Basically perfect, so hit me with your best shot

So it took a little more than two steps (three steps) and a lot longer than expected (it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize any NPC movement in the zone, regardless of whether or not they were visible on screen fucked the whole process up) but I did it. Perfect IV Mismagius.
Whether or not this is an ideal arrangement is academic, really. She misses out on hidden power fighting (and therefore has imperfect coverage), but gains a perfect speed IV and therefore outspeeds both Honchkrow and other Mismagiuses (Mismagii?) so I'm okay with this.
I have also not been neglecting FFXI, and am now level 51 and have to level both ninja (:C) and dragoon now (:c).
If you can outdo this you are a LYING CUNT, so let's dig right in.

Dressing up and wearing new clothes makes me feel pretty and good about myself (I think I want to get another haircut for even shorter hair).

hurr hurr

Even though after early release school today the guys and I didn't do anything, I got a ride home and right now pumping some music still feeling so good!

Oh my God what is this song? It's-- it's horrific. They took all the shitty music of a shitty music year and blended it into one thing. Holy shit, it's like a universal still point of shitty music! It's like every point of time existed solely to come to this moment.
This must be what the Bible as banging on about in the Book of Revelation with the Trumpets of Jericho and the four horsemen and shit.
Quick, someone call the Vatican. I'm wrong about everything, and I've found the Antichrist.

I am going to channel all my energy to making myself feel good despite what has happened, and focus hard on homework.

Despite THE END TIMES I'm going to try hard to focus on homework.
Now we come to my favorite part of blogtime: shitty poetry.
There's a lot and I'm not going through all this, so I'm going to pick out a couple based solely on the accompanied "current mood" tag.
Here our sweet Juliet (her name is Julie, roll with me on this, all right) is "rejected" so let's see.
Presumably the title is actually the first line of the poem, otherwise it would start with "but", and that's not proper grammar.
Not that it would stop anyone, but whatever, let's just assume.

It's over and done
But the heartache lives on inside
And who's the one you're clinging to
Instead of me tonight?

And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You'll never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
Lost in the song...

Wow that was... Wow. I hear tell there's this thing in writing called, what was it, "imagery"? Yeah, something about describing images or something.
You know that song by Duran Duran, Hungry Like The Wolf?
No of course you don't. Well look it up, and that's kind of what imagery is like. See, he's in touch with the ground and shit? Yeah, that sets the mood. It also employs something called an "extended metaphor". Specifically, in this case, a simile. You remember that shit, don't you? Comparison using "like" or "as"?
See, he's not actually a wolf, but he's like one, and that helps build the image and the tension of the story--
Well whatever.
Oh great now she's quoting from that song by that bitch, what's her face, Kesha (not spelling that with a dollar sign get fucked). Which reminds me of another thing I abhor: the song "Tik Tok" by Kesha.
Oh and there's her picture.
Yeah she's a cute girl. I'm not sure what her fucking problem is otherwise, but she's cute.
Now here's another poem, called "Hope Like an Ocean" which I don't know how I can "hope like an ocean" or if an ocean can even hope, but let's find out.

Well I rise and fall I hit the ground,
I just don’t know where to turn,
But the good lord he told me that,
Some day you’ve got to learn
That hope like the ocean will return with tide,
Don’t get lost in the moment,
You gotta see that there’s more to life

So-- hope, like an ocean, is something? Is that the comparison we're going with here?

Don’t be so pessimistic
Not a reason in the world to complain
Don’t waste a moment
Feel the sunlight shine on your face
You’ve gotta be optimistic
See the world from a different view
Don’t waste a minute
This life might escape from you

Wow, that's deep. Don't be pessimistic, be optimistic! You know when you describe two interchangeable states of mind it doesn't really make sense, right? You could have just as easily said "don't be happy, be angry!" or "don't be fatalistic, be nihilistic!"

Recently, I started talking to myself in the mirror >___>. It seems like lately I have to lie quite a lot. I feel terrible but I was told to, in order to deceive a family member for their own good.

Lie constantly. There's never a good reason to tell the truth.

There's a FORK in my UTERUS. Twisting. Aching. OW.

Wow.
I have a pen knife in my testicle right now.
Don't see me complaining, do you?

*Fork in uterus is metaphorically describing how I feel right now.

Oh.
OH WELL FUCK YOU. You do know what a metaphor is, so what the fuck is with you poetry?
Goddamn, people.
Now there's one of those meme things where she posts a ton of personal information-- yeah I think we're going to skip that, Christ. Make it easy for a stalker, why don't you?

I dealed to 8-14 people for Texas Hold'em. It was fun, but also very stressful as I had to start making lots of sidepots for when people did all-in.

Texas Hold'em, like all things Texas, is really just a facade of something invented by other, superior cultures.
Also cool grammar on "dealed". What are you, five?
Now here's her Halloween costume and she went as Ash Ketchum from Pokemon.
Yeah I don't know what that's about, but we can trade Pokemon, if you'd like.
I'm not using creepy double entendre, either. I need a Tyranitar :(
Besides, the bitches are so turned on by my Pokemon skills I don't need double entendre.
Also: girl dressing up as a boy. Very Freudian.
Well my darlings I think that's all for today. You're pretty boring, Julie. I suggest livening up some, or having some interesting thoughts or personality traits or something.
I've seen more character from my Pokemon, do ho.

SEMICOLONS

I have always felt that the semicolon should be filed under the "with restraint" category. Alongside the exclamation point and the ellipsis, the semicolon should only be used when there is absolutely no other way to properly express your meaning. However, unlike the exclamation point and the ellipsis, the semicolon doesn't exactly imply a certain tone. I think if you went through my blog you would find (outside of other people using it [likely improperly, of course]) maybe twice that I've used the semicolon. That's probably being generous. I wouldn't be surprised that I haven't used it at all in the past year and a half.
Actually, no, I tell a lie. I do recall using it once to make fun of someone else using it improperly.
So I'd be honestly surprised if I've used it more than once.
So imagine my surprise when I come across this blog, a blog that manages to use the semicolon a staggering 42 times on the front page alone.
And you'll never guess what: amazingly, not all of them are properly used.
I know, I know.

Kristen's fiery passion, indeed, makes very nations fearful.

I don't know. It's grammatically correct but it lacks the nuances of someone who actually knows how to write (or speak English). Usually when you say "indeed" it's to expound on something, not the OPENING FUCKING SENTENCE. Sometimes you can do shit like that to emulate picking up a conversation at the midpoint but no, this just sucks. Also: "very nations"? Shouldn't that be "the" very nations? Even with a definite article it still doesn't make much sense. The very nations of what? Who the fuck is Kristen?

I terrified and angered several people over a blog I posted on Facebook the other day.

Oh no, you've invoked the wrath of FACEBOOK? What are you going to do with yourself?

Does the fact that I am so passionate about these selected people really scare everyone? Or is it that I wasn't passionate about them, and they desperately needed to feel like it was? Is passion so forgotten and disliked that it's now a complete social taboo?

Passionate FOR FUCKING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK, sweetheart. Don't act like you're fucking Passion of the Christ (different meaning of passion but whatever) on this shit, please.

I dreamt that I had become relatively successful; lived upper-middle-class; payed my debts.

SEMICOLONS DO NOT REPLACE COMMAS.
I don't know why people have such problems with this. Just look at a semicolon. It's a period on top of a comma. THAT EXPLAINS THE MEANING.
Also she calls this dream "a nightmare" which if those are nightmares I'd like to see your good dreams.
So skipping through some nonsense I come to this:

I have always believed that YHWH misplaced my eyes when he put me together.

Oooookay. "YHWH" also known as the "Tetragrammaton" (not a Transformer, honest) is some sort of fancy-pants Hebrew bullshit for the TRUE NAME OF GOD because his name isn't "GOD" or even "JESUS" it's something so HORRIFIC AND TERRIFYING if you knew it'd blow your mind up like Kenshiro just punched you square in your stupid face.
Which in terms of Biblical bullshit is actually pretty awesome, but I've never actually seen anyone outside of, say, the yo-yos that wrote Xenogears seriously use it.

My mother has beautiful, clear, grey-green eyes. My dad has equally lovely deep brown eyes.

Megan and myself got brown eyes and my younger sister has lovely hazel eyes.

So we can trust God "misplaced your eyes" (God, as WE ALL KNOW, is perfect as his creation, so you're a FILTHY HERETIC for suggesting otherwise) or we can do some high school science to figure it out. I made a chart demonstrating how such a MYSTERIOUS EVENT could occur but I'll spare anyone reading this the details and just call you an idiot.

I wore hazel contacts today, and very little makeup. and people still told me I was pretty.
I believe that there is a certain honesty that lighter colors bring out in me. A certain vulnerability... a realistic me.

Oh please, do continue.

The one I dont want people to know.
This is the part of me that deeply desires to be held by someone they love. This is the one who dreams of her broken past becoming an equally broken future.
When I dont look like myself, i feel more like myself than when I dress normally. There's something wrong with me, I know.

Oh I was just kidding about that "do continue" thing. It was sarcastic, see.
Now she has an "lolxD" post about various philosophers answering the ol' classic "why did the chicken cross the road?" and they're all very douchey except for one from my personal hero, Tomás de Torquemada, first Inquisitor General of Spain:

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Nobody fucks with Torquemada.
He's pretty much the only person directly imported into Warhammer 40,000 with absolutely no changes made to his character and yet he fits perfectly.

I've also, for the first time since I have begun considering at the age of 13, I have decided that it is my sincere desire to be Jewish. A local Rabbi was gracious enough to make an appointment with me so I may ask what I must do to make the conversion.

You know you have to learn Hebrew, right?
Or maybe you don't anymore, shit. The Catholic church softened and doesn't require Latin.

Reflection can be a dangerous thing.

I've had too much time on my hands lately; and too much of it alone.

I'm afraid I've been thinking.
A dangerous pastime, I know.

(kudos if you sang along)

What?
I'm trying to imagine the tune you would play behind those lines and nothing that makes sense is really coming to mind.

despite my low GPA from Otis screwing me over.

Oh look at that handy excuse "MY GPA IS SCREWING ME OVER". Well who got that low GPA?
Listen, I just survived the douchiest semester of college in history and I still came out with like a 3.6 or something. Not my personal best, but I'm not all "passionate" and shit like you are, so you should be able to do much better than me.

But if things have to be this way, I'm not gonna try to fight it anymore.


I've tried so hard,

OH FUCK. Of all the songs to be reminded of, this reminds me of a... Linkin Park(?) song.
I have to hand it to you. Even the douchebaggiest of the douches at least remind me of something like Al Green or Aerosmith. You remind me of Linkin Park.
That's-- that's something to be proud of, I guess.
Now she's quoting the blog of someone else and I can only summarize it as "the ramblings of a fucking mental patient," but it does contain this line:

THE SWORD, NOW USED AS SHIELD.

Yeah that'd be called a parry, bro. Parry and riposte. Basics of fencing, now. Of course only the French can do something queer like add a point-based rule system to sword fighting but okay I'll roll with it. (look up fencing terms for added hilarity. Suddenly fencing sounds like a mix of ballet and gay porn)

I decided to get away this weekend; go to yuma.

So you know what's way fucking better than anything I'll ever read in this blog? 3:10 to Yuma.
In fact, yeah fuck this noise. Going to go watch a movie or something.