Edie Finds a Corpse: touch your something I guess

Showing posts with label touch your something I guess. Show all posts

Monday, June 30, 2014

HARUBBUGGLBUG

Fuck blogs today I'm posting about this strange land.
Oh yeah real blog post from Edie Finds a Corpse look at me being a huge fucking hypocrite.
So South Korea is a strange and arcane land as I said. While your opinion of South Korea might vary from land of hot pop stars to land of about-to-be-nuked-by-North-Korea the reality is this is actually the land of anarchy.
The second you get two wheels laws cease applying to you. I have seen motorcyclists make an illegal left turn to cut across the opposite lane of traffic to run up on the sidewalk and almost hit people.
All this to avoid one red light. And by "avoid" I mean "run without getting killed".
I recommend finding the biggest group of middle age women and always walking with them.
If they go a different direction well that's too bad.
If you were headed to work well I guess today's a sick day for you. You need to stay alive and the biggest threat to you not being dead in South Korea is traffic.
Middle age women have the uncanny ability to not get hit by cars and also obstruct traffic.
They are the screen between you and red concrete, basically.
So if you want a job in South Korea a lot of people will tell you a lot of shit like oh
make sure the hours are good
make sure your apartment has a working toilet
make sure you get paid on time
no fuck that. All that was so 1990s. The first thing you gotta ask is hey is it in a building where a lot of middle age women go for yoga or a co-op or something
because if the answer is no you don't want to work there because you can't follow a gaggle of them into the building to screen you from the people playing Crazy Taxi irl.
The second thing you might hear is how cheap shit is.
That is true. 1 year of internet was 240 dollars.
Total.
This internet is somewhere in the neighborhood of 20-25 times faster down than American internet and 100-200 times faster up.
It's Google Fiber tier awesome.
If I can blink and the website isn't done loading 100% it's too slow.
I downloaded a 250 GB torrent to see how long it would take.
It took 2 hours.
Oh but it's not true about everything. Prepare to buy a bunch of bananas for 5 dollars.
Also bananas are like gold. In America you're charged per pound and you can tear off how many you want.
If you do that in Korea you get yelled at as I learned. Then they make you buy all of them.
There's a lady hawking the bananas at all times. Don't fuck with her.
You buy the bunch, so get a small bunch.
I mean short bananas.
Second issue: cellphone.
Hope you're sociable because without a Korean friend (and even with a Korean friend) that's like a 50/50 proposition.
I'm struggling to get one now and I have like 2 people helping me.
Third issue: holy fuck the lord is it humid here.
Fourth issue: a 5/10 in Korea is like a 7 or 8 out of 10 in America.
Prepare to be jaded and jaded fast.
A lot of people bitch about plastic surgery or whatever in Korea
and it's true they do get some procedures but whatever they're doing it's working for them.
Fifth issue: prepare to be a minor celebrity.
I live in Changwon which has a large western population.
By large I mean I've heard it's allegedly a few thousand people but I think the reality is closer to 250-300.
They don't see many of you.
I've head people ask to take selfies with me.
No fucking shit.
That was a common practice at a few schools I substituted at because I am that awesome but I didn't expect people on the street to do it.
Also prepare to get pulled into situations where they might want you to drink. If you are a recovering alcoholic don't come here.
You have to get good at drinking, too, because "know your limit" isn't part of the philosophy here. Learn how to nurse that one beer if you want to avoid being drunk 24/7.
Also there are no drinking laws. You can buy soju (read: rice vodka) at 7 AM on a Sunday and drink it in front of a cop in a child's park. No laws.
While I'm on the subject: soju isn't clearly labeled if you can't read Korean (and even if you can read those words) so you kind of have to know it's not water which I almost made that mistake once.
You'd think the price would be an indicator but you can buy a bottle that will get you fucked up for like 1,800 won. That's like 2 dollars.
And you can buy this at 7-11.
Basically what I'm trying to say is at any given night out in public there's a good chance someone will try to pump moonshine into you.
If you're new here and don't want to be drunk basically avoid anything in a glass bottle that isn't clearly coffee.
Sixth issue: don't go to Angel-in-Us Cafe.
If you're stupid like me you see "oh Korean knock off of Starbucks let's do it" if you're smart you'll see "oh, pretentious Starbucks knock off with angels and shit in it" and put the two together and realize a bagel and a regular hot coffee is going to run you about 10 entire dollars.
If you like Starbucks frappuccinos in those glass bottles because you're a white woman like I am come here because they're like a dollar.
Don't go into Starbucks though or prepare for sub-Angel Anus prices but not much better.
If you do like coffee go to the local coffee shop you fucking idiot because they're on literally every street corner. Not only will it be better some hot Asian girl will melt actual fresh chocolate into your coffee if you tell her to and it'll be like 3 bucks.
She will make the hell out of that coffee.
Seventh issue: Bread doesn't fit in toasters
Eighth issue: who the fuck designed this shit here why doesn't bread fit in toasters
Ninth issue: Prepare for no safety code. You can just wander into construction sites and there's no man that can stop you.
Tenth issue: in general no man can stop you. There are no laws.
I'm not entirely sure murder isn't legal here. I think just everyone is too polite to murder but if you wanted to you could.
Eleventh issue: there are no cops. When you see a cop you see 50 of them in like a parade. What are they doing? Getting yelled at by drunk Russians, obviously.
But as I said previously there's no law against public drunkenness so mostly they just stand there.
Also yeah 2 of my classes got cancelled again.
Fucking sweet.
Anyway that's my update today fuck off everyone

Monday, January 20, 2014

UUH

Let's do some Dear Abby because I doubt I can handle the social justice on Martin Luther King Day.
Bunch of white wahms moaning about black people.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school senior. At the beginning of the school year, I agreed to drive my best friend to school in the mornings, and for a while it was nice.Last month she started to refuse to talk while I was driving. If I tried talking to her, she wouldn't respond.

It happens.
No rhyme or reason for it. Just write her off and move on.

DEAR DRIVEN CRAZY: Your former best friend may have stopped talking to you on the way to school because she was too busy texting her boyfriend. She is ignoring the fact that you have been doing her the favor of transporting her and is using you as a private taxi service.
If she was frightened because you braked suddenly, the person she should have said it to was you. So stop "explaining" to her and tell her that if she wants to continue getting a free ride, she had better adjust her attitude or make other arrangements for transportation.

There you go.
Move on, amigo.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "George," and I have been married for 13 years. Last night he dropped a bombshell. He told me that while he loves me, he isn't happy. He assured me he has no inclination to divorce me, but he pretty much laid the entire reason for his unhappiness at my feet.
I don't handle people well. I love George and our son, but I am most relaxed and comfortable when I'm by myself. I don't neglect them. We do lots of stuff outside the house as a family. I have no close friends, and that's how I prefer it.
George's complaint is that I keep him from having friends. I have never tried to stop him. In fact, I have encouraged him to cultivate friendships and hang out with "the guys," join groups, etc. He says he can't do that and leave me at home. I wouldn't mind his going out, but it's nerve-racking for me to go.
Abby, in 13 years I don't think I have ever looked George or my son in the eye. It's not something I'm comfortable with. My husband knew how I was when he married me. What can I do? -- OKLAHOMA LONER

Sounds like some sort of anxiety problem to me.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started a new job. One of the management individuals has taken a strong interest in me. He keeps doing favors for me that benefit me financially and I appreciate it. (I have never asked him to do this.)

Why'd you do that?
Don't take favors when you know people will expect you to pay them back.
No sympathy here.

I have always been courteous and took his gestures as a sign of kindness.

>kindness
>people

DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old gay man who works in an office with 20 women.

Mmm honey I bet that office gets catty.

In the five years I have worked here, many of my co-workers have either gotten married or had children.

Our office has a tradition of throwing showers for the lucky ladies, and I am always asked to contribute money toward food for the party or an extravagant gift.

While I'm happy to donate to a charity or help a friend in need, I wonder if a wedding or a baby shower would be given for me?

No.
Literally no.
You're a man. You don't have baby showers. Two men are getting married--
no one is going to care about that.
Sorry to say but this is one sided giving.
It shouldn't be like that but what can you do?
You know really the mistake you made was giving something now with the perhaps vague expectation that in the future you'd get it paid back.
This is why I don't do position trades in the stock market. If it's going to make money it better be soonish or it's all empty promises and fairy dust.
All you have to do is look at any ETF to see what I mean.
The sooner you treat people like stocks the sooner you'll realize what they're about.

Am I selfish for feeling hesitant to donate money or gifts when it's likely the favor will never be returned? -- MINORITY MALE IN TEXAS

Categorically no. Your emotions are understandable, even.

DEAR MINORITY: I don't think you are selfish for feeling the way you do. In fact, it's understandable.

Thank you, Abby.
We are of one mind.

However, in the case of a wedding or baby shower, people give gifts as a way of offering congratulations and good wishes. And I would hope that, even if same-sex marriage isn't recognized by the state of Texas, your co-workers would do something to honor you if you had a spiritual ceremony, which some religious denominations offer.

Even though Abby was a little more positive she did say the magic word:
hope.
As it has been said: he who lives upon hope dies fasting.

DEAR ABBY: I am turning 60 and naturally looking a little "worn." My man friend keeps telling me I need a facelift and to lose 10 pounds, so I'm starting to save my money. Something tells me he wants a "hot chick" and thinks he'll have one once I get these procedures done. It's expensive. What do you think? -- LOOSE-FACED LOUISIANAN

Ave Caesar.
While your desire to please your mate is admirable you are also completely stupid.
60 year olds should be pleased with the way 60 year olds look. I hear this time and again from people my own age: "yeah but in 20 years she'll be ugly"
like yeah and in 20 years I'll also be old and ugly so what's the problem?
Further I think if he wants the procedure so bad he should pay for it.
If you're willing to do it that's your business but clearly as the man in the relationship he should be the man and also pay the bill.
Such is life.

DEAR ABBY: My family has been keeping a secret from my grandmother. I have a 17-month-old daughter that she doesn't know exists. I wanted to tell my grandma from the start about her great-granddaughter (her first), but I am afraid to. My family thinks that telling her will cause too much stress on her. No one in the family takes my feelings into consideration.
I think my grandmother should know she's a great-grandma. The problem is, I don't know how to tell her. She's 90 years old. I'm afraid if I say something now, it really might be too stressful for her. Also, I'm afraid that if I reveal this secret, it will start a family feud.
I want a relationship with my grandma like I used to have. I cry every time I talk to her on the phone because I have to lie to her about my day-to-day life and why I can't come to see her. I am really starting to resent my family. Please help.

What?
Why the secrecy?
Are you 17 and had it out of wedlock?
Also good Christ your grandmother is 90 years old. I think she can handle a little controversy.
Like I'm sure at 90 she hasn't seen some shit.
She has seen and done everything under the sun. Don't even be worried about it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who I have been friends with for years. However, there is one thing I can't stand about her. It's her vulgar language. Every sentence that comes out of her mouth includes the F-word. She's not a soft-spoken individual, so others can hear her. It embarrasses me and makes me not want to be around her in public.
How can I tell her she embarrasses me when she talks that way? -- SOFT-SPOKEN FRIEND

Grow a set.

A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY, COURTESY OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: "He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals."

Whoa I just quoted Benjamin Franklin.
My quote was better though.
Abby we are on the same page tonight.
In fact let's depart with some more wisdom from ol' Ben:

Kings have long Arms, but Misfortune longer:
Let none think themselves out of her Reach.

Truly a wise man.
The song of the now.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

2pro

Let's take a break from all these women blogging and go for a guy blogging.
You know what I say: all guys with blogs are gay.
Read this shit. I can almost see the fedora through the monitor.

I was in despair, I tell you: utter despair. There had been no sightings of any feathered beings anywhere near any of my feeders, bar only Black Phoebe the Tyrannical Flycatcher posing on the hanger while she watched for insects to massacre; I quite thought all my efforts to be in vain. Spurned, I felt. I did.

But I was just making a cup of tea, in the classic British manner, when I happened to glance out of the window - and lo! Hummer! Zooming around the feeder, trying the sunny side and the shady side alternately (I was worrying at five o'clock this morning, whether it would get too hot for the little birdies under our relentless sunshine), pausing on the hangar, being entirely darling. So that's okay.

How much money do you want to bet this queer is American?
And fat?

Today's good news: the bottle of vanilla extract didn't break, tho' it fell from a great height and not much like the gentle rain from heaven* upon the plates beneath.

Today's bad news: those plates. They did break.

M'wife says "So fucking what?", but, y'know. I get so sick tired of dropping things and breaking things and so forth, and yet I continue to do it.

He never says "my" it's always "m'" which really leads me to believe he's tipping his fedora every single time.
Like run through this thought exercise with me:
"my wife"
"m'wife"
"my lady"
"m'lady"
What do you think?
"My wife" = man with wife
"my lady" = knight
"m'wife" and "m'lady" seem like an incomplete thought. The clause needed to finish the thought would be "he said, tipping his fedora."

As with most of my bad habits and character flaws, come to think. I read once that short-sighted people are often clumsy, and I drew solace from that for years, decades; but solace wears thin in the end, I find.

Anyway. We get to buy new plates, yay?

Also I am instructed that I should point out that m'wife is taking shameless advantage of her inside track, and has posted a list of my award-eligible stories on her blog. Hrrumph.

(Also also, I hadn't realised quite how little I published last year. Good grief: what happened there?)

*Which, I might put out, we are still waiting for, here in NoCal.

>NoCal
>faggot doublespeak for "Northern California"
Got you you motherfucker.
You're not British. Stay where you belong, Amerifat.

Actually, at the moment I'm quite in favour of lists.

British spelling.
Do you hear that? It's the sound of neckbeard rubbing against double chin.
Actually I just found out his irl name (Chaz Brenchly dude what) and if you google him you can see he does indeed have a neckbeard but appears a reasonable weight. Also he's wearing a baseball cap but I feel that's just a replacement for the fedora.
Inside it's all fedora.

In my backpack I have put changes of jeans, of shirts, of underwear. I have a small pharmacopoeia of chemical aids and bathroom appurtenances. I have my phone, the Laptop of Utterable Delights and a spare little bag full of cables. I have my sunglasses and my reading glasses. I have a book and my Kindle (and, again, my phone: now with Kindle app applied).

I do believe I may be ready for a day and a night in the city.

"laptop of utterable delights"
"laptop filled with porn"

So I have all this lovely goose fat, which as we know is yummyscrump for roasting potatoes. What I'm wondering, though, is how else I might splendidly use it. I don't really have enough for a pot of confit, alas; but in any case, I'm thinking of more general uses. F'rexample,

I'm sorry, can you run that by me again with none of the pretention?
Oh that's right you can't because you just seriously asked Dreamwidth how to use goose fat.

I came home this morning with a lovely piece of skirt steak*, which I am browning for tonight. Is it wasteful of me to be browning it in goose fat, or will that make a blessed contribution to the complexities of flavour...?

I did also come home with small quantities of various rices, for purposes of playing with the new toy. And yet, and yet - we are not eating rice tonight. This is because I am an Imp of the Perverse, and I want to make beef stew in a pumpkin. Because I can.

*The word "steak" is added here purely to obviate and head off at the pass any tendency among my readership to go "fnar, fnar". Or local equivalent.

I'm going to need a minute to decompress after reading that.

Redefinery: where crude language is converted into smooth innocuous prose. Lede-free.

I'm going to need another minute.
In fact brb I'm going to play a game of League of Legends and take this out on hapless idiots.
Jesus that didn't even help.
Uhhhh.

M'wife has the sleeping sickness.

Isn't that seriously fatal?
How'd she get that?
You only get that in Africa.
Like deep Africa.
Like the Congo.
What's happening?

Down to the farmers' market this morning, for the usual round of fruits and veggies - strawberries, raspberries, broccolini, fennel, kale, brussels sprouts, beetroots, Chinese beans, chocolate from the nice Vice lady* - and also to drop in at Leigh's bookstore, where she was hosting three local foodie writers.

The note is talking about chocolate being a vegetable.
But it's not. It's a seed, technically.
I know because I just googled it.

I just spent a thousand bucks on lumber for the fencing.

I should like it noted, though, that at least I did it in American. Bucks, you say? Lumber? Very well...

So let me tell you about League of Legends.
I suck.
Then I get a bit better and a magic number in the game starts matching me with better people.
Then I suck again.
Until I learn--
Then the magic number goes up and I suck again.
I can't see this number but it must be there because I'm facing increasingly tougher competition.
It's like Caesar says. Better first in a village than second in Rome but okay, at this rate I can be first in Rome.
But whoa hold on. I was used to everyone sucking so hard they couldn't even buy their own champions so I'd just play all the free rotation once and I'd at least know what everyone was going to try to do a bit.
But now I've rotated up enough that people can buy their own champions.
So besides the usual free rotation (because they're not that good yet to just not use free rotation) I'll encounter at least 3 people using shit I've never even seen.
Like spike turtle man. Apparently named Rammus?
Then Vlad the gay vampire who is surprisingly not bad at all--
And nothing prepares you for this. You just get in range and hope you don't die to a move you didn't know existed until five seconds ago.
Meanwhile half your team is screaming at you for dying too much because you've never even seen half this shit before and you're too busy telling them how you're going to find where they live and staple their lips to their own assholes if they don't shut the fuck up about how bad you are because you've only been playing this fucking game for a week and I'd like to see how fucking good you were the first week in--
it's all very stressful.
But if you go 14/7 with Ahri because you've been studying a lot about how she works no one says a fucking thing.
Basically the quest to not be a scrub lord is intense and fraught with screaming middle schoolers.
Much like teaching.

That may be the first time I've ever fried a strawberry.

Welcome to Freedom.
So what the fuck am I supposed to do for the song of the day huh
All I've been listening to all day is gay Korean pop.
So I guess it'll have to be that.
Oh by the way don't get excited and think the girls are going to kiss at the end. I've seen this video 197 times and they don't.
So let me explain to you what this group is about.
Much like all pop bands created by committee they're all the same so the thing to set this one apart is they're all slutty.
You'd think someone would try a group that can sing.
That's ostensibly The Wonder Girls (I know a lot about Korean pop, ok) but the thing is they can't sing either so I don't know what that's about.
I guess they did have that song Nobody from like 2003 or something but that doesn't count because I don't think any of those members are still in the band.
Then there's all the bands that kind of blend together in their mediocrity.
KARA
miss A
Girl's Day
Afterschool
These are real. You can look these up. It might sound like I'm making up but I promise you I am not.
Then there's all the single singer spin offs from previous girl groups like Hyuna and Gain--
am I going insane?
What am I talking about?
Then it gets really confusing when the Korean girl groups cross over with Japanese has beens or never weres--
like when Afterschool did a song with Namie Amuro.
That's a thing I listened to.
That's not even the most obscure Asian music thing I know. I have a CD of Matsubara Miki's greatest hits in my car.
That's a Japanese bossa nova singer who had a couple of minor hits in the late 70s and early 80s.
That's a thing I know about.
Is this being a weeaboo or is this neurosis at this point?
No wait that's not the most obscure thing about Asian music I know.
Midori Kinouchi's 1979 one hit wonder Yokohama Eleven is.
That's a song you can listen to on Youtube if you want.
89 people have listened to it.
How do I know this
am I going insane?

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Ha

Wow it feels like a week since I last updated.
Oh shit I'm sorry.
I found a blog that I was going to review but then I found out it was in character and it was like a roleplay/fanfic thing.
Bad sign when your fanfic is so boring I think it's really you posting.
The only sign I had that it wasn't actually a real person was the line "I'm a spy."
Either you're the worst spy ever or the best spy ever.
I found another blog that was good but it just started--
more fanfic crap--
here we go.
That was a tough one.

If you begin an essay with, "I don't really know much about..." and then have the gall to carry on writing for five paragraphs, I don't know why I or anyone else should bother to read it.

If you're ignorant, shut up or find something by someone who's not ignorant and read it. If you aren't ignorant about a given topic, don't start off insisting that you are. You don't look suitably humble, you just look like a tool.

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took

But I do know that

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU NOT GONNA FINISH IT.

I have started but not finished about four books in the last week. I don't think I will finish Sherwood Smith's Crown Duel, because I got about two chapters in and realized all the characters annoyed me. I am not sure if I will pick up Ekaterina Sedia's The Alchemy of Stone again, because it is very Manic Pixie Dreamgirl. I am probably going to finish Walter Mosley's Little Green, because it is a Walter Mosley novel and he is a sufficiently good prose stylist that I can get through even a substandard volume, which I don't think this is.

Huh yeah that's cool meanwhile in the land of stories that aren't fucking gay I'm reading Vulkan Lives.

Turns out the reason Vulkan lives is because he's a perpetual like John Grammaticus and therefore can't die.

Oh by the way if you don't want the story spoiled you might not want to read that previous sentence.

But why is he a perpetual?
Did the Emperor do that on purpose or is it like Sanguinius' wings?

If it was on purpose, why?

WHO KNOWS.

The Unremembered Empire is going to be off the fucking chain though.

Look how fucking metal this cover is.

Folks, when I write a lengthy post about something I think is cool, and explain why I think it's cool even though it's challenging to figure out at first, and two different people respond with, "I still hate it," I don't have a civil response.

>Reading all those words

har not today, asshole.

If, despite my reasonable and articulate arguments, you haven't read Homestuck, now is your last opportunity to do so while there is some surprise left about how things will end.

I tried to read Homestuck once and I got bored somewhere around the 60th comic mark and there still wasn't the semblance of a plot and the rules were still being explained like the comic is some kind of RPG from the late 90s/early 2000s.

THIS IS HOW YOU JUNCTION MAGIC TO A WEAPON.

But what Hussie is doing, when you scrape away the in-jokes and the sex muppets and the shipping and the deliberately-bad art and everything else (and some days that takes a LOT of scraping), is structurally different from anything that's happened in comics before. So reading it is work, especially at first. And what I hear from friends, recurrently, is that they think it is too much work.

Good stories shouldn't be told in a complicated manner. The story should stand on its own.

When you have to do gay tricks like this it tells me you don't have much to say.

Opened a romance novel I bought last night and in the first paragraph, the protagonist is swearing "in his mother's native Mexican."

I'm...I'm not even sure where to go with that. I think it'll be more fun if I choose to believe he speaks Nahuatl.

I still contend the greatest opening to a book would be the line from Geto Boy's "Straight Gangstaism":

cigarette in one hand

drink in the other

leanin' to one side

cooler than a motherfucker

Tell me you wouldn't read that.

Reading state curriculum standards: in kindergarten, my kids are supposed to develop the ability to "distinguish wants from needs."

Yeah the state curriculum for 9th grade English includes such gems as "students will be able to form a coherent argument and back it up with original logic with evidence."

Most adults can't even do that.

I don't expect to be futzing around on the work Pinterest account before bed and stumble on a picture of a severed human penis.

I mean, no. That is not work-safe. That is not within my remit. That is not the fuzzy bunnies and teapots and bizarre diet recipes and umpteen kerjillion pictures of the Romanovs native to the Pinterest I know and use for work-related purposes. Yuck yuck yuck.

>On the internet

>bitching about seeing a severed penis

how new are you to the internet?

I see weirder shit at 8 AM than that on an average day.

In fact my reaction if, at the end of the day, I haven't seen outrageous gore pictures my reaction is "holy shit I wasn't on the internet at all today."

Internets, I will not entertain the possibility that fiction written in the first person is inferior to that written from any other point of view.

I will give you not one, but two reasons why. To wit:

The reason first person is shit is because a lot of the mystique of interesting main characters is ruined when you realize their internal monologue is often as boring as your own.

Your reasons are irrelevant. This is reality.

It is a truth generally acknowledged -- I mean, around here, not, like, at my place of business -- that I have done some kinky stuff in my time.

But little in my experience has proven as disturbing, painful, unsatisfying, or producing of distressing marks in the genital regions (when something says it is "safe for use on the bikini area," I don't expect it to leave any part of said "bikini area" covered in very large splotchy bruises) as the Sally Hansen All-Over Body Brazilian Wax Kit, Just Heat In Microwave.

I see no problem with smearing something you just put in the microwave on your crotch.

Girls are dumb.

It would take a more creative mind than mine to make this product fun, but for those of you who enjoy inflicting pain on others, let me just say, this is absolutely the most perverse thing I have ever bought at the Target on a Friday night.

Ow ow ow ow.

And to add insult to injury, it didn't particularly get rid of the undesirable hair, either.

I can't believe normal ladies do stuff like this on a regular basis. I mean, I am working hard at the Convincing Impression of Girlyness (I am totally getting good at putting on eyeliner, too, I hardly ever have to do the "it's a smoky eye, it's not that I totally can't draw on my face competently" thing any more), but jesus fuck. There are some girl skills I don't think I can acquire, and waxing is one of them.

Surprise!

What, you thought this was just a normal girl?
HOW WRONG YOU WERE, ASSHOLE.

NO ONE ON THE INTERNET IS USUAL.

Folks, you know that I feel strongly that in a nation as rich as the United States, it's ludicrous that not everyone can afford medical care. I also feel strongly that birth control is a good idea and should be made freely available, and I oppose recent conservative efforts to limit women's access to birth control.

So is it double ridiculous when I could afford healthcare but now can't?

I'm not sure how you fuck that up, speaking of.

In your quest to make healthcare more affordable I went from being able to afford it to not being able to afford it.

That's the opposite of your goal.

Fuck.

Song of the now.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Whoa what

Low blow I understand but what the fuck is up with your hair, friend?

The premise is sound enough: let's take a day to remember those who fought, and in many cases died, to protect our homeland, our communities, and our way of life. My father, for instance, was an infantryman in General Patton's Third Army, and fought at The Bulge and the Siegfried Line. The enemy he faced was perhaps the most profoundly evil force in human history, Nazi Germany. My father survived the war and is now in his 90th year of life, but many of his comrades were not so lucky. Do they not deserve the honor and remembrance of a grateful nation? Of course they do.

But what about the other wars -- wars fought not to defend anyone's home or loved ones, but to rob other peoples of their lands, resources, or sovereignty?

>being this stupid
Yes I'm sure the Germans were aware of how evil they were. They definitely weren't just calling themselves the good guys and the British/Americans/Russians/whatever the invaders.

How are the men and women who fight in these wars much different from the German soldiers my father fought? And if we honor such veterans, what about the 100,000+ Iraqi and Afghan civilians and as many as as three million Vietnamese who died at their hands? If Americans killed more Indochinese civilians than Pol Pot, one of the most infamous mass killers of the twentieth century, how is our celebration of Veterans' Day much different from Japan's Yasukuni Shrine, which honors the soldiers and sailors who died in that country's wars of aggression?

Just take the day off and shut up for real.

...the fifth of November, the gunpowder treason and plot.
I know of no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.

What might the world be like had Guy Fawkes succeeded in blowing up Parliament and King James I/VI?

Does anyone else wonder why Americans celebrate the foiled attempt of an English terrorist to overthrow monarchy?
Outside of, you know, V for Vendetta and general internet idiocy.
In general Americans should be in favor of Guy Fawkes and the Gunpowder Plot yet the famous nursery rhyme kind of takes the opposite approach.

I hate making decisions when I am feeling intense emotion. I almost always make the wrong choice.

I only make decisions while angry.

In the spring of 1979, as I prepared to graduate from college, I applied for a job at the NSA. I went to Fort Meade, Maryland, where they were headquartered, for an interview. Then I heard nothing from them for about a year, by which time my career aspirations had taken a different direction. They asked me back for a second interview, but I told them I was no longer interested.

1979 you graduated college--
I was -8 at that time--
and here you are posting on Dreamwidth.
Where did you go so horribly wrong with your life, friend?

I've used a succession of phones including two Blackberries and my current Mororola Razr, and I've hated every one of them. Last night I plugged in my phone to charge and went to bed. This morning I had to go to NH, and among the things I took with me was the phone. When I got to my destination, I noticed that it was only 30% charged, and during the course of the day that dropped to 15% and then zero. This thing does not have a replaceable battery, and it is less than a year old.

It's also inconvenient to use, and things like passwords are impossible to type reliably by anyone with fingers larger than a small child's. And every few months it gets a software "update" that makes it even less convenient; the first one took away my ability to connect to my computer with a USB cable, and the latest one made file transfers via Bluetooth a major chore.

If these things are supposed to be the wave of the future, why do they leave me longing for a Morse code key?

This editorial brought to you by some yahoo.
IF THESE THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE WHY DO THEY LEAVE ME LONGING FOR MORSE CODE KEY?
A HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE

At church today our minister described his Boston Marathon run, the cheers and encouragement he got from spectators along the route, including a group of parishioners camped out at the church, the delightful weather of last Monday, his feeling of triumph as he crossed the finish line, turning to wait for his wife, who was also running, and then... the explosions, the bedlam, people running to help the injured, two hours of anxious searching for his wife, and a tearful reunion. I wish I had recorded it.

Ok.
Must suck living in Boston.

Every time I log into LiveJournal, I get an email entitled "Login to LiveJournal from unrecognized location".

Unrecognized location? The IP address is always the same, and I rarely log in from any other. What's the matter with these people?

Considering this is Dreamwidth I think you might have other problems.

I am an agnostic. I do not claim to know if there are no Gods, one God, or seventy Gods.

But I do sing in a church choir, and after church when I got in my car, I turned on WHRB. They were broadcasting the service from Memorial Church, and I heard a beautiful pefformance of Thomas Tallis's "If Ye Love Me (Keep My Commandments)". That's an anthem for Pentecost, not the first Sunday in Advent. It's six months out of season. It's like singing Christmas carols in June.

I don't know why that bothers me, but it does.

Must be nice having nothing at all to worry about in life.

Somebody on dailykos.com asked whether a sustainable human presence on Earth is possible under capitalism. I remarked that capital is like yeast; it wants to keep gobbling up resources until it drowns in its own waste, and in the age of "globalization" no government in the world is strong enough to stop it.

Whoaaaaa.
Capitalism is like yeast.
Deep.

One of the things I've come to realize is that nothing, no matter how well or long established, can last forever. The Soviet Union was a great power in 1985, an unassailable fact to be reckoned with since time immemorial, yet all the Party's tanks, ships, and nuclear weapons couldn't hold it together, and it would be gone in six short years.

This is totally how history works. Shit just collapses and is gone forever into the void.
Soviet Russia was a like a clean shit where you don't have to wipe. Just one and done.

There are more descendants of Germans in the United States than descendants of English, yet we speak English not German.

Presumably, we speak English because the English spoke English. But unless I misremember, Britain was the only major province of the Roman empire in which a Germanic language came to be generally spoken, most of the former western provinces retaining a Latin-derived language despite invasion and conquest by Franks, Lombards, Goths, or other Germanic peoples.

>England
>major Roman holding
OK.

The Visigothic kingdom of Spain lasted from the fifth century until the early eighth, when it fell to Arabs; yet Spain retains its Romance languages today and no trace of Gothic survives. Yet in Britain, Latin was replaced quickly by English,

Well after Rome was on its decline--
Also Britain never "replaced" Latin as its main language because Latin was never the main language of England.
Maybe stop talking about Rome now plz before you keep embarrassing yourself.

and not even three centuries of rule by French-speakers after the Norman conquest would change that.

Yeah, you know. When English was replaced by French.
That's why England and America speak French now.
Do you proofread this shit at all?

In the east, where the empire survived the era of Germanic incursions, Greek not Latin became the dominant language in the areas that were not lost to the Arab conquests of the seventh century. But Iran, which fell to the Arabs at the same time, still speaks Persian.

Yet in one eastern Roman province -- Dacia -- the Latin language survived to become modern Romanian, a Romance island surrounded by Slavs and Magyars.

Weird, huh?

Yes. Greek had a resurgence in the East.
The Greeks stopped speaking Greek and picked up Latin only to pick Greek back up when Rome declined--
are you fucking joking?
Rome always worked with two dominant languages. Greek and Latin.
So if I'm to understand this yahoo's post correctly Latin was replaced by modern English which was replaced by modern French in England and Greek had a revival a la Hebrew in the early ADs--
Jesus Christ, buddy.
Read a fucking book sometime.

Why, in the middle of yet another global panic, as the economy continues to unravel, is Barack Obama vacationing in Martha's Vineyard?

Perhaps, Mr. President, you should try your hand at the fiddle. It would help drown out the noise all those annoying Romans are making as they watch their houses burn.

Nero didn't fiddle while Rome burned as the fiddle wasn't invented ye--

oh right, sorry.

Thought we were still on the topic of being smug and wrong about Roman history at the same time.

So far, I'm unimpressed. Both SSD's in my laptop are now unreliable after three years of use. I've ordered a new SSD, and in the meantime am trying to see if I can use a Flash drive as a stopgap.

But so far, it's looking like old fashioned mechanical disk drives are better. They are cheaper, more reliable, and last longer. I wouldn't buy another SSD right now if my laptop could take a conventional drive.

>letting packed-in disk sweepers sweep your shit every week

WHY DO MY SSDs BREAK AFTER A WEEK

I guarantee this is what is happening.

You gotta turn the defragger off, bro.

Take care of your fragments yourself like an adult.

You get pretty pretentious about technology and history. You can swing it.

I learned that in 1985, 75% of a UMass Boston undergraduate student's tuition was paid by the state, while today the state pays only about 25%. Increasingly, UMB students come from households earning at least $85,000 to $100,000 a year. About 1,200 of them live in luxury waterfront apartments immediately adjacent to the campus. They probably pay $2,000 to $3,000 a month in rent.

Are we moving back toward the pre-World War II era when college was accessible only to a moneyed elite? If so, this is surely another consequence of the tearing up of the Roosevelt-era social contract since 1980 by the special interests and their (mostly, but not exclusively) Republican hired guns.

>social contract

>The Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Thirteen

What's it like being this delusional?

It amazes me to see immense cuts looming in government social programs that help poor and middle class people while the super-rich are rewarded with tax cuts, and there is not a whimper of protest coming from anyone but a few isolated liberals. I see a vast chasm looming in front of our country and the tea partiers are urging us right over the edge of the cliff.

Then I inform people that both the Democrats and the Republicans are Neo-liberal and everyone flips shit.

A few years ago, I set out to read the Qur'an from cover to cover in the original Arabic. I got as far as the beginning of Sura 3 (Al-i-`Imran) before getting sidetracked, and I think it's time to take it up again. I would like to recover something of the Arabic I studied for four years back in college.

There was an intriguing article in a magazine a while back that claimed that the standard story that the Qur'an was compiled in its present form in the time of Caliph `Uthman (644-656 by our calendar) is wrong; that it may have evolved over several centuries; and that Muhammad may have been more a legend than a historical person.

Oh, what, like the Bible and Jesus?

You mean people who have an axe to grind about the historicity of their holy book might not be totally honest with themselves about the historical reality of their chosen book?

Color me fucking shocked.

Certainly there are aspects of it that need explaining; for instance, several Hebrew names, such as Isaac, are close enough to their Arabic equivalents that they should have been easily understood by Arab listeners, yet seem not to have been. If "Yitzhaq" means "he laughs", that is "yad.haq" in Arabic, but the Qur'an spells the name "Ishaq", which is meaningless. Ishmael, Israel, and Abraham are similarly rendered incomprehensible. Yeshua (Jesus) is called Yasu` by Christian Arabs, yet the Qur'an names him `Isa. And John, which ought to have come out Yuhannan or some such, is Yahya. Could these names and the tales in which they figure have come into Arabic from Greek, Persian, or some other non-Semitic source?

Or maybe the scribes who copied the Quran down originally weren't perfectly literate themselves.

This might be shocking to modern people but back in the day spelling wasn't standardized and literacy was an especially rare thing to have.

Following on my previous post, I know that a number of y'all don't listen to the radio.

What could radio stations do differently that might get you to listen?

Basically be totally unlike radio.

Fewer commercials, better music, better disc jockeys--

Fuck.

Song of the now.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Oh God I gotta read all this

Get ready for a lesson in boredom.
3 guesses what this fucking blog is about.

i'm not very good at understanding friendships. i am really good with boundaries primarily because i'm cautious as shit. it was really recently that i found some of my friends really liked getting physical, so i went from "i only touch and fuck my (now ex-)girlfriend" to "i cuddle some friends, i compliment and am affectionate to a lot of my friends, i have fucked some friends, i have made out with some friends" etc. etc. etc.

and it's very confusing.

Entitled "one moment while I say this" like anyone cares.
Ever been in a college class and there's that person that prefaces every answer with a personal story?
Welcome.
Welcome to that in blog form.

i can't tell what the hell love is. romantic love, specifically. i just kind of show mass affection for the people in my life as a whole, but focusing on a single person, making one person special, that's really difficult. and i suspect the answer may be just stopping the physical affection. making it so that i focus on a partner, you know?

This is about the time you start affixing labels like they're going out of style.
I'M A POLYAMOROUS SEX-POSITIVE CISGENDER--

i've recounted this story to friends enough to feel tired of talking about it, so i will just keep it brief.

i work at a book sale on campus; i've done this used book-selling job for the past two years. and this year, for the big big sale this past month, i worked bag check. and by chance i was assigned to partner with a new girl. and by chance this new girl and i got along really fucking well. she and i seemed to immediately form a total understanding. i have a number of neurotic tendencies when i meet new people; i micromanage the conversation, i overlook how i'm coming off, i try to control the image from the inside. and after the shift, when she wanted my number to keep in contact and to go out for coffee, she did the same thing, and it was refreshing to just say that it's totally fine. i'm the same way.

So I guess this is a guy but goddamn.
Like I still can't believe it.

and this continued into a lot of areas regarding thought patterns; i mean, we have a lot of differences in how we use technology, the books we like (to a degree), etc. etc. i got the impression at first that she was crushing, but apparently how she acted -- playfully, physically affectionate -- was just platonic. and i felt okay with this, after we clarified everything. but a part of me is like, well, shit, sophia, are you crushing on a straight girl?

Oh.
I'm glad, actually.
Good. It's a woman. At least we know sometimes up is up and down is down.
CRUSHING ON A STRAIGHT GIRL!?
Are you sure you're in college?
You just used "crushing" as a verb and you didn't mean to press.
This is like middle school psychology.

i don't know what crushing is anymore.

the fact that i even read what she did as something beyond friendship is just some token of my understanding of male-female relationships; i have had little experience talking to other women, as in, from scratch, who read me as cis.

WOOO LABELS.

it's so easy to wax poetic, to speak like i'm ginsberg, without buddhist transcendentalism or the pedophilia apologism.

You know it really is easy to wax poetic about pedophilia apologists.
I'm speaking from experience.
As a poet and a pedophile and a pedophile apologist.
Wait--

okay, so, i am beginning to detest the transgender label. but i feel somewhat ashamed of that, because, well, i am transgender. it feels way more right to wave my freak flag, to represent who i am, on a technical level, in reality. it only came to mind a half hour ago, though — i was writing up some kind of biography for this site, and was about to write "trans girl," or "trans lady," or "trans woman," but all of them conveyed a not-me image. it felt like it was giving the reader the wrong idea, the imagination of myself as some tall, skinny, flat-chested person looking for pity? and i mean, that's just my own image, that's just my internalised transphobia, my self-hate.

So the biological gender iiiiiiiiiiis...
I don't know.
This might be the first time (maybe, don't quote me on that) that the biological gender has been explicitly stated but it's too confusing to read correctly.

but that doesn't mean ditching a label entirely, does it? like — it's not like i am just distanced from the reality of eighteen years of manhood and testosterone, etc. it's that i feel weird about how seeing the words, and not seeing me, can influence people into believing i am less attractive than i am. bam! vanity.

so really, the issue is that inside, i believe i am hotter than the trans label would imply. wow i'm awful.

So biological man who claims to be a straight woman (so that means--)
and--
UHHHHH--

but i can spill some secrets.

i had a girlfriend once; I was seventeen and she was eighteen and we were classmates in a high school film class. the class focused on symbolism and framing and characters, like an applied English class; she focused on me one day and started talking and i focused on her and we fell in love like a recovering agoraphobe. we took a few steps and slowly learned to breathe.

And like a man with his one week chip from anger management I am quivering with repressed fury.
I was informed by my biggest reader that Monday's entry was phoning it in and I can't disagree so I'm trying to bring it today.
Can you believe that was a fucking serious attempt at an analogy?
Our romance is like a recovering agoraphobe because it's one step at a time and breathing slowly HUE HUE HUE HUE
I mean fuck off, Jesus.

who was i? hard question, i must have been some smug douche: the high school had uniforms, it was catholic, i wore a sweatshirt every day. i had a pea coat and a flat cap and thick black glasses, i had bushy black hair and no facial hair. i was male, but ashamedly so, and i thought i knew everything (i was mistaken; now i know everything).

Oh good.
Glad to see lessons were learned about being a smug douche.

and her? she had hair down to her ass and she was two inches taller than me. we were scared of intimacy but looking for partners. she liked Monty Python so I bought the complete collection to fake interest. we went to libraries and watched movies together and slowly grew closer together; her mother's couch cushions felt like opposite shores at first but easily turned into street block demarcations and then individual sidewalk pieces. it was easier to meet; and we were stuck.
but so much happened. university, and I had to gender transition, and her mental illnesses were coming to a head. we needed each other but it was destroying our self-care.
she dumped me last month and we fucked in her back seat a week later

This is a great story.

and we're meeting again tomorrow, after a week of her telling me to never talk to her again
christ, anonymous, I love her but I don't know where my head is. I envision us as this super cool duo of hot ladies, sipping coffees and reading cool books and dismantling the patriarchy okay I realise that phrase has become diluted and cheapened by casual use.

Jesus Christ can you believe that was a sentence someone typed?
Like in all your years
of living on this earth
as a person
did you ever think you'd read something that pretentious?

but in this fantasy are we lovers or friends? or lovers and friends. or lovers but friends.
I don't know where the lines are or what they mean, I just want to keep her safe from harm and fuck her brains out. I just want to laugh with her and make out on the couch.
I want us to be the beautiful art that creates other beautiful artworks
one big tribute to some creator; but let's face it, I made myself — body and identity — myself.

I WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL ART
come on, me. If this wacko can get a girlfriend surely I can manage somehow.

and what am i doing here, you ask. you are me, but you are also a potential reader, god save your soul. i am yet another pseudo-intellectual twentysomething transgender woman on livejournal; i am the antidote.

Antidote?
To fucking what?
You know any antidote taken in excess becomes poison.
I kind of feel like that's where we are now with this kinda blog.
There's so much of it surely the wound has become septic and it's time to just cut blogging from the internet entirely.

i am implausibly awake at 3 in the morning and i possess a 6am wake time. i am a masochist, a beautiful disaster, and i have feelings to share; we all have spare blood to shed and the internet has so many containers for it. the internet is not a series of tubes it is senseless bloodshed and the emotions of a billion people coalesced.

We all have spare blood to shed.
I have no blood.
Instead of blood I have boiling acid and piss.

i have to stop talking to boys entirely, apparently.

is there some kind of sign on my back that says “sophia’s single, boys! have at her!” ? why the hell is it that whenever i just have a conversation with a guy they think i’m picking them up?

i was at the u of t computer shop and got to talking to the clerk about old tech and how i’m nostalgic for 1999 cd burners and then we talked about gattaca and other sci-fi movies and he called a 90s movie “old” and i said that’s not very old, i’m a film major and we look at way older stuff all the time.

Older than the 90s?
Impossible.
Also who wants to bet none of this fucking happened?

and he talked about how at sheridan he used to make movies and then gave me his contact information to “talk movies sometime, i know a lot about movies, trust me, ok see you film major girl”

and then i went to the robarts media commons like right after and watched ‘mean streets’ to try and catch up in some capacity, and the guy beside me started talking about how he couldn’t understand his film much, so i try and talk it out and help him like critically engage with film and then when i was done my film and i left he came out and we kept talking and then when i said i had to go home he said “can i take you out to dinner” and my mind went, what

Don't end sentences on italics, thanks.
Blogger has difficulty taking no for an answer once they're on.
Also: none of this shit happened. I was making a joke before but now I am 100% convinced.

and i didn’t know how to shake him, i didn’t want to break his heart. i let him have my number and told him my name and he said he liked my last name and i said i don’t really like it, it’s so italian, and he asked if i was italian and i said i’m half italian and half french and he said “oh that’s why you’re so beautiful” and i’m like no stop hitting on me please i am not in a headspace to date right now and he said no pressure, take it easy, he kept touching me and saying take it easy, and said i’m so interesting, i’m so fascinating, he really wants to take me out sometime, it’ll be great.

and now he’s texting me and i just don’t know what to do, a boy has never asked me out before
Oh I know a good way to shake them:

I HAVE A BIG SWINGING DICK WITH 8 INCHES OF FORESKIN.
Also you might not have noticed due to the sneaky way I don't copy entire entries (ain't no one got time for that) but the second-to-last entry was actually the intro entry.
Because, you know, talking about getting hit on by boys (!) is far more important than a proper introduction.
Further proof this shit didn't happen.
Also har har not to cut an entry short or anything but that is the end of this blog.
I have read all there is.
I wrote a paragraph about banning transsexuals from this blog but then I realized I'd have nothing to review so I deleted it.
Never mind, never mind.
Also I tried to find something as pretentious and fucking gay as this blog and I think I did it.
Yeah that's Kajagoogoo.
But wait, you might be saying. Kajagoogoo isn't obscure. They had their one hit called Too Shy.
Yeah that's true, I'd say, but this is their OTHER HIT.
Oh yeah, Kajagoogoo. The one hit wonder with two hits.
Also I realized in my desire to phone it in as hard as I could I forgot yesterday's song of the day.
Well. If Kajagoogoo got you rock hard it's not too late to start bringing yourself to climax.
Like I realized yesterday you're not getting the full experience of what it's like to listen to music with me.
Kajagoogoo, Girl's Generation and Geto Boys will often play back to back to back or combinations that improbable.
Ohhh goodness.
Anyway fuck blogs.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Thanks for fuck nothing

Jack had this to say in one of my recent entries:

Hahaha. If some random on the internet pisses you off that much, you need to take some midol and have a lie down.

Harrrr good work stealing one of my jokes, dipshit.
Then when I check to see if you have a blog I can make fun of I see your account is fucking empty.
So either I already made fun of it on Livejournal and you're the one who needs a Midol or you're a pussy who better check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Also thank you, Jack.
Anyone reading this can say GREAT POST I LAUGHED A LOT but for me to piss you off so much you had to bitch at me about it?
Wow that's like a real accomplishment.
That took additional suffering on your part to tell me that.
So thanks. Bang up job.

So the dealer is upping the antidepressant and I see him again in two weeks.

Always a good start to a blog.

I hate the pain scale. Y'know the one. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad does it hurt?" It's relative bullshit.

I had a compound fracture in my left wrist. Chipped off a piece of my radius. I looked down at my wrist, saw that it was dislocated, and tried to push it back into place. I stopped when I felt it grinding against something. I then picked up my fifty-pound bike and walked a mile home. I passed out about halfway. Dunno how long but after I came to I picked up the bike and walked the rest of the way home. I have a plate in that wrist now. You can feel it. Used to be able to feel the screws where the came out the other side of the bone but that's calcified over by now.

3edgy5me bro

So.

Here's where I open up and tell the entire internet what I haven't told anyone for two solid weeks.

I've been suicidal.

Not my normal "Gosh, wouldn't it be lovely if a meteor fell out of the sky and landed on me" suicidal, more like "I have a lot of shotgun shells. But I can't use the shotgun because I promised James I wouldn't. Damn it. The trigger pull for the Mosin is probably too hard for my toes and anyway I don't know where I put the ammo for that" suicidal.

Breach loader, yeah?
I mean not to encourage you or anything.

I seriously considered withdrawing from all my classes and checking into a psych ward today.

I'm not going to. That's running away and I am stronger than that. But the fact that I seriously considered it terrifies me.

SENSING A THEME YET?

Sometimes I wish mental illness was contagious. Not the lifelong debilitating form I've got, just that I could swap out with someone sane for twenty-four hours. They get to experience what it's like firsthand and I get to function. Win/win, right?

I'm a horrible person, aren't I?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
READING THIS ON A FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh here we go
no subject on this one.
Gotta agree I'm 18 or older--
let's see what this is about (as if I couldn't fucking guess)

So my management textbook has already pissed me off. Under a sidebar that reads "Most Acts of Workplace Bullying Are Men Attacking Women" there is a long rambling thing that does not mention sexual harassment once and ends with four steps to "cope with your bully."

Oh.
Actually I couldn't guess.

It has not been a good month. Somewhere around the beginning the Madness Season hit and hit hard. I faked it. Thought it was situational because there was (is) some stress in my life and the lives of the people around me and I wasn't handling it well so the mental shit must have been related to that, right?

Problem is, if I don't catch it early enough, and I did not, it doesn't matter if it's situational or not. My brain goes spiraling down the garden path and there's really jack shit I can do to stop it except fuck around with medication.

So we fucked around with the medication. We moved two up, then moved one down, then decided it wasn't working entirely and moved me over to something that has similar side effects of possibly coming down with SJS (YAY) with the added bonus of possible seizures. Haven't seized yet so I seem to be good so far. I have to take the new pill every 12 hours. May pick up a keychain pillbox because this is one of the larger pill bottles I've seen.

YEAH THERE IT IS.

I don't know why I'm bothering to post this because I'm damn sure no one reads this at this point but there's a small smidgeon of hope that's the depression talking so here ya go.

I've been oscillating since Saturday. Not yesterday, last week. Not a mixed episode, those are different. Flipping between the poles rapidly. It's fun.

Had a depressive episode on Friday. Reached out for help and it was gladly given and gladly received.

UUUUUUUUH.
So how about that stock market, huh?
Can you believe that shit?

Yesterday was bad. I thought I was doing okay and there was a party I felt obligated to go to so I gathered up whatever shreds of willpower I could find and willed myself as close to sanity as I could. I was still twitchy because I was manic yesterday but I was doing okay at the party until everyone and their fucking dog showed up.

It's the government closing, you know.
Shaken the faith in the system once again and it has had ripples across the entire world.

All I want is someone to hold me when I feel like this. I want to feel their skin against mine, feel their breath in my ear as they lie to me that everything's going to be alright. Is that too much to ask?

New Pokemon tomorrow.
You guys pumped?
It's going to be off the fucking chain.

I feel like I'm the eye of a hurricane. There's all this drama, all this bad shit going on around me. It's affecting my friends. My friends. The people I care most about in this world.

I don't give a fuck if bad shit happens to me. Bad shit happens to me all the damn time and has my whole damn life. I deal. I get up. I move on. (Okay, I dwell but that's neither here nor there.) But you fuck with my friends?

I will hunt you down. I will kill you in the most excruciatingly horrible way I can think of and, believe you me, I can get pretty damn creative about that stuff. I will then desecrate your corpse.

Avatar choice: Sephiroth from FF7
Easy there, boyo, almost cut myself on all those fucking edges.
You know at first I was thinking "maybe this entry is finally one step too far" but then I read this and I feel better about my decision.
He's just being way too edgy.

But there's no one I can blame for this. No one I can hunt down and slaughter. And it's leaving me feeling weak and incompetent because there's also so very little I can do to help.

This is probably a learning experience but my learning experiences should not come at the cost of my friends.
I just woke up from a dream that was extremely realistic. Hell, at one point during the dream I blogged about my experiences to help clarify my thoughts. Since I can remember so much of the dream it means it was Important and was trying to teach me something.

Here's what I took from it. I'm a racist and I don't know what to do to change this. I shut up and listen when POC speak and I try to ask questions when I need something clarified but I don't always expect an answer because, hey, I might be catching them on a bad day when they're fed up and they just don't have the energy to educate yet another annoying white man.

Stop calling them POCs.
They're fucking human like you you ignorant twat.
When will people realize this is what is ruining race relations?
THE BEAUTIFUL POCs
No asshole.
They're fuckfaces just like you and your kind. We're all shitty, miserable people.
Also pick one, asshole. Are you 3edgy5me threatening to kill people or are you a special snowflake who sees the noble plight of the POCs?
These are basically mutually exclusive categories.

I am getting real sick of using the transitioning tag.

I am on maintenance medication. Every couple weeks something runs out and I have to get it refilled.

I can tell when the pharmacy has someone new working. I am there that much.

Today, there was this new chick and she thought I was picking up my meds for someone else. On the one hand, ysy, passing! On the other, she technically didn't have to give them to me. I'm lucky that she did.

WWWWWhat
well let's go study the transitioning tag.

So last night I went to a Repo/Rocky double feature shadowcast. And I had a hell of a lot of fun.

But there was a problem. During the intermission I had to pee. So I go to the boy's room and there's this line of urinals and this stall and someone's in the stall and I don't know how to work a urinal and even if I do, what if someone notices I'm packing? I mean, I was at a double feature at the Lakewood so it's unlikely I'll get mugged but that fear is still there.

I know a lot of folks aren't going to get this. The fear, I mean. I'm going to be told I'm being irrational or some such shit. But if you think about it, bathrooms are public places that are truly private at the same time. Trans guys do get the shit kicked out of them for being there. Or worse.

GOT IT NOW.
So what starter are youuu guys picking?
I'm going with the frog.
OH SHIT ALMOST MIDNIGHT MUST POST AAAH
SONG OF THE NOW

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Rattle that coffin

see what falls out.
Oh look: it's this.

So Nora and I were chatting away and the topic of older couples sharing an email address came up. I scrabbled around for an (in)appropriately awkward and personal comparison.

"Would you rather share a personal primary email address or poop in front of them?"

What the fuck are you talking about?

Background: So there's a current up-in-arms regarding really skeevy crap on Twitter. It goes like this:

Someone (often female) says something that gets the attention of abusive asshats.
Abusive asshats (often male) say things on Twitter that are entirely possibly legally actionable.
Their target complains, usually to Twitter, with screenshots and links.
Support volume being what it has to be, it takes a while to get notice.
The abusive asshat cleans up their account in the interim.
Twitter comes back and says that Abusive Asshat's account is "not currently in violation" of Twitter's terms of service.
This is remarkably unhelpful to the person who's been the target of all this abuse.

I POST SHIT ON THE INTERNET WHERE ANY CREEP CAN READ IT.
THIS IS TWITTER'S PROBLEM.
Look I'm not trying to blame the victim here but goddamn if I walk around in the hood with my wallet filled with 600 dollars I'm expecting to get mugged.
Incidentally this is unrelated to the "would you rather share a personal email address or shit in front of a stranger?" dichotomy.

Last night was a professional development meetup for my actual job, the assistant bit. One of the A-Team, "Trouble", forwarded the invitation.

I made a crucial mistake, which was a drink before dinner, instead of the other way around. I got stomach pain for my troubles, which continued off and on into the afternoon. So by four I was curled up around a mug of peppermint tea and chewing on ginger.

In this state I went down to hang out with the small and elusive LGBTQ* contingent.

They had to star because there's an infinitely expanding list of snowflakes that demands to be included.
"Because you totally have a magic wand," Trouble said, rolling her eyes.

"Actually I do, but it has nothing to do with work," I said, and then realized what had just come out of my mouth. "Oh god. I'd meant pagan, and then it came out Hitachi."

Hilarity.

Smooth talking as always, Reverend Lunatic. :D
Pagans are known for their wands.
Protip, dipshit: Harry Potter doesn't be real.

Many "this is a tiny thing that has been annoying/worrying/otherwise Bothering me but I'm oversensitive and it's too small to disturb the People In Charge of Making Things Right" things can be prevented from growing into The Problem That Laid Waste to the Shinjuku District (Again) if addressed while still small.

This post was labeled "An intermittent reminder about Things".
Imagine if real reminders were worded as incoherently as this.
People would be a lot more self efficacious.
10,000 posts that are just her Tweets--
a post about how she has crotch rot--

If, say, your company's motto is "don't be evil", and you find yourself defending the company as a whole or any of its parts with arguments that boil down to "they're not evil, they're just misunderstood", on a monthly or more frequent basis?

Maybe it's time to sit down and re-evaluate your priorities and your exact definition of evil.

You could always join my EVE Online corporation: Gibson Consumer Products.
The logo is an unblinking eye.
"We probably don't look evil, at least," is the motto.

So a bunch of people I know have been reading Alternity, a piece of Harry Potter role playing game and collaborative fiction. Reader, I have been drawn into reading from Year One.

My brain latches on to the weirdest things, and even though it's only related because Harry Potter, it's been circulating a phrase.

Why my brain thinks "mimbletits mimbletonia" is so funny, I haven't the foggiest.

IDEK.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.
Seriously what the fuck was that?
Is that humor?

If male warriors in video games were dressed like the female ones: http://t.co/4exrLZe54J

Latest armor set for FFXIV.
No really.

Small child: *shrieks earsplittingly & cheerfully*
Azz: *flinches*
Parent: *something at a soft-normal volume, inaudible from my position*
Small child: *second, louder, more gleeful shriek*
Azz: "Are you all right, young man?"
Small child: *was not expecting the schoolmarmish attention of a stranger*
Parents: *shush and hustle*

Reminds me of my one and only time substituting for an elementary school.
Kid starts shrieking at some girl--
DANG SON GIRLS LIKE A GUY WHO IS COOL AND COLLECTED.
Really?
HECK YEAH.
Bad behavior stops immediately.
MILF who showed up to help gets a little wet.
Man I'm the greatest.
Also: never again.
Second grade is the fucking worst thing.
A girl broke her arm at recess--
No shit--
and then a kid walked into a coat rack and almost put an eye out.
I can't handle that kind of stress.
Kid almost fell out of a window once in high school too.
That I can handle. If you're enough of a dumbass to perch yourself in a desk in front of an open fucking window then good luck to you, brother.
18 years old. We're basically peers only they for some reason trust me enough to keep you alive for a week.
Maybe it's that edge factor where I'm exactly one life stage ahead of you.
Opposite sex relationships are banned because a "Nice Guy"gets a passive-aggressive monkey's paw.

Attempting to imagine the expressions on the faces of my various librarian friends if anyone tried riding a Segway in their library.— Space Marine Azz

Nothing says "space marine" more than that.
I'd just like to point out the opening quote in Helsreach is "we are judged in life by the evil we destroy" so if you want to compare quotes that sound like actual space marine sayings versus this shit then get that book.

This is not an hour that should exist. On the other hand, I see email incoming.
— Space Marine Azz

Yeah.
Usually when a space marine says that it's punctuated by cutting cultists in half with a chainsaw.
You whine about email.
Fuck you.

My new definition of 'hipster':

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Fack

Furry and a brony--
what else is new with reality--

Honeycomb! No, not the place where rabbits meet under Watership Down: I mean honeycomb ice cream. I do like the flavour, but (as you'd expect) it's very sweet and so I try to limit myself. This was the first time I'd eaten it this year, and given that it was another hot day (29.4 °C) I think an ice cream was a virtual necessity in any case. It's supposed to be cooler (though by no means cold) and cloudier this weekend, then really hot and sticky for a couple of days next week before a possibly quite thundery breakdown. I'm not a storm fan; I'd much rather have a quiet return to average temperatures. Oh well.

A virtual necessity.
Or you could not be a puss.
Also you don't like warm weather and thunderstorms?
What the fuck is wrong with you, friend?

Aren't we a barrel of laughs in this country? After years of complaining that our summers have become cold and wet, all of a sudden we have a genuine summery spell... and we're complaining that it's too hot. =:P

Getting people in the UK to not bitch about the weather is much like stemming the tide so--

I had a good day out today, and one which included ice cream, but I'm just too tired to write much about it now. More to come on this tomorrow, though!

Thanks for that fucking waste of time.
I DID STUFF BUT TOO TIRED TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT
so don't update.

I went to another brony meet today, this one in Birmingham. This one was a bit of a step up in terms of size and length: we were in double figures and were together pretty much all afternoon. I had a very good time, and was much less nervous than I'd expected to be. I'm very pleased to see on UK of Equestria that other people did as well. A sequel seems to be in the works already, maybe at the end of the summer after BUCK. If there is one, and there's no reason for me not to go, then I will go. =:)

Lol ponyfucker

So we then sat around chatting about this and that, quite a lot of pony-related stuff (Twilicorn, Equestria Girls, prospects for Season 4 etc) but also quite a lot of other things. It was a very convivial couple of hours, actually, even once I'd finished my cider. (Well of course I had cider: what else would one drink at a brony meet-up?)

Semen.
Semen is what one would drink at a brony meet up.

So... a very enjoyable day all in all: good company, nothing that seemed to annoy/embarrass the non-bronies around the place, some very silly in-jokes created and not too much rain. Oh, and my first ever brohoofs (brohooves?) which somehow made it all feel that much more special. I'm still amazed that I, of all people, enjoyed a day-long social event so much, but I've never been happier to be amazed!

Bronies are such douche bags.

The dreaded (by some) Equestria Girls movie came out yesterday. I haven't seen it, because it's not appearing in the cinema outside North America. However, I have seen some dodgy cam footage of a few of the songs and the last 13 minutes of the film itself. (The songs are still up on YouTube; the ending doesn't seem to be.) As you can tell, I don't care about spoilers for this film -- by the time the DVD is available, I'll know everything anyway -- but I won't ruin it for anyone else. So, the rest of this, including the reason for my choice of subject line, is under a cut.

There was brief talk of attending this movie in my circle just to see the mutants that also went but then we realized that would mean going to a My Little Pony movie.
I think we settled for walking by the theater it's playing in.

The songs... well, with one very catchy exception (the song used in the second trailer) I can't remember any of them now. They're pretty much generic tween pop. Tastes differ, but personally I love the musical-style numbers Daniel Ingram creates for FiM, and this doesn't come close.

No shit?
Tween pop in a movie intended for little girls?
Color me fucking surprised.
That's like being disappointed a Warhammer video has mostly synthetic Gothic chanting for a soundtrack. What the fuck did you expect?

Oh, and there's the high school stuff. I hate high school cartoons on the whole, and I don't like magical girls anime either. The little romantic scenes with Flash Sentry were presumably put in because that's what tweens expect, and I could more or less cope with them in the humanised world. But at the end, when pony Twilight was being teased about having a crush on Flash? Urgh, no thank you. The only acceptable crush in Equestria is Spike's on Rarity!

I wonder if there's any point in a brony's thought process where he looks back over what he is entering into the public record for all of eternity and thinks "goddamn I'm a fucking dork".
I'm guessing not because if there was that sort of filter he wouldn't be a brony in the first place.

Well, I suppose that's another social achievement unlocked: I can now talk about the pony meets I've been to. =:P Last time around there were three of us in Worcester; this time it was six! Pigasus (the organiser), Electrokitty and I from last time all attended again, and we were joined by eliki, Spring Wonder and Crimson Dawn. The vagaries of the railway timetable meant that people arrived and departed at different times, so for quite a proportion of the meet there were actually fewer than six of us, but we did have some time when we were all seated around the same table at the same time, so it counts!

Is that really an achievement, though?
Sitting around with five other mutants?

When Eliki and I got to the pub, Electrokitty was already there. Pigasus followed shortly thereafter, then Spring Wonder. The five of us were all fairly quiet types, but thankfully no-one seemed to hate anyone else on sight. Crimson was the last to arrive, but he was also by a long way the most confident. I don't think any of the rest of us would have quite had the nerve to plonk a sizable plush pony on the end of the pub table as he did! The whole meet lasted two or three hours, considerably longer than last time, so I think we did all right.

What the fuck

We've been having a very interesting discussion over on UK of Equestria about where we see the My Little Pony (specifically the Friendship is Magic) fandom being in ten years' time. One thing that's come out of the conversation has been that several contributors felt that we'd already passed the peak.

Hopefully in 10 years' time everyone will have forgotten this shame.
Oh shit I kinda got a migraine so I wandered off for 12 hours.
What is this?
What am I doing?
Help

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

The Crue

Jesus Christ all mighty today was sure some slim pickings.
First was a technology blog.
Like a serious technology blog.
On Dreamwidth.
Going on and on about Intel's new quick start technology or something--
I don't know.
No one reading Dreamwidth knows what that shit is.
I don't even know what that shit is.
Then a huge post on AMD versus Intel-- I just bought my processor based on what Girls' Generation was shilling at the time.
Hey they say it's good so it must be.
I trust a bunch of Korean bimbos on technology matters.
Uhhh, Seoul is the most technologically advanced city on earth, okay.
I think they'd know.
And by sheer coincidence it is the best processor I've ever owned.
The amazing thing about this to me is I know people who trust my opinion and read this blog.
Have you not seen how I reach my conclusions? It's based on the most fucked up, irrational criteria imaginable. Don't listen to me.
Anyway speaking of bizarro world where Dreamwidh isn't whining and is trying to be informative here is someone who is calling Snowden evil.

I just bought a new Nook HD. B&N is getting out of the tablet business -- they'll sell tablets, but not their own -- so they're selling off their inventory. This is essentially a nice Android tablet for $129.

I have a first-gen Nook Color. It's ok, but it has quirks. Sometimes the page I'm reading goes blank. Or I'll see the same page over and over again. The new one behaves better and looks better, with higher resolution.

I like to read with white lettering on a dark background. You need the color tablet for that. The little readers are strictly black on white. I've got an iPad, but it's too big for reading in bed. The HD is just right.

Fucking Americans.
I have one technological marvel but it's too big to read in bed so I bought another!
I've seen an iPad. I own books both larger and heavier than it and I manage.

Daughter Elizabeth, a Kindle fan, will think I'm crazy. She thinks B&N will go under, or will at least get out of the ebook business. If they do, I'll get a Kindle app. In fact I'll do that anyway.

You do realize Nook uses an open source file format that you can just download?
In fact I'm sure Amazon offers books in that format.

Throughout my career I was required to protect classified information, something I took, we all took, very seriously. So it infuriates me when some highly-placed guy gives away secrets on a huge scale.

He didn't do it for shits and giggles though, retard. He did it because he thought (quite rightly) the government was maybe a little bit evil.
Someone even dug up an old forum post of Snowden saying people who leak secrets should be put to death from like 7 years ago. Clearly the man underwent what we in the literary business call a character arc.
That shit isn't easy.

Having said that, I think we have to look a little more closely at Edward Snowden. Is espionage the right charge?

There's this thing that intelligent adults can do: it's called cognitive dissonance.
Holding two seemingly contradictory opinions at the same time.
Yes, he is provably guilty of espionage--
but it was for a good reason.
What should happen to him? I don't know.
On one hand justice demands he pay for his crime but then again the US government is clearly guilty of the exact same crime so--
Now you start getting into murky territory that people can't easily handle because it's not like the TV show 24 and there isn't an obviously good guy to root for.

Espionage is the clandestine channeling of information to a foreign power. Snowden was hardly clandestine, and he released information to the general public, the American public. You have to look at his intentions. His intentions were good.

None of that shit matters.
Everyone knows your end result is the only thing that matters. If he manages to enact a great change in America (har har not likely when a new season of American Idol is starting) then he'll be considered a hero.
If the collective ADHD of America starts itching and the shows on TV are really, really good he'll be remembered as a spy that betrayed America.

You have to look at the potential damage, too. The NSA was keeping track of who was calling whom. Who is talking to the bad guys, who is talking to who is talking to the bad guys, and so forth. This doesn't surprise me, it shouldn't surprise you, and it doesn't surprise the bad guys, who have known for decades that telephone communications are chancy. What alternatives do they have? Email? No way. Coded messages? NSA cracks codes like peanut shells. Couriers? They've used couriers for years, but a messenger who gets caught or turned can give away a lot. Nothing is changed.

Were you even paying attention to the problems with what the NSA was doing?
It's not like they're just wire taping people they suspect are guilty of shit. They're literally storing every single communication on the planet.
If they get the shits of you they can dig through your records--
like this blog where I call Americans pigs--
and then they can throw you in jail because clearly you're plotting against America because only a guilty man would call his fellow countrymen animals.
As I said last blog the fact most Americans even give a shit about their privacy when they're posting pictures of their last bowel movement on Tumblr and cross-posting it on Facebook is hilarious to me but that doesn't make it not a serious concern for the 1% of us who haven't divorced our senses.
There's a very serious field of study that mostly exists in fiction: ethical speculation.
The future ethical ramifications of technology that doesn't yet exist.
Most people think it's gay and stupid but I devote a lot of time to shit like this because if someone in the 1940s had actually listened to people like George Orwell we'd have a course of action to follow when shit like this happens.
The problem is philosophy has moved from the serious study of shit like this to "ooooooo this novel is too postmodern".
I guess it's easier to be a douchebag feminist than figure out ethics.

Oh, and we're spying on our friends? One of the largest spy operation in the US is run by Israel. They want to know what we would do in various situations. (Google Jonathan Pollard). And we want to know what they might do, so we spy on them, too. Yeah, and we spy on Germany. And they spy on us. Ain't nothing new here.

Just about everybody seems happy to have this information be public. Everybody seems glad that Snowden released it, even though everybody seems to think he should be hung by his thumbs for it. Let's not be hypocritical. Let him come home to face charges related to mishandling classified information. He'll go to prison, but not forever. I think he'd rather do that than hole up in Bolivia for the rest of his life. Drop the espionage charge. It probably won't stick anyway.

How naive are you?
Jesus.
I thought age made you wise.
Guess it's not the years but what you do with them.

We saw Star Trek last weekend, in 3D. It was good entertainment, although I thought it got too Star-Warsy at times. Too much video-game-like fighting. Star Trek wasn't about gunfights. It was about strategy and diplomacy.

You know you're right.
It was still a great movie, though.
Can't make a movie about strategy and diplomacy because people can't pay attention that long.
Too confusing.
Why do you think EVE Online is probably the most complicated video game ever made in terms of diplomacy and yet for most people it's boiled down to "go here and kill people"?
There's always that undercurrent of plebeians.

Small point, but a lifeless planet would not have an oxygen atmosphere. Oxygen in a planet's atmosphere is generated by carbon-dioxide-eating organisms (ie plants). No life, no O2.

As far as you know.
There's also a moon made of diamonds a few light years away. I think it's possible for there to be O2 other ways.
Maybe there was life and it all died. As I recall that planet had a lot of ruins and shit so clearly there was life but the Klingons killed it.
God step it up.

OK, let's talk about assault weapons. They are the weapon of choice for kids like Lanza and Klebold. These disaffected, outsider kids grow a couple days worth of fuzzy beard and grab their assault rifles and picture themselves as freedom fighters, righting the wrongs of the world for any kid who has ever been yelled at by a teacher or bullied on the way home from school. The assault rifle is important -- dad's hunting rifle just doesn't have the same vibe.

The Bushmaster rifle that Lanza used is essentially a civilian version of the M16 I learned to use in the Army. It is about as accurate as a slingshot at long range, but the unstable bullet it fires rips and shreds and kills anything it hits at close range. It can kill or maim a lot of nearby people in a short time. That's what it's designed for. It's an instrument of war.

So what do you guys think the best squad weapon for a terminator squad is?
Heavy flamer?
Assault cannon?
I gave him a plasma cannon because I prefer plasma weaponry but there aren't rules for terminators with plasma cannons for regular space marines so I can have it count as either.
I'm leaning towards assault cannon just because flame weapons are kinda piddly against armored targets but then again they do better against targets in cover and I think that's a good use for terminators--
having them dig guys out of cover--
but I don't know.

For self defense? If somebody is trying to get into your house in the middle of the night, you have the right to shoot. If you hit him in the shoulder with your handgun, he'll have a hole in his shoulder and he'll be out of commission until the cops arrive. If you shoot him in the shoulder with with your assault rifle, you'll blow his fucking arm off and he may bleed out in front of you. When the cops arrive and find a dead guy on your porch and you holding the weapon, you've got some explaining to do.

And who did you just kill? Maybe a bad guy who intends to harm you. Or maybe your neighbor's teen-age kid looking for a thrill or for drug money.

Shouldn't have broken in.
I'm sorry but if you break into someone's house
and he kills you
that is your fault.
You know I don't want to get killed by a hillbilly with an assault rifle so I try to avoid breaking into peoples' houses whenever possible.

Lanza's mother kept her guns locked, but Adam knew how to get to them and their ammunition. That mistake cost her her life, and allowed her boy to become a mass murderer of little children. He was unstable, but you know what? All teen-agers are a potentially unstable.

Everyone is potentially unstable. What the fuck does that mean?
My problem with this is if I have to ban everything you idiots can potentially use to maim each other I have to ban everything including cars.
Some might argue you don't need an assault rifle, which is true, but by that logic you don't need a car.
So I don't know what to do. My gut reaction is to outlaw them because you morons can't be trusted but then where do I stop?
Best not get involved.

When I was in high school we were required to have four years of phy ed. No exemptions for being in band, or being on the basketball team, or anything else. And your grade counted in your GPA.

Lol gym thinks it's a real class.
Gym teachers always have the biggest chip on their shoulder-- I suspect because they know they don't teach a real subject.

The Jello museum in Western New York has a stuffed giraffe head. It has nothing to do with Jello, actually. The circus came to town and their giraffe died. The local taxidermist, who had been limited to fish and deer, asked for the corpse. He stuffed the head and 3 or 4 feet of neck. Eventually the giraffe head ended up in the Jello museum, where people from all over the world could come to see it.

... You know how people say sometimes it's more about the journey than the destination?
I think that's one of those kinda trips.

I did it. I am officially retired.

I don't feel like I'm old enough. Retirement used to be for old people.

Don't worry mate: your generation saw to that.
Retirement is only for the dead now.
Man this blog.
I gotta stop reviewing blogs written by men.
I know I said women are the worst but really blogs written by men are just stultifying.
It may seem like I'm misogynist in this blog but I can assure you I'm just anti-my fellow man and on this blog that just happens to translate into being anti-woman because that's what's in front of me most of the time.
I think that's why I like EVE Online so much. I like crafting in video games but it always feels like it's going nowhere.
But in EVE Online I can make Mjolnir citadel cruise missiles (giant nukes), look at the 110,000 I've made and say "man, those are going to ruin someone's day."
It's the kind of crafting that really makes you feel like you're part of something.
But that's not important right now.
What is important is the freighter I'm making.
Anyway fuck this blog
fuck the police
fuck this gay earth.

Edie Finds a Corpse