Fuck Christmas

I skipped Christmas because fuck it frankly.
Hopefully you idiots are over the festivities and the stock market can return to usual.
J/k we have another half day/day off coming up due to New Year's.
No wonder the Chinese are beating us.
And new record. This blog took approximately 10 seconds for me to know for a fact I have a winner.
This person is a Christopagan (a what) against gender binary and heteronormativity.
Welcome.

I'm worried I missed the answer to this, but do you and Clarence belong to a specific elf tribe? I know you said you do some energy work similar to the Dragons-- is that it?


Clarence and I are formally identified with the Serpents and we are in fact Dragons, which is a group for mated twin-pairs sponsored/hosted by the Serpents (though Dragons may come from any tribe, but are trained within Serpent territory, by Serpents who are also Dragons). So the energy work that we do is not similar to the Dragons, it is what the Dragons do.

Clarence originally started off as Wolf tribe and I originally started off as Hare, but an incident happened in mid-2012 where we were “transferred” to the Serpent tribe. Changing tribal affiliation is extremely rare, but the incident was also unprecedented. We were also told once taken in by the Serpents that we were meant for the tribe all along but had to “shed our skin” first.

Roleplaying garbage or paranoid delusions of the mentally ill?
I'll leave that for your judgment.

The way that having the dual affiliation works is that we do work as Serpents, and with the Serpents, as well as work as Dragons. The overwhelming majority of people do not have dual affiliation. In fact, the Dragons are the only group where one can be affiliated with one tribe as well as that tribe. The other tribes have subgroups - the Ravens have the White Ravens, for example - but one has to be a member of that tribe in order to be a member of its subgroup. One does not have to be a Serpent to be a Dragon, though the overwhelming majority of the Dragons come from either the Serpents or the Boars.

You can also give this person a tip for doing a good job.
I was thinking the tip of my fist but no, they mean money.

Hi, you're amazing. How do you make sense of the Christian side of your ChristoPaganism in the context of your otherworldly travels and elf soul and all that business? I love to pick the brains of my fellow ChristoPagans; hope I'm not being too intrusive!


Thank you! <3 comment-3--="">

ChristoPagan.
That's a thing you can be.
What, was Christianity or Paganism too mainstream?

As far as how I reconcile it with otherworldly travels and having an elf soul with the Christian side of the Christopaganism…

As mentioned earlier, there is a corroborated gnosis that the progenitors of the elves, Ana and Ka’el, had three sets of twin siblings and one of those sets was Elyon and Elat, who with the host of angels comprises Elohim. Thus angels and elves are cousins. I believe that they are “playing for the same team”, to protect and preserve the world and care for humans.

My belief in Christ is part of a polytheistic package. He is one of my Powers, not the only one, and has an influence on me trying to be compassionate and stand up for what I believe in. I do not believe I have to renounce my pagan values or the fact that I am non-human-souled to have him as one of my Powers.

What the fuck am I reading
Holy hell what have I done?
How am I supposed to write about this?
What is there to say outside of "what in the fuck?"

Yay, it's Vanaheim Friday again! So I wanted to ask this last time, but was too timid, so here goes... I've had visions a couple times of an elven city in the snow.

I know. Bummer they cancelled the last 2 Skyrim DLCs, huh?
Snow Elf and one focusing on the Thalmor. That shit would have been the mothefuck.

Made of snow and ice. Each time I've seen this city, it's been under moonlight (full moon), and the homes (I guess?) have been illuminated by soft yellow light. Keep in mind the homes are made of snow (like igloos, but not), and it just looked really cool. Have you ever heard of/know of a city like this, or is my mind being silly?

Like a thousand entries ago I made a joke about people who think their thoughts are real and they can't distinguish between reality and shit they think so they just conclude they have the spirit of squirrels or whatever--
Suddenly I'm not feeling so clever as THAT IS QUITE APPARENTLY WHAT PEOPLE DO ACTUALLY DO.
It's like someone said "yeah fuck you asshole I'm actually going to do that let's see how smart you'll feel in a year when I make this blog."

You are probably having visions of another elven realm, to be honest. Eshnahaliel =/= all the elven realms. Just because a place like that doesn’t exist in Eshnahaliel doesn’t mean you aren’t legitimately seeing another elven realm where that does exist. There are other realms than Eshnahaliel where elves live and have their own cultures and structures.

I will also repeat again that Eshnahaliel really does not have anything that modern humans would think of as an actual city. At best, there is the capital which has the government building, a market square, some inns and pubs, and the ritual space. The tribal territories tend to either be arranged as small villages or where the citizens are more spread out. While it is currently wintertime in Eshnahaliel and there is a fair amount of snow on the ground, there is no place in Eshnahaliel that is frozen year-round, their climate and terrain is rather similar to northern/central Europe with some variants in flora and fauna (species of flora specific to Eshnahaliel). 

I mean it's a parallel fucking dimension with elves in it but the flowers can't be that different.
I had a dream once I was banging all 9 members of 9muses.
Maybe that was me in a parallel reality.
With elves.

So if you’re seeing an actual large city, you’re seeing a different realm altogether. I’m sure you’re seeing somewhere in the Otherworld, it’s just a question of where. I don’t know any elven realm that’s like that but I only have experience with Eshnahaliel and Ljossalfheim, and what I’ve heard of the realm of the Dokkalfar, but I know there’s more elven realms than that, there are many, many elven realms and cultures. How many, I don’t know, but something is out there. ^^

AKA "the bullshit high fantasy realm you invented and are now treating like it's real differs from the one I made so therefore you're either wrong or it's yet ANOTHER DIMENSION OOOO"

I've a couple questions, possibly too blunt—you can choose not to answer of course. :) Since the Eshnahai are so long lived, do they have population issues in Vanaheim? Also, do they have the same personality variety that humans have? Or do they tend more towards homogeneity on some aspects. I've seen you mention bi- and pansexuality as being the norm, for example. Are some traits just reversed majority/minority from humans, or is there no real minority at all?

Let's predict the answer.
I'm going to guess that no there are no population issues because much like Tolkien says the reality is elves aren't especially fertile.
Also of course pansexuality and bisexuality are the norm because how else could this loonie toon keep this fantasy up so long?

The Eshnahai also control their fertility. Eshnahai women do not menstruate regularly like human women do. In order for pregnancy to happen, both parties have to consent to creating a soul together, and raise energy and “push” the energy along. Otherwise the males “shoot blanks” and there is an energetic barrier around the womb, only the raising of energy by both parties will result in a pregnancy. In the case of twins, which is less common but not unheard of, the one soul manifests in two bodies. (people should ask me about Vanic twins sometime, I have extensive knowledge of this being I am/have one)

FUCK YOU THIS MAKES SENSE.
If you think this is stupid and gay you are a racist.

As far as the bi/pan thing being the norm, yes it is. Occasionally you do find someone who is completely straight or completely gay, and there is also an asexual minority in the population. You tend to not see the prejudices in Eshnahaliel that you see in human society because the Eshnahai tend to believe love is sacred in all its forms, and asexuals are regarded as having a certain kind of magical power because their energy is being channeled into other things. 

Like there's just no way this can be reality.
Even if you can buy into a religion this particular one just sounds dumb and made up.

There is also a percentage of the population which can change gender at will (I would be included in that :D); the progenitors of the Eshnahai, Ana and Ka’el the Serpent Twins, were gender-shifters as well as shapeshifters, “shedding their skin” at will. It should also be mentioned here that Eshnahai society is extremely egalitarian and lacks the concept of gender roles for the most part. Women as well as men are taught to hunt, fight, sew, cook, care for children, heal, and so on. And everyone has fabulous hair. ;)

Oh, of course. Everyone is also gender neutral and can change genders at will.
So coincidentally your magic land of fantasy reality also has all of the exact traits you wish you had.
I blame the internet for this. If you had blatantly stupid views like this before the internet you couldn't say anything because you knew no one else had fucked up ideas like this and if you voiced them you got your ass kicked.
But now you can just Google "am I the only pansexual wolf-spirit Christopagan in the world?" and you're a click away from at least a dozen communities that share your dumb views on shit.

I was asked:

Last time y'all talked about the original twins in detail, the fire twins were Surt and Sinmora and the water were Kali and Shiva. Is that still your understanding? How do the more elemental jotnar like the fire jotnar fit in?

That's still my understanding, yes.

My understanding is that Surt and Sinmora are the progenitors of the elemental Jotnar like the fire Jotnar, whereas Ana and Ka'el are the progenitors of both the elves and the non-elemental Jotnar, like the trolls and animal-shifters. 

Is anyone else having violent flashbacks to Einherjar from FFXI right now?

Surt also told me that he and Sinmora are the progenitors of the Greek Titans which made me go o_O and I have no idea what to think about that. 

So there you go.
One of the more sinister figures from Norse mythology gave birth to an unrelated pantheon in Greek mythology.
Spooooooky.
Are you ready for what I'm hoping is an explanation for this shit?
No?
Me neither!

So for those of you who are new-er around here and don’t know the saga of 2013, gather round, I got a story to tell you.

Saga indeed.

Up until July 2013, I was living with my partner of seven years, and our two cats. On July first, he dropped the bomb on me that he was moving out of state in twelve days and he was taking the cats and he was not taking me with him, and I would have to find new living arrangements. 

Anyone want to bet on the gender of this person?
I'm guessing female for no real reason.
So her boyfriend rightly kicked her to the curb undoubtedly because of this shit.

After scrambling, two longtime friends of mine who I’d met via the Internet told me I could stay with them in Portland. So on July eleventh, I flew from Long Beach, California, to Portland, Oregon, and I’ve lived here since then.

About a month after moving to Portland, everything hit me and I got suicidal. Things hadn’t been going so well with my ex-partner prior to him dropping the GTFO-bomb, and another person I was dating called it quits because her own life was in upheaval. I had moved in with my ex-partner to escape a bad living situation with my abusive mother, who I’d moved back in with after being in a residential facility for psych issues which I’d wound up in after an abusive relationship after being abused growing up and blah, blah, blah. So everything hit me, I felt like a worthless piece of shit and that there was no point in continuing on, and I was legit going to kill myself. I had a plan, and I wasn’t going to tell anyone.

The hits keep on comin'.

My spirit companion, Clarence, who is a Vanic elf, threw me out of my body and took over for awhile. It was hard for him, because he had to adjust to wrong body, life on Earth (it’s one thing to be at my side and see how money works and so on, another thing to do it yourself), and the challenges of having different brain wiring. He did it to keep me from killing myself and also to give me a break from things here for awhile.

I like how she just casually says "oh yeah my spirit companion who's an elf threw me out of my body to keep me from killing myself."
So where'd you go, then?
What about this religious view is Christian?

and I was asked earlier today by someone else what I consider to be the difference between a witch and a wizard, and why I don’t consider the terms interchangeable, so here goes.

I'm equipped to answer this.
I play Diablo 3.
A wizard has arcane power as its main source of casting spells and witches can identify magic items.
I hope I cleared this up.

Since some people have nothing better to do with their time than stalk my blog, or feed stalkers information about what I post:

You don't know me.

YEAH FUCK YOU.
All this insane rambling online?

How dare you judge her based on this shit!

Over the last while I have been fairly open about the fact that I have two spirit husbands, both elves, and that I love me some elven cock.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHAT

When I, personally, have elf!sex, I am masturbating while I astrally project.

Haha oh wow.
This just keeps getting better and better.

So for those of you who don't already know this, Loki is my father.

"But Nono! Aren't you elven otherkin?"

Well, yes. In my elven incarnation, I had elven mother, Loki was my father. The Eshnahai count you as whatever your mother is, so Clarence and I were treated as Eshnahai growing up back in the day a long long time ago.

Yeah anyway. I can accept all this other crazy shit but Loki is your dad, WHAT?

how does it feel to have a human body on this side but you are very clearly an elf despite that?

I have body dysphoria. Some of it is because I’m gender-fluid, which is influenced by the elven form. (Not all Eshnahai are gender-shifters but some of us are. I am one of them. Our people consider it sacred.)

I sometimes experience phantom sensations like feeling the points on my ears, and I have been told by quite a few people over the years that my energy is really, really, really bright (and as such I tend to be “tasty” to psi vamps, so Clarence and Jarod have had to teach me about warding myself in a way that doesn’t negatively affect my natural energy but still protects me from things wanting to snack on me without consent).

Yeah you know.
Psychic vampires.
That's a thing that exists you ignorant cunt.
What the fuck do I even say to this?

Crappy cell phone pics of my shrine to Lucifer and my working altar.

Ha ok I'm in.

So, I already talked about this on Tumblr, but I'll talk about it here too.

One thing that I am not a fan of is hateblogs, or bastard culture forums, which is to say people whose purpose in life seems to be making fun of people about stuff.

 For those who haven't already heard about this, a god graveyard was put up by an atheist student group from the University of Wisconsin on Bascom Hill.

3edgy5me bro

As a polytheist, I am completely fucking disgusted by this. 

Who
cares
Wow this blog got boring.
Whew.
That was something.
Like what the fuck am I even supposed to do with all this fuck now?
Probably best to stop thinking about it.
So she might talk about elves being her spirit animal but my inner spirit animal is Marky Mark so let's do that as the song of the day.
Fuck.

ADVENT

Oh boy Christmas falls on a Wednesday this year.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck offffff.
Already the entries are shit like "hurrr Christmas shopping" and Wednesday is going to be absolutely insufferable with the Christmas fanfic about Sherlock fucking Watson on Christmas.
Anyway let's do this shit.

Fender bender at Target today. :| I would normally never go into a parking lot just a couple of days before Christmas, but Dad asked if I could pick up some Tupperware for Melissa (this is actually a good present), so I did ... and as I was backing out, someone else backed into me. Because their corner hit the side of my car, I think it's pretty clear that I was further out when they bumped me, at least.

lol women driving cars

But knowing some of the inner workings of insurance makes me REALLY UNEAGER to get involved in the whole reporting, even though I know I have to.

So don't?
You don't have to tell your insurance company diddly dick.
Let's read her "possibly controversial" opinion of Christianity.

1. I looove Christmas. The Christmas spirit, Christmas specials, the idea that there's ~something about this time of year~. Thick snow on the ground, curling up in the warm.

HOLY SHIT
CONTROVERSY
 EASY THERE I MIGHT CUT MYSELF ON THOSE EDGES.

2. I'm so not Christian, I'm not sure that there even was an historical Jesus (the fact that most of the scholars saying that no serious scholar would question his realness anymore appear to be Christian doesn't help) and think that if there were he was probably about 10% of what Bible!Jesus is. So very much not Christian.

Have I ever told you how much I hate the thing!name thing?
Biblical Jesus. Just say that. Don't get douchey with the bullshit fanfiction speak.

3. I am actually sort of embarrassed when people talk about Jesus. Not quite sure why. It's not a condescending embarrassment, like I think people should stop because it's wrong or anything.

 Wow this argument is fucking garbage.
I can't believe this needed a cut.
This is controversial?
Show some fucking passion.

4. I always have this TREMENDOUS cloud of guilt over the whole thing because Christmas's overwhelming of December obviously provokes discussion of Christian-centricity and privilege. I am clearly privileged in that my holiday of choice is the loudest and most powerful one, but ... because I'm not Christian and I choose to celebrate it (if one can be said to choose to celebrate a holiday that one's entire family celebrates) ... I don't even know what I want to say here, I just feel conflicted and like I'm sideways-Christian and have to consider myself a follower of Jesus even though (2). Why do I always have so much guilt and anxiety about everything?

5. Bella's church play was terrible even for a children's church play, and I realize that the original script had snowflakes in circles replacing the Os, but when your program reads "Sn*wflake C*unty" seeing the obvious does not mean I have a "dirty mind".

Woooooow.
So your opinion on Christianity is:
You're not a Christian but you celebrate Christmas.
WELCOME TO HALF OF AMERICA YOU STUPID CUNT.
It took you five (5) bullet points to reach that shocking conclusion never before reached by the mind of man.
You couldn't even manage an edgy atheist view?
Here let me give you a controversial opinion, then, since I feel bad for anyone reading this. I know I didn't sell it but at some point you were promised controversy.
Monotheism is poisonous and society was better off Pagan.
There.

My interview today went really well! I asked one of the questions that are supposed to be the right ones ("What's your ideal candidate for this job?" - answer, basically how I'd described myself, yes) and semi-lied about how I could see myself still there in 2-5 years. It's just a mail room job, and only for a couple of months, but I think I'd be suited.

>Semi-lied (what)
>said you'd stay 2-5 years
>only planning on staying months
No that'd just be a regular lie, idiot.

Somehow I've ended up browsing Amazon's "historical fiction about women in tumultuous periods of English history" section again. 

And science fiction and fantasy are still under the umbrella "scifi/fantasy" category.
Life ain't fair, man.

Okay, um. I suppose now I can claim a lot of cred because I have seen all of the following arguments:
- If you ship slash, you are disgusting and perverting the text and the obviously straight characters.
- If you don't ship slash, you are boring and unimaginative.
- If you don't ship slash, you are homophobic and ignoring the obvious subtext.
- If you ship slash, you are disgusted by women and hate all female characters (and yourself).
- If you ship slash, you are fetishizing gay men and are terrible.
- If you ship femslash, you are actually a liar because you don't. You only pretend to in order to look good.

WHY GOD WHY. How does anyone even have energy for this anymore? 

Who cares?
Who has the energy for this?
Certainly not me.
Like you're just writing shitty fanfiction because you're a no talent hack with no imagination. Just everyone play nice in your no-creativity world and enjoy it.

Yesterday I got the trifecta of bad.

Trifecta of bad?
Phantasy Star Universe with Bruce Sprinsteen album playing and you're trapped in Texas?
Because unless someone put a gun to your head and said "do this shit motherfucker" this is entirely your fault.
No one makes you play Phantasy Star Universe.
And admittedly I still have Vietnam war-tier flashbacks to how shit it is but you know.
I'll survive.

Sexism! "I don't know how those girls can call rape when they dress the way they do."

Oh.

Racism! [On a kid in Albany who picked up an abandoned gun in a vacant lot and accidentally shot himself in the hand, and his relatives talking on YNN.] "What do they think, living in places like that? Move out of that neighborhood!"

How is that racism?
Shit neighborhood. Leave.

Classism! ... Damn, I forgot the specifics for this one. Anti-Obamacare stuff. (YNN's been running a thing about how NY is starting to implement it for people who make less than $45k. I may be eligible for Medicaid!) It was there, though. It's actually there just about every day.

As a man who makes no money whatsoever I am anti-Obamacare.
This is weak.
That is not the trifecta of bad that I know.

Yup, getting involved in another argument on Jezebel about historical fashion. This is my life now, objecting nerdily when people say corsets cause health problems or Chanel blah blah blah THERE ARE BETTER NON-NAZI FEMINIST FASHION ICONS OUT THERE

Woooooow arguing on feminist blogs about historical fashion.
So cool.

A blog this gay deserves a very homosexual song of the now.
I'm stopping this entry here incidentally. I can't handle talks about Victorian fashion and feminism.
Like who gives a shit, honestly?

Ha

Wow it feels like a week since I last updated.
Oh shit I'm sorry.
I found a blog that I was going to review but then I found out it was in character and it was like a roleplay/fanfic thing.
Bad sign when your fanfic is so boring I think it's really you posting.
The only sign I had that it wasn't actually a real person was the line "I'm a spy."
Either you're the worst spy ever or the best spy ever.
I found another blog that was good but it just started--
more fanfic crap--
here we go.
That was a tough one.

If you begin an essay with, "I don't really know much about..." and then have the gall to carry on writing for five paragraphs, I don't know why I or anyone else should bother to read it.

If you're ignorant, shut up or find something by someone who's not ignorant and read it. If you aren't ignorant about a given topic, don't start off insisting that you are. You don't look suitably humble, you just look like a tool.

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took

But I do know that  

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU NOT GONNA FINISH IT.

I have started but not finished about four books in the last week. I don't think I will finish Sherwood Smith's Crown Duel, because I got about two chapters in and realized all the characters annoyed me. I am not sure if I will pick up Ekaterina Sedia's The Alchemy of Stone again, because it is very Manic Pixie Dreamgirl. I am probably going to finish Walter Mosley's Little Green, because it is a Walter Mosley novel and he is a sufficiently good prose stylist that I can get through even a substandard volume, which I don't think this is. 

Huh yeah that's cool meanwhile in the land of stories that aren't fucking gay I'm reading Vulkan Lives.

Turns out the reason Vulkan lives is because he's a perpetual like John Grammaticus and therefore can't die.

Oh by the way if you don't want the story spoiled you might not want to read that previous sentence.

But why is he a perpetual?
Did the Emperor do that on purpose or is it like Sanguinius' wings?

If it was on purpose, why?

WHO KNOWS.

The Unremembered Empire is going to be off the fucking chain though.

Look how fucking metal this cover is.

Folks, when I write a lengthy post about something I think is cool, and explain why I think it's cool even though it's challenging to figure out at first, and two different people respond with, "I still hate it," I don't have a civil response.

>Reading all those words

har not today, asshole.

If, despite my reasonable and articulate arguments, you haven't read Homestuck, now is your last opportunity to do so while there is some surprise left about how things will end.

I tried to read Homestuck once and I got bored somewhere around the 60th comic mark and there still wasn't the semblance of a plot and the rules were still being explained like the comic is some kind of RPG from the late 90s/early 2000s.

THIS IS HOW YOU JUNCTION MAGIC TO A WEAPON.

But what Hussie is doing, when you scrape away the in-jokes and the sex muppets and the shipping and the deliberately-bad art and everything else (and some days that takes a LOT of scraping), is structurally different from anything that's happened in comics before. So reading it is work, especially at first. And what I hear from friends, recurrently, is that they think it is too much work.

Good stories shouldn't be told in a complicated manner. The story should stand on its own.

When you have to do gay tricks like this it tells me you don't have much to say.

Opened a romance novel I bought last night and in the first paragraph, the protagonist is swearing "in his mother's native Mexican."

I'm...I'm not even sure where to go with that. I think it'll be more fun if I choose to believe he speaks Nahuatl.

I still contend the greatest opening to a book would be the line from Geto Boy's "Straight Gangstaism":

cigarette in one hand

drink in the other

leanin' to one side

cooler than a motherfucker

Tell me you wouldn't read that.

Reading state curriculum standards: in kindergarten, my kids are supposed to develop the ability to "distinguish wants from needs."

Yeah the state curriculum for 9th grade English includes such gems as "students will be able to form a coherent argument and back it up with original logic with evidence."

Most adults can't even do that.

I don't expect to be futzing around on the work Pinterest account before bed and stumble on a picture of a severed human penis.

I mean, no. That is not work-safe. That is not within my remit. That is not the fuzzy bunnies and teapots and bizarre diet recipes and umpteen kerjillion pictures of the Romanovs native to the Pinterest I know and use for work-related purposes. Yuck yuck yuck. 

>On the internet

>bitching about seeing a severed penis

how new are you to the internet?

I see weirder shit at 8 AM than that on an average day.

In fact my reaction if, at the end of the day, I haven't seen outrageous gore pictures my reaction is "holy shit I wasn't on the internet at all today."

Internets, I will not entertain the possibility that fiction written in the first person is inferior to that written from any other point of view.

I will give you not one, but two reasons why. To wit:

The reason first person is shit is because a lot of the mystique of interesting main characters is ruined when you realize their internal monologue is often as boring as your own.

Your reasons are irrelevant. This is reality.

It is a truth generally acknowledged -- I mean, around here, not, like, at my place of business -- that I have done some kinky stuff in my time.

But little in my experience has proven as disturbing, painful, unsatisfying, or producing of distressing marks in the genital regions (when something says it is "safe for use on the bikini area," I don't expect it to leave any part of said "bikini area" covered in very large splotchy bruises) as the Sally Hansen All-Over Body Brazilian Wax Kit, Just Heat In Microwave.

I see no problem with smearing something you just put in the microwave on your crotch.

Girls are dumb.

It would take a more creative mind than mine to make this product fun, but for those of you who enjoy inflicting pain on others, let me just say, this is absolutely the most perverse thing I have ever bought at the Target on a Friday night.

Ow ow ow ow.

And to add insult to injury, it didn't particularly get rid of the undesirable hair, either.

I can't believe normal ladies do stuff like this on a regular basis. I mean, I am working hard at the Convincing Impression of Girlyness (I am totally getting good at putting on eyeliner, too, I hardly ever have to do the "it's a smoky eye, it's not that I totally can't draw on my face competently" thing any more), but jesus fuck. There are some girl skills I don't think I can acquire, and waxing is one of them.

Surprise!

What, you thought this was just a normal girl?
HOW WRONG YOU WERE, ASSHOLE.

NO ONE ON THE INTERNET IS USUAL.

Folks, you know that I feel strongly that in a nation as rich as the United States, it's ludicrous that not everyone can afford medical care. I also feel strongly that birth control is a good idea and should be made freely available, and I oppose recent conservative efforts to limit women's access to birth control. 

So is it double ridiculous when I could afford healthcare but now can't? 

I'm not sure how you fuck that up, speaking of.

In your quest to make healthcare more affordable I went from being able to afford it to not being able to afford it.

That's the opposite of your goal.

 Fuck.

Song of the now.