What

So I was rereading the comments I got and one of them that I swear didn't have a link now has a link to a Youtube video.
What the fuck is even happening--
Also yeah I reread my comments periodically. There's like 10 of them so it doesn't take very long.
Anyway here's today's blog.
I think we're dealing with some kinda tranny.
Probably.
Isn't that a safe assumption?

So you found a cat on the internet. You're not surprised, not even by the fact that they seem to communicate with you via text verses silly faces and jumping in and out of boxes.

You're curious and want to know more, or at least bored enough to keep reading.

This is what you need to know:
- This cat is trapped in the wrong body. Human fingers and toes never sat well with it, they make it twitch and long for claws and a tail and ears that perk up at the smallest sound.

Or maybe a furry?
For some reason I interpreted this as a metaphor.
That's a dangerous thing to assume with all the weird shit on the internet. Like why, necessarily, does it have to be a tranny and not someone who honestly believes they're a cat?
Why does one seem saner than the other?

- The cat is not male or female, it is both and neither and prefers they/them/their pronouns. It pronouns also work assuming it knows you and trusts you are not doing it offensively.

Oh.
Should have kept reading.
I got into an argument with a person of unique gender description recently.
Apparently I should bend to their wishes even though I refuse to use "they" to refer to a single person outside of a royal context because it's mean if I don't play exactly how they want me to.
I don't think the real world works like that.
You know I want to be referred to only as Lord because I am, in fact, a Space Marine but unfortunately that's not the actual case in reality.

- The cat has a strange belief system cobbled together from life experience and what it's gathered in books. It will not shove it's beliefs on you if you don't shove yours on it.

In before shit about elves in a parallel dimension that you can visit if you have brain damage.
Remember that blog?

Me neither.

- The cat is polyamorous, demisexual and kinky. These topics may come up at some point but any sexual talk will be warned for.

Demisexual.
That's a new one on me.
That's a new one on me and I frequently substitute for schools designed for special snowflakes.

 A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. 

Or "hopeless romantic" as we say.
Also that rings a bell now that I've read it.

- The cat is mentally ill. It's just a part of who it is. It has bad days just like everyone else and it tires to not express them too often but this is it's space and it does what it likes.

Yeah no kidding.
Hey here's a picture.

Writing slumps suck. I've been having trouble braining for any sort of word type things since like...Wednesday. It is problematic. 

Ever have a tumblr social justice warrior tell you something you said is "problematic"?
Nothing evokes a primal 'kill' instinct from me faster.
 I feel like that's a cheap way to get me to default lose in a debate.
You lose a debate when you call someone a name.
How does that make any sense?
If you act like a twat
I'm going to call you a twat.
I mean I guess "fuck you the noises coming out of the stupid face in front of you fucking head are problematic" might be a grounds for a ban from a chat group
I GUESS
One question I get when I say I'm moving to South Korea is "aren't you afraid you won't fit in?" to which I respond "I've made two friends after living in North Carolina for almost 8 years. I don't think If it in very well here either."

I am tired and twitchy and feel horribly disconnected from everything. I don't even know why I just don't feel like I am braining right. I want to sleep but I can't manage to do so and just....nrrrrg.

"tired, twitchy and disconnected" sounds like a typical Wednesday substituting at any of the 5/10 schools I go to.

 So, I was up for a good long while today. From seven PM until now (about 3:30 AM) and that was...not what I was planning to do but I can't really sleep anymore, even after I've taken drugs. it's a problem.

Everything is a problem or problematic for you.
Maybe there are no problems. Maybe it's all in your stupid head.

So, I was up for a good long while today. From seven PM until now (about 3:30 AM) and that was...not what I was planning to do but I can't really sleep anymore, even after I've taken drugs. it's a problem.

You know Zeus says you shouldn't pray for solutions to your problems. You should only pray that you should be equal to the problems in your life.
Worth thinking about.
You know to me that says Zeus is more legit than Jesus. Jesus is supposedly all powerful, all wise and benevolent yet he doesn't fix really grievous problems in peoples' lives because he "works in mysterious ways".
Zeus might not be all powerful (allegedly) but he is powerful enough to basically do what he pleases.
But that doesn't mean he has to please you, idiot.
Got a problem?
Figure it the fuck out, Jesus.
Yeah he might be the god of the gods and the elemental god of thunder and lightning but he has nothing better to do than fix your headache.

You know when you have something stuck in your head and you can't get it out? Words echoing through your skull and they refuse to get out? Yeah, that's what this is.

Also known as, the cat committed poetry again.


The gods said "Give us an anthem."
And all I could do in reply is laugh.
"I only have one language." I said.
"Twenty six letters and some syllables."

But they smile at me
Not with faces but the bending of the world
And they say, with the sound of birds,
"Give us your letters, your stresses, your tenses.
And we will love them no matter what you'e done."

I smile, not with the world but the turning of my lips.
And put a pen to paper and see what happens.

I give them twenty six letters and some syllables.

And all the while, I hear the birds sing.

Then there's this garbage.
Once again I have to take the Roman view of this. If there are gods then their attention is toward far greater things than us and if they turn to a human it is only the especially great and even then it is only the merest fraction of their attention and only then for a few seconds, relatively speaking.
And assuming all that who even knows if their attention is something you want to invite.
Do you know how many people end up turned to dust or animals in mythology?
Like you better seriously know what's up if that's what you're courting.
Or, you know, it could be like Julian or Pythagoras says. Maybe the gods aren't even conscious as we conventionally understand it.
You know that's kind of the beauty of what we call cognitive dissonance. You can hold two contradictory views at once and understand they're contradictory.

Feel like I am falling, feel like I''m cracked and broken and sick and stupid and gross and wrong.
So, I am entertaining the thought of acquiring a Wordpress.  

It's free. Just sign up for it.

- You can say whatever you'd like here but I do ask that, if its something trigeery, you warn in the subject line. 

Hey can I get a trigger warning for trigger warnings?
They really make me irrationally angry.
Like how fucking thin skinned are you that you need warned that something might bother you?
No one gives me a fucking trigger warning when I turn the radio on and Lorde is on for the millionth time that day.
I'd like one, too, but I don't get one.
Like why can't Ryan Seacrest say "hey we're about to play Lorde so change the channel if you don't want to taste blood" before he starts playing it?
Your radio show is already shit, Seacrest. You can only improve it by doing that.
His entire show is just masturbation at how famous he is and how he can't even believe it and then Lorde records.
In fact, can I get a trigger warning for On Air with Ryan Seacrest, please?

So, I've put a lot of thought into this, talking to people, fussing over it in my head, all that jazz.

I'm no longer going by Charley.

It's a name that has served me well over the years. One that I've grown very fond of. However, I find that, while I still am attached to it, things aren't the same way they used to be when I first picked out the name.

I'm a different person now, with different tastes, views and experiences I have learned more about myself and grown over.

Names, to me, are like clothes. You might have worn something perfectly for a long time and it was wonderful but you eventually outgrow it. That's what happened with Charley, I outgrew it. I found that it didn't fit right anymore.

So, what's the new name?

Mallory. Or Mal. The full name is Mallory Bowen Tam

Real life is a lot like a foreign language class where you pick a name to better get into the mindset of that culture.
In German I was Heinrich after Heinrich Himmler because I was in high school and we all thought giving ourselves Nazi names was funny.

 So, I am taking a writing course, right? I needed a plot and Mor and I were sitting here batting around ideas.

The one I a going with? Is basically The Life And Times Of A Shared Headspace.

Your mind isn't a space. It's not a physical location.
It's a series of bioelectrical impulses your brain arranges into your senses.
Have you considered this is part of your problem?
None of the shit in your head is there objectively. It's all what you make up.
Whatever 'you' even is.
Basically what I'm trying to say is everything you see, think or do could be part of your or someone else's imagination and there's absolutely no way for you to ever discern the truth.
So the sooner you accept the crushing hopelessness of your situation the better.
That's therapeutic to hear, I think.
Fuck

DEAR ASSHOLE

I'm so fucking bored of blogs.

After 4 years the best blogs on the internet include pictures of Warhammer models and a Russian dude who posts pictures of naked Asian girls.
While Warhammer and (naked) Asian girls are for sure in my top 5 favorite things ever we're not exactly talking about a high batting average.
So let's go down.
Way on down to London town.
Let's go back to what first gave me the idea for this mess--
reading Dear Abby and thinking "I can give better advice than this."

WIFE'S WILD PAST PUTS FUTURE OF HER MARRIAGE IN JEOPARDY

Already the hits are rolling.

DEAR ABBY: This is my wife's second marriage. When we were dating, she led me to believe that I was the second sexual partner she had ever had.  

>believing anyone about anything ever
>believing white women in particular
harr not today, asshole.
I'm dead fucking serious when I say a totally Machiavellian society would be far, far more trustworthy and noble than what we have now.
Take EVE Online as a prime example. You cannot trust a single person by default so no one trust anyone.
So because no one is ever trusted about anything it's totally equal. There's none of this "well she told me this" because the default stance would be "yeah and she's full of shit."
There'd be no malice, either. That's just business.
I managed to rope this gaggle of newbies into selling me all their ore at a price not technically unfair to them (it's unfair if they had refining skills but they don't so $$$)
and when I told them how I wanted the ore packaged (easy for me to double check their math) their response was "don't you trust us?"
and my response was "no and welcome to EVE"
and they were ok with that.

Shortly after our wedding, I found out through some mutual acquaintances she had attended college with that she had been very promiscuous during her college years and that the number of men she has been with is far greater than two.

Why are you asking, I mean really?
I wouldn't care unless she's still sleeping with prodigious amounts of men while being married to me.
Or giving me AIDS I guess.
Really you should find a woman who has done that and feels guilty about it.
She'll try harder to not screw up.
Who you have to watch out for is the woman who has slept with only you when you married her because there's like a 90% chance she'll snap and go crazy and fuck everyone because you "smothered her".
I've heard of this happening.

I love her and want to stay with her, but I feel betrayed and, frankly, embarrassed by her now. What do I do? -- CONFOUNDED IN THE SOUTH

What do you do?
Drop the bitch like she's on fire
get on a plane
go to the Philippines
open up your motherfuckin' wallet
take your pick.
You stupid fuck.
I'm not even talking about the sleeping around thing because who gives a fuck but it's time to do your life up fuckin' right for once.

DEAR CONFOUNDED: People lie when they feel threatened, when they want to impress someone or when they're ashamed of something. 

Just watch this video for enlightenment about why you do what you do
If you haven't seen that movie, incidentally, stop whatever you're doing and watch it.
The movie is called Heat. 1995. Al Pacino.
I'm pretty sure I can enlighten all of America with just my words and clips from movies on Youtube.

Please be aware that many women in our society have had multiple partners, so if you're looking to replace your wife anytime soon, you may be hard pressed to find a woman with no experience. If you want to salvage your marriage, I strongly recommend you talk to a therapist, but don't spend your money unless you can forgive your wife for being afraid to tell you the truth.

Hey whoa all right.
The bitch did lie. Don't act like he's the menace here.
He might be an asshole and misguided but that doesn't excuse the reality.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old guy, and I have a problem. I recently met a girl in a chat room, and we seemed to hit it off pretty well.

No.

As we've been talking, she has told me she is suicidal, and in the past three days she has made three attempts to take her life. (As I'm writing this, she is in the hospital.)

Cocksucking liar. Don't believe a word she says.
It's a dude in Missouri. 

Being a sensitive person, I try to talk her out of it, but she keeps shutting me out, and once she's OK, she is a completely different person. I still want to be her friend, but this is getting to be too much for me. Please help. -- WORRIED IN VERMONT

Girl is an acronym in the internet: Guy In Real Life.
Here's like 3 days of Abby phoning it the fuck in and letting people who write letters give advice--

DEAR ABBY: Our son recently came to us and confessed that three years ago he'd had an affair with a married woman who had two children. He ran into her recently, and she told him she now has three children, and the most recent one -- age 3 -- is his daughter. She's still married to the man she cheated on, and our son says he's still in love with her.

Once again Heat to the rescue on the reaction front.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single woman who has had a string of unsuccessful relationships. When a man is into me, I'm not into him and vice versa.I know the problem is mostly mine. I'm very independent. 

No.
Sorry you're the trouble I fix in these letters.

DEAR ABBY: How does one stop family and old friends from going on and on about their aches, pains, symptoms, conditions, doctor visits and medications in excruciating detail? Aside from my mother (who is 85), I don't care to hear about this from others.

Kill them.

KIDS WITH HIGH SELF-ESTEEM ARE UNLIKELY TO BE BULLIED

After having observed the high schooler in his native habitat for nigh on 3 years now I can tell you that is not the case.
All kids are bullies and are bullied. It's just the sensitive ones that seem to pick up on it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in fifth grade, and I have noticed that teachers pick favorites. I'd like to know if or how I could be one. -- NERVOUS STUDENT IN CALIFORNIA

Don't be a narc.
No just kidding. Don't be a twat and pay attention and get fucking quiet when I have to take attendance.
Don't be that one bitchy girl who thinks getting quiet means everyone but her.
Then cop an attitude when I stare and stare at you until you finally shut your fucking yap about whatever irrelevant bullshit no one cares about you're wasting my MOTHERFUCKIN' TIME with.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of five years, "Todd," is a daily pot smoker. We met during our senior year of college, and I knew he smoked. I don't use drugs, and I assumed that after college he would grow up. However, it seems unlikely that he will quit, and frankly, I'm sick of it.

Quit harshin' my mellow, man.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Tina," and I made a resolution to lose weight for our wedding. Everything has been going great except for one thing. Because men lose weight faster than women, I now weigh less at 6 foot 1 than she does at 5 feet 4.

Tina already has self-esteem issues. I want to look good for our wedding, but not at the cost of my fiancee's hurt feelings. What can I do? -- AT A LOSS IN MICHIGAN

What can you do?
What can't you do?

CROSS-DRESSING HUSBAND WORRIES HIS SECRET IS OUT

BRO.

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married, heterosexual cross-dressing male. My wife understands and is supportive, and we have a wonderful life together.
During the past week I have been caught unexpectedly by three different neighbors, and we are now in a state of panic. We're not sure what to do. If you have any suggestions, we are all ears. -- CAUGHT IN A PANIC

Dude what the fuck is happening
why would you write to Dear Abby about this?
Also caught 3 times by 3 different people?
I dunno man sounds like you either want to start showing girls your penis in public or you need to invest in some fucking blinds.
Goodbye--

DEAR CAUGHT: Because you would prefer to keep your cross-dressing private and this is October, you could tell your neighbors your female attire is what you'll be wearing to a costume party. It's plausible.
However, when someone is "caught" engaging in a private activity once -- that's an accident. When it happens three times in one week, I can't help but wonder whether on some level you would like to be more open about your lifestyle.
If you're not aware, a resource, The Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess International), offers support for heterosexual cross-dressers as well as their spouses, partners and families. It has been in my column before and is the oldest and largest support organization for cross-dressers and those who love them. It promotes cross-dressing with dignity and decency, and treats spouses on an equal basis with their cross-dressers. You can learn more about it at www.tri-ess.org.

Dear Abby says all that I say, isn't as clever about it then offers actual help.
Incidentally I'm a card carrying member of Tri-Ess International.

DEAR ABBY: I'm never happy with just one partner. It's not that I want to go out and have a different man every night of the week -- just some options. I'm currently in a polyamorous relationship, so seeing other men is OK. But my boyfriend is now asking me why I feel the way I do because he is considering becoming monogamous again.

DON'T BE SUCH A WHORE.

DEAR ABBY: I recently told my mother that I am transgender, male to female. She is supportive and urged me to come out to my father. Abby, he doesn't believe me!

I read this one yesterday in preparation for this and all I can say is what a fucking baller.
I guarantee every scenario was exhausted mentally and the male-to-female transgender prepared to be disowned.
ONLY TO BE PSYCHED OUT.
NOPE DON'T BELIEVE YOU ASSHOLE I'VE SEEN MAURY AND BEEN TO THAILAND YOU AIN'T NO TRANNY
I bet dad has to shave 3 times a day and lost an eye in a bear fight.
Here's what you do:  high five your father and let him take you fishing or something.
Man that was a good time reading Dear Abby.
I might make this a regular feature or something.
WHAT SAY YOU, READERS?
Also in celebration of how fucking gay the world is the song of the now is this song.
I made sure to find the gayest one I could.
Korean girls singing about butterflies and flowers and I sing along to this at full blast down the road.
I am physically incapable of giving fucks.
Also if you don't want to comment on this new feature comment on who you think the hottest member of Girl's Generation is.
Warning: your opinion might be wrong.

Anything except roleplaying

Finding a blog not about roleplaying was really difficult today.
One thing I've noticed about roleplayers: apparently really taught, overly dramatic writing = good.
News to me.
I don't really know what this blog is about. I picked it more or less based on the strength of the name. Pantryslut.
I've probably reviewed this one too or some shit.

Met with the kindergarten teacher and school director about how to support Simone in her gender identity. Forgot to say probably the most important thing: "don't reduce Simone to solely her variant gender identity. It's only one aspect of this kid here before you." 

I see I've chosen well.

The other day on the playground, Simone was bitten by a goose. She had bread in her hand, and the bite didn't leave a mark, so it was pretty clearly a case of trying to get at the food rather than aggressively attacking her. Still, she was understandably freaked out. I told her, to help explain the situation and calm her down a little, that the goose had made a mistake and that if it could talk it would apologize.

When I told this story to G. later in the evening, he laughed. "You lied!" he said. "That goose would have said, 'gimme the bread.'"

HUE HUE HUE HUE US BLOGGERS AM I RIGHT?
 Also get ready for my HUE HUE HUE pictures because they're coming and I have a lot of them.
HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE.
Fucking blogs.

Later that same day on the playground, Simone was explaining her gender identity to some new acquaintances in response to their inquiries. "I'm a girl and a boy," she said. "I'm both." There was some ensuing discussion amongst said new acquaintances regarding indicators such as hair length, clothing, voice, etc., trying to correct the situation into a tidy binary once more. At which point she spread her hands and said, "I am who I am."

I melt, Dear Readers. I melt.

Teachin' that kid how to never be a functioning member of society.

Book I should write: "How To Throw Large Sex Parties For Fun and Sometimes Profit."

Speaking of things that go along well with your kids: sex parties.

Seriously what the fuck?

Perhaps in compensation for yesterday's choice of clothing, Simone chose to wear pants, a baseball cap and an eyepatch (hee!) today to our monthly outing at Youth Uprising. She also told me to call her my son and April's brother. Of course I complied. I wonder, idly, if she found playground interactions yesterday harder -- or just uncomfortably different -- than when in her usual outfits. No way to tell, really, so I will continue to follow her lead wherever it goes.

GENDERS.

2. April told her first true joke:

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Dwayne."

"Dwayne who?"

"Dwayne the bathtub!"

Holy shit kid

that sucked

my jokes blow the lid off that fucking garbage.

Simone: "Knock knock."

Me: "Who's there?"

Simone: "Look."

Me: "Look who?"

Simone: "Look out below!"

Me: "Ok. What's above?"

Simone: "A duck falling."

Me: "I see."

Simone: "It jumped from the ceiling."

Me: "That makes sense."

Simone: "The joke is just 'look out below,' though."

How about your fluid gender fluids over into a person that can tell a fucking joke with a punchline? 

""I'll be 40 next year, with a PhD -- I will not be an intern," my friend recently vented, with perhaps a few expletives."

Ahem.

Ashley Nelson, "Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom"

Should have thought of that before I guess.

I am circling around the issue of women, death, and agency. Over and over again. I am clearly obsessed. In an artistic way, I mean. Those of you close to me know what I'm talking about. I mean, it's become pretty obvious in my writing over the past few years.

Recently I have decided to stop tiptoeing around this fact and stare my little obsession in the eye. I am thinking of it as a small, fluffy dog. With a rather chipper bark. I am going to put it in my bag and carry it with me for a while.

I have also decided to talk about it in public. A little. I hate talking about my actual work, what I am working on, in public, so this is a big step. (We can talk about stuff I've completed all you want. I may not have anything particularly enlightening to say, though.) But this isn't talking about what I'm working on, this is talking about the background stuff that informs what I'm working on.

So! In that vein, let's take a brief look at women writers and suicide. Surely we must start with Vice Magazine.

Vice is the best.

If you haven't seen their show in HBO you really should because it's unbelievable. 

Simone: "Mom, can I have a bookmark?"

Me: "Yes. What for?"

Simone: "It's for this book of mine." [She displays a blank book that she has been diligently 'writing' in.] "It's a poem book. It's called 'Poems of Love.'"

If I have a daughter she's going to be so much fucking cooler holy shit

Post whining about something on the playground--

Quick, name for me some of your favorite Dead Wives of Media and Literature. Or simply the examples that leap to mind first.

Uhhhhhhhh

Knee-deep in Moby Dick. Still loving it.

KNEE DEEP IN DICK :DDDDDDDDD

Thank you, I guess, to Star Wars for initiating a conversation with my children about why so many stories have lots of boys but not lots of girls, how that doesn't match with our experience of reality, other ways in which stories like that don't match with our reality, and how to change the stories and tell new stories so that they do. 

Because Princess Leia is a dumb bitch who couldn't avoid getting caught in one ship in OUTER FUCKING SPACE so she's totally irrelevant throughout most of the movie until someone with a brain (AKA Chewbacca)  can rescue her dumbass.

You're welcome for my cutting summary of Star Wars.

We are the custodians of a box of silkworms for the weekend.

or the box of fire, as it would be if I were in charge of it.

Once upon a time I was an English major at a state university, and that state university required students to take a survey Intro to Fiction/Drama/Poetry sequence. Graduate students taught these courses, of course. For Intro to Poetry, I got some prig who'd gone to Adrian or Albion or one of those hyper-religious colleges for his undergraduate work. He kept the Christian thing to a dull roar -- but he was unable to do so for the homophobia. Or the distaste for free verse. I had this class first thing in the morning three times a week. I had a stronger constitution then.

His homophobia and distaste for free verse combined into, unsurprisingly, a virulent dislike of Whitman. So virulent, in fact, that he cut him out of the curriculum entirely. Honest.

We might not be brothers in faith but we are brothers in writing.

Fuck Whitman.

He made some sort of statement about how American poetry of the 19th century had two major figures but he despised one of them so he wasn't going to assign any of it for reading.

Instead, he assigned us double doses of the other one: Emily Dickinson.

I'm going to have to presume a heaping helping of denial (plus the always-lovely attitude that girl-homos don't count) assisted him in this particular mental gymnastic routine.

Fuck the 19th century frankly but I guess you picked the lesser of two evils.

Apparently today was "fantasy dress-up day" at preschool, with much princess and knight accoutrements.

One of Simone's friends picked out a knight outfit for her and brought it over, saying "Simone, I know that sometimes you like to be the brother so I saved this for you."

Simone is said to have replied, "thanks, but today I want to be a princess!" and immediately donned three tutus over her pants.

(gold star for the friend!)

>not wanting to be the black knight to troll every 5 year old ever

faggots.

I'm a Roman Legatus fuck all this gay knight shit I'm the top pro here.

The thing is, this slippage, while v. disappointing in a theoretical text, is rather easy and unsurprising.

Hey, whoa.

"Slippage" is a bad word in my household.

LOSING THEM FUNDS TO BULLSHIT CLICKING.

That cuts deep, man.

And I think that one of the unintended results is the slippage she's decrying. "Pro-sex feminism," for lack of a better term, gets watered down as it makes allies with porn producers and non-feminist sex activists. Much in the same way, btw, that antiporn feminism became co-opted by a larger social conservatism.

I wish I had some big bow to wrap up these observations in, but I don't. This is sketchy and strongly subject to revision. But I do feel as if I am watching both "pro-sex feminism"** and antiporn feminism disappear through continuous multiple dilutions. They both continue to fade away as we watch.

Ok I'll admit I'm starting this entry halfway through because it's really boring and I don't care but what the fuck does that shit even mean?

Fucking goddamn it.

Man I just reread this entry and talk about a verbose blogger. You want to edit this shit down?

I know your kids are endlessly interesting to you but meanwhile I'm fucking dying over here.

I've had more interesting discussions about what video game girls are wearing than reading this shit.

That's pretty fucking dire, m8.

Speaking of: holy shit, CCP, learn what sexy glasses look like.

This:

 

 

is unacceptable. Do you guys want me to fly over there and tell you how attractive women dress? I will do it. If you compensate me I will sit down and carefully explain to your dumb Icelandic asses why no guy wants to see his waifu in pedo glasses.

Let's start with billy basic mode here:

regular t-shirts are clearly still in fashion in the grim darkness of the year 28,000 or whatever it is in EVE world but blue jeans no longer exist.

Sneakers still exist

t-shirts still exist

all pants are leather.

What?

Also I get it's the future and everyone is wacky and cyberpunk but goddamn can I get a few hairstyles that aren't the worst thing to ever happen to me in a video game?

You have no idea how much pressure that puts on a guy. I have to make her face the most beautiful in the history of existence (which isn't easy given the face molder you have) to make up for the fact that 99% of the hairstyles look like the 90s interpreting how the 80s might think the future will look.

You can't just dangle this shit in front of your players.

"Here you can make an Asian woman who can fly a ship by directly interfacing with it (AKA every nerd's fantasy) but this is going to be like a three hour study in facial anatomy."

THANKS CCP.

I've succeeded well beyond what most people have achieved, too.

You don't even want to know what the typical EVE girl looks like.

Harley Quinn makeup disaster.

Or man.

Apparently no one at CCP games is aware what a human jaw looks like or how it is shaped.

Also you can move the eyelids in any number of improbable configurations but change the angle of the eye?
That's just stupid.

People are going to be really bottom sore, too, when you can finally amble around the station.

Or shit, if you can do archaeology out of the pod?
CCP will be mad they didn't listen to me then.

I WARNED YOU BRO

I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE WAIFUS

anyway what the fuck was I even talking about?

Some bullshit blog no one cares about?

What else is new?
Also something I forgot to mention from the last update:

upon googling the phrase that reminded me that I had already reviewed the blog (only way I can find my own back entries because my tags are hopelessly useless) my blog showed up as the first entry. That means it showed up before her.

Me quoting her blog was deemed more relevant than the original quote by Google's standards.

I mean I'm sure I get more hits (not that I get many hits but whatever) but you know still kind of funny.

Anyway fuck the internet.