AM I KAWAII? UNGUU~

No. No you are not.
So there's this cunt, yeah, and her Livejournal name is kawaii_pocky (seriously). I picked her out today because I was watching American Idol last night (my testicles retreated into my abdomen where they remain to this very minute, thanks for asking) and I saw this guy who I can only describe as "an super faggot". His name is Adam Lambert, and he sings like a banshee. So when I saw his picture today on Livejournal I said "hey that guy looks familiar" and here we are.

So i was watching American Idol with my mom yesterday...

Yeah that's what I was doing too. Captain Cool I am.

and she started freaking out about this guy named Adam Lambert

Here's where we part company, because I think the collective reaction of my mom and me looked something like this:

Soo as i was saying, my mom was freaking out about him and i said that "I've heard a better voice", and she said i was lying!! Then she was all like "name a couple",

I have a few: every human being ever.
I'm even including George Thorogood and Bruce Sprinsteen in that list, that's how shitty this was.
... Okay maybe not as bad as Springsteen, but it's pretty close. They could be father and (gay) son.

so of coarse my jrock senses kicked in and i said "Kyo, Ruki, Hyde, Byou, Miku, etc etc.." and she was like
"who the hell are they?? Your dumb japanese singers??!"

Burn.

Thats when i really flipped out, im like "mom screw you and your gay ass Adam Lambert, even if he wins, im not going to hear about him let alone remember his name in a year!!"

Counter burn.

So then i just went upstairs and listened to some of my jrock albums. Blasting them actually, so my parents would compain that hey couldn't hear American Idol

:3 sounds like a pleasant family to be around. Incidentally I can't help but notice in your list of Japanese rock bands you forgot the one actually good band: B'z. Fuck year, they're touring with Aerosmith.

kk, so my dad and i were talking about my computer (he doesn't know its broken cuz he would flip shit), and he said that i might get his old computer...which would rock cuz it has SOO MUCH more memory, that i would use to put all my songs oh kehehehehe, soo yea but the problem is that it might not happen all right after i finish school (like a couple weeks), unlike if i get a new laptop (cuz i would get a new one like a couple days after..)

World's longest sentence. Also: interesting read. I really care about whatever the fuck it is I'm reading.

Hey everybody, recentally my computer broke. Yush Yush don't cry ( i did a little tho).

>Yush yush...
Hush hush
don't cry
Tongue-tied, I'm short of breath, don't even try
Try a little harder
Something's wrong, you're not naive, you must be strong
Ooh, baby, try
Hey girl, move a little closer.
You're
too shy, too shy, hush hush, eye to eye
Whoa she's prattling on about shit no one cares about and I got transported back to the 80s for a minute.
I'm sure that was completely unintentional on her part, too, because Kajagoogoo isn't one of her KAWAII JAPANESE SINGERS UNGUU
They are pretty fucking gay, though, so I'm sure she could get along well with them.

So i decided for this entry i would list the Top 10 songs i've been listening to this week!!

Let's play a fun game called "have you heard of this?"

10.
Kuso Breakin' Nou Breakin' Lilly - Maximum the Hormone

Nope.

9.
Vi-Vi-Vi - SuG

Nope.

8.
Summer Dive - AnCafe

... To make what would undoubtedly be a very long and tedious exercise slightly less long and tedious: 8-1: no.

*If you want one of these songs, ask me and i'll give you the link*

No thanks I'm listening to GUNS 'N' ROSES right now.

Hahaha, so a couple days ago i went to Newberry Comics at the mall and i got these really cool smoking rabbits and i just thought they were soo kawaii :3

Ha, ha, ha, no "kawaii :3" is what I do to mock your kind, you're not supposed to seriously do it.

Well, its raining outside, and im kinda bored LOL.

Anyone see a joke that would cause her to laugh? I'm not seeing it.

My other friend told me he keeps inscence in his pocket.. 0.o How weird is that??

Oh aren't you just the paragon of normalcy, miss "kawaii unguu :3 smoking rabbits kawaii!"
He probably keeps incense (as that is how it is spelled) in his pocket to keep the smell of pot covered.
Obviously.

There a really good band, that i've recentally heard of.

Nope. Not until you fix your grammar. I was about to say "if this was Japanese she'd have it fucking perfect" but I seriously doubt it.

OK, so well im going to Massachusettes this weekend and i need some new songs!! Yea even though i have songs i've never listened to on my ipod (lol)!

What.

Soo i really have nobody to talk to *cries*
lol

Shut up.
Oh, and this is the end of her blog.
Hooray, I'm finished!

OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

I've made the joke "I'm going blind because of the shitty color choice" and I'd like to apologize to all previous blogs I've said that about, because compared to today's visual onslaught, those previous blogs were tame.
Seriously, am I dying? Look at this shit.

I hate carrying big bulky objects for extended amounts of time. I like things that fit in my arms and don't poke or prod me and don't require me having to shake my arms to get feeling back into them. I often keep it so I rarely carry bulky or heavy objects, but today was not the case.

Oh of course the colors carry over into my blog. Thanks a lot Zabukawaiirl. Also it's really hard to care about whatever it is you're talking about when... LOOK AT THIS SHIT!

I know our school isn't as well off financialy as it used to be, but I really wanted a new sketchbook, and plus I'm leaving this year, so how much would our school loosing a sketchbook effect me?

So I guess the kid after you who doesn't get a sketchbook at all doesn't matter, huh?
Also: financially*, lose*, affect*. Come on, now. You're graduating high school, try a little harder.
Her entire story is she wants to take one of these sketchbooks so she put her crappy anime drawings in it over the summer, and in case you were wondering, this story has no closure. So I guess I will never know or care.

Final Teusday of highschool, afterall.

Tuesday*, after all* come on.
I keep hoping her blog will suddenly end so I can stop with the eye straining font, but alas, it keeps going.

I'll be testing and praying to Jesus and Satan and Ala and Budah and Chuck Norris and

Stop. I'm going to ignore for the moment you spelled Allah and Buddha wrong. Let's focus, first, on CHUCK NORRIS? CHUCK NORRIS JOKES? Year check: 2009, and Chuck Norris jokes were never funny. Also kill yourself. All right, proceed.

...Sponge Bob that I pass my classes and all the while it will feel like someone released an angry chinchilla in my insides.

Christ all mighty.

Then again, not a lot of things are. Karma's final blow be a very cruel mistress.

I'm going to forgive you for not understanding how karma works, considering the spelling of Buddha was beyond you, but suffice it to say, that's not actually how karma supposedly works.
What you're thinking of, I think, is the John Lennon song "Instant Karma".

but one of the largest online wars finally drew to a close over the weekend. You know, the one you all expected to end in bloodshed, a duel in an ally way somewhere resulting in a double homicide?

I have no idea what you're talking about, but considering this is coming from you, I'm going to guess it's stupid.

I still feel like skateboarding around school. Just breaking out a board and just traveling from class to class by skateboard while listening to Blink-182.

I thought the joke was on me, reviewing a blog from 1998, but nope, this blog was written on... March 11, 2009.

Nothing really that much to write about at this point. Just little blurbs about wanting to learn to play the guitar just for the soul purpose of playing songs with bottle caps from cans of soda (or whatever you call those little mettle things...)

Sole*, metal* also, the technical term you were looking for, Lady Phonics, is "tab".

I forgot to write about my amazing discovery yesterday morning that set my day off to what I believed to be a good start, but now I figure it was karma's way

All right I know I said I wouldn't, but you've done this a couple of times now, so let's go over karma.
Karma, not to be confused with Dharma (pay attention now), is the sum of your deeds in this life as well as in past lives. It is not a cause and effect relation, where if you were bad you will be punished. Instead, it's the sum factor of all the deeds you have ever done.
Dharma would be the teachings of the Buddha.

I have an inferiority complex because I was bullied and I wanna be Sasuke because I'm weak Baaaaaaaaaaaw!

What.
Well I would continue with this, but my eyes just fell out of my head. Godspeed, all.

Welcome to Die, X-men!

Today I'm going to be fishing in FFXI while updating, because there's no reason why this nonsense should cut into my mad fishing profits. Today's target is the elusive nebimonite, which looks like some kind of prehistoric shellfish or something I don't know-- anyway they sell for a lot. I think cooks make sushi out of them. I don't know, and I can't be bothered to figure out what those silly meleers eat. All I know is my character is on a steady diet of cakes, cookies and pies because very much like real life cakes, cookies and pies increase your sorcerous aptitude.
Oh right this blog thing. I almost forgot. So there's this cunt idk--

I found something on teh interwebs that will probably eat my entire afternoon: 1-star reviews on Amazon of things that are otherwise considered classics/best in their field.

Good heavens, people, with poor/no taste sharing their opinions on the internet? This has never happened before!
Also contrary to what school taught me and what I've probably said here many times to justify calling someone stupid for having a contrary opinion, your opinion can't actually be wrong.

Good grief... the one where the guy was complaining that Vonnegut trivialized death in Slaughterhouse Five and how that made it a dumb book... I...

Meanwhile the actual greatest book ever written, my commercial phenomenon Twilight is enjoying a solid... Four stars on Amazon!

It's not that people aren't allowed to miss the point, but do they have to advertise it by leaving bad reviews on Amazon? XD

lol! there sure is a lot of funny business going on on this, what is it, Internet! XP

Now I have read somewhere that ancient egyptians used to feed their slaves beer to make them pliant and harder workers, as well as providing for their calorie needs while they worked.

Those ancient Egyptians were smart people. I'm not commenting on the institute of slavery, but if you have tons of slaves you need to be compliant, that's a smart way to go about it.

So I'm reading through a forum discussing people's favorite childhood books, and my eyes keep getting bigger and rounder at remembering all these books I loved as a child. Remember The Phantom Tollbooth? Ever read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

No, I was always a bitter, jaded adult and I've never heard of these :c

So I have this spreadsheet where I track all of my bills data - income and outflow of cash, really.

Not getting too technical, are you? You're not really supposed to qualify something with "really" unless the statement that preceeded it was somehow unclear or technical.

Until today, I hadn't listed my house balance on the interest-bearing debt portion of the spreadsheet, because my plans to pay it off were so long term that I didn't bother.

Oh this is genius. "Long term debt is so long term I won't even bother tracking it because I'll die before it's all paid off!" what, it would take you 5 hours to add an extra number to another column every month?

And then I sat and looked at the balance of my total interest bearing debts... and it didn't look that bad. It's around $83k, and I'm wondering how I can be in a place where $83k doesn't seem like a lot of money.

>83k
>not a lot of money
hrm.

Then I realize, it's likely because of our economy, and listening to news bits about the billions of dollars other people apparently need to bail themselves out, $83k is peanuts.

Yeah, but you're not getting billions of dollars. Meanwhile this entire thing blows over and you're still the better part of 100,000 dollars in debt.

So our passport cards came in the mail a couple days ago. 80 days until the cruise whee!

You're almost 100,000 in debt and you're taking a cruise?
I guess she counts her mortgage as part of her debt, which would make sense.

So I pray to the G-man upstairs, and I say "Hey, please, help my husband, he's very stressed out and I don't know how to help him. Please show him how to cope with stress."

Please no.

And the G-man, he goes, "Want him to learn to deal with stress? Ok. Here's a raccoon."

Fuck me.

Seriously. Phil hit a raccoon doing 70 mph on the interstate in Ohio... practically obliterated the front end of the car.

Fucked that raccoon up, I bet.

So I'm sitting on the stairs, putting on tennis shoes, contemplating yogurt... and the dog starts getting all excited, and I start talking to her "Let's see, if I spent $1.79 on a half gallon of milk, and from that got a quart of yogurt and some cheese... divide by two..." during which Lady gets increasingly aggressive excited, and a light bulb goes off over my head "Oh! You don't CARE about math, do you? You're a DOG!"

Ha, my rocket science knows no boundaries. Time for walkies tho, eh? :)

Wacky hijynx!

Some things that were iffy: I couldn't get the milk up to 185 in my double boiler. It hovered at about 181 for an hour, so I had to hope that was good enough.

Oh what could possibly go wrong?

Given that my double boiler is just a big bowl on a pot of water, I'm guessing 181 is where the heat loss from the surface area = the heat gain from the bottom of the bowl.

That's not really how that works, but okay.

Half-assed theory, given my very vague background in chemistry and physics (yay high school XD), but it's what I got.

Hypothesis* also lol xD
Now there's a huge list of resolutions that include such impossible feats of willpower as:
living within her means
and
not eating like a total pig
OH MY GOODNESS!
So now she admits to cyberstalking someone and being pregnant and other shit I don't know

And then this morning, listening to that Will Smith song, Just the Two of Us, and getting all bleary again.

>Will Smith song
>emotional response outside disgust or cynical bemusement
All right I'm sick of this.