Special Plague Update

Meant to update Monday but you know.
Flu and all.
I got a flu shot then still got the flu.
So much for immunization, eh motherfuckers?
I even read the vaccine was spot on this year.
WELL HERE'S ME AS LIVING PROOF YOU WERE A BIT OFF.
Maybe it mutated in me specifically.
I feel bad, too, because I started this 2 month job at a middle school a week and a half ago and already I've had to take a week off because I was dry heaving for 5 minutes yesterday.
Whatashame.
Anyway this blog is dark gray font on a black background.
Also it's like size .5 font.
Having it easy to read for my readers?
Psh no fuck you.
I'm sure half of you are in the habit of not clicking on the blogs (I can't blame you) but before we carry on you must at least look at what I'm suffering through (with the flu, mind) to entertain you today.
First, though, the entry from ONTD_P I found this bullshit from:

Coach suspended for 10 days after anti-gay rant

Coaches are always a little odd.

Fuck this guy and fuck the coach and fuck the school and fuck football and fuck Alabama. Seriously. That isn't misspeaking. That's being a racist, bigoted douchenugget.

All right his comments were (I assume, I can't read the original entry) bigoted but I don't know that they were inherently racist.
He did say some shit about Michelle Obama but maybe he just didn't like her as a person, or something--
you can dislike a black person for reasons other than their race, you know--
Anyway on to this crappy blog:

In which I'm exaggerating. I'm not hating on Christmas as hardcore right now, even if I still have way too many presents to finish. 8| One fish hat is almost done, though, so there's a good point.

Also, I got to go see The Hobbit at the midnight premier here. It was kind of awesome, because Mike decided to spring for 3D tickets, which ended up being an excellent choice. There was one other guy in the whole 3D showing (everyone else was cheap and went to the regular one lol)

Movie sucked. Live with it.

One of my main characters, Ainsley, got poisoned by a silver arrow (he's a werewolf), and for some reason in my own twisted mind, the poison of silver works unreasonably fast. Now he's dying and I don't know how to save him because the token healer of the group is also a werewolf.

And to top it off, Rinda, my half-elf, has just started to come to terms she might be ~in love~ with Ainsley.

I need a way to save his fuzzy butt pronto. And I am fresh out of brain power.

Wow that sounds awful.
Seriously stop writing.
I can't even begin to tell you how stupid "silver poisoning" sounds.
Silver is magic or some shit. If it hits the undead or a werewolf they burn. It's not poison.
If you want it to be poison that's stupid and you should feel bad.

Just a little miff I have with some people that follow this-is-not-native on Tumblr. Let me say first and foremost, I do identify heavily with both sides of my heritage. But because of my physical features, I mostly resemble the Cherokee side, 

I skipped the post where she said this because it was stupid but earlier she asserted she was related to Mary, Queen of Scots.
I checked and it's technically possible as Mary did have children (I've talked to people who claimed to be descended from Anne Boleyn, whose only child to survive infancy, Elizabeth I, was called the virgin queen for a reason) and yet being related to Mary on one side and the other half is Cherokee strikes me very much as trying to fit in with the regal, posh, Anglophile side of Livejournal that loves Dr. Who and that shitty Sherlock Holmes serial on the BBC on one side and trying to be an empowered POC womyn on the other.
In conclusion I'm almost certain you're full of shit.
That is something I learned in one of my pussy sensitivity classes and that's literally 90% of people that claim Native American heritage are either lying or are mistaken.

and I tend to speak out quite a bit about cultural appropriation from the Native Americans, because we have been so downtrodden in this country's history. (Don't get me wrong, I don't in any way hate this country. I just think NA rights are sometimes overlooked, and our lifestyles are sometimes glamourized when they're not.)

Not since the 1950s, no.
Once westerns moved to Spain and started being filmed by Italians not even westerns featured Indians.
No one gives a shit.

Anyway, some do-gooder submitted this to TINN, and...Really? Have you never seen a pup tent before? Because that is what that symbol is. Not a teepee. It's a pup tent. You go camping in them, hence why it's the universal US symbol for campgrounds. I don't think we NA people invented camping, just saying.

Link removed because it no longer exists--
common problem when blogs linking blogs, as I think you'll find occurs in my archives--
I've been asked why I always say I removed the link.
The reason is because despite being a patriarchal, imperialist white male pig I am in fact vehemently opposed to censorship, unlike every liberal blogger ever so I always feel fit to warn you in case you really care and want to check it out.
But in this case I wouldn't because it just 404s.
Also "we NA people" is kinda bullshit. Unless you live on a reservation then you should probably shut up.
You're probably like 1/32 Indian at best, assuming you even are, which I doubt.
Your claims to being Indian are probably more specious than my claims to being Roman is what I'm trying to say.
Also while Native Americans might not have invented camping Native Americans (broadly speaking) as a group seemed to stick with camping as a basis for civilization for about 2000 years longer than most everyone else did so I guess most people just considered you guys the experts on the topic.

Here's hoping Mike's superduper strong Army man coffee has done what it's supposed to. :3 Especially since he's gone off into the woods deer hunting (He hunts for meat, not sport, yay. Also, mmm, deer sausage. Om nom nom. Just sayin'.).

That's good he hunts for meat and not for sport because there isn't much sporting about shooting a deer.
Have you seen those things?
The only sporting creatures to hunt are bears (assuming you use a bow or a knife), crocodiles (blight on the earth) hippos (you can use guns for these also) other than that you're a pussy.
 And I've hit the start of this blog.
That's handy because I'm not sure my delicate constitution could take much more of this abuse.

A PATTERN EMERGES

My advanced statistical study of my own blog has determined most of you don't check update days but the day after.
I don't know why this is a stunning revelation considering how late I post these but whatever.
I found this blog on ONTD_Glee.
Because that's a thing.

I will never leave LJ.

Ever.

They can take away my layout. They can fuck around with the friends page. They can do away with paid accounts. Everyone can leave.

I WILL NOT LEAVE.

I will not move to Dreamwidth.

LJ has been my home for 11 years. I have been here through EVERY major LJ kerfluffle.

Can you fucking imagine being on Livejournal for 11 years and being proud of this fact?
That would be something I wouldn't tell under torture.

Planned Parenthood went well! I was briefly terrified in the waiting room. "What am I getting into, I'm a VIRGIN, I have no right to be here, this is all so overwhelming and terrifying HALP."

 Why are you posting about this?
This is officially more than I wanted to know. Your trip to Planned Parenthood and the lack of a pounding your tuna is getting.
I mean honest to fuck.

But at least being there made me feel like it was POSSIBLE. You know. Me having a relationship and sex and stuff. 

Nope.

Oh good. Now my period is here, and I'm so fucking sick. OH GOD was all of that PMS?! How the fuck do you induce your period. I really need to know. PMS is ruining my life I'm fucking serious. 

MORE THAN I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR VAGINA.

Alright tho. Re-bought Sims 3 (didn't have to, but didn't realize that until too late).

Runs on Octane like a dream, and memories came flooding back. I MISSED this game so much!! ;_; 

After 10 minutes of sitting here wondering what Octane was (I seem to recall there was a CD image mounter called Octane) I realized she's a twat and probably named her computer that.
And calls it that.
I hate it when people do that shit. I mean internally my computer is named Grimaldus but I don't call it that.
And Grimaldus is an awesome name. Naming your computer Octane is just overtly stupid.

So now the question is, why the hell will Sims 3 run beautifully, while Sims Social, a damn FACEBOOK game, lags like crazy and forces me to reload the page every 5 minutes?! 

>Facebook
>good coding
Pick zero and SUCK COCKS IN HELL.

MyBrowserCash turned out to be legit (and how!).

Now, CashGopher follows suit~! They paid me $12.92 yesterday!

Both are browser add-ons that make you look at scammy webpages for money, but both turn out to be quite profitable! 

Until the Ukranians steal all your money with the backdoor they installed--
but never mind.

CashGopher surprised me. The internet is full of emphatic rejections. "They never paid me, I only made 1 cent, they put trojans on my computer" and so forth. But apparently when you're like me, with 2 computers you leave on pretty much 24/7, you can rack up the change quite quickly. And not get a goddamn trojan.

Of course I doubt you could spot a Trojan when you got one.
The point is you kind of don't know because they're disguised as shit you let through.
Like the Trojan horse, you know?
Because Odysseus--
he made the Trojan horse as a gift for the Trojans but hid dudes in it that popped out and opened the gates, right
so you're not supposed to know when you get one.

So, in one of my live action improvised PR episodes when I was 13, Kimberly (yes, Kimberly Ann Hart) wanted to swear herself to celibacy because she was mad at Tommy and didn't want to be tempted to take him back.

You're almost named what my EVE Online character is named.
That's kinda spooky.
I don't know how you turned out to be such a twat, though.
Oh apparently that's not her name.
I have no idea what the fuck is happening
Who is Kimberly Ann Hart?

So I had her go to a priest, who had her swear on a bible that she would not attempt to engage anyone of the opposite sex in sexual intercourse, or engage in any sexual activity.

I remember going into my mom's room and grabbing an actual BIBLE (method acting) for this scene. And since I played all the characters, I put my hand on the bible and swore to this shit myself! (METHOD ACTING)


Of course, it only says "opposite sex". But even so. It's hilarious that that actually happened. That I, in character as (a blatantly ooc) Kim swore myself to celibacy on a real Bible. 

Really that's hilarious.
Meanwhile Anna Hart the EVE Online character forges an entire galactic weapons cartel. 
Not saying my story is better or I play better games than you
but you know.
I'm sure she'd swear on a Bible if she thought it'd get her somewhere, though.
That person in the last blog was gender fluid.
Anna Hart is ethics fluid.

IDK, Glee... you're not even worth vitriol. I'm so done.

I mean, I'm not, but goddammit, what the.

No, let's just. 

PICK A SENTENCE FRAGMENT AND STICK TO IT.

I acknowledge the kind of genius-y move of putting Karofsky's suicide attempt to Blaine's song, with Kurt present. Because Blaine also dealt with SERIOUS gay bashing and got the shit kicked out of him. So this was decent continuity.

Um. Karofsky's attempt. The whole thing was also surprisingly not-triggery, but SHOW YOU ARE NOT. NOT. NOT. NOT GOOD AT HANDLING DEPRESSION/SUICIDE SO STOP DOING THAT RIGHT NOW because just because I was not triggered, that doesn't mean others weren't GODDAMMIT TO FUCKING SHIT

TRIGGER WARNING CAN'T SEE ANYTHING SHOCKING
GLEE IS TOO HIGH OCTANE FOR ME
If you need a trigger warning for Glee you're in luck because there's a solution for that.
It's called GROW THE FUCK UP.

Yeah, so... I think I've finally figured out my "type". 

M8.

Single White Female seeks Evil Alien Robot. 

M8.

So... Steve Jobs, former CEO of Apple and tech god, passed away today, after stepping down barely a month ago. Shockingly sad news. I didn't even realize all the stuff he did until I read his Wikipedia page, but uh yeah. Pretty much went and changed EVERYTHING. Multiple times. He made technology amazing and exciting and revolutionary on an ongoing basis.

And he was only 56 years old! 

Didn't do shit.
Good businessman, though.
Anyway sorry to make this short but I just spent about 20 minutes with the worst dry eye ever and was basically just trying to read between having to slam my eyes shut.
That was very peculiar.
Anyway zzzzzzz

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

And other times you're a gender fluid trans woman otherkin.
This is the first tumblr I've ever reviewed.
Frankly I try to avoid tumblr as much as I can because digging through tumblr is like digging through a dog park.
Of course all you're going to find is dog shit. Don't be so surprised when that's what you unearth.

Since They changed Philosopher’s Stone to Sorcerer’s Stone for America, I decided to change the rest since us American’s are too dumb to understand the word philosopher:

Is it 1999?
Oh I also forgot heeeeeeeeeee (sheeeeeeeeee) whatever posts a lot of fat chicks.
Because FAT SHAMING.
HURRR.
BODY POLITICS
BUZZ WORDS
A map of "every fantasy world ever" even though I can think of at least 15 fantasy worlds off the top of my head that don't conform to this stereotype.

True gender equality is actually perceived as inequality. A group that is made up of 50% women is perceived as being mostly women.

Whining.

Also the study where they had women and men talking in a discussion and when women spoke around 30% of the time, men perceived them as dominating the discussion. They didn’t consider it “equal” until something like 5-10% of women talking.

That's because in pussy sensitivity classes women tended to shift the conversation away from whatever brand of bullshit we were talking about and make it about them.
LOOK I'M REALLY SORRY THEY DIDN'T HAVE SHOES IN YOUR SIZE SO IT'S SEXISM BUT MEANWHILE PEOPLE IN AFRICA FACE ACTUAL PROBLEMS.
LIKE NOT HAVING WATER.
That was always my one attempt at being sensitive.
LOOK I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALL THIS SHIT BUT PEOPLE DON'T HAVE WATER.
THIS PLANET IS LIKE 80% WATER HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE ACCESS TO WATER
HOW FUCKED UP IS YOUR LIFE

if it’s been said once it’s been said a thousand times: THE BURDEN OF ELIMINATING OPPRESSION DOES NOT LIE ON THE OPPRESSED. GET THE FUCK OVER IT. WHO CARES IF YOUR PRIVILEGED LITTLE FEELINGS ARE HURT? “hate mongering”. gtfo.

You really don't understand how a give and take works, do you?
Well if you have a fucking problem but you're going to be a little cunt about it then fuck your problems.
Try asking like a grown up.
Well here are some tits.
This blog is better than 90% of all blogs I've reviewed.

Author:
    She had skin the color of driftwood.
Reader:
    She's white.
Author:
    She had skin the color of fine bronze.
Reader:
    She's white.
Author:
    She had skin the color of a brown crayola crayon.
Reader:
    She's white.
Author:
    She had skin that was black because she was black.
Reader:
    She's white.
Author:
    She had skin.
Reader:
    She's white. 

>Wasting time on such useless details

POP QUIZ: WHAT COLOR IS ODYSSEUS?

I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE HOMER DIDN'T WASTE MY FUCKING TIME BY DESCRIBING IT.

Picture of Cowboy Bebop inexplicably--

AKA "if more anime were like this anime wouldn't suck and be for lonely nerds"

This is Rear Admiral Grace Hopper. 

No fuck you I already did a post about her.

Ok, it’s time for an education.  It’s not entirely your fault you’re utterly ignorant since the medical industrial complex AND the hatefilled society in which we all live both actively seek to reinforce the binary at any and all costs and purposefully keep people ill-informed and misinformed about the realities of biology.

... O-okay. 

The post is entitled "biological sex is socially constructed", incidentally.

Because, you know, if the media didn't lie to you men would drop babies out of their asses all the time.

But after I take valuable time out of my evening to educate you on how utterly biased and flawed the modern concept of “biological sex” is you no longer have an excuse and choosing to continue to cleave to your bullshit will officially become proof that you are nothing more than a bigotted asshole.  

Yes, please take time out of your busy evening doing fuck all to educate me.

Maybe that's how I should start class tomorrow

YOU LITTLE BASTARDS ARE LUCKY I'M TAKING TIME OUT OF MY SCHEDULE TO COME IN.

So let’s take a look at some true facts courtesy of Dr. Anne Fausto-Sterling who is a biologist and geneticist with a PhD, you know, a doctorate, in science, that thing you seem to be so obsessed with, that thing you seem to think is absolutely “objective” and always right all the time.  There are 5 specific measures of biological sex according to modern medical science.  

WHAT THE FUCK HAS SCIENCE EVER DONE FOR US ANYWAY?

• Chromosomes (men = XY, women = XX)
• Genitalia (men = penis, women = vulva and vagina)
• Gonads (men = testes, women = ovaries)
• Hormones (men = high testosterone, low estrogen, low progesterone; women = high estrogen, high progesterone, low testosterone)
• Secondary Sex Characteristics (men = large amounts of dark, thick, coarse body hair, noticeable facial hair, low waist:hip ratio, no noticeable breast development, rough skin; women = fine, light colored body hair, no noticeable facial hair, high waist:hip ratio, noticeable breast development, smooth skin)

But it's totally made up. All that shit was invented by society.

The thing is, in real life, very few people actually match up with all five categories.  

They match up enough to reproduce.
In fact enough people match up close enough that you can easily identify without thinking about it.
In fact the only one of these things that is arguably socially constructed is secondary sex characteristics.
Even so most women don't have five o'clock shadows.
The fact that some do doesn't mean it's not a masculine trait.

There are, of course, genetic differences that account for a decent percentage of human births like XXY, XXX, XO, and XYY (apx 1:500 births though it could easily be more than that since we don’t do genetic testing for all people and even at that ratio if there are over 6 billion people in the world 1:500 means there are a whole lot of genetically intersex people out there)

I'm sure the ratio isn't 1:500 and even if it were that's still rare.
That is less than one half of one percent.
I'm pretty sure occurrences of XO syndrome are described something like 16 times in the entirety of medical literature.
Granted the evil cisgender medical complex could just choose to ignore this pandemic but I'm taking the more likely explanation that it just doesn't occur that often.
Humanity wouldn't be especially fit if chromosomal disorders were allowed to run rampant.

 And since there are millions of people out there who’s very existence defies the biological concept of a two sex system we have legitimate proof that the concept of biological sex is a social construct. 

"Millions" out of billions of people.
Have you ever heard of "pleading the case"?
Because that's what this is.
I can show you three good Nazis and therefore conclude that all Nazis are necessarily good.
That's not really how it works, you know.

Biological sex is a social construct.  BIOLOGICAL SEX IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT. Seriously, biological sex is a social construct.  It’s not real.  It’s NOT something that is objective or unbiased or “natural.” 

Creatures with secondary sex characteristics?
Fuck you only humans have that shit.
Totally unnatural shit we made up.
What's that?
Oh, female dogs tend to have neutral colors compared to male dogs?
Oh, uhhh, shit?
Can we blame cissexism on that too?
I don't get why special snowflakes like this hinge their entire argument on what's natural.
I don't consider much of what humanity does as especially natural.
Who gives a shit?
Driving cars?
Yeah that shit's totally natural.
Here's a video about how to tie a bow tie and I'm supposed to be impressed because you can't see the hands tying it (the "white hands" as the special snowflake says)
FUCKING VIDEOS THAT TEACH YOU HOW TO TIE KNOTS ARE INHERENTLY RACIST.

I like twine games and other interactive fiction and point and click games because my fingers and hands fall apart when I play normal games, lots of games don’t work for cripples.

And she's crippled.
Apparently.
Not buying it but whatever.

Shooting games and fighting games and racing games require not letting go of the controller for a relatively long time and I can’t handle it. Controllers are heavy. I have a DS and a 3DS and they’re heavy. Holding onto a controller is hard for me. High action games don’t let me pace myself, they force me to go on their fast pace or I’ll lose or die or mess up and have to start over.

...
Yeah.
You're not crippled, idiot.
It's you're not good at video games.

This is why I like games where you can stop to think/rest/look at the surroundings and details. Games like Professor Layton or Pokemon or old point and click adventure games or casual flash games with simple mechanics. Games that don’t have enemies, games that don’t have tricky moving platforms or rolling boulders you have to run away from. Games that require fast reaction and long periods of playtime are unplayable.

>Pokemon
>thought
Unless you're doing competitive battling (you're not) or RNG abusing then no.
...
Then she posts this unnatural creature.
It looks like its legs are going to unfold into some sort of spider legs.
That's disturbing me.
Light them all on fire.
Anyway time for bed.