who got her vagina sodomized for talking to another muslim man.

Wow this is like a Zen riddle. You can't perform sodomy on a vagina since it is, by definition, anal or oral copulation.

We should send all the women to college in iraq for free.

Brilliant solution. You're like those beauty pageant winners (sans the beauty): "WE SHOULD JUST GIVE EVERYONE A MILLION DOLLARS!!"

I'm a lesbian just to let you guys all know that. I am and I don't care what anyone thinks or what the bible tells me.

Well you are very wrong in assuming I care. Which I don't.

I don't know about you Christians but I think you all are basically unhappy people to begin with.

All Christians are miserable. All I'd have to do is show you one happy Christian.

I don't know if this is a generalization but it isn't because I've noticed how unhappy Christians are.

You don't know if it's a generalization? Quick brotip: if, at any time, the word "all" comes up, it's a generalization.

I just have to say last night was amazing. I totally am into Missy. I don't care if it makes me gay or not.

This is the second time you've stated you "don't care". Hey you don't have to convince me.

I'm a man hater because I don't think there is a single man out there that is good. I think men are evil. Maybe there are a few but in the general they all just want to get into your pants and bang you.

Yeah like you're such a hot commodity.
Well I could go on, so I will.

I did sexual things to her. I guess you could say we had sex.

This is the first time I've ever laughed out loud at one of these fucking things, and for all the wrong reasons. Really, you did sexual things, so you had sex?

Oh and I weigh 200 lb's now so thats good.

Gross.
Okay I'm officially done now. I probably could continue, but this entry seems to be dragging on and on so I guess I'll go~

I'm Dying

I'm slowly being poisoned so let's keep this short ok~
ugh

I don't even know anymore
I just spent my long weekend doing nothing, and I mean nothing . .

Welcome to my every weekend. Feels good, man.

it's almost like i can always find something else to do that's not work. I don't really know how I pull it off, and I'm always feeling terribly drained after having done a day of nothing.

I never really feel drained (except today, but as I mentioned I am dying) but other than that I know exactly what you mean.

Also, it seems that every time i look at something, it's waiting to be ripped apart and turned into a work of art somehow. Not really art, but something different. A paint job here, a rip or two there, maybe some arranging--WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

You lost me.

So for anyone and everyone out there, answer me this: when you don't want to do what you've always wanted to do, and if you feel like doing what you want to do will help you do what you need to do, what do you do?

I-- kill yourself.

I thought he had more raw sarcasm in him than Kimmel, Letterman, and Leno

Yes, Leno is known for that biting sarcasm (or maybe that's just a huge bite, hugejawman.jpg).

also, can anyone point me to a full-length, hi-res picture of a crocodile without any of its body parts cut off from the shot?

www.google.com you stupid cunt.

More of the time I get ticked off and turn the TV on. xD

lol xD

I'm hoping it's not ADD, and I know it's not ADD because I know it's supposed to show up in childhood. But lately I've been jumping from one thing to the other, getting distracted more often, talking about five different things at once, doing things without thinking--UGHHH I just wiki'd the symptoms, and most of them apply to me. :'|

I'm going to link you to two character traits I look for in people before I can declare them not cunts. I want you to read them and think hard on them. Here's one, and here's the other.

. . . that only leaves the 1203712478473 other CD's I want to buy, LOL

>buy
>music

I got tired of the P4-themed one, though I do miss the coloursplosion. :"D

>Persona 4
>colorful
Maybe you played a different game than I, but I can summarize the color choice of Persona 4 in one word: yellow.
You know, sort of like how Persona 3 was blue? Seriously I'm not a big artfag and even I noticed this shit.

I finished my school!sketchbook a while ago, and now I've got nothing to draw with--I have my own, of course, but the paper is too soft and so is the lead I use.

So get a new pencil? Seriously they're like 85 cents. Even if you had literally no money a trip around the parking lot could afford you that pencil.
All right I'm looking at her deviant art account. She's okay. Certainly nothing to write home about.

also, this is pretty crazy considering the amount of homework I need to do: I finally touched my P3:FES file again, YAY! AKIHIKO MUH'BOIIII <33333

Persona 3 is sitting in my Playstation 2 right now. I think I'll just go over and eject that. Let us never speak of it again.

I am so not used to the battle menu anymore LOL;;; the system's basically the same as P4 but the menu is just confusion all over again.

I-- it's-- it's fucking exactly the same, only the icons are arranged in a circle instead of a straight line.
Persona 3 wasn't the easiest game I've ever played in my life, but I can say the menu isn't what caused me to stumble.

The interface looks pretty good, but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to use any of the tools because IT'S ALL IN JAPONESS

OH NO THERE AREN'T ONLINE DICTIONARIES THAT CAN HELP YOU IN THIS QUEST.

After my attempts at ass-kickery in Brawl, we played a round of Wii Tennis and tried to get Trauma Center: Second Opinion up and running (I had no idea it was an Atlus game!

girlsplayingvideogames
All right I guess that's it. She wrote a lot (a lot) more but frankly I don't give a shit~

This is probably a bad idea

Going to try Warhammer painting and updating, since FFXI playing and updating worked so brilliantly last time.
Also just a warning: if you want to follow this cunt about, you will have to click two (yes two) links. Apparently she posted in a group blog that I don't really give a shit about outside of her post, and then she has her own personal blog. First, here.
Post entitled "I hate you, Borders."

I did not try to purchase Corambis from Barnes and Noble even though it was available there earlier, because I have NO MONEY (I had a baby. Babies are expensive. WHO KNEW?) but I do have Borders Gift Cards.

I don't see how it's Borders' problem that you had a baby, so I'm not sure what's your deal with the whole "BABIES COST MONEY YOU FUCKS GIVE ME FREE SHIT!"
I don't know what to say here, maybe WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE IN A MORE FINANCIALLY STABLE SITUATION TO HAVE CHILDREN?
Virtually no Borders in my area has the book in stock.
Well I feel very sympathetic towards your sit-- oh wait, what's this?

I tried calling around on Monday to ask different stores if they WOULD have the book in stock, but apparently I spoke to idiots at each store. Hold up. I'm usually kind to people who work crap jobs like this.

Usually doesn't cut it. I'm usually polite-- well you weren't this time, and that doesn't make the idiot working that shit job's life any easier, so get off it, cunt.

But NONE of them were able to locate the book OR Sarah Monette, in their systems.

I have to be honest. I'm a fairly well-read person and I haven't even heard of this woman or her series until just now. I know when I go to Gamestop, say, looking for an obscure game I try to explain what it is, the full title, and how to spell it because I know most people, even people who like video games, aren't familiar with Shin Megami Tensei, let alone how to spell it.

Even the people who recognized her name. Durr? She's written SEVERAL books?

Oh well fuck me, several books in a book store with TENS OF THOUSANDS OF THEM.

How can you not find her? ARE YOU EVEN LOOKING? Idiots.

If she's not in the system it's safe to assume her books aren't in the store. I know I often question the organizational methods of Borders and like stores, but I'm sure they wouldn't just lose track of merchandise. That'd be, I think, bad for business.

It's frustrating that this book isn't carried in more locations. How are people going to buy it if it's not available for sale?

THIS WOMAN IS A NOBODY. MOST BORDERS I'VE BEEN TOO DON'T BOTHER TO STOCK THE ILIAD AND THE ODYSSEY, AND IF HOMER ISN'T THERE IT'S SAFE TO ASSUME MOST PEOPLE AREN'T. Okay so on to her main blog.

Sometimes he can only sleep when I’m curled up on the couch holding him with his ear against my chest so he can hear my heartbeat.

You know they make machines that emulate a heartbeat, don't you?
Personally I can't stand hearomg a heartbeat. It freaks me out and makes me start thinking my heart is stopping.
Yeah that's one of my neurosis.

Which is nice, as OMGTHEBABY recently decided that sleep is for CHUMPS and he’s only going to sleep for two hour stretches at a time, interrupted by feeding sessions that last for half an hour.

Brostorm.

I keep forgetting to eat. Yesterday? I hate a half cup of jello, a glass of grape juice, and a half cup of cottage cheese. That’s all I had until dinner, when I ate like a normal person with Nesko (spinach lasagna, hot bread, and a lemon square).

>I keep forgetting to eat
>I hate[...] (sic, ate)
Wouldn't forgetting to eat mean, you know, not eating anything?

That’s not really enough to survive on, you know?

I beg to differ. Contrary to what most decadent, privileged Americans think, you really don't need to eat all that much.

So I don’t feel hungry most of the time

NOT HUNGRY = DON'T EAT. THIS SHOULD BE INSTINCTIVE.

Nikola wakes up and decides he is hungry also and I tend to him and sometimes forget that I was about to eat something OR feel hungry and head-achey.

You named your child Nikola? What's wrong with Nicholas, huh?
Nikola sounds like an off-brand Pepsi.

Nesko and I went to Church yesterday, at the Serbian Orthodox Church he goes to for Easter and Christmas and no other time.

Nesko. Hmm.

Part of the service was intensely and incredibly familiar, even though it was in a different language.

That language would be-- uhh--
I don't suppose Serbian is a language?

I don’t know if I’m going to blog about it because there’s a very good chance I’ll sound like a jerk or something. I tend to be flippant, and it’s really easy for flippancy about religious worship to be taken the wrong way.

Who gives a fuck?

So I was very clueless as to what was going on (most of the service was in Serbian as well; there’s normally an English service at 9:30, this was Serbian with a little English mixed in) and that always bothers me.

Prior to this she mentions that she's used to the Catholic tradition (I omitted this part because it was too boring), which is funny because that's supposed to be in Latin.

It’s kind of weird how not involved in his religion he is. Growing up, I went to Mass every single Sunday, First Friday in grade school, Holy Day of Obligation, etc.

I've never set foot in any holy place of any religion and I turned out perfectly fine. What use is it?
Now there's a post so incredibly long and boring I find myself treating it like school reading and just kind of glancing over the length of the paragraph (not the actual contents of it) and considering it read.

I’ve been drawing with pencil and pen since we moved and never got around to unpacking my tablet.

I found it today after about an hour’s searching, but now I can’t find the stylus.

OH LOOK AT THE MASTER ARTIST. CAN'T USE THE MEDIUM THAT MAN HAS USED FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS TO EXPRESS HERSELF. NEED THE AWESOME POWER OF THE INTERNET TO MUSTER THAT FOR YOU, HUH?

It is, in fact, the Wednesday after Fat Tuesday which makes it a stupid fast day because I was born during Lent and ARGH I’m tired of fast days on my birthday. :(

... So eat. Seriously nothing bad will happen to you. When you die it's nothing for all eternity (perhaps coupled with the feeling of falling backwards).

Because other people’s dreams are totally interesting, right?

Wrong. Next post.

My friend says of them “I hate them. I hate them so much. I’ve always hated them, since I met them. Before I knew her, I hated them. They are foul.”

While you are a cunt, your friend sounds awesome.

What is your first reaction when someone says "I need to talk to you"?

"THAT AIN'T MY BABY!" Regardless of context or severity of what's about to follow.
Wow this does go on. That's it. The end.