Stand Back

I'm gonna open it--
What do you do when a blog is rated 18+ CONTENT NOT APPROPRIATE FOR MINORS but some entries aren't hidden behind a cut? I'm just sitting here looking at one that is hidden behind a cut like what may be contained underneath is the ARK OF THE COVENANT.
Then my face is going to melt like a Nazi scientist.

Which television show continues to get worse every season and should just get cancelled already?

Dexter.
To say that the newer seasons aren't up to the standards of the first season is an understatement.

My qualified answer is Glee. It was cheeky and grown up the first season. Now it's a teenage sensation. Bring it back to what it was and it could be great again.

Your qualified answer, as opposed to all these unqualified answers.
What are your qualifications, again?
Here we go, an entry entitled "Punching the Air! The Muse is BACK!!!" and the dreaded
"( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )"
I feel I should suit up for this. In fact, I recommend you suit up as well. Hazardous environment suits go.
I'm not going to recommend the exact type of containment suit but I look like this currently:
And I suggest you look about the same.

And she is timey-whimy, and adventurous, Emo, and sexy as can be. WOO HOO!!!!!

Your tricks all worked, F-Listers. I'm not quite sure what pushed it over the edge... I think it may have something to do with knowing Mr. Who is coming home this afternoon

RATED 18+

So here's a sneak peak... Yes, I'm pimping Let's Get Lost, because frankly, it's not getting a lot of love, and that's making the Who a little bit sad.

FOR ADULTS ONLY
Oh and we're going to get a sneak peek into a fanfiction.
A sexy fanfiction with this bullshit rating system, I suspect.
Can one man be this blessed?
Good thing I suited up beforehand. I am prepared to crush any heresy I see.

"That song," he traced her jawline with his fingertip, "was playing the second time I made you scream my name that night." She shuddered as the warm breath of his words met her ear. "And then there you were... I saw you framed in that doorway... the way the light from the hallway played on you -- you looked like a glowing goddess."

I know power armor was designed to deflect small arms fire and can even absorb the hellish microwave inferno of a meltagun but I don't believe it was designed to absorb this much douchebaggery.

Ian cupped her cheek. "You were singing that song... to me." He stroked her brow, wiping a stray hair away from her face. "I just… couldn’t take it anymore." He nuzzled her neck and breathed her in.

I AM WREATHED IN WARPFIRE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH--
Oh boy, another cut.
Are you ready for this?
Note that this cut means it is for ADULTS ONLY 18+ the same age you need to be to buy cigarettes and enlist in the armed forces.
Are you ready for this?
You're never going to guess what it contains!

FYI, Dame Tyler has updated her blog :D Just thought you should know.

OH MY GOD FUCKING THANKS FOR THIS CUT! I MIGHT HAVE HAD TO SHIELD A YOUNG CHILD'S EYES FROM DAME TYLER UPDATING HER BLOG!

I started out with a rogue muse; now I have a confused muse.

There are only 9 muses.
What, does everyone need their own muse now?
Also the muses, at least classically and therefore THE ONLY MUSES THAT COUNT only inspired great people whose talent was worthy of their attention.
Fucking they wouldn't come to the aid of every twat who writes fanfiction.
In fact, I do believe there's a passage in The Theogony where someone tries to invoke a muse over fanfiction and Apollo, the protective brother of the muses, shoots the asshole with a silvery dart right in the fucking coconut.

I've been writing the outline for "Let's Get Lost" for a week now, and I'm no further along plot-wise than I was a week ago.

Also the muses don't get frustrated. Their talent is beyond mortal understanding.
God, no one understands the point of the muses. It's not supposed to be your fucking dipshit fanfiction personified. They're supposed to represent an eternal ideal that no man can fully capture.
Jesus Christ bronze age mythology is too complicated for you idiots. This is shit invented by people who literally didn't know to not shit where they draw their water and it's still a little above you.

Additionally, I've been told (and I'm so glad that I was) by a Native Scot that NO ONE says "Wee Lassie"... so there is going to be a confrontation between Ian and Ginger about this phrase.

Can a native Scot tell me what BRAW WIRK, LASSIE means because someone said it to my Final Fantasy character yesterday in a cutscene and I just sat there.
Braw wirk-- good work?
Good work, girl?
SPEAK ENGLISH YOU CUNTS JESUS.

I have a muse gone rogue.

My next story, "Let's Get Lost" was supposed to be a funny, humorous and romantic romp through time and space (how's that for cookie cutter description?).

Well, that's not where the muse is taking me.

Okay I've pulled up a list of all 9 muses.
Let's see which unfortunate gets the title "muse of fanfiction".

Calliope--the muse of epic poetry

Somehow I doubt the muse that inspired The Odyssey and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight bothers with Dr. Who fanfiction.

Clio--the muse of history

Somehow I doubt the muse that inspired The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire gives two shits about who Dr. Who should have really fucked because, like, they totally belong together.
Now I'm going to cut this short for your benefit, reader, but let me say this repeats seven more times.
LJ won't let me update my Master Fic List!!! Keep getting "500 Internal Server Error" messages. Does anyone know what this means? Is there a problem in the HTML??? I've cut and pasted into a new post, removed the LJ-cut, etc... put it back into a normal post-date rather than dating out of order...
HOW DO I FIND OUT WHAT THINGS MEAN?
GOOGLE.COM? WHAT'S THAT?
WIKIPEDIA.ORG? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
OTHER THINGS I DON'T KNOW:
ASKING A FRIEND
WAITING A LITTLE BIT AND SEEING IF THE PROBLEM FIXES ITSELF

st: I don't use LJ for political purposes... this is my happy place. I don't want drama here. Too much drama in real life.

Second: "conservative" may mean something different in the US than it does in, say, England, Australia, Czech Republic or Japan.

Third: I'm a woman of faith, a Christian specifically, but I do not equate the Creator of the Universe with Republican. I think He's sort of above that, don't you?

As you may know I often like to include song lyrics in my entries so I will anger myself later when I reread it.
In the interest of doing that:
so you think I've got an evil mind
I'll tell you honey,
I don't know why
I don't know why
so you think my singing's out of time
it makes me money
I don't know why
I don't know why anymore
OHHHH NOOOOO
You're welcome, me.

Especially since I believe he's the God of the entire universe, not America alone.

So all of that being said...

Probably the most interesting thing to happen this entry was the lyrics I just posted.
This entry is pretty bad, not gonna lie.

Politically, I am conservative with ever-growing libertarian leanings. Don't unfriend me liberal friends! I enjoy your opinions and viewpoints, and have quite a few very liberal friends.

I took like a 500 point political quiz and needless to say I didn't understand the results.

What is your favorite foreign film? Do you think there should be an American remake?

I already told you idiots the correct answer to this question.
The answer is Yojimbo and yes there should be an American remake because there already is one and it's called Fistful of Dollars.

Hmmmm. Big question. Too many choices. I will answer the second half of the second half of the question, though. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Okay, I've decided, but I can't choose just one. It is a tie between Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Life is Beautiful.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
Did you know the plot to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon doesn't make sense to Western audiences?
It's true. If you thought you understood that movie you are sadly mistaken.
It's not your fault, though. The reason it made no sense is because it's a movie adaptation of a book series and IT'S PART FUCKING FOUR.
This is really boring, did I mention that?
I think I'm going to go do something else now.

I go with vigilance

No hope in defiance.
It's one of those blogs, man.
One of them blogs.

What is the one song you must sing at karaoke?

Today's writer's block. Some toolfactory said Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven. Somehow I doubt he was aware that song doesn't have lyrics. Most people would think he was making an inept joke but no.
Luckily our blogger today had more to say:

Well I don't sing Karaoke in public. But I always always sing Roger Miller's King of the Road.

I DON'T SING KARAOKE SO I'LL BE SURE TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION.

What was the biggest lesson learned from your adolescence?

The biggest lesson I learned from my adolescence is TO OPPOSE US IS BLASPHEMY.
Wait, no, that's Warhammer again.

That boys and men alike are pigs and only want one thing.

I always find this interesting line of logic that goes something like it's okay to say this shit as long as it's directed towards men but the second I say something like "most women I meet are childish and infantile" suddenly I'm a sexist pig.
MMMMM YEAH. But unlike this cunt I don't give a shit about any perceived double standards. I just do what I want anyway.

Yesterday Kaylee got her shots finally. Had a small problem with insurance. Apparently I had the wrong card. I hate DSHS.

I find when you're trying to make interesting posts it's important to start with as many simple sentences in a row so your writing is as choppy as possible.
Yeah, I should take this time to mention that what originally raised my ire for this blog was she has this book meme where every day it's "a book you hated" or "a book you think is overrated" and needless to say she isn't making very good decisions with her life.

Day 11 – A book you hated

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

I hate Holden Caulfield. He is an awful person and a very unlikable character in a book.

LOOK AT ME I'M MISSING THE POINT OF EVERYTHING AND I'LL DIE ANGRY.

The book was written from his point of view. He is a very selfish, judgemental, and horrible person. Never a nice thing to say about anyone or anything. If he were a real person, I would be raging against him instead of John Mayer.

I'M AN ENORMOUS DIPSHIT.

Day 03 – Your favorite series

This is difficult. It seems I am big on reading series books. I loved The Dark Tower series by Stephen King

I hate The Catcher in the Rye but anything by Stephen King is gold.
WHAT KIND OF BIZARRO EARTH ARE YOU LIVING ON, WOMAN?

Day 01 – Best book you read last year

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

Ohhhh boy, now we're going to have some words.
Margret Atwood is the biggest literary hack I can think of. Even Stephen King's books, as bad and poorly conceived as they are, at least have a bit of honesty to them. He starts out thinking of a cool premise for a horror story and doesn't really follow through. You know what you're getting when you come in and he makes no excuses about his writing.
Margaret Atwood, however, is always the same trope: "I'm going to base this on some literary classic and say 'well, Odysseus may have almost drowned five times and gotten eaten by a sea monster but you know who had it really tough? HIS WIFE!'" Yeah, just what I wanted to read about. Penelope doing nothing instead of ADVENTURES ON THE HIGH SEAS. And it's all some bullshit attempt to talk about feminism. I can think of nothing tackier than trying to inject some bullshit slant to a classic.
No shit, people weren't exactly enlightened about women's lib in 800 BC. Get over it.
The part that slays me though is in a class where we're reading classics I had to read excerpts from crap like this and The Wide Sargasso Sea (had to read all of that fuck) like these somehow parallel the thing they're based on.
Margaret Atwood, you are not Homer.
Whoever wrote The Wide Sargasso sea (some dick I think), you are not Charlotte Bronte.

I wouldn't want to live in a world like this. Reverting back to women not having any rights, or anything. I would just as soon kill myself. It was a good book though. I recommend it highly, not for young minds though.

If I recall Margaret Atwood's stories were always borderline pornographic.
I'm sure she had all sorts of fucked up fetishes. I'm not buying that she wrote this graphically to depict how awful it is to be a woman.

The Synopsis from Goodreads:

It is the world of the near future, and Offred is a Handmaid in the home of the Commander and his wife. She is allowed out once a day to the food market, she is not permitted to read, and she is hoping the Commander makes her pregnant, because she is only valued if her ovaries are viable.

See what I mean?
Ugh, forget it.

Today feels like it has potential to get worse. The desire to turn off my phone and the computer for the day is tempting. I really need a nap, I generally get the desire to sleep all the time when I am on my time of the month. I have no energy at all. I feel like I am getting cranky and real whiny.

Come hang out in my linkshell if you're cranky and whiny.
I'm the elected den mother of my pack of misfits, too, so I'm sure we'll get along well.

I am hungry too, I am gonna make something to eat pretty soon. I think cigarette smoke upsets my allergies. I don't get sneezing until I get a whiff of it. That and my mom smoking pot in her room gets it going too.

Cool mom.
Ooooooh boy.
How is it I always find myself in positions of leadership? I am the last person you want telling anyone else want to do and yet I have a linkshell that's near capacity and I taught about 80 people to read.
How did I get here?

Day 26 ⇝ What kind of person attracts you

I am not a shallow person. Looks aren't priority for me. However, With that being said, there has to be some kind of physical attraction or it really won't work.

>looks aren't a priority
>if there isn't physical attraction it won't work
Just admit looks do matter, Christ.

No one can roll over the next morning and see their partner and wonder if they had been drinking the night before. I mostly look for someone who can put up with my crap.

Real catch here, gentlemen.

haha. I am a uber geeky anime convention magic the gathering playing nerd. I play video games. I read books. I am weird! I am looking for someone with the same qualites so that we can nerd out together! Also, I am looking for someone who is kindhearted, and sweet. But hates people as much as I do.

Oddly the quality that makes me hate people makes me equally intolerant of you.
Strange disconnect on your part, there.

Basically, A nerd who is sweet, awesome, and has a sense of humor. and I have already found someone who fits all of these.

Lucky him.
Wait a minute
>sweet
>hates humanity
I'm not an expert on human emotion by any stretch but what?

I know having a baby really changes things. I don't get to see friends hardly, or go anywhere. And if I do go somewhere I can only go for a short time, because I can't have my baby out for too long, or if I have a sitter I don't want to put them off their whole day.

RESPONSIBILITY. It's like you shouldn't get knocked up when you are unprepared for the responsibility of raising a child or something, fuck!

I got TANF from DSHS.

Yeah well I got ERG from PZYJ.
The fuck?

They are going after Chad for Child Support now. After they get him in for a paternity test. I have been a bit anxious that he will start wanting visitation. I know he will not get custody, but I really am not comfortable with him being around her. I am not angry with him anymore, but I am just uncomfortable. He is beyond negative about EVERYTHING. He is an alcoholic, he has some issues I think he needs to seek help for. I believe he is bi polar.

The perfect father for my child.
Good fucking work.
I don't understand women who would reproduce with someone like this. I know accidents happen and you thought you were in love and whatever else you people think but honest to God can't you use some critical thinking or good judgment skills once in your fucking lives?

He needs to talk to someone. He needs to seek help for alcoholism. He needs to pull himself out of this denial he lives in. HE is so down in the dumps. Who wouldn't be, with being homeless? He put himself there though. He refuses to take responsibility for anything and actually do the work to make his life better.

So we take the child from her where it's raised in some sort of monastery setting to--
I don't know. I had only envisioned this strategy to raise super soldiers and she had a daughter.
Can women be super soldiers?
Not in any media I've ever seen.

But the ending result was so worth it. Into the world came Kaylee Rose. She is precious. I am so happy to have her. Being a mom is amazing.

Her father is a douche, and I am not comfortable with her being around him and I will fight any attempt he tries to get visitation. Unless it is supervised. I don't know. I want nothing to do with him. the only thing he gave me was this little precious girl and I am thankful for only that.

And yet you have no qualms trying to bleed support out of him.
Of course he should support his child, and if he's unfit to visit her--
I don't know, honestly. I'm just so disgusted with both parties I feel the only solution is to drown all parties in ammonia.
Now there's a Facebook argument where dog toys are compared to the expenses incurred with a newborn--
This is all very white trash but please.

I like not having to go to work, only because I hate my job. I am very bored otherwise and I am going crazy just being at home all day.

Wonder how she manages to not work.
HOW'S IT GOING, TAX PAYERS?
HOW'S THAT ECONOMY TREATING YOU?
No, that's unfair. I don't know for certain that's how she makes her money--
hmm.

My own crap

I need to get a better job. I need to straighten out my finances. I am now on a budget. A very tight one. I need to save up money for a bed... AGAIN. I gave it to my mom to help her out. I need to get back into school, and I will when Kaylee is born. Everything I have planned will come after the baby is born. It's just the waiting that kills me.

Yeah--
yeah.
Speaking of, time to check my email to see if I get to WORK FOR ANIME~
NO RESPONSE.
I guess I should give them more than 24 hours to hire me.
I actually gave them about four before I started checking my email religiously.
Hoooo boy.
Anyway what follows is HURRR DURRRR DURRRRRR so I think I'm done.

BY THE EMPEROR!

Holy shit, motherfucker.
Click on this.
Feel your hate grow in size and intensity.
That is, in fact, black font on a background image that is mostly black.
Even if the image were predominantly yellow this would be so noisy it'd give you a migraine, it'd cause eye strain, it'd probably make you go blind or cause serious retinal damage-- basically anything short of having your head explode.
I know it's a little much to ask of these shit-chucking apes to have a little web design sense but I don't think it's unreasonable to have the FUCKING THING LEGIBLE.
First step: view > page style > no style.
Of course "no style" is what it had before. I'd call black text on white background minimalist.
First thing that assaults my senses after the wonderful taste in layout is a Writer's block and a comic straight from the bowels of Reddit.
Haven't heard of Reddit?
Consider yourself fortunate.

Living in a mind that can be swayed by emotional states makes you more robotic than living in a mind that can see beyond a current emotional state. Being a slave to your cheers and tears does not mean you have "free will", in fact, it's quite the opposite.

I don't think you want me to submit to cold logic because it would cry out for your destruction, scum.

Granted, it is important to consider your own emotions when making decisions, but they shouldn't go uncriticized and they shouldn't be the only thing considered (you selfish fucks). Seeing as most emotional schemas are generated by upbringing, which is a product of environment (aka groupthink), "trusting your gut" may actually be perpetuating a negative status quo.

Things that should go through your head when you decide to do something:
1. Will it benefit me?
2. How much will it benefit me?
3. Is it illegal?
4. How likely am I to get caught if it is illegal?
5. Am I pussy?
6. Can I handle the fallout if it's something bad (see previous)?
Based on these six simple questions you can make all decisions.

There is a reason why the majority of people are referred to as automatons by the "elite". It's because most people ARE practically machines. They behave predictably and follow direct command without question. If you don't feel resistive pressure coming from inside against the constructs that surround you and try to drown your soul, then you are under the spell of maturity. "Maturity" seems to be synonymous with accepting defeat, believing the beast will protect you as long as you feed it.

That's a good point. I'm going to start being mature (or the opposite of mature, whatever you're on about) by ignoring your hippie FUCK THE MAN bullshit.

So I am at a crossroads. Should I start doing heroin, or should I start cutting myself while listening to Avenge Sevenfold?

It's funny you consider yourself a free thinker when your alternative to submitting to "the man" and being happy (two things somehow joined in your mind as you later claim happiness is an illusion) and yet your immediate choices really do strike me as a decision best made in Hot Topic.

I just heard a body spray ad say "leave your own mark on the world"! HOW HOW HOW HOW??!! With your body spray or by pissing?!!! The former isn't MY mark, it's yours you fucking assface, and the latter is just gross! They are trying to meld our instincts with consumerism!!! RUN!!!

Oh it was a fucking commercial you dipshit get over it. They want your stupid ass to buy their shitty product and they know you're too much of a hapless moron to think for yourself so they tell you girls will hump your leg like dogs if you wear this shit so you do it.
But no, you're too smart for that.
Not smart enough to actually be an original thinker but, you know, original enough to realize the aforementioned ad is bullshit. You just don't know what to do about it.

Divide and conquer. ALPHA MALE ALPHA MALE ALPHA MALE SUBMIT SUBMIT SUBMIT SUBMIT SUBMIT WAR IS FUN WAR IS FUN WAR IS FUN WAR IS FUN WAR IS FUN.

Oh Christ with the melodrama. They wanted to sell you Axe, they're not trying to send you off to war. Get over it.

The war on christmas is made up. It's christians simply trying to make it seem like they are being oppressed (I am aware not all christians are like this, so this entry is NOT about them).

You know what you are you over-analytical piece of shit? A tender misanthrope. You'll gladly sit here and hate Christians-- but you're willing to make room in your heart "for the real Christians".
I say fuck you take all this shit and cram it.

I dreamed that there was this group of people wandering the streets acting as a collective force. They would gang up on random individuals or smaller groups of people on the street (without even being provoked) and tell them to join their group with the threat of violence. They would tell you that your regular life is over and that you are now a part of them (no more life to yourself). You will do as they say and do or you will be hurt or killed.

No hope in defiance.
You know I'm sure he's about to turn this into FUCK THE MAN FUCK SOCIETY but I'd like to point out this is the very same society that lets him sit on his ass, utilizing the most WONDROUS INVENTION EVER to type this bullshit against the very system he hates so much.

No one would stand up to them because they were everywhere and too numerous.
At one point I was absorbed, but only in body. My mind was not about to adopt their philosophies. It was scary and vivid as fuck. I woke up to a relief, but that feeling faded because this dream was merely a more concentrated version of reality.

You know there's an entire wilderness west of where you live most likely. You could easily pack your shit and wander off into the woods and be no man's slave then.
Now here's a gay quiz where it determines what color your rainbow is tinted. Can't believe I waste my time with this nonsense. Why would you even link this in a blog? Who cares what color your fucking rainbow is?
I got gray.
Thanks a lot, internet.
Gray rainbow. Brilliant.
Oh but look at this shit:

What is says about you: You are an elegant person. You appreciate tradition and wisdom that comes with age.

YEAAAAH CLASSY SHIT HERE.

The idea of life imprisonment is ridiculous as well. I am going to spell this out simply: NO ONE SHOULD SERVE A PRISON TERM LONGER THAN 15 YEARS FOR ANY CRIME. I think after fifteen years a mass murderer would have learned his or her lesson. If not, then let those who were victimized shoot him or her in the fucking head! Problems solve themselves when law enforcement doesn't get in the way and cause the willing the dwell on their angst.
Oh boy I'm sure your society would be great to live in.

What's the difference between a perceived sleight and a real sleight?
TO MOST PEOPLE THEY ARE THE SAME THING.
Uuuuuuuh fuck this asshole.
Change your background, dipshit.