Plague Unending

How the hell am I still not fully well?
How long has this been going on?
Am I dying?
I wish it'd hurry the fuck up.

Today I went to National Gallery of Art with a friend, walked around DC, and went to the Kennedy Center's Millennium Stage to hear the US Air Force string quartet. Guys, I am so fucking cultured right now, I could make e coli jealous.

Well I have so many bacteria cultures living in me I'd make e coli jealous so.
You know.
e coli isn't invited.
It's about the only one not invited.

On Monday I am going to a jazz club, which feels apropo, somehow, after we found Etta James' star on a DC sidewalk.

Apropos.
Come on if you're going for the douchebag word at least spell it right.

I also, half an hour ago, began a new fic.

I love the feeling of a fic being born: I never get that electric feeling in my blood otherwise, except when I am in love. As I get more experienced as a writer, there is also that sad thought that statistically speaking, there is a 1% chance that I will ever be finished, however much in love I might be. What this says about my love life I dare not ponder. 

What the fuck?
Was that English?
Are those words I know?

This week has just been one of those weeks, honestly. I moved into a new place with new roommates because it was a) cheaper b) closer and c) I HATED my old roommate. Someday I will tell you all the long, sorry tale. Anyway, my new roommates are grad students from Thailand and Indonesia and whenever they don't have a paper due the next day (which is often, poor grad students) they bring home a bottle of wine to celebrate something or the other. And they invite me to have a glass or four and I ACCEPT, because SELF CONTROL, HOW DOES IT WORK 

M8

with the result that, together with being sick, sleeping it off has caused me to miss a lot of work and class. I mean, not a lot and I think quite a bit of it is due to me being sick rather than a total alcoholic but still. STILL. For the first time in my life I've shown up to a class slightly buzzed.

M8

Which is actually pretty nice, because it was totally relaxing and I could focus better on what was actually important in my notes BUT THAT IS SO NOT THE POINT OMG. The point is that is howwwww did I sink so low? /woe, sorrow, anguish etc.

ur a cheeky kunt m8 check urself b4 u reck urself m8

My laptop won't start.

I tried everything; took out the battery and AC adapter, switched the memory cards, tried them one at a time...Nothing. Nothing.

Whatashame.
I'm sure this is an easy fix but you know.
Girls using computers.

While I've been enjoying it enormously, something's been bothering me about Suits and it took til the latest episode to put my finger on why. 

About what?
Suits?
Is that a TV show?
This post is from 2011.
I've never even heard of that. Is it still on?
Oh man it is.
I am really out of touch with TV.

The characters are lawyers at a large, expensive, private firm. That's fine. But each episode manages to avoid the sort of moral dilemma that should be inevitable in these companies. Lawyers sometimes have to defend the indefensible and ruin the innocent. That's not some sort of judgement I'm laying down; it's just the way it is. Yet at the end of each episode, somehow, the big corporate lawyers were on the side of good.

Americlaps can't handle moral ambiguity.
It's too scary for us.
If God and Jesus didn't say it in the Bible we don't understand.

 I am seriously addicted to Glee. Seriously, this needs to stop. I've watched every episode at least three times and I don't even ship anyone! I just have a purely platonic adoration for this show.

Women.
I WATCHED A TV SHOW AND DIDN'T EVEN IMAGINE TWO PEOPLE HAVING GAY SEX!

While still deeply down in the dumps about Netherlands' loss to Russia in the Euro '08 semifinals (soccer--you wouldn't understand)

HIPSTER AS FUCK
I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

To all my weird little friends that I usually adore:

I don't like Twilight.

There's a shocker.
Guess it's too mainstream.
Anyway I can't handle shit anymore.
Going.

the plague thing

I still have the plague.
It has been like two fucking weeks.
So, sorry for not updating lately but I've also finally crossed that threshold where I'm well enough to teach school again but not well enough for it not to make me fucking miserable.
So that's kind of what's been up all week. Just me doing the school thing then coming home and praying for a release from this mortal coil.
Anyway let's do this.
If I have one last action I want it to be something pointless like this blog.

Typical cyberbullies. Talk all the shit in the world, then go suspiciously silent when one-upped.

Put it down as the latest in a long line of effortless wins for me.

>arguing on the internet
>winning
Nope.

If one more waste of blood from the Tea Party uses the term “Real America/ Americans” to describe small, conservative-leaning rural towns and the populace thereof, I am going to kick them through a jet engine. Forgive me for reviving a phrase that went out with whalebone corsets and the minuet, but how DARE you? 

Wow imagine if you had real problems.
Like no, seriously. What if you had a problem beyond the word choice of others?
Can you imagine how much more complex your life might be?
Like imagine if you're just me and you have to teach middle school while under the weather.
Do you have any idea how much worse my problem is?
If we were to compare problems it'd be like not having a problem to starving in Africa.
And I'm not trying to act like a badass here. My problem is barely a problem-- if I weren't sick I'd be riding high.
What passes for decent pay in 2013--
doing well at my job--
not too difficult--
but even still it's like a serious thing I have to reckon with. What's your problem in life?
Nothing.

DANIELLE: One thing that really aggravates me about fandoms--ANY fandom--is the pointless quest to milk every relationship between two characters--be it respectful, hostile, protective, or parasitic--for sexual tension.  

>Giving a shit about fandoms
Well there's your problem.
I don't get this desire to network with other people that share similar interests.
I hate other fans of Warhammer and Final Fantasy. I cannot think of people I'd rather be around less than the people that share my hobbies.
Warhammer fans in particular are annoying.
They miss the point of it entirely.
How can you be interested in something for decades and miss the message they've carefully constructed and told you literally hundreds of times in various forms?
Warhammer is a multimedia empire that spans across books, boardgames, video games, movies, audio dramas and comic books and it has maybe 15 messages total.
How can you not know all 15?
THE ULTIMATE FUTILITY OF STRUGGLE
THE DAMNATION OF MANKIND AND THE FORGOTTEN GOLDEN AGE
SOCIETY'S TENDENCY TO REGRESS TO NIHILISM
HOW CAN YOU MISS THIS SHIT?

NATALIE: Total truth. You see it in every single fandom in existence, though. Now, I will be the first to say there are a few shows out there that absolutely play with their slash audience, totally intentionally and are blatantly feeding them--but not every relationship that is deep translates to a sexual relationship, IMO. And I think a lot of members of fandoms are really screwing their own heads reading them that way. Is that what you think love looks like? Really?

That's why Warhammer will be safe from fanfiction writers and women in general at least until Games Workshop changes hands.
It is probably the least romantic fictional universe ever.
I remember thinking it was shocking and out of place in Helsreach when a character admitted he had feelings for another one.
Note they were never in a scene together and she died by the end of the book.

DANIELLE: Could not have said it better. Seriously. Yes, there are characters that lend themselves to ships and slashing. Kimber and Stormer from Jem!, my girl-girl OTP,

Meanwhile in Warhammer this is the kind of dialogue you're dealin' with:
"WE ARE CURIOUS," came a mighty anguished thought which itself transcended time. "WE HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR INTRUSION INTO OUR SANCTUARY, OUR ANTRUM AND ADYTUM.

"My lord." Jaq sank to his knees. "I beg to report to you before I am destroyed. I may have uncovered a major conspiracy-"

"THEN WE WILL STRIP YOUR SOUL BARE. RELAX, MORTAL MAN, OR YOU WILL SURELY DIE IN SUCH PAIN AS WE ALWAYS ENDURE."
 Emperor of Man is so hardcore he can only be properly represented through CAPSLOCK.
It's seriously one of the greatest scenes in science fiction.

NATALIE: Never, ever, EVER got Harry/Draco. Likewise with Harry/Snape. There was definitely more to their relationship, but it sure as hell wasn't sexual. Makes no sense to me. I love the derivative nature of fanfic and I think it's brilliant as a social experiment and a growing art form. 

Art form.
"PERHAPS IN A PART OF US, SINCE THE HYDRA PROMISES A PATH?"

"SURELY A MALEVOLENT PATH; FOR HOW COULD HUMANITY EVER FREE ITSELF?"

"THEN WE MUST BE MALEVOLENT TOO. FOR WE HAVE EXPELLED OUR SENTIMENTALITY LONG AGO. HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE ENDURED? HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE IMPOSED OUR RULE?"

"YET BY VIRTUE OF THAT WE ARE PURE AND UNCONTAMINATED BY WEAKNESS. WE ARE GRIM SALVATION."

"NOTHING THAT SAFEGUARDS HUMANITY CAN BE EVIL, NOT EVEN THE MOST STRENUOUS INHUMANITY. IF THE HUMAN RACE FAILS IT HAS FAILED FOREVER."

"WHEN WE CONFRONTED THE CORRUPTED, HOMICIDAL HORUS WHO ONCE USED TO SHINE LIKE THE BRIGHTEST STAR, WHO USED TO BE OUR BELOVED FAVOURITE - WHEN THE FATE OF THE GALAXY HUNG BY A THREAD - WERE WE NOT COMPELLED TO EXPEL ALL COMPASSION? ALL LOVE? ALL JOY? THOSE WENT AWAY. HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE ARMOURED OURSELVES? EXISTENCE IS TORMENT, A TORMENT THAT MUST NOURISH US. EVIDENTLY WE MUST STRIVE TO BE THE FIERCE REDEEMER OF MAN, YET WHAT WILL REDEEM US?"

"Great Lord of All, did you know of the Hydra before now?" Jaq asks.

"YET SURELY WE KNEW. HOW COULD WE NOT KNOW?"

"ONCE WE HAVE ANALYSED THE INFORMATION WITHIN THIS SUB-MIND OF OURS."

"HEAR THIS, JAQ DRACO: ONLY TINY PORTIONS OF US CAN HEED YOU, OTHERWISE WE NEGLECT OUR IMPERIUM, OF WHICH OUR SCRUTINY MUST NOT FALTER FOR AN INSTANT. FOR TIME DOES NOT HALT EVERYWHERE WITHIN THE REALM OF MAN. INDEED TIME ONLY HALTS FOR YOU."
When fanfiction produces dialogue of this caliber we'll talk.

Brain, I love you. No, really. We've had our battles: you're really good at sabotaging my sleep and really bad at navigating writer's block. And I know that you and my heart can only communicate through a neutral mediator. But--since the subject of movie scores came up yesterday--if I could dedicate a song to you right now, it would be the Superman theme. Just because you're such a superior model to the majority of others I encounter day after day after night after day, I'm half-convinced you're some kind of mutation. If so, I worship the gamma rays or toxic waste that came in contact with you.

Wow.
There it is.
The ubermensch.
This bint.
This is what the Nazis were working for.

TODAY'S EPIPHANY: My specific style of humour is pretty much useless. Otherwise, I wouldn't be the only one laughing.

And yeah, this has damaged my ego a little bit. There, I said it.

AKA "I'm not funny" .
Also this woman is American.
Just spellin' shit the British way because.
Because fuck you I'm going to be affected.

To Whomever it May Concern:

So no one--

Maybe the USA will become a theocracy.

2007 called.
It was looking for its buzzwords and irrational fears.
This woman is 34, incidentally.
Anyway my willpower is fading fast.
Hopefully Friday I'll be normal.

Special Plague Update

Meant to update Monday but you know.
Flu and all.
I got a flu shot then still got the flu.
So much for immunization, eh motherfuckers?
I even read the vaccine was spot on this year.
WELL HERE'S ME AS LIVING PROOF YOU WERE A BIT OFF.
Maybe it mutated in me specifically.
I feel bad, too, because I started this 2 month job at a middle school a week and a half ago and already I've had to take a week off because I was dry heaving for 5 minutes yesterday.
Whatashame.
Anyway this blog is dark gray font on a black background.
Also it's like size .5 font.
Having it easy to read for my readers?
Psh no fuck you.
I'm sure half of you are in the habit of not clicking on the blogs (I can't blame you) but before we carry on you must at least look at what I'm suffering through (with the flu, mind) to entertain you today.
First, though, the entry from ONTD_P I found this bullshit from:

Coach suspended for 10 days after anti-gay rant

Coaches are always a little odd.

Fuck this guy and fuck the coach and fuck the school and fuck football and fuck Alabama. Seriously. That isn't misspeaking. That's being a racist, bigoted douchenugget.

All right his comments were (I assume, I can't read the original entry) bigoted but I don't know that they were inherently racist.
He did say some shit about Michelle Obama but maybe he just didn't like her as a person, or something--
you can dislike a black person for reasons other than their race, you know--
Anyway on to this crappy blog:

In which I'm exaggerating. I'm not hating on Christmas as hardcore right now, even if I still have way too many presents to finish. 8| One fish hat is almost done, though, so there's a good point.

Also, I got to go see The Hobbit at the midnight premier here. It was kind of awesome, because Mike decided to spring for 3D tickets, which ended up being an excellent choice. There was one other guy in the whole 3D showing (everyone else was cheap and went to the regular one lol)

Movie sucked. Live with it.

One of my main characters, Ainsley, got poisoned by a silver arrow (he's a werewolf), and for some reason in my own twisted mind, the poison of silver works unreasonably fast. Now he's dying and I don't know how to save him because the token healer of the group is also a werewolf.

And to top it off, Rinda, my half-elf, has just started to come to terms she might be ~in love~ with Ainsley.

I need a way to save his fuzzy butt pronto. And I am fresh out of brain power.

Wow that sounds awful.
Seriously stop writing.
I can't even begin to tell you how stupid "silver poisoning" sounds.
Silver is magic or some shit. If it hits the undead or a werewolf they burn. It's not poison.
If you want it to be poison that's stupid and you should feel bad.

Just a little miff I have with some people that follow this-is-not-native on Tumblr. Let me say first and foremost, I do identify heavily with both sides of my heritage. But because of my physical features, I mostly resemble the Cherokee side, 

I skipped the post where she said this because it was stupid but earlier she asserted she was related to Mary, Queen of Scots.
I checked and it's technically possible as Mary did have children (I've talked to people who claimed to be descended from Anne Boleyn, whose only child to survive infancy, Elizabeth I, was called the virgin queen for a reason) and yet being related to Mary on one side and the other half is Cherokee strikes me very much as trying to fit in with the regal, posh, Anglophile side of Livejournal that loves Dr. Who and that shitty Sherlock Holmes serial on the BBC on one side and trying to be an empowered POC womyn on the other.
In conclusion I'm almost certain you're full of shit.
That is something I learned in one of my pussy sensitivity classes and that's literally 90% of people that claim Native American heritage are either lying or are mistaken.

and I tend to speak out quite a bit about cultural appropriation from the Native Americans, because we have been so downtrodden in this country's history. (Don't get me wrong, I don't in any way hate this country. I just think NA rights are sometimes overlooked, and our lifestyles are sometimes glamourized when they're not.)

Not since the 1950s, no.
Once westerns moved to Spain and started being filmed by Italians not even westerns featured Indians.
No one gives a shit.

Anyway, some do-gooder submitted this to TINN, and...Really? Have you never seen a pup tent before? Because that is what that symbol is. Not a teepee. It's a pup tent. You go camping in them, hence why it's the universal US symbol for campgrounds. I don't think we NA people invented camping, just saying.

Link removed because it no longer exists--
common problem when blogs linking blogs, as I think you'll find occurs in my archives--
I've been asked why I always say I removed the link.
The reason is because despite being a patriarchal, imperialist white male pig I am in fact vehemently opposed to censorship, unlike every liberal blogger ever so I always feel fit to warn you in case you really care and want to check it out.
But in this case I wouldn't because it just 404s.
Also "we NA people" is kinda bullshit. Unless you live on a reservation then you should probably shut up.
You're probably like 1/32 Indian at best, assuming you even are, which I doubt.
Your claims to being Indian are probably more specious than my claims to being Roman is what I'm trying to say.
Also while Native Americans might not have invented camping Native Americans (broadly speaking) as a group seemed to stick with camping as a basis for civilization for about 2000 years longer than most everyone else did so I guess most people just considered you guys the experts on the topic.

Here's hoping Mike's superduper strong Army man coffee has done what it's supposed to. :3 Especially since he's gone off into the woods deer hunting (He hunts for meat, not sport, yay. Also, mmm, deer sausage. Om nom nom. Just sayin'.).

That's good he hunts for meat and not for sport because there isn't much sporting about shooting a deer.
Have you seen those things?
The only sporting creatures to hunt are bears (assuming you use a bow or a knife), crocodiles (blight on the earth) hippos (you can use guns for these also) other than that you're a pussy.
 And I've hit the start of this blog.
That's handy because I'm not sure my delicate constitution could take much more of this abuse.