Mining & Meteors

I could be mining.
Or stopping Sephiroth from dropping a meteor into the planet in Final Fantasy 7.
Or stop the Empire from dropping a meteor into the planet in Final Fantasy 14.
Square has one plot and they milk it.
But no, I'm here updating this shit.
You're welcome.

I have a pile of books that has been sitting next to the computer for a Very Long Time, some of them possibly over a year. I have had Plans to review each and every one of them, because I had things that I wanted to say. But in the interests of not beating myself up over things that aren't happening, and getting the books back on shelves, I'm going to try and list them, and maybe say a sentence or two about each of them.  

Har don't care.

After an epic day of shopping/errands, the kids and I have agreed to try and not get in the car for the next three days. In fact, the only reason we are planning on going out to it is to bring in the shopping, and maaaaybe to do some cleaning.

I have bought tomatoes (2 boxes), half of IKEA (the small stuff), dry goods from Kouks, music books and attachments for music stands, a stack of TV/movie DVDs (some of which are a belated b'day present), and ex-library books (one with a g-f focaccia recipe that I'm hoping to try tomorrow!!!!)

Someone record themselves reading this out loud and post a comment with a link to it because I can't be bothered to read these words.
If it's under 20 seconds I might listen to it.

Today is the first day of a two week holiday from work. Yes, it is the school holidays, and thus there will be Stuff that needs my attention, but I'm planning on not having large expectations of myself. What I have done is grabbed a roughly A1 piece of butchers paper, blu-tacked it to the wall, and got the kids (and myself) to write possibilities all over it. In the bottom corner, I've written a set of goals, which reads:

1. Have fun
2. Learn stuff
3. Get the house sorted

 Chievo #1: beat Final Fantasy 7.
Everything else is incidental.

  some days, the fannish part of my brain wins out over the rest. which made the following *statistics* web page title a little on the double take side of things:

FAN GIRL HERE.
I LIKE HOBBIES TRADITIONALLY ASSOCIATED WITH MEN BUT--
nah fuck it.
Not going through the whole thing again.
The thing she links I literally don't understand. It's like a graph of nonsense.

 Friday, in a desperate effort to do *something* I started pulling apart the music/sewing room, and taking everything off the shelves in the back hall. These needed to be done simultaneously, as incompetence on my part meant that there were multiple part stacks of fabric in both spaces.

Yesterday, I sorted the yarn (this was the easy bit). I also dealt with large chunks of fabric. And with artisanat's help, the furniture of the music/sewing room was rearranged, such that the seats all use the open space, rather than at least one attempting to use the space the rest of the furniture was. I'm pretty happy with the results, and Stuff was chosen to declutter as well.

Today, I have attempted to keep the process going, but the most amazing case of Doorway Brain*

This blog is so douchey it has notations.
Can you believe there's a blog with notations?
Doorway Brain, for those of you begging for Armageddon might be curious about, is defined by this cunt as:

* where going through a doorway, or a reasonable facsimile of such causes the current task to escape from conscious thought, leaving one with the 'where was I going, what did I want to get done?' bafflement. 

Ooooooooor you could have saved us all aggravation at having to follow your bullshit nonsensical trains of thought around and just written "I'm a dumb slut" instead.

I asked the ratusbagusaii who wanted to go, and eldest and middlest went 'meh', while youngest bounced and squee'd. Artisanat is perfectly happy to go if others are, but isn't motivated all on his lonesome. And thus I booked 3 tickets. And halfway through that process, middlest changed zer mind. Which makes me the big bad meanie, because I wouldn't go back, and find a spot that had four seats together (or five, because I'd be betting on eldest also changing zer mind), or make any arrangements for them to come too. 

You refer to your children as "zer"?
Why?
Zer?
Are you fucking joking?
You can say "him" or "her". It probably won't offend the snowflakes.
And I doubt seriously identifying your children by their gender will endanger them.
Jesus Christ could you be any more of a cunt?

And the writing is lovely. Understated, but very enjoyable use of language. And when I say understated - there is no one section that I noticed the writing, indicating that it is consistent. This comes out in the characters as well. Apart from the viewpoint character, there are several other major characters, all of whom come across in detail, with more than just a sense of the physical description (why, yes, I've been reading stories that focus on 'the brunette', 'the dark haired one', and other such frustrating ways of 'depicting' a character). 

Only women give a shit about overly ornate character description.
Just fill in the details in your own head, Jesus.
I like how she's reviewing books for young adults.
Why is the primary literary demographic for women books about kinky bondage and books intended for children?
Is that reality or is that just my skewed perspective thanks to these shitty blogs?

it occurs to me now to ask - is there anyone reading this journal who would like access to my general locked posts, and doesn't have it? I have a pretty broad policy on this - as long as I don't work with you, and I haven't had problems with you in the past, I'm happy to add. 

Oh yes, please let me see your locked posts.
The unlocked posts have been so stultifying I'd just love to see what you've deemed inappropriate for the general public.

This morning, youngest was up at six, having attempted to stay up late last night, in order to clear out zer desk. There are neat little piles all over zer floor. The desk has now a set of very specifically located items. Not sure what zie is going to do with the rest  -

Between the really uninteresting content and the really distracting grammatical quirks (guess which one I mean) this blog is virtually unreadable. I've spent the last five minutes just staring at my market orders.
This is a set of about 10 numbers that doesn't change.
Just staring into the void.
And let me tell you, those 10 numbers were off the fucking chain compared to this bullshit.

 There is something ironic in winning an ebay bid on two balls of the main colour of a crochet project so that you can finish it...

.. and running out of the contrast colour the same day.

*sigh*

fortunately, I have a failed experiment that includes a section of that colour, so I guess I'll be unpicking it today. 

>not using accented analogic colors
plebeian garbage
The youngest child is quite clearly a girl.
She just posted a picture of her.
Why in the fuck would you use gender neutral pronouns then?
I was giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming it was some sort of motherly "I'm protecting my child's identity online" thing but no, here she is.

Which, given that it has a very narrow perspective - that of a pre-teen/early teen male - is possibly not surprising. And the handling of the main character's disability appears to be done well** - there is healing across the course of the story, but even though Odd goes to Asgard, there is no 'hand of god(dess)'***

Did I mention the notation thing is in almost every post?
Surely, you're thinking, this dumb cunt can't notate her own thoughts with further digressions about her own thoughts?
Why wouldn't she just add them in the paragraph where it's appropriate?
WELL I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT SHE DOES.

** I hate this about the english language. I want to say hand of god and have it mean male or female or other or both or neither, but I know damn well that people will interpret it as the former, and thus I have to indicate that it isn't necessarily and argh. 

It was common in Norse and even Greek and Roman mythology to refer to the gods as male mostly because they transcended our petty notions of gender.
Even though the gods have human emotions and act in a seemingly human way they're supposed to be way superior to man so doing this bullshit gender politics nonsense is kind of stupid because I doubt it's an argument they'd want to be part of.
Like Athena was a great warrior while being a goddess.
Did anyone say "hey Athena that's a man's job"?
Everyone was too busy flipping their shit and possibly getting their shit mangled by ball lightning to notice.
This woman claims to be a scientist but I'm not buying it. Probably some sort of feminist theory scientist or something.
Those exist, I assume.
Sorry I lost interest.
Fuck blogs.

the plague thing

I still have the plague.
It has been like two fucking weeks.
So, sorry for not updating lately but I've also finally crossed that threshold where I'm well enough to teach school again but not well enough for it not to make me fucking miserable.
So that's kind of what's been up all week. Just me doing the school thing then coming home and praying for a release from this mortal coil.
Anyway let's do this.
If I have one last action I want it to be something pointless like this blog.

Typical cyberbullies. Talk all the shit in the world, then go suspiciously silent when one-upped.

Put it down as the latest in a long line of effortless wins for me.

>arguing on the internet
>winning
Nope.

If one more waste of blood from the Tea Party uses the term “Real America/ Americans” to describe small, conservative-leaning rural towns and the populace thereof, I am going to kick them through a jet engine. Forgive me for reviving a phrase that went out with whalebone corsets and the minuet, but how DARE you? 

Wow imagine if you had real problems.
Like no, seriously. What if you had a problem beyond the word choice of others?
Can you imagine how much more complex your life might be?
Like imagine if you're just me and you have to teach middle school while under the weather.
Do you have any idea how much worse my problem is?
If we were to compare problems it'd be like not having a problem to starving in Africa.
And I'm not trying to act like a badass here. My problem is barely a problem-- if I weren't sick I'd be riding high.
What passes for decent pay in 2013--
doing well at my job--
not too difficult--
but even still it's like a serious thing I have to reckon with. What's your problem in life?
Nothing.

DANIELLE: One thing that really aggravates me about fandoms--ANY fandom--is the pointless quest to milk every relationship between two characters--be it respectful, hostile, protective, or parasitic--for sexual tension.  

>Giving a shit about fandoms
Well there's your problem.
I don't get this desire to network with other people that share similar interests.
I hate other fans of Warhammer and Final Fantasy. I cannot think of people I'd rather be around less than the people that share my hobbies.
Warhammer fans in particular are annoying.
They miss the point of it entirely.
How can you be interested in something for decades and miss the message they've carefully constructed and told you literally hundreds of times in various forms?
Warhammer is a multimedia empire that spans across books, boardgames, video games, movies, audio dramas and comic books and it has maybe 15 messages total.
How can you not know all 15?
THE ULTIMATE FUTILITY OF STRUGGLE
THE DAMNATION OF MANKIND AND THE FORGOTTEN GOLDEN AGE
SOCIETY'S TENDENCY TO REGRESS TO NIHILISM
HOW CAN YOU MISS THIS SHIT?

NATALIE: Total truth. You see it in every single fandom in existence, though. Now, I will be the first to say there are a few shows out there that absolutely play with their slash audience, totally intentionally and are blatantly feeding them--but not every relationship that is deep translates to a sexual relationship, IMO. And I think a lot of members of fandoms are really screwing their own heads reading them that way. Is that what you think love looks like? Really?

That's why Warhammer will be safe from fanfiction writers and women in general at least until Games Workshop changes hands.
It is probably the least romantic fictional universe ever.
I remember thinking it was shocking and out of place in Helsreach when a character admitted he had feelings for another one.
Note they were never in a scene together and she died by the end of the book.

DANIELLE: Could not have said it better. Seriously. Yes, there are characters that lend themselves to ships and slashing. Kimber and Stormer from Jem!, my girl-girl OTP,

Meanwhile in Warhammer this is the kind of dialogue you're dealin' with:
"WE ARE CURIOUS," came a mighty anguished thought which itself transcended time. "WE HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR INTRUSION INTO OUR SANCTUARY, OUR ANTRUM AND ADYTUM.

"My lord." Jaq sank to his knees. "I beg to report to you before I am destroyed. I may have uncovered a major conspiracy-"

"THEN WE WILL STRIP YOUR SOUL BARE. RELAX, MORTAL MAN, OR YOU WILL SURELY DIE IN SUCH PAIN AS WE ALWAYS ENDURE."
 Emperor of Man is so hardcore he can only be properly represented through CAPSLOCK.
It's seriously one of the greatest scenes in science fiction.

NATALIE: Never, ever, EVER got Harry/Draco. Likewise with Harry/Snape. There was definitely more to their relationship, but it sure as hell wasn't sexual. Makes no sense to me. I love the derivative nature of fanfic and I think it's brilliant as a social experiment and a growing art form. 

Art form.
"PERHAPS IN A PART OF US, SINCE THE HYDRA PROMISES A PATH?"

"SURELY A MALEVOLENT PATH; FOR HOW COULD HUMANITY EVER FREE ITSELF?"

"THEN WE MUST BE MALEVOLENT TOO. FOR WE HAVE EXPELLED OUR SENTIMENTALITY LONG AGO. HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE ENDURED? HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE IMPOSED OUR RULE?"

"YET BY VIRTUE OF THAT WE ARE PURE AND UNCONTAMINATED BY WEAKNESS. WE ARE GRIM SALVATION."

"NOTHING THAT SAFEGUARDS HUMANITY CAN BE EVIL, NOT EVEN THE MOST STRENUOUS INHUMANITY. IF THE HUMAN RACE FAILS IT HAS FAILED FOREVER."

"WHEN WE CONFRONTED THE CORRUPTED, HOMICIDAL HORUS WHO ONCE USED TO SHINE LIKE THE BRIGHTEST STAR, WHO USED TO BE OUR BELOVED FAVOURITE - WHEN THE FATE OF THE GALAXY HUNG BY A THREAD - WERE WE NOT COMPELLED TO EXPEL ALL COMPASSION? ALL LOVE? ALL JOY? THOSE WENT AWAY. HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE ARMOURED OURSELVES? EXISTENCE IS TORMENT, A TORMENT THAT MUST NOURISH US. EVIDENTLY WE MUST STRIVE TO BE THE FIERCE REDEEMER OF MAN, YET WHAT WILL REDEEM US?"

"Great Lord of All, did you know of the Hydra before now?" Jaq asks.

"YET SURELY WE KNEW. HOW COULD WE NOT KNOW?"

"ONCE WE HAVE ANALYSED THE INFORMATION WITHIN THIS SUB-MIND OF OURS."

"HEAR THIS, JAQ DRACO: ONLY TINY PORTIONS OF US CAN HEED YOU, OTHERWISE WE NEGLECT OUR IMPERIUM, OF WHICH OUR SCRUTINY MUST NOT FALTER FOR AN INSTANT. FOR TIME DOES NOT HALT EVERYWHERE WITHIN THE REALM OF MAN. INDEED TIME ONLY HALTS FOR YOU."
When fanfiction produces dialogue of this caliber we'll talk.

Brain, I love you. No, really. We've had our battles: you're really good at sabotaging my sleep and really bad at navigating writer's block. And I know that you and my heart can only communicate through a neutral mediator. But--since the subject of movie scores came up yesterday--if I could dedicate a song to you right now, it would be the Superman theme. Just because you're such a superior model to the majority of others I encounter day after day after night after day, I'm half-convinced you're some kind of mutation. If so, I worship the gamma rays or toxic waste that came in contact with you.

Wow.
There it is.
The ubermensch.
This bint.
This is what the Nazis were working for.

TODAY'S EPIPHANY: My specific style of humour is pretty much useless. Otherwise, I wouldn't be the only one laughing.

And yeah, this has damaged my ego a little bit. There, I said it.

AKA "I'm not funny" .
Also this woman is American.
Just spellin' shit the British way because.
Because fuck you I'm going to be affected.

To Whomever it May Concern:

So no one--

Maybe the USA will become a theocracy.

2007 called.
It was looking for its buzzwords and irrational fears.
This woman is 34, incidentally.
Anyway my willpower is fading fast.
Hopefully Friday I'll be normal.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Time for another entry I guess.
Not feeling especially inspired for this entry. I think all the life has still been sucked out of me from the last entry.

Which book do you find yourself regularly rereading, and why?

Dante's Inferno and blah blah blah--

Obviously HP. All seven of them.

Obviously.

Why?
Because it might be the greatest story ever written...

Harry Potter?
Uhh, no?

despite the blatant lack of sexual situations, even in the face of countless opportunities.

Truly what is lacking from all great classics.
Err wait, no it isn't.

Everything that I have witnessed over the past few days has only worked to further convince me that the only way to bring about radical improvement in a community is by changing the general attitude of its people.

Brainwash them. Quash all dissent.

Change attitudes, and then wants, desire, and perceived needs begin to change. Modifications in attitude lead to actions, which alter the status quo of said community, and can change things for the better.

Is this about a fanfiction community?
I bet it's about a fanfiction community.

Only it is not that simple. Digging a little deeper we can see that a change in attitude can only be brought about through education.

So are you going to get to a point at some point or is this just brainwashing masses for dummies?

Is that really the way it works, though? Perhaps the most essential, most basic part of this “right attitude” a group of people has to adopt in order to reach its potential is skepticism.

No, skepticism is a dark path. Can't have my happy workers questioning their lot.

It branches out into so many other core values, it translates into so many benefits, it implies so many things, that we have to have it first (before willingness to help each other, before selflessness, before a desire to be better, before anything) in order to move forward.

The path forward lies in solidarity.

Why? Because only accepting new information after it has been properly supported by evidence inevitably leads to all those other values.

But then… Does education lead to skepticism, or is it the other way around?

Well I mean, Warhammer tells us that if we educate men without faith we make them but clever devils so I'm guessing education leads to skepticism first.
And logically you'd have to know something first to be skeptical about it so yeah, this is an easy one for logical induction.

That is a fantastic question, sir.

Thanks.
Glad to know my genius is appreciated.
I didn't ask a question.

After all, the need for supporting evidence leads us to seek information, and therefore absorb more knowledge before accepting something as fact. Indeed, skepticism leads to education.

So-- point?
Ok I skipped ahead: no point.
Girls, am I right people?

I am not gay.

You never sound gayer than when you're saying "I'm not gay".

Not only am I not the least bit gay,

I just suck cocks to prove how comfortable I am with my heterosexuality.

I was raised in a conservative, catholic, repressed environment in which the norm was to believe that gays were dirty, disgusting, and evil sinners, and so, this is what I was taught. This was my life. Gays were a race apart, less than human.

Sounds like with a little work we could turn this into a proper Imperial creed.

We did not know any, we did not want to know any. In fact, I was told repeatedly, it was dangerous to get too close. They want to “do stuff” with you, you see.

See that's the part that has to go. FEAR NOTHING.

In support of this argument, I shall relate the following experience: A few days ago I had a pretty exciting episode, while at the doctor´s office for a terrible cold complete with fever, pains, and tonsillitis. The doctor wanted to give me a prescription for antibiotics, and asked me about allergies, to which I responded that I was allergic to penicillin...

Stop.
A doctor gave you antibiotics, that is, something effective against (anti-) bacteria (-biotics) for a virus?
Do go on.
It all sounds perfectly rational.

or rather, that my parents made it a point to tell me so as a small child. Needless to say, after discussing it at length, we went ahead with an allergy test. Turns out I am, indeed, allergic. Badly. So much so that the paltry amount of penicillin used to test my dermis for a reaction (rash, etc) had quite the unexpected effect on me, I lost consciousness and my blood pressure dropped to dangerous levels for a few minutes.

Or you could take some vitamins, drink some orange juice and sleep it off.

A gullible, dogmatic mind might consider this proof against everything I have previously stated. That I should have simply accepted what my parents told me as fact, and carried on living my life, and I would have saved myself a traumatic afternoon, and possible fatality.

well call me Adolf Hitler but one thing I do know is antibiotics don't help against viruses.

I contend that the stakes were too high to just assume that my parents, who, like parents do, taught me a lot of things that were laughably wrong, were right this time. More plainly: The odds of experiencing any lasting or permanent damage from a simple allergy test (even the odds of going through what I went through) are pretty astronomically slim. Meanwhile, penicillin is a hugely important tool in treatment of a vast and growing amount of ailments.

Not in Anno Domini two thousand and eleven where penicillin is so over-prescribed for things it doesn't even treat that all bacteria is immune to it.
This shit didn't really happen.

Unless I absolutely cannot, I would like to have this tool available to me, should I ever need it. In other words, yes, it was a gamble... a low-risk, ridiculously high-reward gamble. No different than, say, getting a driver's license and using it, knowing that traffic accidents are a looming possibility.

My blood pressure didn't drop to dangerously low levels once while I was getting my license.
Can you believe this entire thing about gays and penicillin is the same post?

Of course, most of you were raised in similar ignorance, if not about homosexuals, certainly about something else, and do not need this little fable and analysis to know what I know.

Of course.

So as I said at the very beginning of this post, I am not gay. Not even a little bit. Not by a long shot.

Not being gay, however, does not keep me from being intelligent, humane, and just. Being a heterosexual male does not blind me to the fact that all humans should have rights to certain basic liberties.

You're a man?
Really?
Eh-- well, I guess it makes sense, really.
How many blogs written by women contain this "I'm writing an essay for school" quality to them?

It does not keep me from seeing that there is no such thing as "gay marriage". There is only marriage, and sexual orientation should not keep you from your right to it.

Of course, there is an alternative: It is called discrimination.

Or there's another (superior) alternative: I just don't care.

Patriotism is a childish, primal, basic, and completely unsophisticated emotion. Patriotism is a somewhat ridiculous “Us vs. Them” mentality that has no place in modern civilization.

Man I'm tired all of a sudden. It feels like I've been awake for 97 hours.
Am I dying?

"You do not look Spanish... at least not what the Spanish people I have met look like..."

"Spanish? Really? I thought you were Italian...!"

"You are fair-skinned for a Spanish person..."
....

These (and others like them) are things I heard everyday for most of my life, from people of every race in The States.

Oh man I suddenly understand so much about life because of this blog.
I finally understand what it's like to stare into oblivion.
How can any sort of opinion on something survive this level of boredom?
What is the meaning of life?
Who even cares to seek the answer? Look at this boring bullshit.
It's like Buddha himself just spoke to me. How can you master this level of boring and still be alive?

I worked all through high school. I have always worked since. I have left jobs, and lost jobs. I have been laid off, fought with managers and walked out, and got another job right away. I have worked at a few stores, bars, clubs, and many restaurants...
I also have dated many girls. A good majority of them were Caucasian.

Wait let me see if I have an accurate depiction of myself right now.
It took a while because I ended up staring into space for a good 10 minutes but I found it.

There is a little diner in my neighborhood. It's more of a large den with some tables where one can come in and have lunch any given day. A family place, where the same people (all related) work every day. This place serves a pretty good lunch, two or three different choices every day, for very reasonable prices. People come in,

Right. Diner. Got it.

find an empty spot at a table (even if the table is already taken, no matter. You just wish everyone a good day and say "buen provecho" as you sit down) and one of the "servers", usually a couple of teenage girls, approaches with a glass of whatever juice they are serving that day, and silverware, to tell you your choices.

If I were an alien this is the blog I'd read. Mundane life in grueling detail.
I GET THOSE BASTARDS NOW.

I have visited this place from time to time. Not often enough to be a regular, but a handful of times. Enough times to notice the following: When the servers bring out silverware to the guest, sometimes they bring a little basket with a spoon, a fork, and a knife; sometimes just a spoon. The food itself is not the cause of this discrepancy -no one comes to this place just for soup-. Then, what gives? You guessed it. Some people (the peasants) do not use a fork and knife. They eat everything with a spoon. Servers do not ask you, mind you. They either bring you a fork and knife or they do not.

So what you're saying is if I entered one of the teenage servers would immediately offer herself to me because I am that lordly?

I have never been given only a spoon.
Just like, I realized at some point, I never had any difficulty getting hired anywhere in The States.
Just like I never had issues with any family or friends of any girlfriend at first sight.
At this place, you see, like everywhere else in the world (although perhaps more blatantly, more honestly than most) they quietly and subtly judge you on your appearance. This is a given, right? I am not telling you anything you did not already know...

Peasantry.
What are you talking about, anyway?

Just how far does the color of your skin take you, though? Appearances matter, sure... But more so than any suit, any DKNY jeans, more than any pair of Cole Haans, any haircut, any conservative vs loud nail polish/style, any
Movado or Rolex, maybe even more than being good looking... I'd say more than ANYTHING really, the color of your skin can open or close doors for you.

Sorry too busy being knightly over here.
I'm seriously sitting at a right angle with my chin held up kind of making a :C face.
SOOOO BADASS RIGHT NOW.
now for some Final Fantasy Tactics soundtrack.
Yes, the image is complete.

Is it fair? Is it right? Are these questions even relevant?
Fair, unfair, right, wrong, affirmative action... whatever. It does not matter because no one is color blind.
Because, well, White people rule the world.

I need a Red Bull mainline or something.

Are we conditioned to define our existence through suffering?

After reading this I'm starting to think so AND JESUS CHRIST IT'S ALMOST 1 IN THE MORNING.
I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR THREE HOURS BARELY WRITING.
No that's it fuck it I quit.
No more Edie Finds a Corpse.
I'm serious.

I've been diseased

I contracted some unspecified biological agent thanks to my horrible school.
On top of SHIN SPLINTS HARDCORE and in general having to winnow the horrors of teaching fucking 9th graders (in a shitty school no less) a lesser mortal would have broken by now, but not I.
I endure eternal.
Hooo, so tired.
Also: must be 14, flavor country, gentlemen, etc.
Today's writer's block:

When, if ever, is it okay to snoop on your significant other? Have you ever?

"When the bitch is creeping" is my response.

I don't think it's ever ok to snoop on your significant other. EVER. I would be absolutely livid if my partner were to go through my e-mail, my phone, my facebook, my anything behind my back and without consent.

Yeah, well. Don't give me a reason to think you're blowing some other dude and we're fine.
Also this is how you know I'm an honest person. At least I have the balls to say it. All the other "I WOULD TRUST MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER ALWAYS LOL" are cocksucking liars.

I think they're all nuts. Even if someone gives you reason to suspect that they're up to something sketchy, I don't think it's ok. I think it's the coward's way of not talking through problems and I think it shows a lack of respect.

If she's cheating she's going to lie. Are you fucking stupid or something?

To me, if you don't trust and respect your partner then there's no reason for you to be together. I think it also starts to make you look for problems, look for suspicious information, and give you a reason to start keeping secrets.

A suspicious mind is a healthy mind.

I know that if my partner was looking through my email, I'd start a different email account without telling them. It's a disgusting display of control and mistrust, and I wouldn't ever condone it.

Didn't you just say you didn't condone keeping secrets? So you should show me your email and dispel all doubt instead of acting like you do have something to hide.
See then you could call me an asshole and break up with me instead of acting like a petty, hypocritical cunt I know you are and whoops-- looks like the truth finally came out.
Here's some dumb fucking survey hidden behind a cut and if she thinks I'm reading this she's nuts.

I've worn myself out bitching about the extend on our hellatus (fuck you, CW) so moving on to another topic...

Women. Feminism. Empowerment. Ect.

Moving on from something I don't know what it is, some shit no one but dumb cunts care about.

Here's why: we think of feminism and we think of bra burning, women fighting for equality in the work place, the right to vote, ect. Now we've achieved all of that (debatable. Women are still paid less than men for the same jobs but, you know)

Oh what they're not telling you about that shocking statistic: the fact women take off from work to drop spawn they promptly ignore explains the discrepancy in wages.
Work less, make less. WELCOME. WELCOME TO CAPITALISM.

but now we face other kinds of inequality which boils down to basic sexism. Sexism is still alive and thriving today.*

Ok so she has a note where she explains this statement but it's immediately below her previous paragraph in small font so just make a new paragraph, goddamn.

*Note: I'm aware that sexism applies to men too. I think it's terrible the way we raise males to think that they have to be strong, unemotional tyrants who need to put their pride before all else.

Oh no, don't lump me into this butthurt bullshit. You are the one upset about sexism, not me.

Then we raise females to think that it's normal for men to be that way. Be honest, how many women feel awkward when they see a man cry in front of them? Anyways...

Pussies.
But yes, anywayS.

I categorize racism, sexism, and denial of human rights (ie: gay marriage) under the same heading, and that heading is "WRONG." It sickens me that we are still racist, that we still make racist jokes and laugh at them, that we laugh at sexist jokes (no, it is NOT funny when you tell me that women belong in the kitchen),

Actually yes it is funny.
You can say it's not all you want but your opinion isn't actually better than mine so I can just refute it outright.
Deal with it.

and it's not ok that we deny marriage to anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Only a shitty writer deals in absolutes, you know.
TO ANYONE, REGARDLESS OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
ANYONE, REGARDLESS.
I bet there are some combinations of sexuality you find objectionable like, say, pedophilia?
In fact I'd wager that exact kind of thinking hurts the gay marriage movement more than it helps because then all conservatives have to do is point and say LOOK PEOPLE WANT TO LEGALIZE MARRYIN' YER DOG and be technically right based on the language people use.
My point is before you say shit make sure you qualify it.

The thing is, we recognize that racism is wrong and to an extent, we recognize that discrimination against gays is wrong too. But we continually advocate sexism and then we (especially men, ironically) claim that there is no need for feminism in 2011.

Stop saying "we". I recognize nothing you recognize categorically just to separate myself from you.

And think about it, men are still seen as sexual and it's ok for them to be sexual. If a woman is openly sexual, she is labeled as: skanky, slutty, or a whore.

Flashing back to pussy sensitivity. Anyway, moving on--

But here's what really upsets me and what made me realize that I've been thinking the wrong things about feminism: genital mutilation. It isn't practiced in the U.S. (anymore, to my knowledge) but it is in the Middle East, in Africa, and I think in Asia, too. Without going into gory detail, it's exactly what it sounds like: women being mutilated sexually (with razor blades or broken glass, my psych teacher has informed me.) It's done because it's "more appealing to men for marriage," or as a rite of passage into women hood.

Oh what do you call circumcision, then? Not genital mutilation?
Fuck you you two-standard bitch.

And don't even get me started on the media. The media is what helps feed all of this. Music and music videos are constantly depicting women as nothing but sexual objects, advertisements and Hollywood keep telling women that they need to be thin and perfect, but they more or less let the men slide. Yes, I acknowledge that the media affects men too, telling them that they need to be ripped and tan, but it's not nearly as prominent as it is with females.

Because men are less affected by such marketing. Stop being gullible twats and it'll go away.
What, you really think companies don't market to men that way just because?
Goddamn, I can't deal with this shit anymore, new entry.

The CW is pushing tomorrow's Supernatural to NEXT FUCKING WEEK.
EXCUSE ME?

WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK?!

I don't even know what that means but I get the impression you have a "crisis" every ten minutes.
Never short of things to be OUTRAGED about.

And truly? This is probably not normal. I'm spending an outrageous amount of money on this convention. Who does that? Who flies across an ocean and spends an unspeakable amount of money, just for a TV show convention?

>Probably not
No it definitely isn't.
Whoooa wandered off for a few hours and coughed up a lung.
Time to do something else.

faggotlaugh.wav

So today there's some bitch bitching about some shit I don't know I can't really see straight through all the fucking POLLEN. Goddamn I go outside and my car is just covered in fucking green tree SPERM and everyone in class today says "hur dur I guess no one is here because it's such a lovely day outside!" yeah, well, enjoy your frolic through tree REPRODUCTIVE SYRUP. :C
Oh, yeah, here's the fucking link.

definitely this is not one of my better days, or maybe i should say that is definitely not one of my worse papers.

Holy shit I can't decode your fucking double speak today. Please do not use complex thoughts.

because it's more than that. 3 hours of sitting for one paper, which had never happened to me ever since i was an edinburgh student. 3 hours of trying to analyse data and read between the lines while trying to gauge out every single info that might be in my head.

If that's a long time for one paper you're in for a real shock when you hit your sophomore year. Enjoy your 15 pages on shit you don't give a crap about so you have to make up your point as you go along then your fucking professor bitches that you don't make your point quick enough. BRO, I HAVE TO MAKE A POINT I COULD HAVE MADE IN ONE PAGE IN FIFTEEN PAGES. KEEP YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON, I HAVE TIME.
Sorry this is getting a bit tangential.

maybe i'm not a better person who i thought that i was. at this point i'd exhausted all my energy trying to respect and understanding people. now it had reduced me to become bitter and too tired to care.

Yeah, see, now you're getting it!

but can for the life of u ask whoever you have to ask before u make any conformation on the plan?

What?

because plans doesnt fall from the sky or written on rocks that i can just copy and paste. people actually spent time trying to make it work the moment people's responses were more positive than not. don't think that i can't live with disappointments because i've had my share on that too.

What?
Now there's some Sanskrit writing or some shit I don't know.
I only know one word in Sanskrit and only the characters that make it up so not my most fluent language, no. It's this, btw: मूलाधार
I'd explain it but a good mystery is more entertaining, I think.
Oh good grief now there's a poem. Didn't you Indian people invent poetry or some shit? Is this really the best you can do?

reading about how to read people's body language got the wheels in my head churning; is it possible that this is the result of simply thinking too much?

Reading body language is a very useful skill. It's basically the closest you can come to mind reading.

i don't find it possible to read another person's body language while talking. i mean , a mere mortal can only do so much right?

Yes, it is impossible to do two things at once.

maybe ignorance is a bliss...

Truly the logic of a feeble mind.

every so often, i like to take a breather and stop to think about my poor deluded soul.

Every so often I like to take a breather and wonder WHY YOU NEVER SHUT UP. :c

i'll do my best to finish my project analysis by tonight, byhook or by crook. have a feeling that i just might drop dead by the end of the week.

Well I guess that makes you a bit melodramatic, doesn't it? Your blog certainly does go on and on after this post.

i'm spending more and more time on computer lately, trying to analyze the proteins that i found and i'd have to say that the outcome looks pretty good. praise to god.

Yes, praise be to Jesus, or should I say BAPHOMET, HERETIC!?
the 'me-time' is unavoidable because of the nature to reflect ourselves or maybe to just stop thinking all-together.
I often had "me days" in Phantasy Star Online as a joke explanation for why I was a dick and took all the treasure. I didn't know people actually thought like this.
Actually, let me rephrase. I knew people thought like this (they are, after all, people and therefore unlikeable by default) but it's just weird to hear my own (joke) logic thrown back at me.

when you find life to suddenly becomes difficult and you felt as if you were smothered in a blanket,

I know the feeling. I just did the Red Mage artifact boots quest and it was a huge pain in my dick. If you had asked if I wanted to that quest for the boots or you'd give them to me after stepping on my dick for 30 seconds... Well I'd take the quest, but it would be close.

eppp. whats up? are u feeling down and unhappy about the amount of work that u have?

Nope.

do u think u have nothing to live for?

Nope.

do u feel like punching somebody elses face just for the sake of fun and fair sport?

Nope.

if your answer is yes (or even your answer is no i'd still say it), then u, my friend need quotes,

Sounds faggy. Let's see what some of your favorites are--

"some tortures are physical and some are mental, but the one that's both is dental" Ogden Nash

Ho shit if I never need to hire an inquisitor I know who to look for. The rest are, as previously predicted, pretty faggy.
Well that's it. I suspect this will be the last entry ever as I (finally) asphyxiate on my own phlegm from the aforementioned tree-- what was it? Tree reproductive syrup-- eww.