Like strength is felt from hope and from despair.

Today's annoying cunt is really cunty and I feel like playing grindan gaems so I predict a short entry.
Click here and let's get this over with.

So I went to a Judith Butler lecture and was shocked.

I know everything and everyone cool and her name isn't on the list, so GUESS WHAT?

I really liked what she had to say. Truth be told, I believe that as long as humans live on this earth, there will never be an end to violence or war.

DARK FUTURE OF WAR
OR WOR AS I LIKE TO SPELL IT.

I guess we all need to start taking responsibility.

Not me. I have not started or participated in war 1. I am completely absolved from all guilt when it comes to wars.

Maybe the human race isn't so hopeless.

Baseless assumption.

But then again, our human race, all of our civilizations were built solely on hope.

Actually our advanced, first world civilization that includes computers on which to type this drivel was founded on knowledge, not hope.
Hope accomplishes very little. Actually doing shit, while it certainly does not absolve you of responsibility and is far harder than sitting around hoping, actually accomplishes shit.

I feel as though I am responsible for my familial rift.

Maybe if you had been a better daughter mommy and daddy would still love each other.

I am responsible. I am the cause of my parent's martial strife.

MARTIAL strife?
Surely you meant marital strife?
Still that's kind of a funny typo.

Ever since my Dad--my step father--started raising me. He was always hardest on me.

>hardest on me
tee hee.
Now there's a lot of words I'm not reading.

I must say I was shocked at the civility of our nation as Barack Obama was inaugurated today.

I was shocked at the price tag. Nice to see in this questionable economy you put this fine nation into further debt with a huge party.
Way to reward yourself before accomplishing anything, chief.

I think we have someone in office that will do something for us.

Oh, he'll do something, whether it's good or useful is still to be seen, though.

An amazing orator, hopefully his pretty words will not be empty.

>Obama
>amazing orator

Perhaps for once we will have a president we can trust.

HOW SO? What makes you think any of this?
Listen, kid, just because someone says they'll do something doesn't mean they will or even can.

Maybe he has already changed our jaded minds.

Whoever he has convinced wasn't really jaded.
I, for the record, remain deeply unconvinced.

I'm willing to hope. Its shining bright admist this stormy sky.

YES, THE RHETORIC OF A PESSIMISTIC, JADED MIND RIGHT HERE.

Maybe he won't let our nation fall prey once more to the bureaucratic sharks, nipping away at us bit by bit.

Yeah and maybe I'll win the lottery and spend the rest of my life swimming in ice cream, huh?

Young Goodman Brown once walked into a forest where the devil greeted him.

Oh what's up English 201?

And once the dream was over with he lost his faith in people and became a bitter Old man, scornful of all things that sought happiness.

Didn't know this was "read my bullshit essay" blog. Where's the part about the symbolism in his wife, Faith's, name?
Yeah that's right, uhh, i_am_super_sora, I read that story too. Three times.

Broken. I feel broken.

Really? I feel good.
Yeah it's pretty great to be me, actually.

I am so in love with one man. One man who I swear I would live and die for. Just his happiness.

Shit. You need a hobby or something. Maybe go through your old entries and fix your copious, copious typos? I mean, sure, no one is perfect (EVEN MY BLOG CONTAINS TYPOS, AND YES I AM AWARE OF THEM) but goddamn there's a line, and you crossed it.

I want to touch him, ohld his hand, help him with his pain.

See this is exactly what I'm talking about. "Ohld" his hand indeed.

SHe cut me where I didn't know I could be cut.

Your-- no, I can't imagine a place like that.
I guess a crevice of some sort, like your asshole or the inside of your mouth.
Also a lot of people don't like to think about their genitals or eyes getting cut.
By "a lot" I mean "sane people" of course.
Personally I don't like to think about getting cut at all, but if I absolutely had to be there are some areas that would be more preferable than others.

Never forget.

Finally some good advice from your stupid mouth.
Never forgive, never forget.

There are no guarantees in life
Not for the present,
Nor for the future.

LIVE NOT FOR THE PAST OR THE FUTURE, BUT FOR THE ETERNAL NOW.
This does drag on.

Music.

It is an art. As art it has one main function.
To reflect what other humans view the human soul as.

Wow that's really-- stupid. You should probably feel bad.

Perhaps in music we find God. or a version of it. God being a compilation of human souls and interests and within this one thing we feel connected to the rest of the human race. Our lives stop. We feel the wisdom and the power of each stroke of the bow, strike of the keys, or strum of the chord.

Ha, ha what kind of pussy chick music have you been listening to, sister?
I'm listening to Money for Nothing and all I hear is the most badass guitar ever.

Music is one thing that makes no sense at all, but at the same time makes the most sense to us.

Us?

So, I keep drawing the ace of cups.

Yup. If you don't know what that card means, then look it up.

You're getting in touch with your feelings. It's the initial flow of emotions, which somehow I doubt ever stops with you.
I'm getting in touch with my feelings, too. Oh wait, no, I'm cupping my balls.

Hope is a bitch cunt face....

Yeah get angry. Break things.

Good morrow, dear friends and strangers.

See you later, pantaloon wearing faggot.
Well it's grindan gaems time. I CAN HEAR CLEAR MIND CALLING ME, AND IT IS LESS THAN ONE LEVEL AWAY~

Take care, lest your protests grow tiresome.

I don't know, guys, I think these bloggers might be a bunch if whiny bitches.

Born with out the ambition drive, it's been so awkward to be alive.

Ambition is bullshit. Always telling you to strive and do your best? Fuck that. Sleep in, play video games, eat Cheetos. Your life is enhanced without that nagging desire to achieve.

Alienate the alien for he does not belong here, he skin is that of the norm but he can't adapt like the others.

I'm not really sure what to say here because I've read this sentence five times now and I still don't even have a vague outline of what this means.

I started to lose weight then stopped at 217-220.

Whoa, don't push yourself, chief, okay. You're not Superman, after all.

I always miss the more interesting nights with my friends because of some lame decision I end up making. Damn, I need to get the weekends off. Well, better luck next time.

To quote Patton Oswalt: "you will miss everything cool and die angry."

So I've been joggin/working out and eating smaller portions recently. After my relations with Heather. I had realized that I severely needed to lose weight. Especially if I am to be looking to attract a girl.

Yeah you'll be a real ladies' man. What with that award winning attitude and everything.

Now, being single is good. I've had time to be myself and such.

I don't know how anyone else read that, but I read that as "masturbation".

It was hard at first but that just comes with the package.

"Comes with the package" EH? EH?

So I've been trying to chat/ meet with girls. Don't think I want an ultra serious relationship right now. I just want to date more so then anything right now.

"I want to fuck them with no strings attached."

Not an internet gal, just meet her through, I'll say, an accomplice.

Acquaintance* unless, indeed, you're robbing banks with her.

I've noticed that I'm starting to sort of "crush"/interested in her.

She probably already has a boyfriend, so why bother?

Though, I know myself all to well.

Yes, you are far too cowardly to act on these emotions.

Whenever I have a crush or an attraction to a girl, I'll never act because I'm afraid of them not wanting to associate with me at all if I try to show that I'm interested or something.

No, brosef, you were supposed to persevere in a climate of intense pessimism. You failed that test.

Also in other news, not too long after heather and I broke up, I did mj for the first time. Yeah, I know, I lost face with you (whoever reads this).

Oh, don't worry. You started with no face at all as far as I'm concerned and you've been steadily working yourself into negative numbers ever since.

Off to play smash brothers. Good day

WATCH OUT COOL KID LEAVING THE ROOM EVERYONE STAND UP TO SHOW YOUR RESPECT.

I think something is most wrong with me.

There's something wrong with all of us. JOIN THE CLUB, BRO.

I seem to not have any real interest, recently, in the female gender

SO YOU LIKE SUCKING DICK. SO WHAT?

(and no I'm not what your thinking...I have a most disinterest in that).

Sure thing, chief.
Hey, you don't have to convince me. It's your own problem.

My days of mortality feel the weight of themselves more and more. How I fear my mortality.

BAH. So you sit around all day worrying about your own death? You might as well be dead now.
WHY DELAY?

watch 300!!!!!

I did. It was cool. I liked the Immortals.

I'll tell you it is really that good. Easily one of the the most beautiful films I have ever seen, just visually.

Oh you liked all the nearly nude men running about stabbing each other with big, phallic spears?
Now there's a ton, and I mean a ton of ellipsis. Post after post of fifteen million periods. Not reading any of this.
My advice to you, friend, would be to stop being such a dork.
Christ all mighty grow a spine. I know it's hard and blah blah blah scared of dying bullshit but-- actually fuck it. Who cares what you do?

All Untruth is Sedition

ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR A TOTALLY AWESOME BLOG FROM RAYLEIGHHH?
That's some name you have there, by the way. I think I read about you in H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos.

Dustin told me he loved me last night.

Wow big day for you, huh? Well I hit level 29 on my red mage today in Final Fantasy XI so I totally one upped your shitty story.
Success is measured by who tells the best story and you just got OBLITERATED.

we were on myspace talking and on the phone at the same time.

Wow the conversation was so deep you required two communication lines open to properly express your thoughts?
Those faggy poets like Shakespeare and Donne could take some notes on you young lovers.
Oh wait, no they can't. They're DEAD.

he mentioned he might be starting to more then care for me, then he left me a comment saying he thinks he might be in love with me.

But yeah back to something more interesting, I'm thinking of switching to scholar once I get the big 30 because that way I'd have a subjob until 60, and besides scholar kicks ass. I know it doesn't sound like it but trust me on this, okay.

he also said that he does not see us having sex at any point in the near future, or at all so far.

Taking a play out of the book of the aforementioned John Donne, I think:

First we loved well and faithfully,
Yet knew not what we loved, nor why ;
Difference of sex we never knew,
No more than guardian angels do ;

That's from The Relic in case you were burning to read it in its entirety. I mention this because I thought it was The Valediction and so had to read TWO poems to find what I was thinking of.
Rough day for me to be sure.

that made me really happy. i shows he really does care for me in a completely seperate way than everyone else i have ever been with.

Let's see, when did she post this-- December 16th. I would bet folding money he has already hit it and quit it.

he said i'm his queen.
he makes me so happy.
wow.

BUT YOU'RE MY QUEEN, RAYLEIGHHH.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
OH JESUS OH GOD
That's how I imagine that conversation going.
... That was a reference to Cthulhu again. That one felt weak so I thought I'd explain it.

i kissed jacob lee in algebra today.

Jacob? I thought his name was Dustin.

so pretty much, i've been grounded since monday night, due to me being on the phone with dustin at like 10:30 at night when i'm supposed to be off at nine, but whatever.

Dang!
Shit's harsh. No one, no one, can understand the love you share with Dustin. You should definitely be butthurt over this.

- dustin and i are together. i don't remember if i said this or not.

But, but-- you kissed Jacob Lee 24 hours later!
What you are is a lying, cheating HARLOT.

i broke up with jake today too. way too clingy and over bearing.

dustin is calling.

Don't let it get you do-- oh you're already with Dustin.
Well I might say this is a refreshing change from the typical overdramatic bullshit.

Sara and I were having an actual conversation with the obsession today, and some trashy slut came over and pushed both of us out of the way and was like, "PSSSHHT! SCUSE ME!" and sat in his lap.

Ha, ha, ha DESTROYED.

i was so mad, i just walked away.

Being the bigger person, that's something to laud--

Sara and I trash talked her in front of Buddy and Dj the rest of lunch, and i don't think they completely got what we were talking about. haha.

Ha, ha wow that's some passive aggressive bullshit.

Elle and possibly Casey J. is comming with me to the concert tomorrow night with my church.

Glad to see all that church nonsense of being above the rabble and turning the other cheek and making peace rubbed off on you. Took the vital lessons, I see.
Now there's some words I'm not reading because every time I try my eyes cross involuntarily.

- 2007/seventh grade.

I assume the slash means also that year, so that means you are in... 9th grade.
Fantastic.
This, by the way, of things she misses/wants/needs.

- innocence.

"There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt."

i was kind of reluctant to admit that i was frighted

SHE WAS AFEARED!

but in all reality, Jake and i are still doing really well. even though it's only day eight.

All this ninth grade romance is really fascinating, but don't you have any other thoughts? At all?
I know that's asking a little much from a 9th grade girl posting on Livejournal (might as well be asking the tides to turn) but seriously. Cut it out.

i want to is be more than what i had with DJ but less than what is had with Richard.

DJ and Dick, Jake and-- the new one, what was it? Dustin?
Hold on, let me diagram this.
Ok going earlier-- oh hey, that's it! I'm done! I'm actually done!
Well in conclusion good luck with all your problems, kid and hey get ready for a long, long life of mediocrity and working at a nail salon.
I'm not saying it's glamorous or even all that useful but hey, it's a demand that someone has to fulfill, and where would we be without the countless hordes of menials who grind the wheels of bureaucracy?