BOREDOM

I found this person through, what was it, Dark Stitch, the Gothic sewing circle. At first I was really excited, though. Shit, people stitching the way WOMEN DID IN THE THIRTEENTH CENTURY. Back when people knew how to make a fucking building.
But no, it's like Hot Topic shit. Oh well.

So, the day that I officially moved into my new house, i planted a variety of... well, plants.

WOOOOW.

The reason that I hate to garden is that you have to do it.... outside- with the bugs and dirt and filth. I'm just not really the kind of person who goes outside- if you can't tell from the lovely tan that I'm rocking- I don't like most of the things that are not inside a hermetically sealed lab.

Two of the most meandering sentences I've ever read, Jesus Christ.

When you're gardening indoors, it's freaky how similar to Harvest Moon the process actually is.

Oh yeah, there's a lot of pressing B to be done when gardening inside. Also romancing the florist girl.

The flower is the HM equivalent of a turnip-

Grows fast, sells for nothing and you wonder why you bothered?

they sprout in a very short time, presumably just to show you that the process works.

Ah.

It's strange how I used to think of evolution, really. I knew that plants were constantly living, breathing (thanks for the O2, btw) and evolving along with the rest of us, but, I suppose as an ethnocentric animal, when I think of evolution, i tend to think of myself and my fellow critters evolving, struggling, living against a blank green background.

Evolution doesn't really work like Pokemon. You can't actually observe things evolving. It's kind of a slow process over millions and millions of years and things don't really get "better" they just adapt to their environment. If the environment doesn't change then neither does the animal.

Oh man, I am so upset. So, let's not shy away from it- I'm an American, a US American for those of you aggravating people who don't understand our ethnocentrism and think that the rest of the continent(s) count(s).

No, really?

We're a Capitalist society, which, for the most part has worked out pretty well (if you ignore all of history, as we do) but lately, I'm feeling a crunch.

Speak for yourself, cunt. No one observes history as keenly as I do.

Now that I've bitched about everything going on in my life, not being able to pay my bills, my house falling apart, my car falling apart, ect. Lets take a moment to explain why that makes me a bitch. I am broke as hell and bitching because the government doesn't give a damn.

So get a job?

You know who barely has a government? Haitians.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
Also: yeah, look where that got the Haitians.

I know that we were fucked pretty hard core when the hurricane hit here, I mean, the road signs were gone, the water line was up, and a lot of people dies from exposure or starvation. I wasn't one of them. I have running water; full of coal slurry, but running none-the-less to be boiled and used.

So--
wait I'm a little lost. Are you angry at the government or not?

These folk are royally fucked- I mean, there were a lot of ares without basic necessities anyway; from what the TV tells me, and now they got nothing. That kind of pisses me off, because, and my geography is poor, I thought that Hatti was off the coast of NY/Florida side of the states.

They're "off the coast of Florida" in the same sense Australia is "off the coast of Japan". Neighbors, technically, but distant ones.

Like, right off the coast, Caribbean close. To the point where a lot of folk can live in the States and still have realitives that have lost everything.

But there are a lot of people in the US. Remember a few years ago when Russia invaded Georgia (you don't but pretend for a minute). I'm sure there were "US Americans" as you put it who had family affected by that, and yet I don't hear you bitching about-- whatever your butthurt is (I can't really tell to be honest).

That... kind of makes us assholes, guys.

Billions and billions of dollars in aid pledged to Haiti straight from the US and we're assholes?
How, exactly?

So remember, no matter how bad your life is, if Mother Nature hasn't taken revenge on you yet; you're doing better then a lot of folk.

I hope Zeus sticks a pronged lightning bolt straight up your ass for how fucking stupid you are about semicolons.

Alright, now that I'm out of soap and my box has collapsed, let's talk Zombies.

I still don't understand why you're butthurt. You're angry at the government for not helping you but then you're not because the US provides you with things like running water and paved roads and then you are because the US "didn't do anything" to help Haiti even though they did and-- oh this is doing my head in.

I mentioned in my last blog that I had RE5 sitting on my shelf and hadn't opened it yet. Well, now it's opened and I must say, possibly the best RE yet.

>5
>best Resident Evil
girlsplayingvideogames.jpg

I've got to say that prior to RE4 I wasn't a huge fan. I liked the storyline, but I'm just not a survival horror kind of gamer- I HATE fixed camera angles and pre-rendered backgrounds you LAZY ASS PROGRAMMERS.

It was the PS1. You don't remember video games from then because you just got into this when the Wii came out I'm sure but trust me computing wasn't at a stage where it could support advanced graphics. That's okay because we didn't know any better. Mario 64 was in REAL 3D and that was it, graphics were never getting any better than that.

It is not mood-setting, it is not frightening, it is not suspenseful, it is ANNOYING! When I am trying to shoot something in the head, I step backwards, and the screen changes, that is just BAD PROGRAMMING that certainly could have been eliminated in the PS2 era, but it took you until RE4 to get it?

Maybe you've never seen a movie before. Let me explain how cinematics work: camera angles enhance mood. In a video game where you have full command over the camera to see all the shit that's about to leap out at you it becomes less scary, doesn't it? It becomes less about "survival" (important word in the genre Resident Evil is part of, SURVIVAL horror) and more about "search and destroy". Just because you're too stupid to accommodate changing controls (read: it's not that hard) doesn't make them bad games.
No, what makes any RE after 2 but before 4 (this is somehow more than just 3) bad is because they aren't very interesting.

I'm sexist, so I like that there's a girl.

Yeah man, that's what Resident Evil was missing.
Claire Redfield? Who's that, again? Jill Valentine?
LISTEN, THERE'S A GIRL NOW.

OK, so finals are over! Woot! As a reward, I have come into a rather large collection of Wii games, and I've started to break them in.

GAYMAN WITH THE WII
Let's see, what are some good Wii games? Monster Hunter Tri immediately comes to mind.

First up, some downloaded stuff that I have been wanting to play since I was like 12. I finally went through and beat Paper Mario, what I assumed, and have never been corrected, was a sequel to Mario RPG.

I think I had something to say here but I don't remember what it was.

It was pretty strait-up Mario RPG, which was cool- I actually liked that game, the way that the battles were kinda turn based, except you could defend or avoid attacks without wasting turns, with button combos

"Kinda" turn based in that they were turn based 100%.

I always hated that I could be a level 99 fighter or something, and then get hurt by a cactar. Once you get high enough, no goomba can touch you. Fun, not really that challenging RPG.

Err, explain that? I mean I could be the best boxer in the entire world and if 20 weaklings gang up on me I'm getting pummeled.

Which is quite the opposite of the New Super Mario Brothers for Wii.

No, okay. Something I should be used to by now. Stupid thoughts given absolutely no qualification.

We Sonic kids don't do to good on survival horrors; see, we lived through an era that taught us to live without fear in video games, so the things that are supposed to scare me, like cinematic fixed camera angles, kinda just piss me off.

I can't believe I'm getting a lecture about video games from you.

Call of Duty, Modern Warfare, I have but a single question for you.

I mean Jesus Christ, you bought Modern Warfare for the Wii, what can you possibly know about anything?

Why is it so hard to split the screen in half? What is up with all these new games having on-line only co-op?

It's 2010 and most people have the internet? Infinity Ward only wants your money and doesn't actually care about you? I don't know. Research things before buying them.

But I actually considered myself realitivly good at anything Eidos had ever produced. I've been obsessed with Tomb Raider since it came out; remember? There was an entire generation of us... Lara was the first real game heroine that wasn't wearing full body armor.

Remember back when people had no sense? Wait, no, they still don't.

Couldn't the controls have been better here?

You're asking if the controls on a Tomb Raider game can be better. Pop quiz: when have the controls on a Tomb Raider game ever been good?
Jesus Christ all mighty. Not a single mention of Monster Hunter but then again her primary complaint is NO LOCK ON so I'm guessing she'd be bitching about how Monster Hunter isn't holding her hand through a 40 hour tutorial.
IT'S YOU AND A GIANT DINOSAUR. GET YOUR KNIFE AND START ROLLING OUT OF THE WAY, THIS ISN'T COMPLICATED.
Also for someone supposedly "so poor and down on her luck" you certainly have more Wii games than I do. Just putting it out there.

A tale of minor inconvenience

I don't even know what the fuck. I found this jack off through the WoWfurries (wow imagine, furries play World of Warcraft) group, so enjoy. Get ready for a lot of excitement, this is gonna be great--

For fur cons, most of my days are planned using the event schedule. I make a note of the panels and events I want to attend, and disregard the others.

You thought fur conventions were for a bunch of goddamn dorks to dress like animals and make asses of themselves? Let me tell you, there are tactical readouts and everything. It's like preparing for goddamn D-Day. Churchill didn't have shit on this logistical prowess.

The time I don't spend at a panel is time I use for fursuiting, socializing, taking photos, etc.

The time I don't spend being a dork I spend being a dork, just to specify.
Honest to fuck, this is why everyone hates you, furries. It's not a lifestyle, it's a fetish. You don't see BDSM people with conventions, do you?
Well actually yes you do.
But my point still stands.
Now he's talking about Anthrocon and I can follow him on Twatter if I want to stay UP TO DATE on this important yearly festival. (It's like Christmas to Christians, Yule to the Norse, etc etc).

I remembered that the Fursuit Charades started at 10AM,

Fursuit Charades? Why, it's like regular charades except really cool!

In other news, I've started playing Champions Online. I'm at level 27 now (max level is 40), and I'm enjoying the game. It's not World of Warcraft... not even close.

Of course, because nothing can match the gaming perfection that is World of Warcraft. Everquest? Ultima Online? MUDs? What the flying fuck are those? WoW invented MMOs, case closed.

My video card died. I had to replace it because I have no on-board video on the motherboard, and my backup machine uses an AGP card (the slot for which is also absent from my board). I thought a 9400GT would be enough for me until later, when I planned to upgrade my desktop. It wasn't. I had to turn most of the settings down in World of Warcraft... that's how bad it was. So, I exchanged the 9400GT for a GTX 260. Yes, it's much better... and larger.

I'm pretty sure the 9400GT can run WoW on max comfortably. Are you sure you're just not good at computer?
Also, yes: you really need the graphical processing of a GTX260 to run a game that looks like it was made in 1999.
Can't the GTX260 run Crysis on max? I'm not saying you're a goddamn idiot for wasting your money on a card you clearly don't need and won't use a quarter of, but you're a goddamn idiot.

The GTX 260 is so large that it wouldn't fit in the case I had. The hard disk bays on the bottom of the case were welded to the frame, and there was no way I could get them out without using a few different tools (and possibly ruining the case altogether). So, I had to buy a new case that could actually house the video card. :|

Ah yes, the elegant solution I came up with: mount your motherboard upside down and suddenly everything has headway. Then I found out I could unscrew the hard drive cages. Of course I did research before I bought shit to make sure it could all fit but not everyone is gifted with my incredible foresight so I guess you can be forgiven.
Now here's a picture of a guy in a furry suit wearing boxer shorts and a cape and he's standing in a hotel lobby.
Any single part of this is completely insane but for some reason the whole thing together is really crazy. Do these people ever take a step back and say "wow, I'm really fucking crazy"?
Oh here's a picture of his World of Warcraft character. Huge surprise: he's a Tauren.
Bet he can't wait for the new expansion to come out where humans turn into wolves.
Oh my Christ all he posts about are these fucking furry conventions. Who knew there were so many in a year?

Some people are so focused on their fantasies, and so immersed in their rose-colored, make-believe, cartoon worlds, they forget how things work in real life.

I have a lot of trouble taking this from someone who pretends to be an anthropomorphic lion for many weeks out of the year.

In the real world, you don't mouth off to others (especially those you don't know) and treat them like dirt. That's one of the fastest ways to get yourself laid out on the concrete, in pain and bleeding.

In the real world most people don't resort to violence immediately upon a disagreement. Maybe one day you'll join the real world and learn this.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
- Thomas Paine

LEAD FOLLOW OR GET OUT OF THE WAY, SHIT BRO.
RANGERS LEAD THE WAY HURRRRR
Shut the fuck up you furry idiot.

Coworker: Hey, your license plate, does it have anything to do with the Detroit Lions, like your jacket?
Me: Yes and no.
Coworker: Yes and no? OH! Are you a Leo?
Me: No. I was born in July... Cancer.
Coworker: Really?
Me: The plates, though... that's more of a lion thing. You know, the big cat. Not so much the Detroit Lions.
Coworker: Oh, okay. Thanks!

Oh God, I have a lion plate on my car. I also have a lion on my jacket.
Surely people don't think I'm one of these people, though. At least, I hope not. I just have it because lions are cool and heraldry is awesome. I just want people to know I'm ready to take the holy land at a moment's notice.

The grand prize was a Compaq PC, but I didn't think about it because I'm not one for sweepstakes or lottery games. When I got back to work, I opened the box... lo and behold, there was a game piece that said I'd won the grand prize. It was legit; I mailed it in, and they sent the PC to my home address.

Oh this is like a Zen riddle. You've won a Compaq PC. Are you really a winner, though?
I guess in life everything is a gamble and if you get cancer you're not the proud recipient of cancer, are you? No.
Also if that wasn't clear enough: I'm comparing Compaq to cancer.

I don't have any deep, dark secrets. No skeletons, no secret lovers, no off-the-wall fetishes... nothing like that.

>No off-the-wall-fetishes
>furry
Ho-boy.

I'll tell you what I do know, though. I'm 32 years old. The clock's tickin', and it ain't goin' backwards.

Yes, glory be to the sunrise that brings our doom.
Aren't you a little old to be into this whole furry thing? I mean I'm certainly not one to judge playing Pokemon into my 20s but at least I don't dress up as Gengar and have gay sex with a guy dressed as Pikachu.

I bought the strategy guide for SoulCalibur IV because I wanted the promo soundtrack disc.

>Strategy guide
>fighting game
>Soul Caliber IV
>bought it for the soundtrack (which you can get online for nothing)
There are like ten things wrong with this I don't even know where to start.
I'd like to take this chance to inform anyone reading this I actually cut a lot out of his blog. Quite a few entries were about people paying him compliments and what a fucking ace he is and shit. I cut these out partially because they were all the same (I even found an instance of two word-for-word sentences two years apart) but mostly because I couldn't get all the way through them without starting to gag a little.
Well I guess this brings to close another awesome entry from me. I'd like to take this time to remind everyone (not that I'm keeping track) that Pokemon Black and White has a mere 39 days, 17 hours and 54 minutes at the time of this writing until release and FFXIV has a mere 43 days, 6 hours and 54 minutes.
Nothing for months at a time then suddenly everything comes out the same goddamn week. Isn't that the way?

THE DEMON WAS DESTROYED.

So here we go, yet another exercise in butthurt and illness. "Illness" since I always suspect most bloggers are lying about their conditions. Anyway here's Sarah. Hi Sarah :3
Her first post is a story which quite frankly I'm not reading.
Then she posts about "guerrilla knitting" which is evidently knitting crap and then leaving it for other people to throw away. Err, I mean find and enjoy. She left some for "extra karma" which is extra silly because as we all know we are judged in life by the evil we destroy.

Yesterday I went for (another) checkup with my neurosurgeon. First off I got a call the day before and the time they gave me was later than the one I had listed. So I showed up at the earlier time. Sense I had to fill out a whole bunch of paperwork AGAIN I guess it's fine I showed up early.

Get used to this, incidentally. "Since" is always "sense" and there are quite a few other homophones (heh, homo) I'm forgetting.

You'd think by now they'd know WHY I was there and my medical history.

You'd think by the time you're an adult you'd know the difference between "since" and "sense" (hint: there's a pretty huge difference). Evidently there's a lot of shit people should know but don't for whatever reason.

She was much more forthcoming on extra info than Dr. Cohen was. She actually said the words "Degenerative Disc Decease",

Disease. This is what we call a "malapropism" because "decease" and "disease" sound similar but aren't actually pronounced the same and again have wildly different meanings. Although one often leads to the other, hmm.

Interesting info sense I have NO idea your bones could swell.

Since*

Of course slightly better means, still worse than it was when we were thinking about doing disk replacement. I could list all the issues.... but it's just depressing and not worth the noting.

As opposed to the rest of this which is worth noting.

I even left out a guerrilla knit... but I figured I should post about this.

As some of you know I had surgery again Monday. Basically I'd managed to blow out the next two discs in my back.

YOUR DISCS HAVE FAILED. REPLACE THEM WITH METAL THAT WILL NOT FAIL.

For those of you who might not know, post mortem photography was a relatively common practice as photography slowly got more common and portable.

Even if I didn't know what this was (and I do) I'd be able to figure it out by the, I don't know, words in the title? post- (after) -mortem (death) photography (pictures)?

People who lost a loved one (very often children) would find or send for the nearest photographer to take pictures. This might seem a tad morbid now

Everyone is pretty fucking pussified now.
Let me look at this fucking picture, motherfucker.
... Yeah those are some dead kids, all right. You can tell by the fish eyes.

A couple months ago or so I left a little hippo outside one of my favorite antique stores. He was the exact same color as the store.

Let me guess, someone from the store found the hippo and decided to turn around and sell it? You're not allowed to be butthurt about this. You left something for anyone to find and do anything they want with it.

Then about a week ago Kenton and I went into that same store. We wondered around for about 2 hours,

Wandered*. Goddamn you suck.

I don't always head down that way sense most of the toys aren't so much antiques as a few years old.

You're just doing it to piss me off now.

nestled inside was something very familiar. My hippo. Still with his tag, although now on the back was written a number code and price.

Oh ho ho ho can I call it or what?

Then the more I started thinking about it the more I started to get annoyed. The point of this was not for someone else to sell my animals. At least not so soon after leaving them. I had many different reactions from the friends I told and I came up with many different plans. I thought about stealing him, sense I knew the seller didn't pay for it in anyway.

This just in: it's okay to steal as long as who you are stealing from did not pay money to get the item in question.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.

:|
"You see, fear had an effect on him."
Most interesting thing to come out of your blog, I think.

Warning... this is an awful post.... don't read it if you are sensitive.

Well I am delicate like a snowflake but I think I'll brave it anyway.
Oh it's a really long story about a road kill moose. Anyway.
Oh there's you. Maybe if you lost some weight you wouldn't have so many back problems, good grief.

As most of you know by now I collect skulls.

Collecting the skulls of your foes is a pretty awesome hobby I must admit.

Today Kenton and I went to the firing range so he could use dad's rifles before the hunting trip.

Need a rifle to down a defenseless deer. What cowardice is this?
Anyway this is so boring I forgot to pay attention for about an hour so I guess it's go time, motherfucker.