Oh what the fuck

Black text on an orange and black background.
Readability? What's that?
Seriously click on that blog and look at what I have to put up with for this update. This update will not proceed until you do.

If you were in solitary confinement for the rest of your life, and you discovered a cockroach in your room, would you kill it or make it your friend?

Who thinks of this shit?

Why are those the only two choices?

Yeah that's a good point, actually. Why are there only two choices? Imagine if in life those were the only two options with people.

Can't I just not kill it? I don't kill bugs, not often at least. I guess it's the hippie in me, but I think that they are a little life with a little soul and I should respect that unless they are really interfering with my life. I had my house sprayed for roaches last month,

Oh well if they're interfering it's okay to compromise your morals.
Isn't that the argument Hitler used when exterminating millions of Jews?

but I never killed the one or two I saw. My cat killed them eventually or Zack, so it's not like I let my house get infested.

Oh so it's okay as long as you aren't directly doing the killing.
You know you could just say "I don't have a moral issue with killing roaches" and this exercise in tedium could be avoided.

I kill ants if there is a large amount of them in my house or car, but if a spider, or one ant is just wondering through, I leave it alone.

So it has to be a big kill.
I can accept this.

Seventeen percent of divorces in the united states are caused by infidelity and those are just the ones who get caught or aren't forgiven. Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't believe that cheating is just about sex.

Gearing up for a Biblical "well if you think about it's sort of the same as actually doing it--" no not really but whatever.

Couples may not have sex as much as someone else, but I am pretty sure if you were so desperate to have sex that you were willing to cheat, you could just talk to your spouse about it. One night of sex is never worth losing someone that you truly love.

Have my wife nag at me some more instead. Good tip.

Then, there's the nagging. I am a firm believer that no relationship problem short of abuse and cheating can't be solved by talking it out.

Most people are borderline illiterate. You honestly expect them to approach a problem with any sort of rational mind?

.I admit that's not good, but its the times that I let everything out that I know I'm really looking for a break up. The toilet seat was left up, he can never find the remote, she shops too much, they never walk the dog.

Christ, could you come up with fucking more cliched examples?
All right I got it: she's addicted to internet gambling and he's a registered sex offender.
Now there's some dramatic tension.

It would be rude to leave a relationship with a few walls still standing, I guess. It's much better to break it down to it's foundation. The truth is, that foundation will never go away though. As much as we want to break all connections to the person we were in a relationship with, we will always have the same foundation, us, to build our next relationship on.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU NUT?

I find it quite annoying that I spend hours practicing for a show. Then I spend every weekend for several weeks putting on a show. I post about it on my facebook, I text friends about it, I offer several people my free tickets, and yet no one ever fucking comes. The last show my mom came,Zack came, and Kandi came that was it.

Who wants to watch you work?
I know you're a magician and it's a lot of fun but I don't invite my friends to come see me bumble through a remedial English lesson, do I?
Also anyone paying close attention to your bullshit will see right through the illusion. Don't let the smoke and explosions confuse you.

So fucking annoying! I always support my friends with their shit.

You know when you use your support as a form of blackmail later most of your friends would rather do without support?

It really insults me when I'm like "hey we are having 15 different shows over 4 weeks, and I have 2 free tickets, do you want to go" and I get "oh, no I am busy" (for the next 4 weeks? I think no) or "I don't want to go alone" or "I will probably go next Friday" (which results in them never coming). Do you know how many Rocky Horrors I have seen because Adam is in it?

Plays are boring and I got iron chain to make.
Oh, what, like these assholes are going to suit themselves up?
No, so I'll do it. For a price.

I lot, probably over 50 since he joined the cast. I am trying to save up to afford a fucking $40 ticket to the spirit of Norfolk so I can see Julanne and Jr preform? yes, I have been trying to go for a while now. If I had never gone to anyone'e show I would probably have a couple extra thousand dollars and at least a few months extra time left over.

So stop fucking going, what? The benefits of not going are clearly outweighing going now.
Oh there's you. Hambeast, can't say I'm surprised.

I don't get it. I mean, I know the job market is hard now, but I'm a nanny. It's not exactly a common job. Even if there are a billion stupid girls out there trying to be a nanny, I am a real nanny.

>not a common job
>billions of girls
Oh but it's okay because you're a real nanny.

OMGmy friend invited me to this military wives/girlfriends group on facebook. I considered joining because I have made a few friends who are military wives lately and I thought maybe I'd make some more. Then I saw this list of things that military guys should know about their spouse. It was a lot of tupid shit like she needs two sets of dog tags oen for her rear view mirror and one to wear all the time. That she's super strong and how he's her hero, and shes his princess.

I'm just sitting here with my mouth open and my eyes unfocused. Am I reading words?

One said he he got a higher rank, he would get laid. She'd stop talking to her civilian friends, and make a bunch of friends online because no one else understands. Really

Bitches be crazy? Seriously edit your posts, Christ.

they were all crazy like that there were only like 3 things that weren't crazy. I don't fucking get it. Why do these women obsess about their husband's job? Yeah, it's a little different than being with a guy who works at McDonalds, but you will never catch me with dog tags on my rear view mirror.

Yeah getting shot at by desert people is a little different than making burgers.

They act like their life is so different and that only other people who live that life can undestand and are worthy of their time.

So they're like everyone else, actually.
Know what the hardest job in the world is? Whatever job you're doing at that second, apparently.

People work out of town all the time!

Working out of town, your APC hammered by a mine-- same thing, really.

Not to mention, I don't see why I need friends who 'understand' to me that means that I'm expected to bitch about it all the time.

Weren't you just bitching that none of your friends understand you and never come see your shows?

Warning: this is not safe for work

Oh don't worry no one can read it anyway. Not that they'd want to.

It had been six months long months since I had gotten to touch a woman's flesh. six long months without feeling any release except for the kind of relief the palm of my hand provided. It wasn't the same. Prostitutes wouldn't have been the same either, nothing was the same as her. She was the most amazing lover I'd ever had, if I couldn't have her, I didn't want anyone.

Somehow I suspect this is some sort of story she's writing and not something based in fact.
Anyway fuck this nonsense.

Oh wait, what?

Forgot to post Monday. Well, I didn't "forget" I was just busy with other shit and then in my down time I was playing FFXIV. I had a meeting with some people in a closet where they talked about me like I wasn't there and then I had to go to class. Then today I had to sit in high school remedial English.
Yeah my life has been a bit strange lately. Anyway I'm sure you're not here to listen to me drone on about boring shit like how idiots don't know what a comma is: you're here to listen to me blather on about how idiots don't know what a comma is on the internet.
Here we have Faithful_Summer (hurrrrr) and I can discern from what I've read of her post (critical analysis yo) that she's a hipster bitch.

Based on the books on your bookshelf, what conclusions would people draw about you?

He was probably born sometime around the year 1450. He owns more than three books with a Maltese cross emblazoned on the side or front so he's probably some sort of Nazi.
No you plebs the Maltese cross is different than the Iron cross. I keep telling you this shit.
Here, compare:
Iron cross
Maltese cross
See? Completely different. Could not be more dissimilar-- all right they're virtually identical.

I like teen fiction, vampires, scifi and classic Lit.

Ever notice that when talking to girls? They'll ask some bullshit leading question that I'm not going to answer because you'll think I'm weird so I just reroute it back at you and your response to "what kind of books do you like?" is "I LIKE ALL BOOKS." HURRR THEN YOU WON'T MIND ME TALKING ABOUT DANTE'S INFERNO FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES. "Tee-hee I don't know what that is!" HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU LIKE ALL BOOKS IF YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ THE INFERNO GOD YOU SUCK.
Or, even better: "what kind of music do you like?"
"I like all music!"
"Oh yeah? Like Pink Floyd?"
"No."
"Dire Straits?"
"No."
"Otis Redding?"
"No."
THE FUCK ARE YOU LISTENING TO THEN?
This is why I don't talk to people. You trying to be cute and agreeable is very disagreeable to me.
Oh but I'm sure if I had trotted PITBOOOOOOOOOOOOL out she'd have been all over that. Goddamn, you don't have to listen to every shitty song popular radio feeds you. You're allowed to form your own opinion.

My doc is out of town and this certainly doesn't seem like anything I need to rush to get checked out, but it sure is annoying. Since the last weekend of our vacation (starting Sat., Aug. 28th), I have had this bad smell/taste lingering and popping up at the most random times.

Sinus infection shut up it'll go away on its own you don't need to be on everything for every little sniffle you have.
That reminds me of what we were covering today in honors English: run-on sentences. I use run-ons strategically for momentum. Don't cover that shit in 9th grade English. Gotta learn on your own, kids, or they'll ruin you forever.

No one else smells it.

No they wouldn't. That's because your nose is rotting.
Now here's a three paragraph essay about a pair of shoes I'm not reading.

I've been home for less than 5 hours. My feet are swelling back up and fast.

EDEMA. Be less of a hambeast~

I'm going to see my doc next week after he gets back from vacation, but I'm honestly getting kind of freaked out. Should I be heading to the ER?

I'm sensing a theme.

What is your favorite weird food combination?

I don't eat weird food combinations There's this thing called "taste coherency" and I think I made the term up but just because shit tastes good does not mean it'll taste good together.

When I was in highschool, we used to eat vanilla ice cream on Doritos.

See this is exactly what I mean.
Oh here's this old gem from a few weeks ago:

Do you think a marriage license should have a renewal or expiration date, just like a driver's license?

and her response is equally brilliant:

Sorry, this seems like a dumb question to me. It's not like you have to take a test to get a marriage license. And once you're married, it's not like your marriage can expire (and they sure shouldn't change it to be that way b/c then people like Zac would continually forget to renew it and things would be chaotic). So why on earth should you need to renew your marriage license?

NO STUPID THE QUESTION WASN'T WHETHER OR NOT THEY DO EXPIRE IT'S WHETHER OR NOT YOU THINK THEY SHOULD EXPIRE.
Now she's talking about a nose piercing and quite frankly

I need to know everything you know about Parathyroid issues.

All right here we go.

My back is in bad shape. Has been for ages. I'm sure at least 50% of it has to do with my weight.

Where's my picture of Groucho Marx making a troll face?
It's somewhere--
Ah fuck it.
Now here's 5000000 posts that compromise her Twitter posts. So I'm reading Twatter on Livejournal. I wish there was a single word for the feeling you get right before you cock the trigger and blow your brains out, because I'd be using it right now.
I know, I'll coin the phrase: Faithful_Summering.

How is it that until just recently, I had never heard of the terms "fluid" or "pan-sexual"?

You never heard the term "fluid"? Like a liquid? "Pansexual" is an okay term to have never heard because they made that the fuck up but fluid, really?
What scientific or medical breakthrough do you most want to happen in your lifetime?
Bionics. If you say anything else you're provably stupid.

Easy. A cure for cancer.

PICK BIONICS. STOMACH CANCER? BOOM, BIONIC STOMACH. Also known as "biomechatronics" if you're a fan of words that are impossible to pronounce.
Stem cell research is so nearsighted. So, what, you grow a replacement organ WITH ALL THE SAME FLAWS AS THE HUMAN ONE THAT FAILED.
No, you need enhanced organs.

My ideas are ranging anywhere from Greece/Santorini to Holocaust sites.

I could go to the CRADLE OF ALL WESTERN CULTURE or where some atrocious shit happened. WHAT A DECISION.

I spilled a soda on my phone. Now it is dead. At least, it seems that way. Currently letting it dry out to see if that changes anything. *cries*

You spilled a liquid on your phone, then to see if it was ruined you turned it on? Well guess what ruined your phone, dumbass. Here's a brotip: submerging something electronic doesn't ruin it automatically. Gotta have some sort of current in there.

Way to go, Va. Epic fail.

EPIC FAIL GUYS XD
EPIC FOR THE WIN
Oh right, this. I ended up doing my rank 10 Guildleves in FFXIV instead.
Anyway entry over because I don't feel like reading posts about Obama from 2 years ago.

LAY IT DOWN.

Well, well, well. By now you should know the routine. There's a shitty blog. I'm going to say mean things about it.
This is a good blog because 80% of the posts are writer's blocks. Seriously, why bother posting if you can't come up with anything?
Oh right, Livejournal.
Anyway, here we go.

Does anyone else have really strong scent memory?

No one but you. Smell is only the sense that pretty much bypasses all sensory organs and goes straight to your brain, so of course most people don't remember smells longer than any other memory.
Wait, no--

I always have... I have a lot of smells that remind me of specific events/places/times (vividly, too).

WOW, YOU'RE SOOOO SPECIAL!
Have you guys ever, like, smelt something and then related it to something going in your life at the time? YES? WELL YOU'RE A LYING SACK OF SHIT.

For example, bug spray/citronella always reminds me of Georgia, as does that "woodsy" smell or the "after rain" smell.

WOOOOOOOOOW! I'M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW!

I cannot smell the colognes or body sprays that my exes used to wear because it reminds me so strongly of them I start thinking they're like, standing behind me or something.

I can't smell pizza without thinking of VICTORY because I was at Pizza Hut the first time I leveled a Pokemon to level 100.
... That's a true story, too.
Level 100 Blastoise on Pokemon Blue, hell yeah motherfucker.
Speaking of: I finally acquired Pokemon Black and it crashes after I get through the little intro where I'm talked down to like I haven't been playing these games for 12 years. Great.
THIS IS A POKEMON.
Great, thanks professor lady whose name I've forgotten. I had no idea a game called "Pocket Monsters Black" involved creatures called "Pocket Monsters (also known as 'Pokemon')".

For some reason that cold air/wood burning smell makes me think of Christmas too.

For some reason the holiday that takes place during the cold season reminds you of things that happen in cold weather, brilliant.
For some reason, guys, whenever I see a pool I'm reminded of the smell of chlorine. Is that weird?

Today I sprayed myself with this perfume I used to wear a lot about a year/9 months or so ago. BAD idea. It smells like my old job, and it's seriously freaking me out.

So I'm looking at the Pokemon White ROM in a hex editor. I wonder if I can fix this? It's only a couple of thousand lines of hex, surely I can solve this before people who know what they're doing can.

I had a really crazy dream last night.

So lines a0 and b0 are all 0s. I wonder if that's usual?
So are 160 and 170, so I'm guessing this is the way it's supposed to be based off no other reason than there are a lot of lines like this.
Oh, if only I knew to what these referred I'd be able to figure this out.

Okay, so it started as a roadtrip to my Aunt and Uncle's house in GA (a lot of my dreams start this way, it's my favorite place ever). Except instead of being in a car with just my family, there were a LOT of people going on the trip. And somehow it was a car/truck THING, but there was this HUGE bed in the back... For everyone to sleep on?

Ever notice whenever anyone describes a "really weird dream" they had they always sound mentally handicapped?

Is there any book you can read over and over again without ever getting sick of it? Do you discover something new every time you read it?

The three greatest books ever written: The Odyssey, Inferno and The Count of Monte Cristo.

Any of the Harry Potter books.

Also Harry Potter.
And Twilight.

Any of the Chronicles of Narnia books. Any of the Lord of the Rings books. Maybe it's just a fantasy series thing,

Maybe I'm a fan of the fantasy genre given the three things I listed are fantasies.
Idiot.
No but I used to hate The Lord of the Rings and then I kind of softened on it mostly because of Warhammer (lame reason I know) because everyone was on about what a huge inspiration Lord of the Rings was for Warhammer so I decided to check it out.
They're pretty good books, actually. I think most people don't understand what J.R.R. Tolkien was trying to achieve (nothing new there) but they're definitely world's better than, say, Harry Potter.

GO BUY MY HUSBAND'S BOOK, OK??? YAY!

Let's see--
THE COLD TOWER.

Peace. Prosperity. Freedom. After fifty years it ends.

In the world of Scyllia darkness is coming. The evil sorcerer Enlokirim has risen from the grave, seeking revenge against those that destroyed him. He searches for the Triangles of Power: nine magical stones that are individually powerful, but even more dangerous together.

Amras Oronar, an outcast elf warrior, leads a group of adventurers in hope of stopping Enlokirim.

Oh hey, it's that plot to everything ever.
Remember when that guy made that gay Dark Elf ranger named something impossible to pronounce like Drizzt? Yeah, those were good times. Apparently EVERY NERD EVER agrees, Christ all mighty. OUTCAST ELF WARRIOR HAS TO GATHER MAGICAL MACGUFFINS.
Seriously could you come up with a more contrived reason to have an adventure? "Find some shit to stop the world from being destroyed" literally summarizes 99% of fantasy ever. You couldn't come up with a revenge drama or a "getting home" epic like the Odyssey? Something a little classier? No?
Well, no surprise there I guess.

So I'm re-reading Harry Potter, and I'm on the first book, and I was wondering about something that always bothered me. The scene where they fight the troll in the bathroom and Hermione says that Harry and Ron came after her because she went after the troll on her own... WHY? Why does she lie?

Because they're poorly written books? Are you seriously looking for an answer that makes sense outside of that?

I wrote a silly poem at work this week, while contemplating my cup o' pens:

My pens and pencils come and go,
Some are ones I do not know.
Where they come from, I'm unaware,
Perhaps they appear from thin air.
Red and blue and black and green,
Appear and disappear unseen.
What they do, I do not care,
As long as when I reach, they're there.

I wrote a poem too, while contemplating my Pokemon ROM:
Pokemon Black doesn't work on my Acekard,
FUCK.
Should have bought a CycloDS instead.
Thank you, thank you.
Oh, here's a picture of her new haircut. Before I click on it I'm betting she's a hambeast. Anyone wanna take that bet? (Of course not).
WOW WHAT A SURPRISE! A HAMBEAST!
Are you sure you were always a girl?
It's okay if you weren't. I'm an equal opportunity hater.

I don't know if you've all heard, but MTV is trying to do a re-make of Rocky Horror Picture Show. YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.

Here is a petition:

So? 96% of movies made this year were remakes or sequels.
I didn't make that statistic up, either.
You see, people make more shit now than ever, so they have to rely on name recognition to sell their product. Hard to compete with the internet, it is.

Also, yes, I am THRILLED that Obama won.

What-- oh, I'm quite a few years back now. Huh. Well two years later and I wonder if you're still thrilled?
Here was my face when I voted for him: :|
here was my face when he won: :|
here's my face now: :\

There are a bunch of idiots on the Dragon Cave forum trying to say that Obama isn't an American citizen.

So get your armor on (it'd have to be a rather cauldron-inspired suit, HO!) and saddle up your horse and take care of the dragons. I mean fuck, there's a place called THE DRAGON CAVE and there are still things alive in there to talk about shit?
Anyway what follows is a political meme (groan) and I don't feel like clicking back anymore so off I go to do something with myself.

Postin'

Today's Monday, holy shit. I think I have a nutrition test tomorrow. I've been feeling strange lately.
BUT ARE YOU GETTIN' IT?
REALLY GETTIN' IT?
ARMAGEDDON IT?
This is one of THOSE BLOGS (in a voice as accusatory as I can possibly make it) where I have to agree a thousand times over that I'm older than 14. What kind of sense does this even make? 14 year olds can't make informed decisions about anything. If a 14 year old were irreparably harmed by one of these blogs (heh heh) there's no way this fucking warning would hold up in court.
All for what? This cunt's declaration that she loves the Lord Jesus Christ? Wow, how controversial.
Anyway what spawned this entry was the writer's block of the day:

If you were given the chance, what one thing would you tell the entire world?

I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I have any wisdom that could really change the whole world so I think I'd go with something more that's pissing me right the fuck off: your and you're. I'd explain to people (even non-English speakers, fuck you) that these words are not the same.
Of course most of Livejournal went with the tried-and-true "PEACE IS THE ANSWER LOL" which given the number of times people have said that and it hasn't stuck I'm guessing peace either isn't the answer or no one cares enough to try it out, so time to find a new angle, people.
It's a nice thought but nope, not working.

I would tell the world to simply love one another as God loves them excluding no one, to forgive everyone and to smile, laugh, live and love evereyday as if it is their last.

What about the terminally ill? I bet they're feeling forsaken and not loving life, exactly.
Fuck you there are plenty of reasons to be miserable. Don't tell people what to do.
Hey, hey, here's a thought: if we're all children of God what's so special about Jesus?

I have always loved Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater house.

Nope don't care. Next entry.
GOTTA BE 14 OR OLDER TO LISTEN TO HER RAMBLE ABOUT FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT.

I believe all our disease can be cured through the injestion of plant matter extracted in its purest form.

Dumbest fucking thing I've read today, probably. If this were the case there'd be no disease. You really think people wouldn't have figured this out before now? With hundreds of thousands of years (or 4000 years if we're going by your reckoning, I'm sure). I mean Christ all mighty, a plant can cure cancer?
Yeah pack that radiation shit up, we don't need to work this hard.
Twit.

Which famous or infamous historical person would you bring back to life, and why?
I would bring back to earth, our Lord Jesus Christ.

>Jesus Christ
>historical
Ha, ha, ha.
Youuuuu.

I would love to meet Him and to thank Him face to face for all of the mighty works He has done and for all the blessings in my life.

What'd he do, really? I mean he healed some blind people (allegedly) and walked across water (neat trick if there are no boats to be had I guess) and then he died.
Everyone that was alive is now dead and everyone alive today is going to die so that's not really a "mighty work", is it? He didn't even write his own fucking book. He had his followers do it for him. Really if they hadn't written it down no one today would have even heard of Jesus, so really we should be thanking the Apostles first and Jesus second.
Oh man all of these are writer's blocks, I just realized. WRITER'S BLOCK SPECIAL, WOOOOO--

What is your greatest fear?

I FEAR NOTHING.

My greatest fear is losing my Alan, being alone and homeless with no food or resoures. I am physically challenged in that I am reliant on a wheelchair

Yeah maybe if you weren't such a hambeast.

If you've been following a relatively obscure band and they start to become popular, do you tend to lose interest at some point? Is mainstream appeal a turn off when it comes to music?

What are you, a hipster? You liked it before, what changed? Nothing about the actual music, to be sure. Now here's a really long and boring story about how she found love in a "really odd place" (the internet, fucking wow) and-- whatever, Christ.
Well. That's the end of her blog. Short entry today, wooo--